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Refinancing your home later in life – what you need to know

There are many reasons why you may look to refinance your home. The obvious one is to lower mortgage repayments with a better rate. However, other reasons people refinance later in life include: <ul> <li>unlocking equity to invest</li> <li>paying down other debts</li> <li>buying a holiday home</li> <li>funding extended travel</li> <li>launching a new business</li> <li>supporting children with a property deposit</li> </ul> Regardless of why you want to refinance, the points below will help you navigate your options. Changing lenders It may have been a while since you last revisited your mortgage, meaning you may not be aware of current lending options and traps. A common trick lenders use is the so-called “headline rate” to grab your attention. However, this interest rate is typically not what you end up paying. It may only be an introductory rate for the first few months, or hefty fees attached may wipe out any savings. Banks aren’t the only ones offering loans nowadays. Registered non-bank lenders, fintechs and online lenders can refinance your mortgage and provide other credit services the same as any bank; they just don’t take cash deposits. Alternatively, you could explore credit unions and mutual societies. Also consider any shareholder benefits you may have. Most banks have done away with them now but may still honour pre-existing ones. If you change lenders, you could lose this entitlement – permanently. Reverse mortgages Generally, only available to people aged 60-plus, a reverse mortgage effectively allows you to unlock equity in your home without you needing to make immediate repayments. However, they often have strict conditions including: <ul> <li>minimum borrowing amounts</li> <li>maximum borrowing ratios</li> <li>higher interest rates than standard mortgages</li> </ul> Crucially, the interest accrues over time and is repaid when you sell, move or pass away. As such, your debt liability grows over time – potentially impacting your future living arrangements and how much is left for beneficiaries in your will. The Govt has the “loan equity scheme” as another option to lenders. I just want to highlight the need to be careful with reverse mortgages. Changing homes Rather than selling, downsizing could involve making an investment property your primary residence and then renting out your existing home. This approach may require you to refinance both loans simultaneously. There will also be tax considerations to work through – including Capital Gains Tax liabilities when you do sell, negative gearing, depreciation, and changes to your income tax. Then there are the lifestyle factors to weigh up, especially if you are moving to a different area: <ul> <li>living expenses</li> <li>insurance and travel costs</li> <li>access to healthcare</li> <li>rental income</li> <li>property management expenses</li> </ul> Remember that if you have a Self Managed Super Fund (SMSF), it CANNOT own any property that you directly use yourself, including your home. Becoming Bank of Mum and Dad Refinancing can unlock equity to support adult children with their first property deposit. However, it isn’t without its risks. Ask yourself honestly: <ul> <li>Will this be a gift or loan?</li> <li>If a loan, under what terms? Will interest be applied? How and when will repayments be made? What if they default?</li> <li>What happens if their relationship breaks down, will you get your money back?</li> <li>How does going without that money affect your retirement?</li> <li>Do you have alternative assets to support you if your circumstances change?</li> <li>How does this affect inheritances or deposit contributions to your other children?</li> <li>Can you assist them another way without using your home equity?</li> </ul> Draw up a written agreement outlining all conditions and scenarios to avoid disagreements in the future. Pension impacts Don’t overlook how refinancing your home could impact your pension. While your home is exempt from the means test, any income or assets you generate from unlocking equity is not. You could inadvertently see your pension amount reduced or your eligibility voided altogether. This would come as a nasty shock if you haven’t pre-budgeted for such a change! Getting advice To ensure you get the best bang for your buck when refinancing, be sure to enlist the help of a good: <ul> <li>mortgage broker to source the best loans for your circumstances</li> <li>insurance broker to ensure your cover is right sized for your needs, risk and budget</li> <li>accountant to work through any tax implications</li> <li>estate planner to manage any changes</li> <li>financial adviser to keep your investments and financial strategy working for you</li> </ul> Ultimately, decisions – including about refinancing – are only as good the information you have at hand. So, make sure you have all the relevant facts before signing on the dotted line. Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of the new book, Money For Life: How to build financial security from firm foundations (Major Street Publishing $32.99). Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at <a style="color: #467886;" title="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au/" href="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au/">www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au</a> Disclaimer: The information in this article is of a general nature only and does not constitute personal financial or product advice. Any opinions or views expressed are those of the authors and do not represent those of people, institutions or organisations the owner may be associated with in a professional or personal capacity unless explicitly stated. Helen Baker is an authorised representative of BPW Partners Pty Ltd AFSL 548754.

