Search

Placeholder Content Image

"Rot in hell": Family of murdered paramedic speak out over ruling

<p>The man charged with murdering New South Wales paramedic Steven Tougher has been found not criminally responsible due to a mental health impairment, with Tougher's family "appalled" by the decision. </p> <p>In April 2023, Tougher, 29, was stabbed in a McDonald’s carpark by Jordan Fineanganofo, 23, in a frenzied attack at 5am in the Sydney suburb of Campbelltown. </p> <p>The father-to-be had been eating with a colleague when he was approached by Fineanganofo, who stabbed him 55 times and leaving 24 incised wounds. </p> <p>“I am going to f**king kill you,” Fineanganofo said to Mr Tougher, according to the agreed facts and court documents. </p> <p>Mr Tougher was rushed to hospital after the attack, but suffered a cardiac arrest and died at the hospital shortly after he arrived. </p> <p>Both the defence and the Crown prosecutor agreed the court could find Fineanganofo was not responsible because of his mental health issues, with Justice David Davies stating on Friday that he cannot be held criminal responsible. </p> <p>“I am satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt that the accused committed the psychical acts,” he said.</p> <p>“(I) find the accused was suffering from a mental impairment at the time he committed the acts”. </p> <p>Justice Davies found Fineanganofo had been suffering from a mental health impairment at the time of the attack and did not know the wrongness of his actions because of his illness.</p> <p>The court was told Fineanganofo experienced auditory hallucinations, increasing paranoia, and suicidal ideation before the deadly attack, as the 23-year-old told psychiatrists that he heard voices telling him to harm himself and others in the weeks leading up to the offences, and believed he was surrounded by malignant demons.</p> <p>As Justice Davies handed down his decision, Tougher's friends and family broke down in court. </p> <p>“You chose not to take your medication, you’re the demon,” one person shouted at Fineanganofo as he was taken into custody, while another person yelled, “Rot in hell, you dog.”</p> <p>Outside court, Mr Tougher’s father Jeff said the family were “appalled” with the outcome.</p> <p>“It is neither what we wanted nor what we expected,” he said. “Stephen has been lost in this deeply flawed and broken process.”</p> <p>The heartbroken father said the family “strongly oppose” the court's decision to agree to a finding of not criminally responsible, and they were “deeply offended” they were not consulted before the decision was made.</p> <p>Mr Tougher’s father said the family would be pushing for an inquest into the “deplorable” circumstances surrounding his son’s death. </p> <p>“We are damaged today, but we’re not broken. The system is broken, and as a family, we will be fighting for change,” he said. “My son will not be forgotten, nor will his death be dismissed.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

Legal

Placeholder Content Image

"Hardest year of my life": Prince William's candid admission

<p>Prince WIlliam has made a candid admission about his life this past year, following the double cancer diagnoses of his father King Charles and wife Kate Middleton. </p> <p>When asked how this year has been in an interview with UK print media in Cape Town during his trip to South Africa, the royal replied: “Honestly? It’s been dreadful.</p> <p>“It’s probably been the hardest year in my life.”</p> <p>The Prince of Wales, who took time off while Princess Kate was being treated added:  “So, trying to get through everything else and keep everything on track has been really difficult.</p> <p>“But I’m so proud of my wife, I’m proud of my father, for ­handling the things that they have done. But from a personal family point of view, it’s been, yeah, it’s been brutal.”</p> <p>While the King and Princess Kate have both issued statements about their health struggles, this is the first time William has spoken candidly on the subject. </p> <p>The Prince of Wales is in South Africa as part of Earthshot Week, and presented the Earthshot Prize Awards on November 6. </p> <p>When asked if his family had watched the live broadcast of the awards ceremony, he replied: “I don’t know yet. I haven’t clocked in with them yet but I hope they did.</p> <p>“But it’s interesting you say that, ’cause I couldn’t be less relaxed this year, so it’s very interesting you’re all seeing that. But it’s more a case of just crack on and you’ve got to keep going.</p> <p>“I enjoy my work and I enjoy pacing myself and keeping sure I have got time for my family too.”</p> <p>He also shared an update on his wife's condition saying that "she's doing well. Doing well". </p> <p><em>Image: Andrew Parsons/Kensington Palace/ Shutterstock Editorial</em></p> <p> </p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Elizabeth Hurley reunites with Shane Warne's kids

<p>Two years after Shane Warne's death, his ex-fiancé, Elizabeth Hurley has reunited with his three kids. </p> <p>Elizabeth and her son Damian Hurley, 22, caught up with Brooke Warne, 27, Jackson Warne, 25, and Summer Warne, 23, at Oaks Day.</p> <p>"Today deserves a double upload," Brooke captioned a series of photos with Warne's kids. </p> <p>"Special memories with this bunch, a special day with our special people!"</p> <p>In one photo, the 59-year-old actress had her arm around Brooke as the pair smiled for the camera. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DCEGMZMyMpD/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DCEGMZMyMpD/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by B R O O K E 🍿 W A R N E (@brookewarne)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Elizabeth and her son flew out to Australia for the race, with Damian opening up about how important the trip was for him in his own Instagram post. </p> <p>"My forever family ♥️ Coming back to Australia was always going to be hard. Part of me wanted to put it off forever, knowing that once here, the reality of SW’s passing would truly sink in," he wrote on Instagram. </p> <p>"Now, being back in this beautiful place which I was once lucky enough to call home, I’m overwhelmed with more love than I’ll ever be able to put into words. My heart is full." </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DCEsxMxviXc/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DCEsxMxviXc/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Damian Hurley (@damianhurley1)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Brooke also shared a video on her Instagram stories with Damian, with the caption: "Baby brother, missed you." </p> <p>Elizabeth and Shane were together from 2010-2013 and they got engaged in 2011. </p> <p>The former couple often made appearances together at race days, including Royal Ascot in the UK and the 2011 Melbourne Cup Carnival. </p> <p>Despite their split, Shane and Elizabeth stayed good friends. </p> <p>On Tuesday, the actress opened up about how "bittersweet" it was to be back in Australia. </p> <p>"Bittersweet to be back in Melbourne - home to so many memories. Thank you @flemingtonvrc for inviting me and my son. We had a beautiful day," she wrote. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

"Mum grew great dope": Son's hilariously honest tribute goes viral

<p>Two brothers from Sydney have made headlines around the world for their hilarious tribute to their late mother. </p> <p>Sean and Chris Kelly wrote a death notice for their mum Jennifer Ann Kelly when she passed away aged 88 on Monday last week. </p> <p>“Farewell Jennie Kelly, our wild and wayward mother,”  the notice which was posted in the Sydney Morning Herald began. </p> <p>Jennifer Ann lived most of her life outside Nimbin and The Channon in northern NSW until she moved to a nursing home in Turramurra 18 months ago. </p> <p>Her sons' tribute has triggered a call for more honesty about death as they opened up about their unconventional upbringing.</p> <p>They revealed that their mum refused to say "passed" when someone died, believed exposing youth to religion was a form of child abuse, and "it was impossible to watch the news in her presence due to her vocal outrage."</p> <p>And while the two brothers had spent most of their lives "compensating for our upbringing", their mother's "rare attempts at 'responsible' parenting or grandparenting were always touching". </p> <p>They also added: “Mum grew great dope, never wanted to leave a party and gave up champagne or gin frequently, but never simultaneously.”</p> <p>“News on what’s next to follow. Bring a shovel," they ended the notice. </p> <p>Their good-humoured grief and honesty gained global attention after it was posted on Reddit. It was also included in British outlet<em> The Independent </em>and <em>US People Magazine</em>.</p> <p>“Your mum sounds phenomenal. The amazing tribute has reached thousands of people in the UK,” one Reddit user said. </p> <p>“I wish I’d known Jenny, she sounds wonderful. Thank you for a wonderful obituary – clearly Jenny lived until she died,” added another. </p> <p>Others praised their candidness, with one saying: “[It’s] honest, as opposed to all those people who suddenly become heroes/Mother Teresa when they die.”</p> <p>In an interview with <em>7NEWS</em> Sean admitted that the unconventional obituary was a first for him. </p> <p>“I’d never done a death notice, I’d never really looked at them,” he said.</p> <p>“I swear I spent less than four minutes on that.”</p> <p>He added that he wasn't even sure it would be published, and “the next thing I knew, the day after, someone said ‘I think we heard someone on the radio talking about your mother this morning’.” </p> <p>“She would say that she was mortified, but all my friends tell me she would be absolutely delighted at the attention.”</p> <p>Jennie leaves behind her two sons and three grandchildren. </p> <p><em>Images: 7News/ SMH</em></p> <p> </p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

