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‘Girl math’ may not be smart financial advice, but it could help women feel more empowered with money

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ylva-baeckstrom-1463175">Ylva Baeckstrom</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kings-college-london-1196">King's College London</a> If you’ve ever calculated cost per wear to justify the price of an expensive dress, or felt like you’ve made a profit after returning an ill-fitting pair of jeans, you might be an expert in <a href="https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/girl-maths-tiktok-trend-its-basically-free-b1100504.html">“girl math”</a>. With videos about the topic going viral on social media, girl math might seem like a silly (<a href="https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/girl-math-womens-spending-taken-seriously">or even sexist</a>) trend, but it actually tells us a lot about the relationship between gender, money and emotions. Girl math introduces a spend classification system: purchases below a certain value, or made in cash, don’t “count”. Psychologically, this makes low-value spending feel safe and emphasises the importance of the long-term value derived from more expensive items. For example, girl math tells us that buying an expensive dress is only “worth it” if you can wear it to multiple events. This approach has similarities to <a href="https://www.investopedia.com/terms/m/modernportfoliotheory.asp">portfolio theory</a> – a method of choosing investments to maximise expected returns and minimise risk. By evaluating how each purchase contributes to the shopping portfolio, girl math shoppers essentially become shopping portfolio managers. <h2>Money and emotions</h2> People of all genders, rich or poor, feel anxious when dealing with their personal finances. Many people in the UK do not understand pensions or saving enough to <a href="https://www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/workplacepensions/articles/pensionparticipationatrecordhighbutcontributionsclusteratminimumlevels/2018-05-04">afford their retirement</a>. Without motivation to learn, people avoid dealing with money altogether. One way to find this motivation, as girl math shows, is by having an emotional and tangible connection to our finances. On the surface, it may seem that women are being ridiculed and encouraged to overspend by using girl math. From a different perspective, it hints at something critical: for a person to really care about something as seemingly abstract as personal finance, they need to feel that they can relate to it. Thinking about money in terms of the value of purchases can help create an <a href="https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/every-time-i-use-my-card-my-phone-buzzes-and-that-stops-me-shopping-ps0fjx6nj">emotional relationship</a> to finance, making it something people want to look after. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GPzA7B6dcxc?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <h2>The girl math we need</h2> Women are a consumer force to be reckoned with, controlling <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/bridgetbrennan/2015/01/21/top-10-things-everyone-should-know-about-women-consumers/#7679f9d6a8b4">up to 80%</a> of consumer spending globally. The girl math trend is a demonstration of women’s mastery at applying portfolio theory to their shopping, making them investment powerhouses whose potential is overlooked by the financial services industry. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/oct/28/women-paid-less-than-men-over-careers-gender-pay-gap-report">Women are disadvantaged</a> when it comes to money and finance. Women in the UK earn on average £260,000 less than men during their careers and the retirement income of men is twice as high as women’s. As I’ve found in <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Gender-and-Finance-Addressing-Inequality-in-the-Financial-Services-Industry/Baeckstrom/p/book/9781032055572">my research</a> on gender and finance, women have lower financial self-efficacy (belief in their own abilities) compared to men. This is not helped by women feeling patronised when seeking financial advice. Because the world of finance was created by men for men, its language and culture are <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Gender-and-Finance-Addressing-Inequality-in-the-Financial-Services-Industry/Baeckstrom/p/book/9781032055572">intrinsically male</a>. Only in the mid-1970s did women in the UK gain the legal right to open a bank account without a male signature and it was not until 1980 that they could apply for credit independently. With the law now more (<a href="https://www.worldbank.org/en/news/press-release/2023/03/02/pace-of-reform-toward-equal-rights-for-women-falls-to-20-year-low">but not fully</a>) gender equal, the financial services industry has failed to connect with women. Studies show that 49% of women are <a href="https://www.ellevest.com/magazine/disrupt-money/ellevest-financial-wellness-survey">anxious about their finances</a>. However they have not bought into patronising offers and <a href="https://www.fa-mag.com/news/gender-roles-block-female-financial-experience--ubs-says-73531.html">mansplaining by financial advisers</a>. This outdated approach suggests that it is women, rather than the malfunctioning financial system, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/sep/16/women-are-not-financially-illiterate-they-need-more-than-condescending-advice">who need fixing</a>. Women continue to feel that they do not belong to or are able to trust the world of finance. And why would women trust an industry with a <a href="https://www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/earningsandworkinghours/bulletins/genderpaygapintheuk/2019">gender pay gap</a> of up to 59% and a severe lack of women in senior positions? Girl math on its own isn’t necessarily good financial advice, but if it helps even a handful of women feel more empowered to manage and understand their finances, it should not be dismissed.  <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ylva-baeckstrom-1463175">Ylva Baeckstrom</a>, Senior Lecturer in Finance, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kings-college-london-1196">King's College London</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/girl-math-may-not-be-smart-financial-advice-but-it-could-help-women-feel-more-empowered-with-money-211780">original article</a>. </div>

