What happened when my mother received a pacemaker
<p><em><strong>Robyn Lee is in her 70s and lives with two lovable but naughty cats. She has published a book on seniors behaving badly, entitled Old Age and Villainy, and considers herself an expert on the subject.</strong></em></p>
<p>Several years ago, my 97-year-old mother (aka The Matriarch or TM for short) was diagnosed with heart problems. As time progressed, her symptoms worsened to the point where she started having blackouts. These were eventually attributed to postural hypotension, a condition where her heart rate dropped so low, regardless of whether she was sitting or standing, she would lose consciousness. Unfortunately, it also meant being confined to the house just in case she had a blackout and injured herself, which did not sit well with TM at all. </p>
<p>"Bloody hell," she grizzled. "We’re (including her third husband… she’s outlived the first two) used to going out for lunch, we visit friends and go to our singing group. I also play bowls twice a week and now I'm stuck at home."</p>
<p>TM went on to relate how they were having their customary glass of wine or three one evening and the next thing she knew, she came to, realising The Third was holding her up as she had lost consciousness and started to topple off her chair.</p>
<p>"I spilt my wine all down the front of me," she declared much to the horror of my brothers, cousins, and me. </p>
<p>"Oh, no! What a waste of wine!" was our first reaction, (we’re a warped lot).</p>
<p>Fortunately, according to TM’s cardiologist, these blackouts were easily righted by either stenting or inserting a pacemaker.</p>
<p>"Easy peasy," declared one of TM's friends when she was told about TM’s condition. "I've had a pacemaker and I'm a new woman!"</p>
<p>TM duly had the pacemaker inserted, and three days later I rang to see how she was, only to hear her grumbling about feeling so weak and shaky and that she wanted to get out into the garden, go out to lunch, return to playing bowls, etc. Talk about impatient...</p>
<p>However, I rang her again about a week later and it was a different story. As her balance was not good, which was to be expected at her age, she was provided with a wheelie walker so she felt more secure while walking. I asked TM how she liked the wheelie walker, thinking she might be a bit put out having to use one, but...</p>
<p>"It's wonderful," she enthused. "I'm charging round all over the place! I can get out into the garden and go here and there. Nothing stops me."</p>
<p>Lady Lunchalot was back in circulation. Though I could understand her glee as she had been stuck home for quite a few months because of her little "turns". </p>
<p>TM then described what happened before she had the pacemaker inserted, as I hadn't liked to keep her talking for too long during my earlier call. Apparently, a nurse explained what to expect in theatre and ended by saying TM would have to take her knickers off. After thinking about this, TM wondered why, when they would be operating on her chest, she’d have to take her knickers off.</p>
<p>Once she was wheeled into theatre, the surgeon introduced himself and the other four doctors there and asked TM if she had any questions. She queried as to why she’d have to take her knickers off.</p>
<p> As TM related it, “Five jaws dropped and five pairs of eyes popped before they roared with laughter. I could feel myself going red...the first time in my life I've blushed!”.</p>
<p>The surgeon explained that the nurse was thinking of earlier days but with the procedures they now had in place deal with germs, it's not like it used to be. He then told her she could keep her knickers on!</p>
<p> A few days later, TM was signing the hospital discharge sheet and noticed the cardiologist’s comments that her heart had been almost totally blocked and beating at only 30 beats per minute. TM only had one question;</p>
<p>"Why am I still here?"</p>
<p>Her health had been of concern to us all but with the pacemaker inserted, she was back to her old, not quite so vigorous, self but certainly not sitting at home bemoaning her fate. In fact, about 10 days after the operation she was at her great niece's wedding. </p>
<p>One of my brothers was remarrying a few months after that, (after 30 plus years of being on his own) and badly wanted TM to be at his wedding...this was before the pacemaker insertion. </p>
<p>The Matriarch originally didn't want to go because she tired very easily and as she said to me,</p>
<p>"I don't want to suddenly drop dead during the wedding and spoil everyone's fun." </p>
<p>Which was very thoughtful of her, I suppose, that particular scenario hadn’t occurred to us. Since the pacemaker, however, TM felt so much better and announced she'd be at the wedding with bells on! She bought a new outfit for the occasion and looked forward to catching up with other family members. </p>
<p>Everything went off very well and she had a wonderful time... without spoiling the wedding with her sudden demise.</p>
<p><em>Robyn is writing a series on her 97-year-old mother (aka The Matriarch). <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/2017/04/robyn-lee-on-her-97-year-old-mother/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Read part one here.</span></strong></a> </em></p>
