"I couldn't breathe or talk": Natalie Bassingthwaighte opens up on her breakdown
<p>Natalie Bassingthwaighte has opened up about the six-week breakdown she suffered last year and her road to recovery.</p>
<p>In a new interview with <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/lifestyle/stellar/why-natalie-bassingthwaighte-is-grateful-for-her-breakdown/news-story/87306c5bbb7dcae09b459c7d2291edc5" target="_blank"><em>Stellar Magazine</em></a>, the actor and singer revealed her epiphany began when she woke up feeling “frozen” in March last year. </p>
<p>“I couldn’t breathe or talk,” Bassingthwaighte revealed.</p>
<p>The night before, she was speaking to a colleague about their “full-on” work schedules. “We started talking about our kids and she said, ‘My son hates me; I’m always working’. Even though it may have been said in jest, it really hit me,” Bassingthwaighte recalled.</p>
<p>“The next morning, I couldn’t breathe. It was terrifying. I was curled up in a ball. That lasted six weeks.”</p>
<p>Bassingthwaighte said her breakdown could partially be explained by the precarious nature of her chosen career. Since her breakthrough in 1998 as a cast member of the musical <em>Rent</em>, Bassingthwaighte has continued to explore various paths in the entertainment industry, including acting (<em>Neighbours</em>, <em>The Wrong Girl</em>, <em>Underbelly</em>), music (dance band Rogue Traders) and talent show roles (<em>So You Think You Can Dance Australia, The X Factor</em>).</p>
<p>In 2017, she agreed to appear on <em>I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!</em> after a long deliberation. At first, she asked casting agents if it would ruin her career: “I thought I might not be taken seriously again.”</p>
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<p>She added, “Financially, it had been quiet… In this industry people don’t talk about that enough. I know one high-profile actor who told me he’d been living in his car. Sometimes you only work three months a year, but the perception is you’re rolling in it.</p>
<p>“There’s a lot of fear in this industry. There’s always this façade, but everyone feels crap about themselves sometimes. I don’t even think of myself as a celebrity; I’m a person who works in an industry I sometimes love and sometimes hate. I didn’t only do the show for money, but... you have to pay your bills.”</p>
<p>She was also affected by a four-year long grief that she buried following the death of her friend and longtime agent Mark Byrne, who passed away from a heart attack in 2014 at the age of 45, as well as another close friend who died by suicide.</p>
<p>“After Mark passed, I was always searching: ‘Who am I? What am I good at? What am I supposed to be doing?’ Not having that person to speak to five times a day has been challenging. I was so lost.”</p>
<p>In an interview with <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.marieclaire.com.au/natalie-bassingthwaighte-grief-breakdown" target="_blank"><em>Marie Claire</em></a> earlier in February, Bassingthwaighte described her breakdown as “a very scary and emotional time”. She said, “I didn’t want to see anybody. I took myself off social media and closed down my email. I was broken.”</p>
<p>The mother-of-two – daughter Harper, 8, and son, Hendrix, 6 – said she had her “defining moment” when she received an advance copy of a magazine, of which she was on the cover. At that point, she had spent almost six weeks “curled up, crying” and was booked in at an event to deliver a speech. </p>
<p>She cried after seeing the cover that she shot three months prior to the breakdown. </p>
<p>“I was so joyous and happy on the cover, and now I had tears running down my face,” she admitted. </p>
<p>“That was a defining moment for me. So, that’s how I started my speech. I said that we all think life is perfect, and it’s not.”</p>
<p>From then, she began building a routine to help her cope, including reiki, acupuncture, counselling, kinesiology and antidepressant medication.</p>
<p>“The truth is, I was taking a very small dose of antidepressants and had done for a long time – around 20 years. Every time I tried to come off them, it didn’t work. I would get really panicky,” she said. “I slowly built myself back up. I went back on medication, just a tiny bit, but it’s the thing that worked.”</p>
<p>The 43-year-old, who is married to the Rogue Traders' drummer, Cameron McGlinchley, also started dealing with her grief. </p>
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<p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx_zYFyHRcs/" target="_blank">A post shared by Natalie bassingthwaighte (@natbassingthwaighte)</a> on May 27, 2019 at 11:55pm PDT</p>
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<p>“I hadn’t processed it, I didn’t deal with it. So in a crazy way, I’m grateful [the breakdown] happened because I’m in the best place I’ve ever been. I’m more grounded. I feel more together. My priorities are in the right order. I feel like this evolution has happened in me.”</p>
<p>She also incorporated pilates, yoga and mediation into her schedule. </p>
<p>“I meditate every day,” she said. “It’s changed my life. I’m inspired. I’m a much better mum.”</p>
<p>If you are experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide, you can call Lifeline 131 114 or beyondblue 1300 224 636 or visit <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/" target="_blank">lifeline.org.au</a> or <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/national-help-lines-and-websites" target="_blank">beyondblue.org.au</a>.</p>