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Don’t give mum chocolates for Mother’s Day. Take on more housework, share the mental load and advocate for equality instead

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> With Mother’s Day right around the corner, many grateful and loving families are thinking about what to give mum to show their appreciation. Should you give her chocolate? Nope. Fancy soaps? Nope. Fuzzy slippers, pyjamas, scented candles? No, no and no. On this Mother’s Day, keep your cash and give your wonderful mother gifts that will actually have a long-term impact on her health and well-being. <h2>1. Do a chore that mum hates and hold onto it … forever</h2> Research <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13545701.2020.1831039">shows</a> men have increased the amount of time spent on housework and childcare and that mothers, over time, are doing less (hooray!). But, women <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.00479.x">still do more housework</a> than men, especially when <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12497?fbclid=IwAR2dp04p2sFqbDqdehXmXgDSfTYwX3GRzP7ScMJhSOrMePTGQVErR2TTX88">kids are in the home</a>. Further, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243205285212">men tend to pick up the more desirable tasks</a>, like <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3598304">cooking and playing with the kids</a>, leaving mothers to do the less pleasurable chores (think cleaning toilets and clearing out fridges). The chore divide in same-sex relationships is generally found to be more equal, but some critique suggests equality may suffer <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/16/upshot/same-sex-couples-divide-chores-much-more-evenly-until-they-become-parents.html">once kids are involved</a>. This year give your mum (or mums) the gift of equal housework and childcare sharing – start by taking the most-hated tasks and then hold onto them… forever. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12727">Research</a> shows housework inequality is bad for women’s mental health. Undervaluing women’s housework and unequal sharing of the chores deteriorates <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01282-5">relationship quality</a>, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0038038516674664">leads to divorce</a>. Housework and childcare take up valuable time to keep the family happy, harmonious and thriving, often at the expense of mum’s health and well-being. So, skip the chocolates and show mum love by doing the worst, most drudgerous and constant household chores (hello, cleaning mouldy showers!) and keep doing these… forever. <h2>2. Initiate a mental unload</h2> The <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">mental load</a> is all of the planning, organising and management work necessary to keep the family running. The mental load is often perceived as list making or allocating tasks to family members. But, it’s so much more – it is the <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">emotional work</a> that goes with this thinking work. The mental load is the worry work that never ends and can be done <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813">anywhere, anytime and with anyone</a> (in, for example, said mouldy shower). Because the mental load is performed inside our heads, it is invisible. That means we don’t know when we or others are performing this labour unless we really tune in. In fact, it is often when we tune in through quiet time, relaxation or meditation that the mental load rears its ugly head. Suddenly you remind yourself to buy oranges for the weekend soccer game, organise a family movie night and don’t forget to check in on nanna. Women in heterosexual relationships are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122419859007">shown to do more</a> of the mental load with serious consequences for their mental health. But we don’t have a comprehensive measurement of how much women do it nor how it is allocated in same-sex couples. So, on this mothers’ day spend some time talking about, cataloguing, and equalising the family’s mental load. This isn’t just making a list about what has to be done but also understanding <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">how the mental load</a> connects to the emotional health of the family, and the person carrying this <a href="https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/blog/making-the-mental-load-visible/">invisible labour, worry and stress</a>. <h2>3. Speak up for your mum and all caregivers</h2> Families alone cannot bear the brunt of the caregiving necessary to keep us thriving. Governments, workplaces and local communities also play a critical role. For this mothers’ day, pick an issue impacting mothers (for example, equal pay, affordable childcare or paid family leave) and do one thing to help move the needle. Write a letter to your boss, your local MP, or donate money to an advocacy organisation advancing gender equality. Or, role model these behaviours yourself – normalise caregiving as a critical piece of being an effective worker, create policies and practices that support junior staff to care for themselves, their families and their communities and use these policies. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243216649946">Research</a> shows men want to be equal carers and sharers but often fear what taking time off for caregiving will signal to their employer despite evidence that fathers who request flexible work are perceived more <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sf/article-abstract/94/4/1567/2461609?login=false">favourably</a>. Appearing to be singularly devoted to work was shown to be impossible during the pandemic with kids, spouses, partners, and pets home all day long. Learning to create more care-inclusive workplaces and communities is critical. Paid parental leave, affordable and accessible high-quality childcare, flexibility in how, when and where we work and greater investments in paid sick leave, long-term disability support and aged care are just a few policies that would strengthen the care safety net. We will all be called upon to care at some point in our lives – let’s create the environments that support caregiving for all, not just mum.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182330/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, Professor of Sociology and Founding Director of The Future of Work Lab, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-give-mum-chocolates-for-mothers-day-take-on-more-housework-share-the-mental-load-and-advocate-for-equality-instead-182330">original article</a>. </div>