Money & Banking

Flight attendant's act after touchdown divides social media users

A United Airlines flight attendant has copped some flak online for playing the violin after touching down in California. The unnamed crew member welcomed travellers to the Bay Area by playing a cheery tune as people got up to disembark from the flight, and while his performance was met with a round of applause from passengers, others weren't quite as pleased. “It was a definite pleasant surprise and welcome change compared to all the news we hear from airlines these days,” the Redditor captioned the clip of the performance shared online. While some viewers agreed it was “lovely” and “awesome,” others found the behaviour “unsettling,” calling the flight attendant “self-indulgent”. “What a sly move,” one wrote. “He has everyone sitting, captivated by his music, while he slowly walks down the aisle with anyone in his way and exiting the plane first.” “Just because I’m trapped and sitting doesn’t mean I have any desire to be serenaded,” another commented. “This would be annoying as hell,” wrote a third. “Can’t imagine breaking out into song on any instrument on a flight." “Honestly I’d struggle not to tell him to sit down and shut the f**k up,” commented another. However, others jumped to the flight attendant's defence, saying: “Of course super mean people as usual telling him to sit down and shut up." “My guess is he actually likes the passengers and is very friendly and kind,” another added, praising the crew member for trying to "entertain passengers." “Not like he’s making much with working at one of the lowest paying mainlines. Yet he has a good attitude despite it.” Images: Reddit

Travel Trouble

‘A virtual seat at the family table’: why older people are among the biggest users of social media

