Alex Cracknell

Relationships

Harvard professor reveals the secret to a happily ever after marriage

Harvard professor reveals the secret to a happily ever after marriage

After more than two decades of studying love, a Harvard professor has uncovered a heartwarming truth: the key to a long and happy relationship isn’t fiery passion or sweeping romance – it’s friendship.

Arthur Brooks, a renowned social scientist, shared his insights on The Drive podcast with Dr Peter Attia, revealing that the strongest marriages are those where partners are, above all else, best friends.

“The goal of your marriage is not passion, it’s friendship,” Prof Brooks explained. “You must be close friends, ideally best friends, with your spouse.”

According to Prof Brooks, friendship forms the foundation for lasting happiness. He spoke movingly about the joy of having a partner who is by your side through life’s journey. “One of the most important things for a happy life is a partnership with somebody who will be the last person you set eyes on as you take your last dying breath,” he said.

Far from worrying about fading passion, couples should take comfort in knowing that it’s normal – and even healthy – for relationships to mellow over time. “Low intimacy levels are healthy, normal, and actually advisable, as it’s more sustainable in the long run,” Prof Brooks noted.

He also encouraged couples to build shared interests and engage in deep conversations, so they stay connected even after the kids leave home. And while friendship within a marriage is vital, so too are friendships beyond it. Prof Brooks especially urged men to nurture their social circles, highlighting how important it is to have supportive friends throughout life’s ups and downs.

So, next time you’re looking for a way to strengthen your relationship, perhaps skip the grand romantic gestures – and plan a coffee date, a walk, or a good chat. Because at the end of the day, it’s friendship that makes love truly last.

Images: The Drive / Pexels, Vlada Karpovich

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