When a baby is stillborn, grandparents are hit with ‘two lots of grief’. Here’s how we can help

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jane-lockton-811825">Jane Lockton</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/clemence-due-100240">Clemence Due</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/melissa-oxlad-811406">Melissa Oxlad</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a></em></p> <p><a href="https://www.stillbirthcre.org.au/resources/stillbirth-facts/">Six babies</a> are stillborn every day in Australia. This significant loss <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1744165X12001023">affects parents</a> for years to come, often the rest of their lives. However, stillbirth also affects many others, including grandparents.</p> <p>But until now, we have not heard the experiences of grandparents whose grandchildren are stillborn. Their grief was rarely acknowledged and there are few supports tailored to them.</p> <p>Our recently published <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31387781">research</a> is the first in the world to specifically look at grandmothers’ experience of stillbirth and the support they need.</p> <p>In Australia, a baby <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0037109">is defined as</a> stillborn when it dies in the womb from 20 weeks’ gestation, or weighs more than 400 grams. Other countries have slightly different definitions.</p> <p><a href="https://www.stillbirthcre.org.au/resources/stillbirth-facts/">About 2,200</a> babies are stillborn each year here meaning stillbirth may be more common than many people think. And people <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(11)60107-4/fulltext">don’t tend to talk</a> about this openly despite it leading to significant grief.</p> <p>To explore grandparents’ experience of stillbirth, we interviewed 14 grandmothers for our initial study, and a further 23 grandmothers and grandfathers since then.</p> <p>Many grandparents were not aware stillbirth was a risk today. Most felt unprepared. Like parents, grandparents experienced grief like no other after their grandchild was stillborn.</p> <p>Rose said: "The grief is always there, it never leaves you […] I don’t know why but sometimes it is still very raw."</p> <p>Sally said: "I [would do] anything in my power to take it away, even if it meant, you know, something dreadful happening to me, I would have done it."</p> <p>Grandparents also spoke of anticipating the arrival of their grandchild, and disbelief at their loss.</p> <p>Donna said: "It was as bad as it could be and […] I thought it just couldn’t be real, it couldn’t be real."</p> <p>Where grandparents lived a long way from their child, the loss was even more profound. Distance prevented them from holding their grandchild after birth, attending memorials, or helping their own children.</p> <p>Iris said: "I still miss her now […] When she was born and they had her in the hospital they would text me and say you know she’s got hair like her daddy […] and they would describe her and how beautiful she was, and that’s all they have, you know […] that’s all I have really."</p> <p>Grandparents said they wanted to hide their grief to protect their child from pain. This often made them isolated. Their relationships with family members often changed.</p> <p>Mary said: "It’s like two lots of grief […] but I don’t want it to sound like it’s as bad as my daughter’s loss. It’s different, it’s a different grief, because you’re grieving the loss of a grandchild, and you’re also grieving for your daughter and her loss and it’s like yeah you’ve been kicked in the guts twice instead of once."</p> <h2>What grandparents wanted</h2> <p>Grandparents stressed the importance and ongoing value of being involved in “memory making” and spending time with their stillborn grandchild where possible.</p> <p>Creating mementos, such as taking photos and making footprints and hand prints, were all important ways of expressing their grief. These mementos kept the baby “alive” in the family. They were also a way to ensure their own child knew the baby was loved and remembered.</p> <p>Our research also identified better ways to support grandparents. Grandparents said that if they knew more about stillbirth, they would be more confident in knowing how to help support their children. And if people were more aware of grandparents’ grief, and acknowledged their loss, this would make it easier for them to get support themselves, and reduce feelings of isolation.</p> <p>Our research also found families can recognise that grandparents grieve too, for both their child and grandchild. Grandparents can be encouraged to seek support from other family and friends. Families could also encourage grandparents to seek support from professionals if needed.</p> <p>In hospitals, midwives can adopt some simple, time efficient strategies, with a big impact on grandparents. With parent consent, midwives could include grandparents in memory making activities.</p> <p>By acknowledging the connection grandparents have to the baby, midwives can validate the grief that they experience. In recognising the supportive role of grandparents, midwives can also provide early guidance about how best to support their child.</p> <p>Hospitals can help by including grandparents in the education provided after stillbirth. This might include guidance about support for their child, or simply providing grandparents with written resources and guiding them to appropriate supports.</p> <p>In time, development of peer support programs, where grandparents support others in similar situations, could help.</p> <p>And, as a community, we can support grandparents the same way they support their own children. We can be there, listen and learn.</p> <hr /> <p><em>All grandparents’ names in this article are pseudonyms.</em></p> <p><em>If this article raises issues for you or someone you know, contact <a href="http://www.sands.org.au">Sands</a> (stillbirth and newborn death support) on 1300 072 637. Sands also has <a href="https://www.sands.org.au/images/sands-creative/brochures/127517-For-Grandparents-Brochure.pdf">written information specifically for grandparents</a> of stillborn babies.</em><!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/122313/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jane-lockton-811825">Jane Lockton</a>, PhD Candidate (Psychology, Health), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/clemence-due-100240">Clemence Due</a>, Senior Lecturer in the School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/melissa-oxlad-811406">Melissa Oxlad</a>, Lecturer in the School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/when-a-baby-is-stillborn-grandparents-are-hit-with-two-lots-of-grief-heres-how-we-can-help-122313">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Filling the silences in family stories − how to think like a historian to uncover your family’s narrative