Family & Pets

Don’t blame women for low libido. Sexual sparks fly when partners do their share of chores – including calling the plumber

When a comic about “mental load” <a href="https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/">went viral in 2017</a>, it sparked conversations about the invisible workload women carry. Even when women are in paid employment, they remember their mother-in-law’s birthday, know what’s in the pantry and organise the plumber. This mental load often goes unnoticed. Women also <a href="https://theconversation.com/yet-again-the-census-shows-women-are-doing-more-housework-now-is-the-time-to-invest-in-interventions-185488">continue to do more housework</a> and childcare than their male partners. This burden has been exacerbated over the recent pandemic (homeschooling anyone?), <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">leaving women</a> feeling exhausted, anxious and resentful. As sexuality researchers, we wondered, with all this extra work, do women have any energy left for sex? We decided to explore how mental load affects intimate relationships. We focused on female sexual desire, as “low desire” affects <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1743609520307566">more than 50% of women</a> and is <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0091302217300079">difficult to treat</a>. Our study, published in the <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2022.2079111">Journal of Sex Research</a>, shows women in equal relationships (in terms of housework and the mental load) are more satisfied with their relationships and, in turn, feel more sexual desire than those in unequal relationships. <h2>How do we define low desire?</h2> Low desire is tricky to explore. More than simply the motivation to have sex, women describe sexual desire as a state-of-being and a need for closeness. Adding to this complexity is the fluctuating nature of female desire that changes in response to life experiences and the <a href="https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160630-the-enduring-enigma-of-female-desire">quality of relationships</a>. Relationships are especially important to female desire: relationship dissatisfaction is a <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18410300/">top risk factor</a> for low desire in women, even more than the physiological impacts of age and menopause. Clearly, relationship factors are critical to understanding female sexual desire. As a way of addressing the complexity of female desire, a <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-018-1212-9">recent theory</a> proposed two different types of desire: dyadic desire is the sexual desire one feels for another, whereas solo desire is about individual feelings. Not surprisingly, dyadic desire is intertwined with the dynamics of the relationship, while solo desire is more amorphous and involves feeling good about yourself as a sexual being (feeling sexy), without needing validation from another. <h2>Assessing the link</h2> Our research acknowledged the nuances of women’s desire and its strong connection to relationship quality by exploring how fairness in relationships might affect desire. The research involved asking 299 Australian women aged 18 to 39 questions about desire and relationships. These questions included assessments of housework, mental load – such as who organised social activities and made financial arrangements – and who had more leisure time. We compared three groups: <ul> <li>relationships where women perceived the work as equally shared equal (the “equal work” group)</li> <li>when the woman felt she did more work (the “women’s work” group)</li> <li>when women thought that their partner contributed more (the “partner’s work” group).</li> </ul> We then explored how these differences in relationship equity impacted female sexual desire. <h2>What we found</h2> The findings were stark. Women who rated their relationships as equal also reported greater relationship satisfaction and higher dyadic desire (intertwined with the dynamics of the relationship) than other women in the study. Unfortunately (and perhaps, tellingly), the partner’s work group was too small to draw any substantial conclusions. However, for the women’s work group it was clear their dyadic desire was diminished. This group was also less satisfied in their relationships overall. We found something interesting when turning our attention to women’s solo desire. While it seems logical that relationship inequities might affect all aspects of women’s sexuality, our results showed that fairness did not significantly impact solo desire. This suggests women’s low desire isn’t an internal sexual problem to be treated with <a href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/yoni-eggs#:%7E:text=Yoni%20eggs%20are%20egg%2Dshaped,bacterial%20infections%20and%20intense%20pain.">mindfulness apps and jade eggs</a>, but rather one that needs effort from both partners. Other relationship factors are involved. We found children increased the workload for women, leading to lower relationship equity and consequently, lower sexual desire. Relationship length also played a role. Research shows long-term relationships are <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-018-1175-x">associated with</a> decreasing desire for women, and this is often attributed to the tedium of over-familiarity (think of the bored, sexless <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBq-Nyo0lQg">wives in 90s sitcoms</a>). However our research indicates relationship boredom is not the reason, with the increasing inequity over the course of a relationship often the cause of women’s disinterest in sex. The longer some relationships continue, the more unfair they become, lowering women’s desire. This may be because women take on managing their partner’s relationships, as well as their own (“It’s time we had your best friend over for dinner”). And while domestic housework may start as equally shared, over time, women <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/media-centre/media-releases/women-spent-more-time-men-unpaid-work-may">tend to do more</a> household tasks. <h2>What about same-sex couples?</h2> Same-sex couples have <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/fare.12293">more equitable relationships</a>. However, we found the same link between equity and desire for women in same-sex relationships, although it was much stronger for heteronormative couples. A sense of fairness within a relationship is fundamental to all women’s satisfaction and sexual desire. <h2>What happens next?</h2> Our findings suggest one response to low desire in women could be to address the amount of work women have to take on in relationships. The link between relationship satisfaction and female sexual desire has been firmly established in <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-018-1175-x">previous research</a> but our findings explain how this dynamic works: women’s sense of fairness within a relationship forecasts their contentment, which has repercussions on their desire for their partner. To translate our results into clinical practice, we could run trials to confirm if lowering women’s mental load results in greater sexual desire. We could have a “housework and mental load ban” for a sample of women reporting low sexual desire and record if there are changes in their reported levels of desire. Or perhaps women’s sexual partners could do the dishes tonight and see what happens. Image credit: Shutterstock This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-blame-women-for-low-libido-sexual-sparks-fly-when-partners-do-their-share-of-chores-including-calling-the-plumber-185401" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Relationships