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bernardo-figueiredo-336532">Bernardo Figueiredo</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/torgeir-aleti-92509">Torgeir Aleti</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a> The Australian government’s <a href="https://theconversation.com/australias-social-media-ban-for-kids-under-16-just-became-law-how-it-will-work-remains-a-mystery-244736">recent decision to ban under 16s</a> from social media has focused attention on the harms it can cause – especially for young people. But young people are just one segment of the population who use social media. According to the <a href="https://wearesocial.com/au/blog/2024/01/digital-2024/">Digital 2024 report</a>, 78.3% of Australians regularly use platforms such as Facebook and Instagram – mainly for keeping in touch with friends and family. Perhaps surprisingly, a large proportion of these users are older people. For example, the Digital 2024 report also shows that 21.3% of Meta’s ad audience in Australia (on Messenger, Facebook and Instagram) are 55 years or older. This makes it the second largest age group after 25–34 year olds (25.4%). So what does research say about how social media affects older people’s social lives and wellbeing? <h2>The growing presence of older adults on social media</h2> <a href="https://www.digitalinclusionindex.org.au/digital-inclusion-the-australian-context-in-2023/">The digital divide is shrinking</a> as older generations embrace social media. <a href="https://www.benetas.com.au/news/digial-habits-of-older-australians">According to data from earlier this year</a>, more than 70% of Australians aged 65 and older use social media to some degree. <a href="https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/research/surveys_statistics/technology/2023/2023-tech-trends.doi.10.26419-2Fres.00584.001.pdf">Facebook remains the most popular</a> among this demographic, serving as a gateway to reconnect with family and long-lost friends. Beyond reconnecting, <a href="https://apo.org.au/node/313717">our research indicates</a> older adults often use these platforms to share memories, participate in community groups and access news. This growing trend is driven by both internal and external factors. <a href="https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/oir-06-2021-0332/full/html">Research shows</a> many older users are motivated by the desire to stay connected with their families, particularly grandchildren, who often share their lives through social media. For others, the COVID pandemic <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-05-18/are-we-headed-to-a-cashless-economy-post-coronavirus/12244846">accelerated the adoption of digital tools</a>, making social media a lifeline during periods of isolation. <h2>Enhanced connection</h2> <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-024-02048-7">A recent study</a> found positive associations between internet use and mental health among older adults in 23 countries. Social media, in particular, works by: 1. Maintaining family ties. Social media provides older adults with a virtual seat at the family table. By viewing photos, videos and updates, <a href="https://theconversation.com/video-chats-can-ease-social-isolation-for-older-adults-during-coronavirus-pandemic-135890">they can remain engaged with their loved ones’ lives</a>, no matter the physical distance. Platforms such as WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger are particularly popular for private family group chats, enabling older adults to exchange messages and share moments in real time. 2. Rekindling old friendships. Platforms such as Facebook have proven effective in <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/10510974.2021.1975143?needAccess=true">reconnecting older adults with long-lost friends</a>. For many, revisiting old relationships provides a sense of nostalgia and belonging. Studies have shown such interactions can <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32700541/">bolster feelings of inclusion</a> and reduce loneliness, a significant concern for ageing populations. 3. Building new communities. Social media groups dedicated to specific interests such as gardening, photography or travel offer older adults opportunities to form new connections. <a href="https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/jkm-02-2021-0087/full/html">These virtual communities</a> are inclusive spaces where members exchange advice, share experiences and foster friendships based on shared hobbies. <h2>Improved well-being</h2> Social media’s ability to foster connection among older adults <a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8465959/#B7-healthcare-09-01143">directly impacts their wellbeing</a>. Regular online interactions can reduce feelings of loneliness and depression, providing a sense of purpose and belonging. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10410236.2020.1859722">Research shows</a> active participation, such as posting photos, is associated with a feeling of competence in older users, which is related to well-being. For some, becoming “<a href="https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/80-years-old-with-11-million-followers-meet-tiktok-s-granfluencers-20230602-p5ddje.html">grandfluencers</a>” on platforms like Instagram or TikTok introduces an unexpected avenue for creative expression and social influence. Online forums are also gaining traction as a tool for health information and advocacy. <a href="https://www.jmir.org/2013/2/e35">Older adults participate in support groups</a> for chronic conditions, share wellness tips and even engage in civic discussions. This demonstrates social media platforms’ broader potential beyond social interaction. <h2>Online challenges</h2> Despite its benefits, social media is not without challenges for older adults. For some, navigating the complex interface of platforms can be intimidating. <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2076-0760/13/9/496">Our research</a> shows half of older adults feel anxious about using communication technologies, with older women experiencing more anxiety than older men. Issues such as <a href="https://apo.org.au/sites/default/files/resource-files/2021-08/apo-nid313717.pdf">privacy concerns, misinformation and online scams can also create barriers to engagement</a>. Additionally, while social media facilitates connection, it <a href="https://agsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jgs.18546">cannot replace the depth of face-to-face interactions</a>. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/14413582231187652">Our research</a> shows those with higher digital literacy are more likely to experience the positive effects of social media because of ongoing “self-socialisation” without having to interact with others, which might undermine learning and confidence. For others, initiatives aimed at <a href="https://www.dss.gov.au/improving-digital-skills-older-australians/resource/evaluation-be-connected">improving digital skills among older adults</a> – such as digital mentoring programs – can significantly enhance their confidence and ability to engage safely online. <h2>A bridge and a barrier</h2> Social media can keep older adults connected. But its impact <a href="https://karger.com/ger/article/59/4/378/149065/Social-Media-Use-of-Older-Adults-A-Mini-Review">depends on how it is used</a>. For many, it serves as a vital link to family, friends and new communities, enriching their social lives and reducing isolation. However, to unlock its full potential, addressing barriers such as digital literacy and online safety are crucial. As the world becomes increasingly digital, <a href="https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/jsm-12-2022-0393/full/html?skipTracking=true">empowering older adults</a> to engage meaningfully with social media will ensure they remain not only connected but also active participants in a rapidly evolving social landscape.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/245156/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bernardo-figueiredo-336532">Bernardo Figueiredo</a>, Associate Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/torgeir-aleti-92509">Torgeir Aleti</a>, Senior Lecturer in Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-virtual-seat-at-the-family-table-why-older-people-are-among-the-biggest-users-of-social-media-245156">original article</a>. </div>