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/andrea-kaston-tange-1417052">Andrea Kaston Tange</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/macalester-college-2632">Macalester College</a></em></p> <p>Great-grandmothers. We all have them. But most of us will never know them except through glimpses of fading bits of paper: sepia photographs, recipe cards, letters in handwriting traced by a fountain pen dispensing cocoa-colored ink.</p> <p>What does it take to build coherent stories out of such tantalizing fragments of lives? I face this question routinely in my career as a <a href="https://www.macalester.edu/english/facultystaff/andreakastontange/">professor of 19th-century literature and culture</a>. Recently, I’ve turned that experience to writing a book about my own family.</p> <p>When I inherited my great-grandmother’s diary, a repurposed teacher’s planner in which she chronicled the family’s 1926 move from Michigan to Miami, I found a wedding portrait tucked inside. The angled profile showcases her youthful skin and a dress too elaborate for a Midwestern schoolteacher’s daily wear. It is easy to imagine that she took pleasure in inscribing her new name on the picture’s reverse: Faith Avery.</p> <p>I stared at her beautiful image for years, as if details of her satin gown could explain why a woman widowed in 1918 would, for the rest of her life, refuse to admit to having had that first husband and yet carefully preserve this portrait.</p> <p>And then, because archives have been at the center of my scholarly work, I turned to research. I located marriage records and draft cards, pored over maps, found family members in censuses and obituaries. Within those documents lay answers both surprising and poignant.</p> <p>What did I look for? How might anyone with a half-told family story begin to uncover more truths? And what does it take to make sense of them?</p> <h2>The digging</h2> <p>Questions that begin with “why” can rarely be answered easily. Researchers thus often prefer to start with “who” and “when” and “how,” locating a person in one spot and then tracing them through time. This adventure down a rabbit hole follows a method.</p> <p>Make a list of unknowns. These may be facts or enticing tidbits of incomplete family lore. My mother, trying to be helpful, told me things like, “Faith always said there was a horse thief in the family, but she was too mortified to reveal his name” and “I think Aunt Harriette (Faith’s sister) was married once briefly.”</p> <p>Do precise, not general, searches. Typing “horse thief Avery” into Google yields nothing useful, but many other sources contain rich information about old-fashioned exploits. The New York Public Library’s <a href="https://www.nypl.org/blog/2019/03/25/genealogy-guide-books">guide for family research</a> introduces some options. The <a href="https://www.loc.gov/pictures/">Library of Congress print and photograph collection</a> can also help you envision your ancestors’ world. Physical libraries contain historic photographs, maps, local records and digitized newspapers not available online. Historical societies and state universities typically allow free, in-person use of their collections.</p> <p>Know that sometimes you will fail and need to change course. I spent several days looking for the horse thief to no avail, much to my mother’s disappointment. But when I turned to Aunt Harriette’s marriage, I found a character no less fascinating, one I now think of as “Four Wives Frank.”</p> <p>Read old documents knowing they were produced by a patchwork of individuals who took information on trust. The handwritten birth, death, marriage and <a href="https://www.archives.gov/research/census/about">census records</a> of past centuries relied on self-reported data that required no verification. They can be plagued by carelessness in the name of efficiency.</p> <p>One hurried census-taker recorded Faith’s mother Cara as “Cora,” another renamed her brother Horace “Harris.” Frank offered up a variety of birth years, countries of origin and maiden names for his mother as he worked his way west. He must have been charming. Who but a charming man could have convinced woman after woman to marry him, each thinking she was, at most, his second wife? Marriage register officers and census-takers, not to mention his trail of brides, were none the wiser.</p> <p>Which leads me to this: Cross-check information. I knew I had the right Frank because he had the same three sons in multiple records. Inconsistencies across those records, in conjunction with the trajectory of his life, made this conclusion inevitable: The man purposefully reinvented himself.</p> <h2>The assembly</h2> <p>My academic work has taught me that most <a href="https://doi.org/10.2979/victorianstudies.63.2.02">archival answers lead to more questions</a>. As a result, I expect multiple phases of collecting. I gathered everything I could find about Faith’s early life, in hopes something might explain her reticence about her first marriage. As her story emerged, I periodically hit holes in the narrative that sent me back for more digging.</p> <p>Understanding people is easier if you are familiar with their world. For background, I read histories of Miami in the 1920s and researched details in Faith’s diary that might reveal her personality or motivations. Exploring her reading lists showed me a woman who enjoyed popular entertainment, such as 1926’s blockbuster “<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0016598/">Aloma of the South Seas</a>.” Primers of <a href="https://libraryguides.missouri.edu/pricesandwages/1920-1929">1920s wages and prices</a> explained the family’s economic worries.</p> <p>As I got to know Faith, I revisited documents with new questions. To figure out whether Harriette’s husband Frank had anything to do with Faith, I made timelines for both sisters. To ponder the emotional underpinnings of those events, I reread Faith’s diary, paying particular attention to entries about Harriette and about Faith’s second husband.</p> <p>Because every pile of documents contains multiple stories, the key to a coherent narrative is locating a through line that addresses the biggest conundrums while identifying the tangents. I let go of the horse thief.</p> <h2>The results</h2> <p>The detective-style plots of what I call “<a href="https://www.writersdigest.com/be-inspired/lilly-dancyger-memoir-as-detective-novel">investigative memoir</a>” may inspire you to do your own family research. Genealogy sites such as <a href="https://www.ancestry.com/">Ancestry.com</a> and <a href="https://www.familysearch.org/en/united-states/">FamilySearch.org</a> can help.</p> <p>But it’s worth remembering that secondary reading will add richness to any family story. And local librarians are extraordinary at helping patrons navigate the search process.</p> <p>Improbable as it might seem, Four Wives Frank helped me understand the extent of Faith’s secrets and that she harbored them in hopes that her children’s lives would be easier. Such self-sacrifices are common for mothers. And yet, their particulars are as individual as the faintly silvered portrait of the soft young woman who married Harold Avery in 1911, and whose story requires an entire book to tell properly.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/234341/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/andrea-kaston-tange-1417052">Andrea Kaston Tange</a>, Professor of English, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/macalester-college-2632">Macalester College</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/filling-the-silences-in-family-stories-how-to-think-like-a-historian-to-uncover-your-familys-narrative-234341">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

John Farnham spotted with family in rare public appearance

<p>John Farnham has been spotted in a rare public outing at Coldplay's concert in Melbourne. </p> <p>The music legend was seen alongside his wife Jill and their two sons, Robert and James, at Marvel Stadium on Sunday to watch the British rockers on their tour around Australia. </p> <p>A heart-warming photo of the family was shared on Instagram by Robert, who captioned the snap, "We were guests of @coldplay last night at Marvel Arena."</p> <p>"They were amazing. Was a pretty special night."</p> <p>With Farnham in the audience, Coldplay's frontman Chris Martin announced to the crowd, "Mr John Farnham’s in the building,” prompting huge cheers.</p> <p>The band then performed a call and response with the audience, singing the chorus of Farnham’s 1986 hit <em>You’re The Voice</em>.</p> <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: currentcolor !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: none; vertical-align: baseline; width: 600px; max-width: 100%; outline: currentcolor !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7431785816692673808&display_name=tiktok&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40leonsjogren%2Fvideo%2F7431785816692673808%3Flang%3Den%26q%3Dcoldplay%2520you%2527re%2520the%2520voice%26t%3D1730762516834&image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign-sg.tiktokcdn.com%2Ftos-alisg-p-0037%2FokJQIEjwILAGaREAgjlGoLCPg3AfOIOGrDleCe%7Etplv-dmt-logom%3Atos-alisg-i-0068%2FoAdQgCIIKHAABjn8SFwlEpEAGD3efXAjRACHBU.image%3Flk3s%3Db59d6b55%26x-expires%3D1730934000%26x-signature%3DsD967phpvU5baA%252B8Os3e67rKWa4%253D%26shp%3Db59d6b55%26shcp%3D-&key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p>James Farnham later posted a video of the special moment on Instagram, writing, "Coldplay’s little tribute to dad. Was pretty cool! Such a sick show!"</p> <p>Farnham’s legion of fans jumped on social media to react to the singer’s surprise appearance.</p> <p>“We were there and hearing that JF was in the house made my absolute year. Sssooo happy to see you all out and about enjoying life together. Please pass on my love,” one fan said.</p> <p>“Awww amazing, what a prestigious honour and none more deserving than The Farnhams! Glad to see you all have a wonderful night together,” added another.</p> <p>“Aw your dad looks amazing Rob! Bet you guys had a sensational time,” a third said.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram </em></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Sam Frost shares sweet family update

<p>Sam Frost has shared an exciting family update with her partner and <em>Survivor </em>star Jordie Hansen on Instagram.</p> <p>The former <em>Home and Away</em> actress announced she is expecting her second child with a picture of the family and her growing baby bump on Monday. </p> <p>“Our family is growing from three to four 💚,” she captioned the post.</p> <p>“It has been a wild ride but we are extremely grateful our little one is healthy and doing okay in there. We are all very excited to meet you, especially your big brother!</p> <p>“Huge thank you to our family and friends for all their love and support over these past few months. We love you xxxx.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DB79aWkv3hk/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DB79aWkv3hk/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Sam Frost (@samfrost)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Fellow TV icons were quick to comment and congratulate the couple on their growing family. </p> <p>“Congratulations honey!! ❤️❤️,” 7NEWS journalist Abbey Gelmi wrote.</p> <p>“👏👏👏congratulations!!!,” commented <em>Bachelor</em> star Anna Heinrich.</p> <p>"Such beautiful news Sam, and so very happy for you. Huge congrats.❤️❤️❤️❤️xx," added Lisa Wilkinson.</p> <p>"Oh girlllll! This is beautiful news. So happy for you all. Ted is going to be the best big brother ever 🥹 💚," added <em>Gogglebox </em>star Angie Kent.</p> <p>Frost, who rose to fame on <em>The Bachelor </em>after becoming Australia's first Bachelorette, began dating Jordie in early 2022, and a few months later the pair announced their engagement. </p> <p>They welcomed their first child together, their son Theodore, in March 2023. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Readers response: Have you ever seen or met a member of the royal family during one of their visits?