Money & Banking

Embracing unapologetic authenticity: Empowering women in midlife and beyond to be their true selves

In recent nationally representative research conducted by <a href="https://www.connectedwomen.net/">Connected Women</a>, a concerning trend emerged among women over the age of 50, with the majority of respondents revealing that a lack of confidence was holding them back from forming new friendships (58%). Even more salient, was that nearly a third (32%) expressed a desire for more meaningful connections. Findings like this underscore the need for a new way of thinking amongst this group, and the urgent need for women to unapologetically embrace authenticity, be themselves, and put themselves, their passions, and their desires, first. The lack of confidence to step out into the world is not only hindering their ability to form connections, but to accept who they are as individuals. So, ladies, picture this: You've finally reached midlife, and while the years have brought wisdom and experience, you also find yourself grappling with self-doubt and societal expectations. It's time to shed the cloak of self-consciousness and embrace what makes you unique. A new way of thinking Embracing unapologetic authenticity means learning to appreciate yourself for who you are - a multifaceted individual shaped by your own experiences, with your own interests and your own opinions. It's about freeing yourself from the constraints of societal norms and comparisons and recognising that you deserve to take up space and shine as your true self. In my work as the founder of Connected Women, I am fortunate to have encountered thousands of women, and what I consistently observe is that the happiest and most fulfilled are the ones who boldly embrace their authentic selves and put themselves out there to try new things and connect with new people. They truly radiate a captivating energy that lights up any room, and people naturally gravitate towards them. I, too, find myself drawn to their presence. But how do you become unapologetically authentic when for so many years, you’ve likely put others needs first or shied away from pursuing things that you love? Show yourself some love Absolutely, the first step to embracing your most authentic self is to show yourself some love – as hard as that may be! Midlife presents an ideal opportunity to prioritise self-care and rekindle passions you may have lost while juggling careers, marriages, children, and aging parents. Pursuing personal growth and fulfilment becomes a transformative journey as you rediscover the flames that once ignited your soul. This could be something as simple as a weekly art class, joining the local choir, or opting for a tennis club. It’s about finding or reconnecting with the things that bring you joy, showing up and being truly present with the experience. The newfound confidence and authenticity you will find from participating in these joyous experiences will undoubtedly radiate, attracting like-minded souls through these shared experiences who appreciate you for who you are. Through these genuine connections, a supportive environment is fostered, allowing everyone to flourish. Surround yourself with positivity The journey to authenticity will be an easier ‘ride’ if you are surrounded by like-minded people. Should you find yourself wanting more from your friendships, I’d encourage you to seek out groups like Connected Women, where you have the space and opportunity to truly find people who share your world views and encourage you to be true to yourself and shine bright! Break free! The journey to unapologetic authenticity is absolutely one of empowerment and self-discovery. As women in midlife, we must challenge limiting beliefs that we are undeserving of happiness and instead remember our right to take up space and shine! Together, lets create a space where every woman feels empowered to embrace her true self, regardless of age or expectations. It's absolutely time to step into the spotlight, be unapologetically authentic, and let your radiance light up the world. You deserve it! <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/08/Phoebe-headshot-EDITED.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Phoebe Adams is the founder of Connected Women, an organisation providing a community for women over 50 to connect with each other and build meaningful friendships. With a rapidly growing community in Perth, Sydney, Wollongong, and Melbourne, Connected Women provides a safe and welcoming space for women to come together and share experiences. To learn more about the organisation and how you can get involved, visit <a href="https://www.connectedwomen.net/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">connectedwomen.net</a>. Image credits: Getty Images

Beauty & Style

Unlocking the Silver Revolution: The Truth About Grey Hair and the Empowering Journey to Embrace the Grey