Husband ordered to pay for 25 years of unpaid housework

A man has been ordered to pay his ex-wife a hefty six-figure sum for 25 years of unpaid domestic labour. Ivana Moral's ex-husband was ordered to pay her 204,624€ - or just over $327,000 AUD - in a record divorce settlement, based on the average minimum wage throughout their marriage. The separated couple, who live in Spain and share two daughters, took the issue to court as the ruling stated that Ivana had spent almost all of her time looking after their family and working as a housewife during their marriage. Ivana's husband must also pay her a pension of $797 (AUD) per month as well as $639 and $957 to his two daughters, who are now aged 20 and 14, for compensation for their childhoods. The mother-of-two, who married her ex in 1995 before asking for a divorce in 2020, has said she is happy with the payout after years of hard work. "Clearly this was a case of abuse to be completely excluded financially (by my ex-husband) with nothing left after my marriage ended, so me and my daughters were left with nothing after all these years of putting all my time, energy and love in the family," she told <a href="https://inews.co.uk/news/woman-payout-unpaid-housework-record-divorce-settlement-2193153" target="_blank" rel="noopener">inews</a>. "I was supporting my husband in his work and in the family as a mother and a father. I was never allowed access to his financial affairs; everything was in his name." Since getting married and starting a family, Ivana had dedicated herself "to essentially working in the home, which meant looking after the home and the family and all that involves," the court ruling said. The couple's marriage was governed by a separation of property regime, which Ms Moral's husband had asked her to sign at the start of their marriage, which is similar to a pre-nuptial agreement. It specified that whatever each party earned was theirs alone, with them only sharing possessions, which would have left Ms Moral with no access to any of the wealth acquired through years of partnership. Ivana said her husband "made me take on the specific role" of doing domestic chores, to the extent that "I was in a place where I couldn't really do much else." She also said the sentence had made her "very happy" because it was "very well deserved". Image credits: Malaga Tribune