<p>When the royal family make one of their special, dedicated visits to Australia, some royal fans are lucky enough to catch a glimpse, or even have an interaction with them. </p> <p>We asked our readers if they have ever seen or met a member of the royal family, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Mike Rogerson</strong> - I saw the Queen and Prince Phillip on the Princes Highway at Blakehurst, NSW. They were on their way to Wollongong, NSW. We were a group of Blakehurst primary school children on the side of the road in 1954. I was eight at the time.</p> <p><strong>Lorraine Strand</strong> - First saw the Queen when the country school kids travelled by train to Adelaide. Then again in Darwin, when she was visiting houses built after Cyclone Tracy. On a more recent visit by the royals, my husband and I attended the same St Paul’s Anglican Church Service in Canberra as the Queen and Prince Phillip.</p> <p><strong>Annette Maree</strong> - I saw the Queen when she was driven past my house in the 1960’s. She was stunning. I clearly remember her wave, her smile, and her “peaches and cream” complexion. It was one of those flashbulb moments that stays in your mind forever.</p> <p><strong>Glenda Grange</strong> - Yes in 1983 I saw Diana and Charles. They attended a royal command performance in Melbourne. I received a formal gilt edge invitation and was one person away from them. I was invited as a bush fire victim of Ash Wednesday.</p> <p><strong>Elaine Smith</strong> - I haven’t but my mum and grandpa did, in 1954 when she came to our small country town of Red Cliffs, VIC. My grandpa and mum were on a special platform with aged residents of country towns, even got to shake hands with her. I was in the crowd with my girl guide group.</p> <p><strong>Gary Johnson</strong> - 1970 when I was in first year high school we went to Perth airport to see Prince Phillip arrive. I had a school blazer on and Prince Phillip came over and asked what school I was from. If it wasn't for my mum forcing me to wear it, I wouldn't have that great memory.</p> <p><strong>Janice Yvonne Colman</strong> - Not in Australia, but in the UK when they passed by our village on way to a county close by. My brother &amp; I got the royal waves as we stood on the side of the road! We were quite thrilled as we were only 14 &amp; 12 at the time.</p> <p><strong>Jean Bryant</strong> - I saw Princess Margaret back in the 50's when she visited a British Air Force base in Germany.</p> <p><strong>Ian Hewitt</strong> - Yes! At NSW Government house in 1992. It was an honour to us to personally meet their majesties.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Domestic Travel

Placeholder Content Image

How are racehorses really treated in the ‘sport of kings’?

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cathrynne-henshall-572585">Cathrynne Henshall</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a></em></p> <p>It’s the time of year when shiny horses and colourful clothing fill our screens – the <a href="https://www.racing.com/spring-racing">Spring Racing Carnival</a>, which includes high profile races like The Everest, Melbourne Cup and Cox Plate.</p> <p>It’s also the time of year when questions are asked about the welfare of racehorses that compete in the so-called “<a href="https://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/horse/how-we-shaped-horses-how-horses-shaped-us/sport/sport-of-kings#:%7E:text=Thoroughbred%20racing%20began%20around%20300,Asia%2C%20and%20the%20Middle%20East.">sport of kings</a>”.</p> <p>Previously, <a href="https://www.news.com.au/sport/superracing/punters-life/how-many-horses-have-died-in-the-melbourne-cup-the-real-numbers/news-story/5f7e29011a7fbf3da9e0611e902d1ee6">high profile deaths during races</a>, the <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0015622">use of whips</a> and <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-02-17/making-a-killing/6127124">what happens to horses after racing</a> have been the focus of community concern.</p> <p>But recently, as we’ve come to know more about what makes a <a href="https://www.worldhorsewelfare.org/advice/welfare-wednesdays/how-to-provide-a-good-life-for-horses-friends-freedom-and-forage">good life for a horse</a>, questions are being raised about the daily lives of racehorses.</p> <p>Industry participants will point to the <a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/dont-tell-me-the-horse-racing-industry-doesnt-care/">high level care</a> that racehorses receive – comfortable stables, specially formulated diets, the latest vet treatments and added extras such as massages and swimming sessions.</p> <p>But does this care translate into good welfare?</p> <h2>The theory of ‘telos’</h2> <p>Firstly, a quick primer on the difference between care and welfare.</p> <p>Care includes all the things that make sure racehorses get fit, stay fit and stay healthy. This care helps maximise the chance a horse will win races.</p> <p>Welfare is the animal’s subjective or individual experience of its life – <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33066335/">how it feels</a> – and there are a number of ways to assess this.</p> <p>One way is the concept of “telos”, originally developed by Ancient Greek philosopher <a href="https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/aristotle-causality/">Aristotle</a>.</p> <p>Telos is a <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10806-012-9422-y">species’ anatomical, physiological, behavioural and cognitive characteristics</a> that have been shaped by millions of years of evolution.</p> <p>Telos helps us to identify what matters to animals – their behavioural, psychological and physiological needs.</p> <p>So to consider if racehorse care actually translates to good welfare, we can assess how closely it provides the animal with the things that matter to them, based on their telos.</p> <p>Equine telos involves living in groups, forming long-lived social relationships, grazing fibrous plants and being on the move for up to 18 hours a day, as well as staying safe by sensing danger and then moving away.</p> <p>It also involves living in variable environments to solve challenges, learn, engage in curiosity and play.</p> <p>Let’s compare that to the daily life of a racehorse.</p> <h2>Movement and feeding</h2> <p>Firstly, the vast majority of racehorses live in stables – sometimes up to 23 hours a day.</p> <p><a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17970632/">Multiple studies</a> have found continuous stabling harms horse welfare.</p> <p>Stables significantly restrict opportunities for voluntary movement, and studies show stabled horses spend <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37813129/">the majority of the time inactive</a>.</p> <p>Even though stables house horses communally, most designs limit horses’ opportunities for social interaction.</p> <p>Thirdly, there’s little for a horse to do in a stable other than eat, stand, drink or lie, and they often develop <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34670688/">abnormal behaviours</a> that are associated with stress. These are never seen in free-ranging horses.</p> <p>When racehorses do get to move, they have little say over how far, how fast and for how long they move.</p> <p>The kinds of physical exercise racehorses do are both significantly shorter in duration and at much higher speeds than horses voluntarily choose. It’s those speeds that place them at <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17910268/">risk of suffering a serious injury</a>.</p> <p>What about diet?</p> <p>Although a lot of time and effort is spent ensuring racehorses enjoy high quality diets, they are mostly comprised of concentrated energy sources such as grains, rather the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10135103/">fibre horses evolved to eat</a>.</p> <p>Horses are <a href="https://madbarn.com/slow-feeders-for-horses/#:%7E:text=Horses%20are%20trickle%20feeders%20that,to%2025%20miles%20per%20day.">trickle feeders</a> (grazers), with small stomachs that continuously secrete digestive juices.</p> <p>In the wild, grazing keeps those stomachs full, which prevents the stomach lining from being damaged by digestive acids.</p> <p>In comparison, racehorses often consume their food very quickly – instead of spending up to 75% of their day eating, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/B9780702026348500137">they spend only 33%</a>.</p> <p>This means their stomachs are empty for most of the day, which is why up to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37048517/">65% will get painful gastric ulcers</a>.</p> <p>And having to wait to be fed rather than eating when hungry, as happens in free-ranging horses, <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2076-2615/3/3/663">can lead to frustration</a>.</p> <h2>Other difficulties</h2> <p>Racehorses <a href="https://www.theage.com.au/national/does-whipping-hurt-race-horses-20211102-p595br.html">may be whipped</a>, and <a href="https://beva.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.2042-3306.1982.tb02389.x">more than 50% </a> will experience some form of musculoskeletal injury during racing, of which between <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2076-2615/11/2/270">7-49% are fatal</a>.</p> <p>Social relationships, in the limited form possible in a racing stable, are also frequently disrupted because horse populations are highly transient due to spelling, <a href="https://theconversation.com/black-caviars-death-has-prompted-uncomfortable-questions-about-how-champion-mares-spend-their-retirement-237039">retirement</a> or even just going to the races.</p> <p>So even if two horses are able to form a relationship of sorts, chances are one will be taken away. <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=henshall+stress+repeated&amp;size=200">Separation distress is a significant stressor</a> for horses.</p> <p>Then there’s the gear that’s used to control them.</p> <p>Horses, like most animal species, escape and avoid painful stimuli.</p> <p>However, in racing (and many other equestrian activties) it is <a href="https://www.racingnsw.com.au/wp-content/uploads/NSWRules.pdf">mandatory to use</a> “bits” to control horses’ behaviour during riding and handling. Bits work by causing uncomfortable pressure and pain and may lead to mouth injuries.</p> <p>Studies have shown many people don’t understand how <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08927936.2023.2166713#abstract">to minimise the harm they can cause</a>. In addition, people also vary widely in their ability to read and <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2076-2615/9/12/1124">interpret behavioural responses to stress</a>.</p> <p>So, racehorses may be repeatedly exposed to pain from bits and perform a range of behaviours to try to escape that pain, like bolting, mouth opening or head tossing.</p> <p>To remedy this, additional items of restrictive equipment, such as <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34056705/">tongue ties</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/dressing-up-for-melbourne-cup-day-from-a-racehorse-point-of-view-104771">nosebands, lugging bits or bit burs</a> may be used to control the horse.</p> <p>Racehorses frequently show signs of difficulty coping with the stressors of racing life, including “going off their feed”, aggression towards handlers, becoming hard to control when ridden and a range of stress behaviours and health issues, <a href="https://avmajournals.avma.org/downloadpdf/view/journals/javma/260/15/javma.22.08.0358.pdf">such as bleeding from the lungs</a>.</p> <h2>What about welfare?</h2> <p>Racehorse care is often directed towards managing issues that are the direct result of the demands of the racing environment.</p> <p>Fancy stables and aqua sessions are not important to horses, and may even cause harm.</p> <p>What matters to horses are opportunities to make meaningful choices, such as the freedom to move, form friendships and graze for the majority of the day.</p> <p>Current racing industry practices often deny horses the chance to make these choices.</p> <p>There’s no doubt people in racing care deeply about their horses. But to experience good welfare during racing, racehorses need more than just good care.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/240998/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cathrynne-henshall-572585">Cathrynne Henshall</a>, Post-doctoral Fellow, School of Agricultural, Environmental and Veterinary Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-are-racehorses-really-treated-in-the-sport-of-kings-240998">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