In a recent poll by midlife connection organisation, Connected Women reveals that two-thirds of women over the age of 50 haven’t embraced their grey hair (67%). With hair starting to go grey in our 30s and 40s, that’s a long time to hide those pesky greys! What causes grey hair? According to Harvard Health, hair doesn’t ‘turn’ grey. Once a strand of hair is a particular colour, it will stay that way unless it is dyed. After the age of 35, hair follicles produce less colour, so when that strand of hair falls out it will be more likely to grow back grey. Can stress cause grey hair? There is very little evidence to indicate that this is true, however, research shows that in mice, in response to a fight or flight situation, hair follicles are impacted and the pigmentation-producing stem cells can be lost. Without stem cells available to produce pigment cells, the hair will go grey. So, can we now legitimately blame our grey hairs on our kids, or our husbands. What happens when you pluck your grey hairs out? Don’t do it! Not only will it simply grow back grey, but according to Trey Gillen, hairstylist and creative director of education at SACHAJUAN, doing so can also traumatise the follicles which could mean NO hair grows back. When is the right time to go grey? This is something that only you can decide. If your hair is dark brown or black, your greys will be more noticeable, so you’ll need to have regular (two to four weekly) trips to the hairdresser to cover them up. At some point you will most likely grow weary of trying to stem the tide and it will be time to just embrace the grey. You will know when you’ve had enough! If you have lighter hair, then your greys will be much less noticeable. Lighter hair gives you a much longer window between coloring appointments in the initial stages of going grey, and later you can use the greys as ‘herringbone highlights’ as per Sarah Jessica Parker’s beautiful mane, which is wonderful way to gracefully embrace going grey. <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/05/Phoebe-headshot-EDITED.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;">Phoebe Adams is the founder of Connected Women, an organisation providing a community for women over 50 to connect with each other and build meaningful friendships. With a rapidly growing community in Perth, Sydney, Wollongong, and Melbourne, Connected Women provides a safe and welcoming space for women to come together and share experiences. To learn more about the organisation and how you can get involved, visit <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out 0s;" href="https://www.connectedwomen.net/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">connectedwomen.net</a>. <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;">Image credits: Getty Images

Beauty & Style

The #advancedstyle movement celebrates and empowers stylish older women

Until recently, the idea of paying close attention to mature women’s style would have, at best, been met with little interest from other consumers and the fashion industry but most likely completely ignored. After all, to be fashionable and feminine has typically been viewed as requiring youth. What could older female consumers possibly teach us about being stylish? Following the unexpected popularity of what’s known as the “<a href="https://www.advanced.style/">advanced style</a>” phenomenon, discussions about ageism, gender and fashion have been attracting increasing attention in the popular media, including <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/20/style/instagram-grandmas.html">the New York Times</a>. The <a href="https://www.instagram.com/advancedstyle/">@advancedstyle Instagram account</a>, created in 2008 by American street style photographer Ari Seth Cohen, helped fuel these critical conversations. Cohen’s celebration of the personal styles of regular women 50 years of age and older has launched a flourishing consumer movement. More than a decade after its creation, the Advanced Style Instagram account has more than 300,000 followers, boasts a hashtag <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/advancedstyle/">(#advancedstyle)</a> that’s been used more than 205,000 times, is regularly featured in major fashion magazines around the world, like <a href="https://www.vogue.com.au/fashion/street-style/advanced-styles-ari-seth-cohen-on-sydneys-senior-style-scene/news-story/0264eec1ded0e57824f23f9c14f4c42e">Vogue Australia</a>, and expanded into the realm of coffee table books <a href="https://powerhousebooks.com/books/advanced-style1/">in 2012</a> <a href="https://powerhousebooks.com/books/advanced-style-older-and-wiser/">and 2016</a>, as well as <a href="https://powerhousebooks.com/books/advanced-style-coloring-book/">adult colouring books</a>. In light of this social media success story, my colleague <a href="https://www.hec.ca/en/profs/marie-agnes.parmentier.html">Marie-Agnès Parmentier</a> and I decided to explore how women over 50 are amplifying their voices and changing representations in the fashion and beauty industries by becoming official Instagram influencers. <h2>The study</h2> To do so, we conducted a focused media <a href="https://www.doi.org/10.4135/9781412995511">and netnographic</a>investigation of the advanced style movement and its Instagram influencers. In particular, we followed 10 popular Advanced Style influencers from our personal Instagram accounts for 12 months. This online participant observation, which is a big part of conducting netnographic research, provided us with first-hand experiences of the influencers’ marketing activities and fan interactions. Our complete study is now published online in a special issue of <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/712609">the Journal of the Association for Consumer Research</a> focusing on gender, markets and consumers. Overall, we have found that all 10 Advanced Style influencers use the social media platform to actively fight gendered ageism rampant in the fashion and beauty industries. Specifically, these women enact two forms of embodied resistance informed by the western dominant discourse of successful aging: They deconstruct gendered and ageist fashion, and they defy gendered and ageist beauty standards. Successful aging not only turns people’s inevitable biological deterioration into a personal project, it also provides concrete strategies of how to best be old. In 1997, American physician John W. Rowe and his psychologist colleague Robert L. Kahn, defined successful aging, first and foremost, as “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/geront/37.4.433">encompassing the avoidance of disease and disability, the maintenance of high physical and cognitive function, and sustained engagement in social and productive activities</a>.” <h2>Gendered ageism in fashion</h2> The fashion market makes sustained engagement difficult, given it’s replete with discriminatory rules about what to wear and especially what not to wear once a woman turns 50. These style rules include no longer showing one’s body through tight, short or low-cut clothing, adopting a less colourful wardrobe and makeup and retreating from ultra-modern, cutting-edge styles. In response, we find the advanced style consumers-turned-influencers engage in <a href="https://montecristomagazine.com/essay/defying-ageist-fashion-rules">online “style activism,”</a> demanding designers create ready-to-wear options for their changing bodies. In the sphere of influencer marketing, style activism also means deciding what brands to endorse and collaborate with, and what brands to pass and avoid. The advanced style influencers often refuse to be “<a href="https://thekit.ca/style/canadian-fashion-designers-roundtable/">the token senior</a>” of a marketing campaign. <h2>Gendered ageism in beauty industry</h2> The majority of the advanced style influencers equally reject the anti-aging beauty industry that <a href="https://abcnews.go.com/WN/selling-fountain-youth-author-arlene-weintraub-anti-aging/story?id=11533763">transforms getting older into a disease</a>. The multi-billion-dollar industry also falsely promises everlasting youth in a bottle. We find that these women opt instead to popularize natural, greying hair, wrinkles and body scars through their Instagram posts. For eons, beauty brands have told aging women that greying hair is a mortifying problem that must be hidden, whereas for older men <a href="https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/gallery/mens-grey-hair-care-guide">it remains a sign of mature sexiness</a>. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvQoh6CSGvY">Grey hair</a> is consequently a defining feature of these influencers’ embodied resistance, and one that’s front and centre in their style activism. We encourage everyone to follow the advanced style influencers’ consumer activism journeys on Instagram by engaging with the hashtag #advancedstyle. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-advancedstyle-movement-celebrates-and-empowers-stylish-older-women-157952" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Beauty & Style