Legal

Unpaid and unequal: women’s extra workload affects mental wellbeing

Women do the bulk of unpaid domestic work globally and the added burden has an impact on their mental health – but surprisingly there’s little independent empirical research about this. Now, there is data, which shows the double burden of paid and unpaid work results in increased depressive or psychological distress for women as unpaid labour increases. Researchers at the University of Melbourne reviewed the evidence for the gendered nature of unpaid work and consequences for mental health among employed adults, <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpub/article/PIIS2468-2667(22)00160-8/fulltext" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">publishing</a> their results in Lancet Public Health. Public health researcher and lead author, Jen Ervin, says the research showed women were uniformly doing more unpaid work across every geographical and time setting. “What our review tells us is that, in addition to the economic penalty women experience carrying out most of the world’s unpaid labour load, there is a troubling mental health cost as well,” she says. While further research is needed, Ervin says the most widely acknowledged explanation for the impact on mental health is that the combined paid and unpaid workload triggers stress-related pathways. It also reduces time for activities known to be protective for mental health such as sleep, leisure and physical activity. The findings won’t come as a surprise to many, especially women, she says. Indeed. The study follows <a href="https://findanexpert.unimelb.edu.au/news/47524-yet-again--the-census-shows-women-are-doing-more-housework.-now-is-the-time-to-invest-in-interventions" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">census data</a> confirming (once again) that Australian women do more hours of unpaid housework than men. And <a href="https://cew.org.au/2022-cew-census-an-urgent-wakeup-call-ceo-gender-balance-100-years-away/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">another report</a> this week commissioned by Chief Executive Women indicating caring responsibilities in the pandemic held back progress on women’s workforce participation and leadership. For what seems like an intractable problem, what can be done to change things? Ervin says, “we believe that policies such as universal childcare and normalising flexible working arrangements and extended paternity leave for men can help in shifting the dial and driving greater gender equality in the division of unpaid labour and unpaid care. <div class="newsletter-box"> <div id="wpcf7-f6-p205326-o1" class="wpcf7" dir="ltr" lang="en-US" role="form"> <form class="wpcf7-form mailchimp-ext-0.5.62 spai-bg-prepared init" action="/health/womens-unpaid-work-and-mental-health/#wpcf7-f6-p205326-o1" method="post" novalidate="novalidate" data-status="init"> <input class="wpcf7-form-control wpcf7-text referer-page" name="referer-page" type="hidden" value="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/" data-value="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/" aria-invalid="false" /> </form> </div> </div> “Some of these measures will also aid and facilitate the harder task of shifting some of the outdated attitudes and beliefs around labour division.” It’s important to note many men are taking a more active role in childcare and housework. But men can be limited in doing so by factors such as inflexible workplace arrangements or social stigma, she says. The University of Melbourne research focussed on employed adults, the ‘double burden’ effect of combining paid work with unpaid work, and how this subsequently creates issues of overload and time poverty. It found substantial gender differences. Of the 14 studies reviewed for the article – totalling more than 66,800 participants worldwide – five examined unpaid labour (inclusive of care), nine examined housework time and, of these, four also examined childcare. Overall, in 11 of the 14 studies, women self-reported increased depressive or psychological distress symptoms with increasing unpaid labour demands. For men, only three out of a possible 12 studies reported any negative association. An aspect not captured in the current review, Ervin says, is the difference in the gendered allocation of household tasks. For example, men often do less-time-sensitive outdoor or maintenance tasks such as mowing the lawn or cleaning the gutters. These jobs aren’t as time-pressured as feeding a hungry child or driving them to an appointment. And while more difficult to measure, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813?journalCode=ccwf20" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">other research</a> shows women are also often carrying more of the mental load of household labour. Unfortunately, Australia is lagging behind many other countries when it comes to key gender equality indicators such as unpaid labour division, Ervin says. This week a <a href="https://cew.org.au/2022-cew-census-an-urgent-wakeup-call-ceo-gender-balance-100-years-away/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">report</a> commissioned by Chief Executive Women drew attention to the lack of progress made by Australia’s top companies in appointing women to leadership roles. The report, prepared by management consultants Bain & Company, says 73% of executive roles in ASX300 companies are held by men, and 85% of line management roles. The report says COVID-19 set back women’s workforce participation, as they took on the bulk of the increased caring responsibilities. This is consistent with <a href="https://findanexpert.unimelb.edu.au/news/47524-yet-again--the-census-shows-women-are-doing-more-housework.-now-is-the-time-to-invest-in-interventions" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">findings</a> from other University of Melbourne research showing the “catastrophic” impact of the pandemic on women’s lives, especially for mothers. Restrictions such as school closures and remote learning added to the domestic workload for everyone, but the gender gap remained. Women, more often than men, reduced their paid work to meet the increased demands. The Murdoch Children’s Research Institute also <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/mental-health-maternal-lockdown/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">reported</a> maternal wellbeing was profoundly impacted by the pandemic, finding a third of women experienced clinically significant mental health problems during Victoria’s second lockdown, with ongoing fatigue and parenting stress.  <img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="opacity: 0; height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border: 0!important; position: absolute!important; z-index: -1!important;" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=205326&title=Unpaid+and+unequal%3A+women%26%238217%3Bs+extra+workload+affects+mental+wellbeing" width="1" height="1" />  <div id="contributors"> <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/womens-unpaid-work-and-mental-health/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">This article</a> was originally published on <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Cosmos Magazine</a> and was written by <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/contributor/petra-stock" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Petra Stock</a>. Petra Stock has a degree in environmental engineering and a Masters in Journalism from University of Melbourne. She has previously worked as a climate and energy analyst. Image: Getty Images </div>

Mind

Yet again, the census shows women are doing more housework. Now is the time to invest in interventions