How do children learn good manners?

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sophia-waters-501831">Sophia Waters</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a></em></p> <p>Ensuring kids have manners is a <a href="https://tidsskrift.dk/sss/article/view/135074">perennial preoccupation</a> for parents and caregivers.</p> <p>How, then, do you teach good manners to children?</p> <p>Modelling good manners around the home and in your own interaction with others is obviously crucial.</p> <p>But there’s a clear <a href="https://tidsskrift.dk/sss/article/view/135074">uniting theme</a> when it comes to manners in Australia: in Australian English, good manners centre on honouring personal autonomy, egalitarianism and not appearing to tell people what to do.</p> <h2>Which manners matter most in Australia?</h2> <p>Some of the most important manners in Australian English are behavioural edicts that focus on particular speech acts: greeting, requesting, thanking and apologising.</p> <p>These speech acts have a <a href="https://tidsskrift.dk/sss/article/view/135074/179857">set of words</a> associated with them:</p> <ul> <li>hello</li> <li>hi</li> <li>may I please…?</li> <li>could I please…?</li> <li>thank you</li> <li>ta</li> <li>sorry</li> <li>excuse me.</li> </ul> <p>Good manners make people feel comfortable in social situations by adding predictability and reassurance.</p> <p>They can act as signposts in interactions. Anglo cultures place a lot of weight on <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216612001014">egalitarianism</a>, personal autonomy and ensuring we don’t <a href="https://www.google.com.au/books/edition/English/d-d5AAAAIAAJ?hl=en">tell people what to do</a>.</p> <p>If you want to get someone to do something for you – pass you a pen, for example – you frame the request as a question to signal that you’re not telling them what to do.</p> <p>You’ll also add one of the main characters in Anglo politeness: the magic word, “<a href="https://www.academia.edu/20312114/Lige_a_Danish_magic_word_An_ethnopragmatic_analysis">please</a>”.</p> <p>This framing recognises you don’t expect or demand compliance. You’re acknowledging the other person as an autonomous individual who can do what they want.</p> <p>If the person does the thing you’ve asked, the next step is to say “thank you” to recognise the other person’s autonomy. You’re acknowledging they didn’t have to help just because you asked.</p> <h2>The heavy hitters</h2> <p>The words “please” and “thank you” are such heavy hitters in Australian English good manners, they’re two of the words that language learners and migrants <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/epdf/10.1080/10408340308518247?needAccess=true">learn first</a>.</p> <p>They can help soften the impact of your words. Think, for example, of the difference between “no” and “no, thank you”.</p> <p>Of course, there are times when “no” is a full sentence. But what if someone offered you a cup of tea and you replied “no” without its concomitant “thank you” to soften your rejection and acknowledge this offer didn’t have to be made? Don’t be surprised if they think you sound a bit rude.</p> <p>The other big players in Australian English good manners are “sorry” and “excuse me”. Much like in <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BZ1Eid0gnLV/">British English</a>, the Australian “sorry” means many things.</p> <p>These can preface an intrusion on someone’s personal space, like before squeezing past someone in the cinema, or on someone’s speaking turn.</p> <p>Interrupting or talking over someone else is often heavily frowned on in Australian English because it is often interpreted as disregarding what the other person has to say.</p> <p>But in some cultures, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0346251X14001365">such as French</a>, this conversational style is actively encouraged. And some languages and cultures <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S038800011830069X?via%3Dihub">have different conventions</a> around what good manners look like around strangers versus with family.</p> <p>Good manners involve saying certain words in predictable contexts.</p> <p>But knowing what these are and when to use them demonstrates a deeper cultural awareness of what behaviours are valued.</p> <h2>How do children learn manners?</h2> <p>As part of my <a href="https://tidsskrift.dk/sss/article/view/135074">research</a>, I’ve analysed parenting forum posts about “good manners”. Some believe good manners should be effortless; one parent said:</p> <blockquote> <p>Good manners shouldn’t be something that a child has to think about […] teach them correctly at home from day one, manners become an integral part of the way they view things.</p> </blockquote> <p>Another forum user posited good modelling was the key, saying:</p> <blockquote> <p>the parent has to lead by example, rather than forcing a child to say one or the other.</p> </blockquote> <p>One <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38777043/">study</a>, which involved analysis of more than 20 hours of videorecorded family dinner interactions collected in Italy, found mealtimes are also sites where parents control their children’s conduct “through the micro-politics of good manners.”</p> <blockquote> <p>By participating in mealtime interactions, children witness and have the chance to acquire the specific cultural principles governing bodily conduct at the table, such as ‘sitting properly’, ‘eating with cutlery’, and ‘chewing with mouth closed’.</p> <p>Yet, they are also socialised to a foundational principle of human sociality: one’s own behavior must be self-monitored according to the perspective of the generalised Other.</p> </blockquote> <p>In Australian English, that means regulating your behaviour to make sure you don’t do something that could be seen as “rude”. As I argued in a 2012 <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378216612000410">paper</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>While child socialisation in Anglo culture involves heavy discouragement of rudeness, French does not have a direct equivalent feature […] French children are taught <em>ça ne se fait pas</em>, ‘that is not done’. Where the French proscribe the behaviours outright, the Anglos […] appeal to the image one has of oneself in interpersonal interactions.</p> </blockquote> <p>In Anglo English, the penalties for breaches could be other people’s disapproval and hurting their feelings.</p> <h2>Why are good manners important?</h2> <p>Good manners affect our interactions with others and help us build positive relationships.</p> <p>Fourteenth century English bishop and educator, William of Wykeham, declared that “<a href="https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803100131244#:%7E:text=Manners%20maketh%20man%20proverbial%20saying,Winchester%20and%20chancellor%20of%20England">manners maketh the man</a>”.</p> <p>John Hopkins University Professor <a href="https://ii.library.jhu.edu/2018/12/11/in-memory-of-p-m-forni-the-case-for-civility-in-the-classroom-and-beyond/">Pier Forni</a> called them a “precious life-improvement tool.”</p> <p>The “Good Manners” <a href="https://education.qld.gov.au/about-us/history/history-topics/good-manners-chart">chart</a>, based on a set of rules devised by the Children’s National guild of Courtesy in UK primary schools in 1889, was issued to Queensland primary schools until the 1960s.</p> <p>It tells kids to remember the golden rule to “always do to others as you would wish them to do to you if you were in their place.”</p> <p>Good manners form part of the bedrock for human sociality. Childhood is when we give kids foundational training on interacting with others and help them learn how to be a culturally competent member of a society.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/237133/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sophia-waters-501831">Sophia Waters</a>, Senior Lecturer in Writing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-do-children-learn-good-manners-237133">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