Technology

Social media star Pesto the penguin celebrates first birthday

Social media star Pesto the penguin, who has earned an army of online followers for his big and fluffy appearance, is turning one. The King Penguin, who calls the Sea Life Melbourne Aquarium home, has celebrated his birthday with a slimmed down look, worlds away from the 23.5 kilogram big boy who went viral in 2024. "It's kind of crazy how fast this year has gone, it feels like only yesterday that he hatched out of his little egg," Sea Life Aquarium Melbourne's Catherine Bushell told Today. "He only weighed around 200 grams, then went up to 23.5 kilograms at his heaviest and now back down to around 16 kilograms." Pesto's special day will be celebrated on Friday, which also happens to be Sea Life Aquarium Melbourne's 25th anniversary. "It's going to be a pretty big day, lots of celebration going on both in and out of the exhibit. Pesto has got a jelly cake today and lots of fun enrichment for he and the rest of his colony to enjoy," she said. "There's also lots of fun for the people, our first 1000 guests today will all get a free cupcake, but the party's going on all weekend, we've got a DJ and all sorts of celebrations happening tomorrow as well, so it will certainly be a party fit for a king." Image credits: Instagram

Family & Pets

From securing pets to building ‘insect hotels’ – here are 7 ways to attract birds to your garden

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rochelle-steven-22148">Rochelle Steven</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/murdoch-university-746">Murdoch University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/david-newsome-117672">David Newsome</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/murdoch-university-746">Murdoch University</a> Home gardens can provide vital habitat for Australian birds. But there’s more to it than just planting certain types of shrubs and flowering trees. After decades of encouragement to include native plants in home gardens, urban environments have come to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2351989423003700">favour certain species</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1442-9993.2006.01584.x">neglect others</a> including some of our most loved birds, such as fairy-wrens. Birds that thrive on nectar such as honeyeaters, and bossy birds with bold personalities such as noisy miners, some parrots and magpies, tend to dominate the scene. But it doesn’t have to be this way. We wanted to explore how urban gardens can best support a wider range of Australian birds. <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10531-025-03011-2">Our new review</a> of research on this topic revealed seven key considerations. These fall into two themes: reducing threats and improving habitat. We found there’s no point doing just the good things (such as plantings) if we don’t stop doing the bad things (such as killing insects, poisoning owls and letting cats hunt). It’s like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it. So let’s acknowledge the complexity of nature and take a broader approach to attracting birds to our gardens, by ticking off the items on this shopping list. <h2>1. Secure pets</h2> Domestic cats kill <a href="https://www.publish.csiro.au/wr/pdf/WR19174">millions of Australian birds every year</a>. So no matter how innocent your cat looks, it remains a highly evolved predator. The only guaranteed way to protect birds and other wildlife from cats is to keep them contained inside or in purpose-built enclosures, 24 hours a day. You can find out about building your own cat enclosure from <a href="https://agriculture.vic.gov.au/livestock-and-animals/animal-welfare-victoria/cats/enclosures-and-fencing/building-a-cat-enclosure-attached-to-an-existing-structure">government</a> and <a href="https://catiospaces.com/catios-cat-enclosures/cat-behavior-enrichment/build-diy-catio-plan-for-your-cat/">retail</a> experts online. Dogs can also stop birds taking up residence in your garden. The mere <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.landurbplan.2013.10.005">presence of a dog can deter some birds</a>. Keeping dogs contained at night can reduce the level of disturbance to nocturnal birds. But if you really want to attract birds to your garden, you may choose to keep your dog inside more. <h2>2. Avoid using insecticides and outside lights</h2> Many flying and ground-dwelling insects are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2002549117">in decline</a>. This is bad news for many birds including fairy-wrens, willie wagtails, fantails and robins who rely almost entirely on insects for food. But we can avoid using insecticides or any other form of lethal control such as bug zappers in our own gardens. Ideally, accept insects as a natural part of your garden. Don’t try to deter them, unless they pose a risk to public safety, such as swarming European honeybees or hordes of European wasps. You can also consider favouring native plants that naturally are resisitant to unwanted insect attack. Excess artificial light is also taking a toll on insects. Consider whether you really need to leave that outdoor light on all night. Review your existing outdoor lighting using the <a