The Australian Census numbers have been released, showing women typically do <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/census/find-census-data/community-profiles/2021/AUS/download/GCP_AUS.xlsx">many more hours of unpaid housework</a> per week compared to men. It’s not a new development. In <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/websitedbs/D3310114.nsf/home/2016+Census+National">2016</a>, the “typical” Australian man spent less than five hours a week on domestic work, while the “typical” Australian woman spent between five and 14 hours a week on domestic work. Before that, the <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/7d12b0f6763c78caca257061001cc588/c0e6e1069c8d24e9ca257306000d5b04!OpenDocument">2006 census</a>showed, again, that more of the domestic workload is shouldered by women. So, in the 15 years since the Australian Census <a href="https://www.theage.com.au/national/census-to-count-unpaid-work-20060226-ge1ty0.html">started collecting</a> unpaid housework time, women are shown to do more than men. Every. Single. Time. What is unique about these latest census numbers is Australians filled out their surveys during one of the greatest disruptors to work and home life – the COVID pandemic. <h2>Pandemic pressures</h2> We have a breadth of <a href="https://scholar.google.com.au/citations?hl=en&user=EHPbrxgAAAAJ&view_op=list_works&sortby=pubdate">research</a> showing the pandemic disrupted women’s – especially mothers’ – work and family lives, in catastrophic ways. Economic closures knocked women out of employment at <a href="https://arts.unimelb.edu.au/the-policy-lab/projects/projects/worsening">higher rates to men</a>, forcing them to rely more heavily on their savings and stimulus payments to make ends meet. All this while managing intensified housework, childcare and homeschooling. The <a href="https://read.dukeupress.edu/demography/article/59/1/1/286878/Research-Note-School-Reopenings-During-the-COVID">transition</a> to remote and hybrid learning meant mothers, not fathers, reduced their workloads to meet these newfound demands. Fathers picked up the slack in the home – doing <a href="https://theconversation.com/covid-forced-australian-fathers-to-do-more-at-home-but-at-the-same-cost-mothers-have-long-endured-154834">more housework</a> at the start of the pandemic and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1097184X21990737">holding it</a> over time. Yet, as my colleagues Brendan Churchill and Lyn Craig <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12497">show</a>, fathers increased their housework but so did mothers, meaning the gender gap in that time remained. So, while men should be applauded for doing more during the unique strains of the pandemic, we <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12727">show</a> mothers were the true heroes of the pandemic, stepping into added labour at the expense of their health and well-being. Quite simply, the pandemic placed unparalleled pressures on Australian families. So it is perhaps no surprise our surveys are showing <a href="https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/the-juggle-is-real-parents-want-greater-flexibility-in-return-to-office-20220325-p5a820.html">Australians are burnt out</a>. (As discussed in <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-give-mum-chocolates-for-mothers-day-take-on-more-housework-share-the-mental-load-and-advocate-for-equality-instead-182330">previous articles</a>, the chore divide in same-sex relationships is generally found to be more equal. But some critiques suggests even then, equality may suffer <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/16/upshot/same-sex-couples-divide-chores-much-more-evenly-until-they-become-parents.html">once kids are involved</a>.) <h2>Time for action</h2> So, where to now? We pay upwards of <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/mediareleasesbyReleaseDate/1B9C46E8DBFC05FFCA25847D0080F9A2?OpenDocument">$640 million dollars</a> every five years to document Australia through the census. And, in each of these surveys we find the same result – women are doing more housework than men. This <a href="https://theconversation.com/sorry-men-theres-no-such-thing-as-dirt-blindness-you-just-need-to-do-more-housework-100883">parallels decades of research</a> showing women do more housework, even when they are employed full-time, earn more money and especially <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.00479.x">once kids hit</a>the scene. Men have increased their <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-319-21635-5_2">housework</a> and <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/aifs-conference/fathers-and-work">childcare contributions</a> over time and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/00113921211012737?journalCode=csia&fbclid=IwAR0Vgrre91fTarMY_EFLmDl1iJk7hPms6p3FhfM0E0y52Bbe9bZqmJ7Gs1A">younger men want</a> to be more present, active and attentive in the home. Simply put: men want to step into greater care giving and women are suffering from “doing it all”. We have documented these trends for decades – enough. Now it is time for action. <h2>Creating a fair future</h2> These are the critical questions we are asking through <a href="https://www.unimelb.edu.au/futureofwork">The Future of Work Lab</a> at the University of Melbourne – how do we create a future that is fair to everyone, including women and mothers? A few key projects illuminate some of the next steps towards clear interventions. The first is to provide Australian families with a comprehensive safety net to support their care-giving lives. All of us will be, at some point, called upon to care for a loved one, friend, family member or colleague. At these moments, work becomes difficult and housework demands soar. So, providing <a href="https://theconversation.com/if-were-serious-about-supporting-working-families-here-are-three-policies-we-need-to-enact-now-105490">care-giving resources</a> beyond just paid time off is critical. This underscores the need for <ul> <li>universal free high-quality childcare</li> <li>paid caregiver leave, and/or </li> <li>better and longer term cash payments for caregivers.</li> </ul> Second, we need comprehensive policies that allow <a href="https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/flexible-families-workplace-equality">men to step</a> into care-giving roles without fear of retribution and penalty at work. Australians work more <a href="https://stats.oecd.org/Index.aspx?DataSetCode=AVE_HRS">annual hours</a>, on average, than their Canadian and United Kingdom counterparts, working hours more similar to the overwork culture of the United States. And, only <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/28/only-one-in-20-fathers-take-primary-parental-leave-in-australia">one in 20 Australian fathers</a> take paid parental leave following childbirth, an abysmal rate relative to other high-income countries. We can do better. The pandemic created the space for many men to step into larger care-giving roles with great pleasure and showed workplaces that flexible work is feasible. Next, the Australian workplace must become more supportive of men’s right to care. <h2>Unpaid domestic work and the mental load</h2> Finally, we must redress the challenges of unpaid domestic work and the <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">mental load</a> on women’s physical, mental and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813">economic health and well-being</a>. Perhaps tech holds some solutions. The demand is clearly there with some super impressive women building out concrete tech solutions to reduce the mental load and unpaid domestic work - like <a href="https://getmelo.app/">Melo’s mental load app</a> or <a href="https://www.yohana.com/">Yohana’s virtual concierges</a>. Others are using old tech solutions – like <a href="https://www.fairplaylife.com/the-cards">Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play</a> cards – to help couples equalise the often unseen, and undervalued household chores. We are working on a research project to understand the impact of these different resources on families’ unpaid domestic loads and lives more broadly. The census is valuable in showing us we remain unchanged. But, now, is a time to invest in intervention and innovation to make us better versions of ourselves into the future. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/yet-again-the-census-shows-women-are-doing-more-housework-now-is-the-time-to-invest-in-interventions-185488" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Home Hints & Tips