School apologises for removing memorial after girl's suicide

<p>Santa Sabina College has apologised after removing a makeshift memorial to honour the life of 12-year-old Charlotte O'Brien, who took her own life after years of alleged bullying at the school. </p> <p>The year 7 student died in September after being bullied at the Catholic school in the inner-west Sydney suburb of Strathfield.</p> <p>Following her tragic death, Charlotte's family created a memorial near the school, only for it to be removed days later, leaving her loved ones devastated.</p> <p>Principal Paulina Skerman initially defended the decision to remove the memorial, citing advice from mental health experts at Headspace, saying, "On the advice of mental health experts including Headspace, who are working with the College, we removed the memorial because of the concerns that were raised about the impact this could have on other young people."</p> <p>However, 2GB radio host Ben Fordham challenged her reasoning and reached out to Headspace, who said they gave no such advice to the school principal. </p> <p>"Headspace did not recommend Santa Sabina or Paulina Skerman remove the memorial dedicated to Charlotte. To say that they did is a straight-out lie," Fordham told his listeners.</p> <p>He added, "It never ever happened. Headspace did not advise Paulina Skerman or anyone at Santa Sabina to take it down."</p> <p>After Fordham's revelations, the school issued an apology on Monday, saying, "We are devastated for Charlotte's family and friends, and we acknowledge that some of the college's initial statements to the media were inadequate and hurtful."</p> <p>"We apologise to Charlotte's family for this. It was never our intention to add to their pain. We acknowledge that, at times, our efforts have fallen short, and we are sincerely sorry."</p> <p>"The choice to remove the public memorial was a difficult one, balancing the desire to honor Charlotte's memory with our responsibility to prevent further distress to students."</p> <p>"Ms Skerman was grateful to visit Charlotte's parents, Kelly and Matt, to apologise to them personally. We are committed to working together to create a permanent memorial to remember Charlotte. She will not be forgotten."</p> <p><em><strong>Need to talk to someone? Don't go it alone.</strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit <a href="http://lifeline.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-stringify-link="http://lifeline.org.au" data-sk="tooltip_parent">lifeline.org.au</a></strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636</strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>SANE: 1800 187 263 or visit <a href="http://saneforums.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-stringify-link="http://saneforums.org" data-sk="tooltip_parent">saneforums.org</a></strong></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: 7News / Facebook</em></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

King and Queen of Spain attacked during royal visit

<p>The king and queen of Spain have been attacked by furious locals during a tour of the flood-ravaged area of Valencia. </p> <p id="story-headline">King Felipe VI and Queen Letizia were met by an angry mob who have been dealing with the fallout of deadly flooding that has killed 217 people, with another 1,900 missing. </p> <p>Accompanied by Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez, the royal couple arrived in Paiporta on Sunday, when a crowd of hundreds descended.</p> <p>The crowd began to throw mud, rocks, sticks and rubbish at the group while screaming “murderer” and “shame”, with much of the vitriol seeming to be directed as the Spanish leader.</p> <p>The royals were struck with some of the debris, with vision showing the couple’s faces and clothing dirtied with mud.</p> <p>“It’s been four days, where have you been?” one onlooker yelled at the king. “You’ve just come here to pose for pictures. You have no shame.”</p> <p>Another screamed at a visibly frightened Queen Letizia, “You lack for nothing while we here don’t even have water to drink.”</p> <p>According to reports, security tried to whisk the royals away to safety but King Felipe insisted they stay and continue speaking with those who wanted to, with the couple later seen consoling survivors, with one man crying on the king’s shoulder. </p> <p>As they eventually got into their car to leave, a policeman shouted “long live the king”, which was met with howls of “guillotine” by some of the protesters.</p> <p>In a statement issued by the palace hours after the melee, it was announced a second visit by the king to nearby Chiva, another flood-affected town, had been called off.</p> <p>Juan Bordera, a local politician in Valencia, told the BBC that the king and queen’s tour was a “very bad decision”.</p> <p>“It’s logical that the people are angry, it’s logical that the people didn’t understand why this visit is so urgent,” Mr Bordera told the <em>BBC</em>.</p> <p><em>Image credits: GTres/Shutterstock Editorial </em></p>

Travel Trouble

Placeholder Content Image

Margot Robbie welcomes first child

<p>Margot Robbie has reportedly given birth to her first child with her husband, British filmmaker Tom Ackerley.</p> <p>According to <em>People</em>, the 34-year-old Australian actress gave birth to a baby boy on October 17 in Los Angeles. </p> <p>Her family is reportedly in the process of planning to travel out to the US.</p> <p>The actress known for her iconic roles in films like<em> I, Tonya, Wolf of Wall Street </em>and <em>Barbie</em>, has kept a low profile throughout her pregnancy, with friends and family also remaining tight-lipped on news of the baby.</p> <p>Ackerley was spotted carrying a box of nappies on the streets of LA on October 30, sparking speculation they had welcomed their baby. </p> <p>Robbie and Ackerley, met on the set of<em> Suite Française</em> in 2013, where he was an assistant director and she starred as Celine Joseph. </p> <p>They then married in December 2016 during a private ceremony in Byron Bay. </p> <p>Robbie's pregnancy was made public in July, with the couple enjoying a romantic babymoon to Sardinia, Italy a month later. </p> <p>The actress made her last red carpet appearance on September 9, when she attended the screening of the comedy movie she produced with her husband. </p> <p>Robbie has previously revealed how much she enjoys working with her husband. </p> <p>“I’m a great advocate of doing business with your partner,” she told <em>Porter </em>in 2018.</p> <p>“Being married is actually the most fun ever, life got way more fun somehow. I have a responsibility being someone’s wife, I want to be better." </p> <p><em>Image: CraSH/ Shutterstock Editorial</em></p> <p> </p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Investigation launched into deaths of two police dogs