href="https://darksky.org/resources/guides-and-how-tos/lighting-principles/">five principles for responsible outdoor lighting</a>, ensuring all artificial light is useful, targeted, low-level, controlled and warm-coloured. <h2>3. Stop poisoning raptors</h2> The use of rat poison, especially those labelled as “fast action”, is <a href="https://theconversation.com/rat-poison-is-killing-our-beloved-native-owls-and-tawny-frogmouths-and-thats-the-tip-of-the-iceberg-212184">killing native owls</a> and other <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.scitotenv.2021.147673">birds of prey</a> at an alarming rate due to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.scitotenv.2018.06.207">secondary poisoning</a>. In other words, raptors are dying after eating rats and mice that have taken the bait. Many countries have regulated the sale and use of these products for this reason, but Australia is lagging behind. So if you “give a hoot” about our owls, <a href="https://kb.rspca.org.au/knowledge-base/what-is-the-most-humane-way-to-kill-pest-rats-and-mice/">switch to snap traps</a>. There are also various other effective, humane and efficient <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-control-invasive-rats-and-mice-at-home-without-harming-native-wildlife-180792">options</a> available, including removing unwanted fruit from the ground, keeping sheds tidy, and securing compost bins to keep rodents under control. <h2>4. Prevent window strikes</h2> Birds can fly into windows when they’re unable to differentiate between the glass and the surrounding environment. Strikes may be lethal upon impact or result in injury. A stunned bird is also more vulnerable to predators. In Australia, bird lovers can <a href="https://birdlife.org.au/preventing-bird-strike/#:%7E:text=Why%20do%20birds%20collide%20with,help%20solve%20this%20problem%20too.">reduce the risk</a> by using <a href="https://store.birdlife.org.au/product/anti-collision-bird-stickers/">decals</a> which are decorative stickers intended <a href="https://www.sureguard.com.au/page/birds-eye-view-window-strike-deflector">for windows</a>. Screens, hanging plants or mobiles can also be placed in front of windows to help the birds avoid collisions. <h2>5. Create an inclusive garden</h2> The diversity in Australian birds extends to their diets. Beyond honeyeaters, the nation is home to huge numbers of insectivores, carnivores, seed-eaters and fruit peckers. Australian gardens typically have plenty of bottlebrush and grevilleas, which <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biocon.2004.06.004">stacks the deck in the bold honeyeaters’ favour</a>. So when buying new garden plants, try catering for a wider variety of bird species. Choose dense shrubs with small white, yellow or blue flowers to attract insects. These bushy plants also make excellent habitat for small birds. Retaining trees ensures our larger birds have nesting sites too. If you get the garden design right, with a variety of plants to suit all tastes, there is <a href="https://birdlife.org.au/a-guide-to-feeding-wild-birds-in-australia/?srsltid=AfmBOooHbf9Du1CarsSg044tVUVFxfBdopOwrOmELrQWcCSdwfKv432v">no need to feed the birds</a>. <h2>6. Encourage insects</h2> <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-11-09/blue-banded-bee-australian-insect-of-the-year-inaugral-vote/104572938">Native bees</a> and flies play a crucial role in ecosystems, both as pollinators and food for birds. You can provide insects with nesting habitat in the form of insect “hotels”, food (namely flowers and other insects) and safety from pesticides. These <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biocon.2015.05.003">small gestures can make a huge difference</a>. <h2>7. Water the birds too</h2> With the <a href="https://climatekids.nasa.gov/heat-islands/">urban heat island</a> effect and growing frequency of extreme heat waves, birds are in need of reliable sources of fresh water. Offer this <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11252-024-01530-4">crucial resource</a> in a water feature such as a bird bath or pond. <h2>Whole neighbourhoods for birds</h2> Your garden has never been more important for birds. Doing your bit in your own backyard can make a visible difference – you will see the birds for yourself. But true conservation gains can only be made when people work together at a larger scale. Why not start a conversation with your neighbour about attracting birds to your garden? Creating one garden for birds is great, but when we start talking about whole neighbourhoods for birds, that’s magic!<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/247561/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rochelle-steven-22148">Rochelle Steven</a>, Lecturer in Environmental Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/murdoch-university-746">Murdoch University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/david-newsome-117672">David Newsome</a>, Assoc. Professor of Environmental Science, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/murdoch-university-746">Murdoch University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/from-securing-pets-to-building-insect-hotels-here-are-7-ways-to-attract-birds-to-your-garden-247561">original article</a>. </div>

