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"I was terrified": Law & Order star reveals traumatic past

<p><em>Warning: This story contains graphic content.</em></p> <p>Mariska Hargitay, who plays Olivia Benson, a character that investigate rapists on <em>Law &amp; Order: Special Victims Unit, </em>has revealed that she too is a victim of sexual assault. </p> <p>The actress opened up about her traumatic past in a powerful essay written for <a href="https://people.com/mariska-hargitay-experience-rape-renewal-reckoning-8424247" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>People Magazine</em></a>, where she revealed that she was raped by “a friend" when she was in her thirties. </p> <p>"A man raped me in my thirties," she bravely revealed in the essay. </p> <p>"It wasn’t sexual at all. It was dominance and control. Overpowering control."</p> <p>The actress revealed that he was a friend who "made a unilateral decision" and recalled the fear she felt when the incident occurred. </p> <p>"He grabbed me by the arms and held me down. I was terrified," she said. </p> <p>"I didn’t want it to escalate to violence. I now know it was already sexual violence, but I was afraid he would become physically violent.</p> <p>"I went into freeze mode, a common trauma response when there is no option to escape. I checked out of my body," she recalled. </p> <p>Hargitay, who is the daughter of the late actress Jane Mansfield, said that she never thought of herself as a "survivor", and often "minimised" what happened to her when she talked about it with others. </p> <p>"My husband Peter remembers me saying, “I mean, it wasn’t rape," she wrote. </p> <p>"Then things started shifting in me, and I began talking about it more in earnest with those closest to me. They were the first ones to call it what it was."</p> <p>The actress said that she wants other survivors to feel "no shame" about sexual assault and wants "this violence to end." </p> <p>She added that justice "may look different for each survivor," but for her she wants "an acknowledgment and an apology" after what happened. </p> <p>"This is a painful part of my story. The experience was horrible. But it doesn’t come close to defining me, in the same way that no other single part of my story defines me," she concluded, adding that she feels for all sexual violence survivors. </p> <p>"I’m turning 60, and I’m so deeply grateful for where I am. I’m renewed and I’m flooded with compassion for all of us who have suffered. And I’m still proudly in process."</p> <p>Hargitay started her own foundation, the Joyful Heart Foundation, in 2004 to help survivors of sexual assault. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

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Law & Order star finally spills on the real reason he left the show

<p>Christopher Meloni has made many <em>Law &amp; Order </em>fans happy by returning to the popular crime drama after leaving 10 years ago. Now he tells us the real reason he left.</p> <p>Known for his portrayal of the no-nonsense Detective Elliot Stabler on <em>Law &amp; Order: SVU</em> for a long run of 12 seasons between 1999 and 2011, Meloni left the show at the end of the 12th season.</p> <p>His sudden departure was a major shock to his detective partner on the show, Mariska Hargitay. As her character, Olivia Benson, she portrayed this shock in the Season 13 premiere.</p> <p>At the time, it was reported that Meloni left the show because of a contract dispute and finally, when <em>Men’s Health</em> interviewed Meloni recently, he confirmed this was the case.</p> <p>Meloni told <em>Men’s Health</em> he was negotiating with the show's executive producer, Dick Wolf, for less screen time in the 13th season but he was having trouble getting his message across.</p> <p>"My thought was: instead of 22 episodes, bring me back for nine episodes, or bring me back for 18 episodes," Meloni told <em>Men's Health</em>.</p> <p>In the end, Meloni sad they came to me on a Thursday night and said: “This is the deal. We want the answer by tomorrow. It’s our way or no way.”</p> <p>Because the producer wasn’t offering anything Meloni had asked for, Meloni said he just agreed that if he couldn't have it his way, he wouldn't have it any way at all. So, he decided to bring an end to his character's time on the show.</p> <p>"I don't want to f--k around with you guys. This is what I want. If you can't do it, that's fine. Let's figure out my exit," he said of his last discussion with Wolf.</p> <p>However, now that Meloni is back on the set of <em>Law &amp; Order</em> in <em>Organized Crime</em>, which you can watch in Australia for free on 9Now, there is far less stress involved, and the actor is finding himself having a good time taking the character of Elliot Stabler back on.</p> <p>"I'm not stressed by, ‘Will it go well? Will it not go well?' Not that I know how it's going to go. Just that, eh, just ride. Just do, just be," Meloni said to <em>Men's Health</em>.</p> <p><strong><em>You can stream the complete seasons of </em></strong><strong><a rel="noopener" href="https://stream.9now.com.au/9OoBaVXFsib" target="_blank" title="Law &amp; Order"><em>Law &amp; Order</em></a><em>, </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://9now.app.link/E94KXzqypfb" target="_blank" title="Law &amp; Order: Organized Crime"><em>Law &amp; Order: Organized Crime</em></a><em>, and </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://stream.9now.com.au/q2h127aGsib" target="_blank" title="Law &amp; Order: Criminal Intent"><em>Law &amp; Order: Criminal Intent</em></a><em> for free on 9Now.</em></strong></p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

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