<p>Detectives are investigating the deaths of two police dogs after they were found dead in a police vehicle in Sydney's south. </p> <p>Police dog Xtra and development dog Soldier had attended a development day with their handler in Lucas Heights.</p> <p>Authorities said the two German shepherds had been kept in air-conditioned pods in the police vehicle purpose-built for them. </p> <p>Their handler made the tragic discovery when they went to check on the dogs about 12.30pm on Thursday. </p> <p>“They were taken to a specialist veterinary clinic but were unable to be revived,” NSW Police said in a statement.</p> <p>An investigation overseen by detectives from the Sutherland Police Area Command and Fleet Services is now underway.</p> <p>Authorities did not reveal any information about how they died or whether there were problems with the vehicle. </p> <p>Commissioner Karen Webb paid tribute to the highly trained German shepherds, who were vital for officers serving the community. </p> <p>“Today is a very sad day for the Dog Unit and the thoughts of the whole police family are with them,” Webb said.</p> <p>“We owe it to PD Xtra and DD Soldier to conduct a thorough investigation.”</p> <p>Assistant Commissioner Stephen Hegarty said the loss would be felt deeply by the police officers. </p> <p>"Our focus is on the welfare of all staff involved with ongoing support services made available to them," he said.</p> <p>Xtra gained accreditation as a general-purpose dog  in 2018 while Soldier only began service with the Dog Unit in February this year for training and development.</p> <p><em>Image: NSW Police Force</em></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Hugh Grant finally reveals his children's names

<p>Hugh Grant has revealed the names of his two youngest daughters for the first time in a candid interview moment. </p> <p>The English actor and father-of-five has never announced the names of two of his children or the gender of his youngest offspring.</p> <p>Now, during an interview with talk show host Jimmy Kimmel, the 64-year-old finally shared that his youngest child was a girl and shared her name with viewers.</p> <p>During a conversation about his own unusual middle name, Mungo, he said, "I was in a bit of a panic with my wife on the day we named [our daughter]."</p> <p>Sharing the hilarious inspiration behind the name, he said, "We thought it might be nice for her when she was older if she could say in bars that her middle name is Danger. So, her name is Lulu Danger Grant. Austin Powers, you know?"</p> <p>Hugh, who also has a son named John Mungo, went on to reveal that his youngest isn't the only child in the family with a fun name. </p> <p>He went on to say that he and his wife Anna were stressed when naming their first daughter, and decided to ask their son for advice. </p> <p>"We asked her elder brother when she was on the way, 'there's a new baby coming along, what shall we call her?'", Hugh explained. "And he said 'Kevin', because that was his favourite Minion."</p> <p>"And we did think about calling her Kevin, but then we said, 'you'd better think of something else', and he said 'Blue', because that was his favourite colour."</p> <p>The announcement was out of character for Hugh, who despite being a huge Hollywood name, tends to keep his personal life out of the spotlight.</p> <p><em>Image credits: YouTube</em></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Patti Newton's moving tribute three years on from Bert's death

<p>It's been three years since entertainment legend Bert Newton passed away, and now his wife has delivered a touching tribute on the anniversary of his death. </p> <p>Patti Newton took to Instagram to share a montage of special moments she shared with her late husband during their time together. </p> <p>“I love you. I miss your smile and your kindness but most of all I miss you,” she wrote.</p> <p>“Three years gone but a wonderful life that will never be forgotten.”</p> <p>She shared a few photos of Bert celebrating birthdays, christmas and other milestones with his grandchildren, and fans took to the comments to share their own memories of Bert. </p> <p>“A beautiful life, a beautiful family. We all still remember and love Bert alongside you xxx,” one wrote.</p> <p>“Bert was, and always will be an icon in Australian entertainment Patti. He will live in the hearts of us who had the pleasure to be entertained by him for many years. Much love to you and the family today," another commented. </p> <p>“What an extraordinary life you both lived and loved.. now Bert is your guardian Angel still loving you from above xxx,” commented a third.</p> <p>“Patti we all miss him he was sunshine to me but nobody will ever miss him like you do…true love never dies, he is always with you,” wrote a fourth. </p> <p>“Thinking of you today Patti and I’m sending you big hugs 🤗 and love," another commented. </p> <p>Bert passed away on October 30, 2021 at the age of 83 after a long health battle. He was known for a variety of TV shows including <em>The Bert Newton Show, Tonight with Bert Newton, The Don Lane Show</em> and a few others. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Bride's touching tribute to late father on her wedding day

<p>"Who's going to walk me down the aisle?" those were the first words 13-year-old Bianca Accurso told her mother when she found out her father had passed away. </p> <p>"I knew from that moment that I needed to feel like he was going to be there right there with me [on my wedding day]," the now mum-of-one told <em>Yahoo Lifestyle</em>. </p> <p>"It was always important for me to acknowledge my dad in a special way at my wedding as he was my first love and whole world."</p> <p>Bianca kept her promise to her teenage self when she got married earlier this year, and the way she did it was by tracking down the man who owned her late father's car, and asking him if she could use it on her big day. </p> <p>"When going down the path of planning, I was writing down all that we needed to organise and tick off and ‘cars’ was one of the many things on the list," she recalled. </p> <p>Her husband had asked her what car she wanted for the special day, and she quickly responded "an XY GT just like my Dad’s". </p> <p>It was only when she brought up the topic of wedding cars to her mum that she had her "light bulb moment". </p> <p>"I literally then had a light bulb moment and said out loud, ‘Hey imagine if I could get it..’. I asked my Mum to see if she still had the transfer papers and contact details of the male that she sold it to after Dad had passed." </p> <p>It didn't take long for her to find the contact details for a man named Harold, while the phone call started a little awkwardly, once he realised who she was, they started talking like they were long lost friends. </p> <p>"I then proceeded to ask if he still owned my dad’s GT, to which he responded, ‘I would never sell it’. I had total goosebumps," Bianca said.</p> <p> </p> <div class="embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important; width: 537px; max-width: 100%;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7430359178104802561&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40loverslenssocials%2Fvideo%2F7430359178104802561&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign-sg.tiktokcdn.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-alisg-p-0037%2FoQ4D7LDJFHhEO47CqjA4ACqIYzZIQoCfAOeHfE%3Flk3s%3Db59d6b55%26x-expires%3D1730498400%26x-signature%3DZNBsHGDfkYMa0%252F22tUjN3D3RPjE%253D%26shp%3Db59d6b55%26shcp%3D-&amp;key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p>"I then told Harold the real reason why I had called and explained to him my wish of driving to my wedding in my Dad’s GT. There was no hesitation and he quite literally responded, ‘I would be absolutely honoured to do that for you, count me in.’ I was speechless. The butterflies were fluttering in my tummy... it was a meant-to-be moment."</p> <p>People were moved by Bianca's story which she posted on TikTok, with the video gaining almost a million views. </p> <p>"Your father is watching down crying and praising that man for taking time out of his day to make yours even better ❤️❤️," one person wrote.</p> <p>"The pure joy and happiness on your face ❤️ your dad may have not walked you down the aisle but he made sure you arrived in style..bless this beautiful man for doing this for you on your special day🥰🥰🥰,"  another added. </p> <p>Bianca recalled the moment she saw the car for the first time, saying: "seeing my Dad’s car after 10 years was indescribable."</p> <p>"My smile said it all. It looked like it had never been touched. I could picture my Dad in the driver's seat with me buckled in tightly by his side.</p> <p>"When we were driving in it, it was pure joy and happiness! We were just so present and tried to enjoy every last moment. Harold made us feel so comfortable and gave us a ride that we will never forget."</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram/ TikTok</em></p> <p> </p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Family heartbroken after school removes teen's memorial site

