Funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival crowned
<p>The funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival has been crowned, with the top ten hilarious quips also receiving honourable mentions. </p>
<p>Thousands of performers flock to Scotland's capital each year to entertain and delight crowds at the Fringe in all areas of the arts, including live comedy. </p>
<p>For the last 15 years, British entertainment channel U&Dave, owned by British broadcaster UKTV, has handed out the "Funniest Joke of the Fringe Award" by popular vote. </p>
<p>Despite coming up against fierce competition, comedian Mark Simmons won with his joke, "I was going to sail around the globe in the world's smallest ship but I bottled it."</p>
<p>A panel that included leading UK comedy critics and comedians attended hundreds of shows across the festival and submitted their 10 top jokes, before a shortlist of gags were anonymised was presented to 2,000 members of the British public to vote on the one that evoked the most laughter.</p>
<p>Upon winning the prestigious award, Simmons, who was at the Fringe celebrating his 10 year anniversary as a stand-up comedian, said, "I'm really chuffed to win U&Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe. I needed some good news as I was just fired from my job marking exam papers, can't understand it, I always gave 110%."</p>
<p>Check out the list of the top ten jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival as voted by the public below. </p>
<p>1. "I was going to sail around the globe in the world's smallest ship but I bottled it." Mark Simmons</p>
<p>2. "I've been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don't feel like I'm progressing. It's just one step forward… two steps back." Alec Snook</p>
<p>3. "Ate horse at a restaurant once - wasn't great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful." Alex Kitson</p>
<p>4. "I sailed through my driving test. That's why I failed it." Arthur Smith</p>
<p>5. "I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it." Mark Simmons</p>
<p>6. "My dad used to say to me 'Pints, gallons, liters' – which, I think, speaks volumes." Olaf Falafel</p>
<p>7. "British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons?" Chelsea Birkby</p>
<p>8. "I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I've cracked it." Masai Graham</p>
<p>9. "My partner told me that she'd never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had." Zoë Coombs Marr</p>
<p>10. "The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati." Olaf Falafel</p>
<p><em>Image credits: Instagram </em></p>
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