Is housework good for you?

We all know that physical activity is good for you, and people in high-income countries are (on average) not doing enough of it. But you don’t have to hit the gym to meet your daily exercise quota – a new study has suggested that housework might provide health benefits, particularly for older people. The study, <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://bmjopen.bmj.com/lookup/doi/10.1136/bmjopen-2021-052557" target="_blank">published</a> in BMJ Open, quizzed 489 people between 21 and 90 years of age, all of whom were living in Singapore and all of whom had fewer than five underlying conditions and no cognitive issues. The researchers, who are based at the Singapore Institute of Technology and the Geriatric Education and Research Institute in Singapore, used a series of simple clinical tests to assess participants’ physical and cognitive abilities. They also asked participants about the frequency and intensity of household chores they did, as well as other exercise they took part in. The researchers graded chores by intensity, with lower-energy tasks like washing up, tidying and cooking considered light activity, and tasks like window and floor cleaning, changing bedsheets, and painting considered heavier activity. Of those aged between 21 and 64, only a third of participants (36%, or 90 in total) met the daily recommended exercise total. Older participants fared slightly better, with 48% of those aged 65-90 meeting the target (or 116 people). But in both groups, nearly two-thirds of participants met this exercise target through housework alone – 61% of the younger people, and 66% of the older participants. In the older age group, more housework was associated with higher physical and mental ability – independent of how much other exercise you did. “Apart from a meaningful occupation, housework is also a component of instrumental activities of daily living – both key factors of successful ageing,” write the researchers in their paper. The researchers emphasise that this study can’t indicate causation – it’s not clear whether housework improves mental and physical ability, or if older people with better health do more housework. They say that more long-term research is needed to figure out this link.  <img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="opacity: 0; height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border: 0!important; position: absolute!important; z-index: -1!important;" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=173524&title=Is+housework+good+for+you%3F" alt="" width="1" height="1" />  <div id="contributors"> <a rel="noopener" href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/behaviour/is-housework-good-for-you/" target="_blank">This article</a> was originally published on <a rel="noopener" href="https://cosmosmagazine.com" target="_blank">Cosmos Magazine</a> and was written by <a rel="noopener" href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/contributor/ellen-phiddian" target="_blank">Ellen Phiddian</a>. Ellen Phiddian is a science journalist at Cosmos. She has a BSc (Honours) in chemistry and science communication, and an MSc in science communication, both from the Australian National University. Image: Getty Images </div>

Home & Garden

Why money can’t “buy” housework

A new study by Lancaster University has revealed that the way in which couples manage their money tells a story of “two marriages”, according to <a href="https://phys.org/news/2019-06-money-housework.html">Phys</a>. The research shows that the management of household finances and control of financial decisions are linked to the time spent by women and men doing household chores and routine housework. The study analysed data from more than 6,000 heterosexual couples aged 20 to 59. This is the first study to examine how the organisation of household finances intervenes between couples getting their money and housework done at home. "Housework provides a window into the 'checks and balances' of power and gender in couple relationships," said Dr. Hu, author of the study. "Men get away with not doing housework through both channels," explains Dr. Hu. "It puts women in a very compromising position as they are left to do the lion's share of housework." "Our research provides further evidence to show that despite women's participation in education and the labour market, this still has not yet translated into gender equality in housework at home," said Dr. Hu. "If men still monopolise the management of household finances and financial decisions, then things are unlikely to change," said Dr. Hu. "It's therefore important for everyone to be able to access their own earnings. "Educating and employing more women and settling the gender pay gap with gender equality flowing neatly into place at home as a result is certainly not the story this analysis is revealing."