<p>Charlotte O'Brien, 12, sadly <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/mother-s-heartbreaking-farewell-at-bullied-daughter-s-funeral" target="_blank" rel="noopener">took her own life</a> on September 9 after experiencing relentless bullying at Santa Sabina College in Strathfield, Sydney. </p> <p>Following the young schoolgirl's tragic death, her heartbroken family set up a memorial for her on a tree near the school. Her aunt Melinda Rodgers explained it was the only way they could bid farewell to the teen. </p> <p>“It was something we wanted to do for Charlotte because we didn’t get the opportunity to say goodbye,” she told <em>Nine News</em>.</p> <p>“It was our special way of giving her something to say you mattered and we miss you.”</p> <p>The memorial was set up over the weekend, with a small plaque put in place and flowers which began piling up as others started to pay tribute to the 12-year-old. </p> <p>On Monday afternoon, the memorial site had been removed. The family first realised this when they saw Charlotte's grandfather, who had previously left flowers at the site, “wandering aimlessly up and down the street … trying to find the memorial site to lay his flowers”</p> <p>“Words cannot express how devastated we were,” Rodgers said, after finding out the memorial site had been removed. </p> <p>Paulina Skerman the principal of the school, confirmed they had removed the memorial “because of concerns that were raised about the impact this could have on young people”. </p> <p>She explained that  the school was “with Charlotte’s family to find a permanent and loving way to remember Charlotte” and promised the 12-year-old would “not be forgotten”.</p> <p>Despite the school's explanation, Charlotte's father Mat, said he was “running out of words” to describe his feelings about the situation. </p> <p>“From the school’s perspective, If I was given advice to remove those things, I wouldn’t have touched them,” he said, adding it would be a "positive step" for the school to put up a permanent memorial to his daughter. </p> <p>Her parents had previously opened up about how disappointed they were in the school for reportedly showing "no empathy" during their <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/parents-disappointed-by-principal-s-response-to-daughter-s-suicide" target="_blank" rel="noopener">20-minute meeting</a> with the principal, following Charlotte's death. </p> <p>“We arrived there and met with the principal. When I shared the feedback, she wasn’t interested in receiving that. The feedback was interrupted. It was discounted. It was disagreed with," Mat said at the time.</p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">Need to talk to someone? Don't go it alone.</span></em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Lifeline: <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">13 11 14</span>, <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: 0.2s ease-in-out;" href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">lifeline.org.au </a></em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; background-color: #ffffff;"><span style="color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica Neue, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol, Noto Color Emoji;"><em>Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 or <a href="http://kidshelpline.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">kidshelpline.com.au</a></em></span></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; background-color: #ffffff;"> </p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">SANE Support line and Forums: <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">1800 187 263,</span> <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: 0.2s ease-in-out;" href="https://saneforums.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">saneforums.org</a></em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Headspace: <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">1800 650 890,</span> <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: 0.2s ease-in-out;" href="https://headspace.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">headspace.org.au</a></em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Beyond Blue: <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">1300 224 635</span>, <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: 0.2s ease-in-out;" href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/beyondblue.org.au" target="_blank" rel="noopener">beyondblue.org.au </a></em></p> <p> </p> <p><em>Images: news.com.au</em></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Five reasons why owning a pet is good for us

<p>With more pets than people, Australians have one of the world’s highest pet ownership rates with 62% of us owning at least one pet. And if you’re wondering why we’re so pet mad, research has shown the benefits include companionship, improved mental wellbeing, lower stress and better heart health.</p> <ol> <li><strong>Pets protect us from loneliness</strong></li> </ol> <p>We see our pet as part of the family. Their unconditional (and non-judgemental) love provides us companionship and help to lower stress and anxiety. Interacting with your pet increases feelings of social support and elevates mood. </p> <p>Dog walking increases opportunities for social interaction. When walking outside, fellow dog walkers love to say hello and introduce themselves and their dog to you. Some cafes and restaurants and hotels are dog-friendly venues too. When travelling alone, it’s  wonderful to be able to take your furry companion with you.</p> <ol start="2"> <li><strong>Pets are good for our mental and physical well-being</strong></li> </ol> <p>Pet ownership brings responsibility and the need for skills to know how to best take care of them. These skills will extend to other animals, and other people. Children who have pets develop better social skills when interacting with their friends.</p> <p>Dog owners enjoy lower blood pressure, lower cholesterol levels and less heart disease. While owning a dog is not fully protective, the benefit of all those dog walks are they keep you fitter, healthier and less stressed.</p> <p>If you are unlucky enough to have a heart attack, your long-term survival rate is assisted by having a dog. While interacting with a pet for 10-12 minutes will lower your blood pressure.</p> <p>One of the joys of owning a pet, is the pleasure they provide, and the feeling is mutual. Gazing into the eyes of your beloved pooch, boosts levels of oxytocin our bonding molecule. Our long-standing human-dog relationship was established over 30,000 years ago.</p> <p>Patting or stroking our pets is soothing, especially their silky ears. This is relaxing and how delightful is it when your pet reciprocates with loud purring or offers their tummy for a rub?</p> <ol start="3"> <li><strong>Pets are good for our immune system</strong></li> </ol> <p>You’ve probably heard about your gut microbiome that’s important to keep you healthy. Being a pet owner provides you a healthier microbiome and more robust immune system by promoting more of the beneficial bacteria and lowering the level of harmful, or pathogenic bacteria in our gut.</p> <p>Not only that, stroking your pet raises levels of immunoglobulin A in your body that forms a physical barrier in the gut to protect you against potential invading pathogens.</p> <p>In addition, pregnant mums with a pet in the household are less likely to have infants with childhood allergies, asthma or obesity.</p> <ol start="4"> <li><strong>Pets help us cope better with pain and recovery from illness</strong></li> </ol> <p>Owning a pet has been shown to help manage chronic pain. Pets often sense when their owner isn’t well or in pain and will stay close by, which is very soothing.</p> <p>Watching our pets play and their antics can serve as a useful distraction to our struggles with pain or illness. Having your pet with you (when allowed) in a hospital setting is reassuring and can lift your mood.</p> <p>Animals can help in the work or learning environment. Some workplaces have an office pet policy where you’re allowed to have you pet stay with you while you work. This has been shown to be great for boosting staff morale, collaboration and overall happiness, while keeping work stress lower.</p> <ol start="5"> <li><strong>Pets help us better manage our own self-care</strong></li> </ol> <p>Self-care is always important to stay fit and healthy but isn’t something we always find easy to do. This is where taking responsibility for a pet can help. Teenagers with type one diabetes when given goldfish to care for, did better in monitoring their own blood sugar levels, while having a pet have also been shown to help younger students stay focused and on task, and achieve higher academic results.</p> <p>Pets enrich our lives in so many ways from improved mental well-being to lower stress, elevated mood and greater social support. Whatever type of pet you choose, remember the benefits will work both ways.</p> <p><em><strong>Dr Jenny Brockis is a board-certified lifestyle medicine physician, workplace health and well-being consultant, and author of The Natural Advantage (Major Street Publishing). www.drjennybrockis.com</strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>Image credits: Shutterstock </strong></em></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-emoji: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 14px;"> </p>

Family & Pets

Our Partners

Over 60

© Copyright 2024 OverSixty.All Rights Reserved.