How to empower older adults to become digital citizens in our tech-dependent world

Living in a technology dependent world means we all want to stay connected, regardless of age. And the COVID-19 pandemic was a major catalyst <a href="https://dx.doi.org/10.1016%2Fj.ijinfomgt.2020.102171">for increasing our technological dependence</a>. It became normal to do weekly online grocery shops, attend doctors’ appointments or work via Zoom and FaceTime family and friends. The reality is however, that not everyone is fortunate enough to have access to the technological devices or skills to operate in our online world — some of the most impacted by this are older adults. This <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s41256-020-00154-3">magnified the pandemic for them, especially in terms of isolation</a>. Older adults were left without the main resource that has been keeping many of us connected — technology. But that’s not all the pandemic has laid bare for older adults. A <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-aging-face-of-homelessness-in-north-american-cities-111702">large number of them are also either experiencing, or are vulnerable to homelessness</a>. Older adults have become one of the <a href="https://www.homelesshub.ca/resource/%E2%80%9Cno-home-no-place%E2%80%9D-addressing-complexity-homelessness-old-age-through-community-dialogue">groups most at-risk for housing insecurities during the pandemic</a>. And one of the <a href="https://www.homelesshub.ca/about-homelessness/education-training-employment/poverty">largest barriers to housing, is low socioeconomic status</a>. Our technological dependence has created new challenges for older adults, and helped solidify pre-existing ones, like navigating online platforms to secure housing. Older adults face housing barriers due to the lack of technological resources and education on how to use them; there is a clear need to empower them to be digital citizens. <h2>Finding housing in an internet-dependent world</h2> Overall, older adults are often excluded from using the internet because they <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbaa098">lack devices and connectivity, or are inexperienced in using it</a>. So when it comes to finding housing, they’re often left behind. A decade ago, it was possible to walk through the streets, sift through newspapers, notice boards and discover apartments for rent, but this is increasingly uncommon. The platforms themselves — like Kijiji, PadMapper and Facebook Marketplace — are not made with older adults in mind; meaning <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0308518X19869678">the ability to navigate and access these resources makes it even more difficult for them to find housing</a>. On top of having to search through unfamiliar platforms, they’re also faced with finding an apartment on a limited budget. Imagine you don’t know housing websites exist. Or know how to navigate online ads. Or have a device to access the internet. You’re put at a serious disadvantage when it comes to accessing housing. In North America “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0308518X19869678">large portions of the rental housing market have moved online … more renters in urbanized areas found their current homes through a site like Craigslist than through any other information channel</a>.” Meaning the majority of rental properties are accessible through online platforms. Older adults who are not part of this digital world have limited opportunities to find housing. We don’t want to suggest that finding an apartment is impossible but, if you are an older adult lacking technological resources and digital literacy, it may feel overwhelming. <h2>Making technology more accessible</h2> How can we move forward in this digital world, when so many are being left behind? We should at least make technology accessible, so the choice is up to the user. When it comes to older adults, having the liberty to choose their involvement with technology can provide independence and autonomy. When the decision is theirs to make, their <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2016.05.092">quality of life tends to increase, especially regarding social isolation</a>. While <a href="https://www.ncoa.org/article/top-10-financial-scams-targeting-seniors">older adults are more vulnerable to phishing and scams</a> and may have trouble recognizing fake housing advertisements, <a href="https://helpagecanada.ca/seniors-can-connect/">having support</a> and <a href="https://youthteachingadults.ca/resources/">educational resources</a> can <a href="https://www.connectedcanadians.ca/">promote the adoption of a conscious and cautious attitude</a> online, promote the use of trusted websites and avoid disclosing personal information such as SIN and credit card information. This can actively enable older adults to feel more comfortable and confident online. We are a part of the <a href="https://www.sfu.ca/airp/news-events/in-the-news/spike-in-homelessness-among-aged-prompts-research-for-solutions-.html">Aging in the Right Place (AIRP) Project</a> which looks at the causes of homelessness for older adults in order to evaluate <a href="https://www.seniorsservicessociety.ca/">current promising practices in place, such as temporary housing that support older adults who are at risk of experiencing homelessness</a>. An integral part of this project is to not only be in close contact with the people working towards supporting this population, but also with older people experiencing homelessness themselves. In our preliminary client interviews of those living in the temporary housing, we’re often told how invaluable technology is when searching for stable housing. <h2>Technology can improve quality of life</h2> As a society we assume older adults are not interested in various technologies, <a href="https://slate.com/technology/2020/07/seniors-technology-illiteracy-misconception-pandemic.html">not because they’re resisting but because technologies that currently exist were simply not created with them in mind</a>. Failing to include older adults as technology users further perpetuates the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-39949-2_15">social, information and digital exclusion they experience</a>. This <a href="https://www.ceeol.com/search/article-detail?id=425680">leaves very few opportunities for them to access education and awareness</a>. Opportunities that do exist to learn are often found in schools or at work — which are environments many older adults no longer frequent. Technology can improve the quality of life for older adults by providing ease, inclusion and comfort by making the essentials, like finding housing, more accessible. It’s time we <a href="https://helpagecanada.ca/seniors-can-connect/">draw on the resources</a> <a href="https://youthteachingadults.ca/resources/">and educational initiatives</a> <a href="https://www.connectedcanadians.ca/">in place and reach out to the ones who have been left behind</a>. Let’s empower older adults to be digital citizens. As digital citizens, they will have more opportunities to secure housing and tools to prevent homelessness. These supports will not only give them a sense of involvement in a technologically dependent world, but also provide a sense of belonging and inclusion in today’s society. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-empower-older-adults-to-become-digital-citizens-in-our-tech-dependent-world-167010" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Retirement Life