Money & Banking

Census data reveals housework divide

Data from the 2016 census suggests there’s still a divide between the amount of unpaid domestic housework typical Australian men and women are doing each week. The figures suggest women still assume the lion’s share of the housework, between five and 14 hours a week, with men contributing less than five hours of work. Writing for The Conversation, University of Melbourne Sociology lecturer Dr Leah Ruppanner said, “Before we write these off as the bemoans of well-resourced first world problems, it is important to note that housework and the mental labour associated with its organisation have real and long-term economic consequences, particularly for women's employment.” Fairfax columnist Jessica Irvine also touched on the controversy this morning, writing, “But the fact remains: when it comes to domestic drudgery, Australia's women are still picking up the slack.” So, who are the 2.5 million laziest men in Australia? Irvine writes, “I obtained a postcode-by-postcode breakdown of the Aussie men contributing no domestic work in Australia. “Taking the crown – after excluding postcodes with fewer than 100 people – is the postcode of 5106 in Adelaide, home to Parafield Airport, a major pilot training facility, and a neighbouring suburb. “In second place, the Singleton Military Area in NSW, is home to 319 souls, of whom just 14 are women. Two thirds of the men here said they did no unpaid housework – I guess all that bed making and shoe polishing is part of the job – although zero women said the same. Two other military compounds, including HMAS Cerberus on the Mornington Peninsula and Blamey Barracks at Kapooka, near Wagga Wagga in NSW, also rank in the top 10. It's hard to label serving military men and women as "lazy". “Rounding out the list are three West Australian mining towns, including Barrow Island, home to the Gorgon Gas project and two universities, University of Queensland and University of NSW.” What are your thoughts? Do you believe household labour is equally distributed between the genders? Or is there more work to do?

Home & Garden

Doing housework adds three years to your life

Dutch researchers have found that housework can add years to your life – but only if you’re a woman. Women who clean, vacuum and do the laundry are likely to live three years longer. But housework appears to have little effect on men. Instead, research shows that men are better off gardening than doing housework to extend their longevity. They on average live 2.7 years longer, while working outside the home seems to have little effect on women. The University Medical Centre Rotterdam team studied the lifestyle of more than 7,000 men and women over decades. They found that a 55-year-old woman who does little around the house is likely to live to 83 but a woman who does housework will live on to the age of 86. Dr Klodian Dhana, who led the research team, said the differences “may partly be explained by the fact that men engaged in more gardening and women in domestic work”. Well, we can’t see this piece of health advice taking off! Related links: <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/home-garden/2016/09/how-often-you-really-should-wash-your-sheets-towels-and-curtains/">How often you really should wash your sheets, towels and curtains</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/home-garden/2016/08/20-fixes-for-household-problems/">20 must-know fixes for everyday household problems</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/home-garden/2016/08/how-to-clean-your-bathroom-like-a-professional/">How to clean your bathroom like a professional</a>

News

Man sues wife for not doing enough housework

A woman in Italy is facing six years in jail because of ex-husbands claims of "mistreatment of family". Anne del Bono, 42, is accused by former husband Vincenzo Altobelli of not pulling her weight around the house. The 46-year-old also says the mother-of-two was bone idle and unfairly denied him sex during their 20-year marriage. He complaints include dinner not being ready when he came home from work, and that she didn’t do enough cleaning, washing and ironing. In court papers lodged in the provincial town of Sonnino, in the Lazio region of central-southern Italy, Mr Altobelli said his estranged wife neglected his needs and “caused the family unnecessary suffering”. According to Italy's penal code, the law "punishes whoever mistreats a person in their family or a person entrusted to them for reasons of education, care or custody." Ms del Bono will appear in court in October. Related links: <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/relationships/2016/01/words-about-love-that-dont-have-english-equivalent/">12 words about love that don’t have an English equivalent</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/relationships/2015/12/famous-quotes-about-marriage/">13 famous quotes about marriage</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/relationships/2016/01/science-behind-couples-who-die-together/">There’s a science behind couple that die close together</a>

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Clever cleaning tips that will change the way you do housework

These clever cleaning tips will save your hours in cleaning time while still ensuring your home is spic and span. 1. For tough carpet stains that can’t seem to come out, place a damp cloth over the stain and iron over it. The warmth of the iron breaks apart the dirt. 2. To ensure all those pesky food particles are off the cutting board, halve a lemon and run over board. Sprinkle sea salt across the board and rub the salt into board to dislodge any remaining food particles. Wash with soap and water and dry. 3. To quickly clean and de-clog shower heads, grab a small plastic bag and fill with white vinegar. Tie around showerhead and leave for two hours. Remove bag and wipe showerhead with water. 4. To clean your mattress, vacuum surface and then sprinkle bicarbonate soda over the top. Sit for two hours and then vacuum bicarb soda off. 5. Don’t destroy a perfectly good sponge when cleaning your cheese grated. Grab a potato and grate that instead! The oxalic acid in potatoes dislodges any gunk and residue on the grater. 6. Got a grimy microwave? Fill a bowl with one part water and one part vinegar and microwave on high for two minutes. Wipe down microwave and the grime will come right off. 7. To clean blinds, take an old but clean sock and dip it in mixture of one part water and one part vinegar. Wipe down the individual slates, using another old sock to dry slats off. 8. Make your blender clean itself by adding some warm water and dish soap into it. Blend for a few seconds and rinse. 9. To clean your toothbrush, place it head down into a mixture of one part vinegar to two parts water. Let sit for half an hour and then rinse. 10. Eliminate tile grout with this home remedy. Mix together 3/4 cups of bicarb soda with 1/4 cup of bleach to create a thick paste. Use a brush to apply paste onto grout. Let sit for 10 minutes and apply mixture again. Sit for a further 10 minutes and then rinse mixture off walls. 11. Clean up your coffee grinder by throwing in some uncooked white rice, grinding it and then wiping down. 12. Want a quick way to clean piles of plastic toys? Throw them into your dish washer on a short wash cycle. Related links: <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/home-garden/2015/11/10-ingenious-gardening-tricks/">10 ingenious gardening tricks</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/home-garden/2015/11/tips-save-energy-in-summer/">How to stay cool and save energy this summer</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/home-garden/2015/11/plants-that-are-hard-to-kill/">8 plants that are near impossible to kill</a>

News

Watch this dog doing the housework

Hazel Carter has spent her life training dogs, but not in the way you might expect. While some are content to have their canine companions “sit” and “shake a paw” Carter has trained her Newfoundland dog, Chloe to complete basic housekeeping tasks. The idea came to Carter as a solution for her dog’s sustained injuries, in hope that with purpose, the dog would avoid boredom and depression. The talented pooch can do laundry, close doors, throw out trash, remove shoes, and fetch household products. That’s more than some humans choose to do! Related links: <a href="/news/news/2015/08/aphrodisiac-study/">Scientists discover which “aphrodisiacs" actually work</a> <a href="/news/news/2015/08/senior-man-swims-to-wedding/">79-year-old man swims 800 metres to get to his wedding</a> <a href="/news/news/2015/08/russian-animal-children-photos/">Amazing photos that capture the relationship between children and animals</a>

News

Seniors open doors to needy in exchange for housework

A Homeshare program between seniors and low-income singles might be the unorthodox answer to Melbourne’s housing crisis. The Commonwealth and State government-backed pilot scheme offers low-income singles rent-free homes with senior citizens in exchange for 10 hours of household chores a week, such as cleaning, gardening, shopping or cooking. It’s a win-win for all those involved. It lowers the number of people in nursing homes, lets seniors live independently, while also easing the rental stress. “It is about people being able to stay in their home, keep a pet, with their garden and all the things they love – it really is something that is sensational for the older person,” says Jo Jones, the program manager for Care Connect, the not-for-profit organisation rolling out the program. “It can really help both sides because we have a housing crisis, we’ve got accommodation crisis. “If someone can go in and do homeshare for a few years, work and save for a mortgage or study, it is fantastic.” Rose, 85, and Olympia, 49, found each other through a Care Connection match and now live together in Rose’s home in Rosanna. It provides stability for Olympia who just returned from Greece after three decades, while Rose is happy she doesn’t have to move into a nursing home. “I have a big house and they would not let me live on my own,” Rose said. “Olympia is such a wonderful carer, and I didn’t want to go into a nursing home. I have all friends living near me and all my belongings here.” Photo credit: Herald Sun Related links: <a href="/news/news/2015/06/basketball-dropped-from-130-metres-in-air/">World-record moment a basketball trick-shot specialist drops a ball from 130 metres – and gets it in the hoop</a> <a href="/news/news/2015/06/strangest-gifts-celebrities-received/">15 of the strangest gifts celebrities have recieved from fans</a> <a href="/news/news/2015/06/man-donates-wedding-dress/">A man donated his late wife's beautiful wedding dress to charity along with a touching note</a>

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Don’t give mum chocolates for Mother’s Day. Take on more housework, share the mental load and advocate for equality instead

Don’t blame women for low libido. Sexual sparks fly when partners do their share of chores – including calling the plumber

Husband ordered to pay for 25 years of unpaid housework

Unpaid and unequal: women’s extra workload affects mental wellbeing

Yet again, the census shows women are doing more housework. Now is the time to invest in interventions

Is housework good for you?

Why money can’t “buy” housework

Census data reveals housework divide

Doing housework adds three years to your life

Man sues wife for not doing enough housework

Clever cleaning tips that will change the way you do housework

Watch this dog doing the housework

Seniors open doors to needy in exchange for housework

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