Does it really empower women to expect them to make the first move?

Heterosexual dating conventions have long held that men make the first move: first to flirt, first to ask out on a date, first to propose. What if the roles were reversed? That’s what one dating app, Bumble, has tried to do. Bumble brands itself as a <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/bumble-app-whitney-wolfe" target="_blank">feminist dating app</a> that’s designed to empower women. According to <a rel="noopener" href="https://bumble.com/" target="_blank">Bumble’s website</a>, the app was developed to “challenge the antiquated rules of dating” by requiring those who identify as women to initiate communication with men they match with. With over 100 million users as of 2020, <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.businessofapps.com/data/bumble-statistics/" target="_blank">Bumble is one of the most popular dating apps</a> on the market, and <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5FmVpQ4iO4" target="_blank">in interviews I conducted with over 100 people about online dating</a> in my <a rel="noopener" href="https://connectingdigitally.com/" target="_blank">“Connecting Digitally” study</a>, more than half reported using Bumble. But my research shows that Bumble, despite purporting to empower women, leaves many female users feeling frustrated and vulnerable. This disconnect can be linked in part to the ways in which many men engage with online dating apps. When a match is meaningless Bumble’s attempts at “<a rel="noopener" href="https://bumble.com/" target="_blank">levelling the playing field and changing the dynamics of dating</a>” and empowering users to “<a rel="noopener" href="https://bumble.com/" target="_blank">connect with confidence</a>” makes sense in theory, but not in practice. <a rel="noopener" href="https://youtu.be/H5FmVpQ4iO4" target="_blank">Women in my study reported</a> a number of counterproductive user practices based on their own swiping experiences and conversations with male Bumble users. A 39-year-old female participant in my study described the frustration of making the first move and not getting any response: “So then all of a sudden you’re a match, but they would never say anything or respond to you … you wouldn’t hear from them. What’s the point? Why even bother?” Rather than evaluating profiles carefully and swiping “yes” on women they’re serious about, men are often <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tdx.cat/handle/10803/670200" target="_blank">likely to swipe right based only on the profile photo</a>. In addition, many men approach online dating as a numbers game and practice what some call “<a rel="noopener" href="https://twitter.com/bumble/status/1139706620416425989?lang=en" target="_blank">power swiping</a>” or “<a rel="noopener" href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0265407517706419" target="_blank">shotgun swiping</a>” by saying “yes” to everyone and seeing who shows interest and matches with them. Many of them will only read a women’s profile information after matching. Lastly, because some men are <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3710505/What-Tinder-strategy-Men-likely-casually-swipe-right-women-match-attract-them.html" target="_blank">just swiping for the ego boost</a> of “likes,” they’ll simply delete the match rather than respond to a women’s invitation to chat. Women in my study often pointed out that a match was far from a guarantee of mutual interest. Unfortunately, due to “<a rel="noopener" href="https://lithub.com/swipe-right-for-loneliness-on-the-gamification-of-dating-apps/" target="_blank">the gamification of dating</a>” – the way the apps are designed to be engaging and addictive – mindless swiping is a common phenomena across all dating apps, not just Bumble. Communication and power For decades, language scholars have been researching how people connect – or fail to connect – <a rel="noopener" href="https://doi.org/10.2307/412243" target="_blank">in conversation</a>. We say that the person speaking “holds the floor,” and they can wield power through choosing the topic, talking for longer periods of time and steering the conversation in certain directions. However, not all power is maintained through holding the floor. Not taking up a speaker’s topic in conversation, either by changing the topic or ignoring the question altogether, is another way to exercise power. In other words, in any conversation, it takes two to tango. <a rel="noopener" href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1083-6101.2006.00312.x" target="_blank">As the authors of a study on email communication and response times put it</a>, “failure to respond or to take the floor creates a breakdown.” On dating apps, not responding to an opening message is akin to ignoring someone who’s asking you a question in a face-to-face conversation. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/442142/original/file-20220124-21-1f3lrvj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="A video billboard reads 'Woman. Fighter. Wife. Patriot. Feminist. Mother. Hero. Justice.'" /> Bumble, which has made empowering women a key facet of its brand, pays tribute to former Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg in an advertisement. <a rel="noopener" href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/07.RBG.Bumble.UnionStation.WDC.23September2020_%2850381239022%29.jpg" target="_blank" class="source">Wikimedia Commons</a>, <a rel="noopener" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/" target="_blank" class="license">CC BY-SA</a> On Bumble, women may be given the control to take the floor first and direct the initial topic of conversation through, as Bumble terms it, “<a rel="noopener" href="https://bumble.com/en/help/how-does-messaging-work-on-bumble#:%7E:text=Users%20who%20have%20First%20Move,First%20Moves%20are%20time%2Dsensitive!" target="_blank">first move privileges</a>.” However, when men fail to respond or unmatch after receiving that opening message, the women in my study reported feeling dismissed, rejected and, ultimately, disempowered. In 2020, <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2020-01-17/for-bumble-the-future-isn-t-female-it-s-female-marketing" target="_blank">Bloomberg published an article</a> exploring Bumble’s marketing tactics and brand messaging. Though the company maintains that requiring women to message first “reduces harassment” and “creates a kinder exchange between two people,” the author of the article noted that Bumble was never able to provide tangible proof of “how Bumble was keeping women safer or leading to more equitable relationships.” Switching poles doesn’t solve the problem On a positive note, Bumble has become a catalyst for conversation about gender, power and communication in online dating. And while <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/love-lust-and-digital-dating-men-on-the-bumble-dating-app-arent-ready-for-the-queen-bee-120796" target="_blank">many may not be ready for women to make the first move</a>, most of the male and female Bumble users in my study <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5FmVpQ4iO" target="_blank">noted that they chose the app</a> precisely because of its philosophy of empowering women. To me, this speaks to the fact that people are ready to embrace Bumble’s goals of “<a rel="noopener" href="https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/408946-female-driven-dating-app-bumble-publishes-full-page-ad-in-the" target="_blank">shaking up outdated gender norms</a>.” That hasn’t stopped some men and women from decrying Bumble’s unique design as sexist. In fact, <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.bumblemessagingsettlement.com/" target="_blank">a class action lawsuit filed in 2018 accused Bumble of discriminating</a> against heterosexual male app users because the app only allows women to send messages first. Bumble denied wrongdoing, but agreed to settle in 2021 to avoid further costly litigation. A 37-year-old female participant in my study thought the app’s emphasis on gender was artificial and constrictive: “I don’t like it when people limit things by sex or gender. That doesn’t feel empowering to me. It just feels like they’re trying to [enact] reverse sexism.” By creating a situation where the right to speak and direct conversation is only given to members identifying with one gender, the work of coming up with unique and engaging opening messages falls on that group. Men have traditionally done more of this work. Many of them don’t exactly cherish initiating conversations with countless strangers, <a rel="noopener" href="https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-23538-3_22" target="_blank">a process that’s rife with anxiety and rejection</a>. For heterosexual matches on Bumble, women are now required to do the part. Yet to place the work of initiating conversation solely on one group seems to encourage passivity in the other party, which seems to only hamper healthy communication. <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/riki-thompson-964482" target="_blank">Riki Thompson</a>, Associate Professor of Digital Rhetoric and Writing Studies, <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-washington-699" target="_blank">University of Washington</a> This article is republished from <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com" target="_blank">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/does-it-really-empower-women-to-expect-them-to-make-the-first-move-175032" target="_blank">original article</a>. Image: Getty Images

Relationships

“Powerful and empowering”: Robert shares Making It experience

Episode five of Making It Australia saw our crafters breathe new life into used items to create something new. In the Faster Craft challenge, Andrew outshone the competition with his welded deer light, made from scrap metal and vintage glass insulators from his farm. The main challenge pushed Makers to transform discarded items into furniture, with Rehana securing the win with her monster-themed bed made from a repurposed dresser. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CUZyGqwBk9E/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CUZyGqwBk9E/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Making It Australia (@makingitau)</a> </div> </blockquote> At the end of the Master Craft challenge a Maker was once again eliminated, and this time it was Robert. The Melbourne artist sat down with OverSixty to reflect on his time as a Maker, and how it has impacted his community. O60: What was the highlight of being a Maker? I think the highlight for me was probably after I made my first Master Craft where I’d done the steel… Whenever I walked back into the barn, people were just standing and staring at it. But also, I think just connecting with all the other Makers and getting to know the judges and the hosts. It was just a really fun, fun space to create and just get to know new people as well. O60: What surprised you most about your Making It experience? I am a very relaxed person. And I like to listen to music and go at things at my own pace. But also, I didn't realize how much I smiled as well. Watching the episodes, I was like, man, I smile a lot. O60: On the show, your creations celebrated your heritage, family and your personality, including your Indigenous heritage. Could you tell us how it felt to represent your culture on the show? I was a little bit nervous. Because I like to have a yarn, I like to say things very long-winded sometimes, because there's a lot of story and depth to a piece. But to have a platform, and I know the response that I've gotten from people from my own family, but also within community, they've just been so proud and just so excited and thankful that they get to see a cousin or a family member actually creating and sharing culture on national TV… One of my cousin's said, ‘when we were growing up, you had Ernie Dingo, and now I've got my own cousin on TV.’ So just telling kids, which is very powerful, because I think the visual representation of indigenous culture is starting to [increase] more and more, but the impact ... personally to people that are Aboriginal, it's just powerful, and also empowering. I actually get to see somebody that has the same stories of me or looks like me. But I think it’s definitely changing up [and] a new era coming in of the celebration of Aboriginal people and their cultures, and the diversity of Aboriginal culture and peoples and their background. O60: What’s next for you after Making It? Because I work as an artist full time … so [I’m] currently working on a couple murals and commissioned artworks and also doing a sculpture for Hume City Council for peoples that have been a part of the Stolen Generations. So a very powerful piece that's going to be going up next year. Then just informing people about that story and what people had to go through, but also a place of empowerment and strength for community that have been through it … and hopefully whatever else comes now. I love sharing art and culture with people. O60: Definitely, especially because creating art is about expressing yourself, but then also creating something for other people. Absolutely. The importance that I think I want to give to other artists or other creative people is that your story is, as much of it is of it is yours, it's also the people that are viewing, people that are connecting with the story and how you can impart yourself onto them but also then implying a little bit of themselves on to you. And I think being able to do that in a way in which is an invitation for people to sit down and hear your story is probably the most empowering thing because we haven't had that much time to kind of chat and yarn to people especially during all these wonderful lockdowns but creativity and a show like Making It break breaks those moments for a little bit of time and you get to dream. O60: Making It seems to be challenging the idea that eliminations mean you no longer appear on the show, can you give us an insight into what’s been happening behind the scenes with the eliminated Makers? I'm not too sure what everyone else is up to. I know everybody's still kind of going about their everyday. But the thing, I think it’s still like a surreal moment. But we all still send texts to each other like, ‘hey, how are you going?’ And like we just have all these inside jokes [about] some of the stuff that didn't make it, but it's still funny that we kind of get to share that. O60: Last but not least, if you had the chance, would you do it again? Yeah, I’d do it a little bit differently, I’d probably be a little bit more prepared. I think I'd work out a bit more of a strategic plan for when I'm not feeling very creative or I'm feeling a bit rundown ... and I think I worked that out towards the end. I was like, you just got to dance and listen to good music and make other people dance with you even if they don't want to. Nobody really wants to dance to some cool R&B disco Song at seven o'clock in the morning, but If they pick up your energy, you're gonna go and you're gonna have some fun. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CUZ4zPSBGaV/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CUZ4zPSBGaV/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by RMY (@robertmichaelyoung)</a> </div> </blockquote> Making It Australia returns on Thursday night at 7.30pm. Image: @makingitau / Instagram

Why "strong is the new skinny" isn’t as empowering as it sounds

Women have long been subject to <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1176/appi.ap.30.3.257">powerful social pressures</a> to look a certain way. The “<a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/eat.20039">feminine ideal</a>” – a svelte female figure – has dominated film, television and magazine culture. The result is a narrow idea of what feminine beauty should look like and an associated crisis in <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1471-6402.2006.00292.x?casa_token=xI9aCl5G8K0AAAAA%3A-DFk1ElCpn9HEMrrkmsfRO2f5t_EZLfixIS5DOvv4YLu0IKd90pWiQU4tlcY8vVjvPVJ8Njwb7Mxcg">body satisfaction</a>. In recent years an “<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1740144510000070">athletic ideal</a>” – characterised by muscle tone and power – has emerged as an alternative conception of beauty. Female bodies on the track are as appealing as those on the catwalk. This might be considered a good thing – a broader definition of beauty is more inclusive. More accepted body types, more body satisfaction, right? From the perspective of former athletes, it’s a little more complicated than that. Athletes are a useful population to explore in terms of the relationship between “athletic” and “feminine” ideals – they are exposed to both more than most women. A <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fspy0000111">recent study</a> of 218 former athletes showed they found body image a difficult terrain to navigate. Gymnasts and swimmers, retired for between two and six years, were asked to identify what body changes they noticed, how they felt about them and how they coped. Some former athletes embraced a new, less muscular body that emerged due to the retirement-induced reduction in training load. Chelsea, a 26-year-old retired swimmer, commented: Lost most of the heavier muscle I gained while training in college about six months after I stopped swimming. Due to the loss, I dropped about 15–20 pounds… I was surprised at how baggy my clothes felt and was pleasantly surprised that I could fit in smaller sizes. I didn’t feel as bulky or broad-shouldered. With bulk and brawn confined to her former life, Chelsea rejoices in her increased sense of femininity. This suggests traditional conventions of feminine beauty remain the preference even for former athletes who often take pride in their physical strength and muscularity. So, perhaps statements such as “<a href="http://www.womensfitness.com.au/editorial/strong-new-skinny/">strong is the new skinny</a>” are overplayed and the feminine ideal remains powerful and difficult to resist. Another finding was that the athletic ideal may be the alternative ideal, but it’s not necessarily a healthier ideal or one that will lead to a more positive body image. Retired swimmer Abbey, 26, illustrated this point when she stated: It took me a long time to realise that my body would never be what it was when I was an athlete… I still think back and use that image as a gauge to how I could look, but also know that my life does not revolve around working out 20-plus hours a week or needing to be in top shape to be successful. I still want to be as lean and as strong as I used to be. Although Abbey remains committed to an athletic ideal, she is unable to fulfil it now she is no longer an athlete. Accepting this is a difficult process and she still pines for her former body. An athletic ideal may not exclusively focus on thinness but it still demands stringent diets and training regimes and it has been linked to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1471015315300386">disordered eating and exercise behaviours</a>. Ideals, by definition, aren’t healthy because they demand the unachievable: perfection. Some athletes were torn between the athletic ideal and the feminine ideal, identifying with both and attempting to walk a tightrope between a sporty look and a feminine one. For example, former swimmer Simone, 26, reflected: My weight is pretty much the same as when I was swimming, but I am significantly less muscular. I’m glad I am not as muscular as I was when I was swimming and that my shoulders shrunk to a size that would fit into clothes, but I would like to be a little more muscular/toned than I am now. And 25-year-old Carrie, a retired gymnast, echoed the “toned but not too toned” mantra: I am less muscular and my butt has gotten a little saggy. I feel OK because I am still thin and feel energetic, but I would like to be more toned but not as bulky (muscular) as I was when I was competing in my sport. Carrie and Simone desired athletic tone but not at the expense of conventional femininity. At the same time, they sought the thin ideal but not at the expense of an athletic look. The athletic and feminine ideal represent two contradictory masters; to serve one is to reject the other. Finding the middle ground necessary to appease both is an almost impossible task. It is naïve to view the athletic ideal as simply providing women with a different or new way to love their bodies; it might also provide a new way to hate them. The more ideals there are, the more ways there are to fall short. Strong isn’t the new skinny quite yet. And, if it were, it would be nothing to brag about. Written by Anthony Papathomas. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/strong-is-the-new-skinny-isnt-as-empowering-as-it-sounds-107703">The Conversation</a>.

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