Home & Garden

TikTok influencer arrested after sick act to boost followers

A Queensland TikTok influencer has been arrested after being accused of poisoning a one-year-old girl for her own benefit. The 34-year-old Sunshine Coast woman allegedly gave several unauthorised prescription and pharmacy medicines to the young girl, resulting in her falling ill. "While the child was being subject to immense distress and pain, it is alleged the woman filmed and posted videos of the child," police said in a statement. "It is alleged the content produced exploited the child and was used to entice monetary donations and online followers." Detective Inspector Paul Dalton said the little girl was already in hospital with a genuine illness, when medical staff suspected that something was wrong. On January 7, they tested her for unauthorised medicines, and found that the result was positive. Police allege the medicines were given to the one-year-old girl between August 6 and October 15 last year. "There are no words to describe just how repulsive offences of this nature are," Dalton said. "There is no excuse for hurting a child, particularly one so young." The woman is accused of raising around $60,000 through GoFundMe, with Dalton confirming that they are working towards returning the money to those who have donated. "We've been dealing with GoFundMe, I understand through my investigators that they are making attempts to repay that money to the people through the kindness of their heart who have donated that money," Dalton said. "We will be seeking that money back in restitution should she be convicted at a later date," Dalton said. He also confirmed that the young girl and her siblings are "safe" and "the child's going well" but did not reveal who was caring for them. The woman has been charged with five counts of administering poison with intent to harm, three counts of preparation to commit crimes with dangerous things, and one count each of torture, making child exploitation material and fraud. She remains in custody and has been denied bail. Image: Queensland Police

Legal

Awkwardness can hit in any social situation – here are a philosopher’s 5 strategies to navigate it with grace

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alexandra-plakias-1512990">Alexandra Plakias</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/hamilton-college-2966">Hamilton College</a> The holidays offer many opportunities for awkward moments. Political discussions, of course, hold plenty of potential. But any time opinions differ, where estrangements have caused lingering rifts, or when behaviors veer toward the inappropriate, awkwardness can set in. Awkwardness is what happens in social interactions when you suddenly find yourself without a script to guide you through. Maybe the situation is new or catches you off guard. Maybe you don’t know what’s expected of you, or you aren’t sure what role you’re playing in the social drama around you. It’s characterized by feelings of self-consciousness, uncertainty and discomfort. As a <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=vyBxhaQAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">philosopher who studies moral psychology</a>, I’m interested in awkwardness because I wanted to understand the ways social discomfort stops people from engaging with difficult topics and challenging conversations. Awkwardness seems to inhibit people, even when their moral values suggest they should speak up. But it has a positive role to play, too – it <a href="https://www.collectiveinkbooks.com/zer0-books/our-books/awkwardness">can alert people to areas where their social norms are lacking</a> or outdated. People often blame themselves when things take a turn toward the awkward. But awkwardness is really a collective failure – people aren’t awkward, situations are. And they become awkward because you don’t have the resources to navigate your way through tricky social situations. Awkwardness is often confused with embarrassment, but the two are different in important ways, and so are their remedies. Embarrassment is a response to <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2772920">a personal failing or gaffe</a>, and the <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/born_to_blush">right response is to acknowledge it, own it and move on</a>. Because awkwardness is caused by a lack of social guidance, you can try to anticipate and head it off before it happens, or you can respond to it by trying to develop better or clearer social scripts to help you – and others – navigate similar situations in the future. After researching and writing an entire <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/oso/9780197683606.001.0001">book on awkwardness</a>, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not something we can – or should – avoid altogether. But there are a few strategies people can use to minimize awkwardness and deal with it when it does, inevitably, happen. <h2>1. Know your goals, know your roles</h2> Uncertainty is the oxygen of awkwardness. Before you engage in a potentially awkward or contentious interaction, ask yourself: What do I want to get out of this? When you’re clear on your goals for the interaction, not only are you better able to perform your role in it, but you’re also giving clearer signals to others, helping them perform their roles in the unfolding social drama. So, if you’re worried it’ll be awkward when your uncle starts in on his annual political rant, think about what you want the outcome to be. Do you want to convince him he’s wrong? Unlikely to happen. Do you want other family members to feel less anxious? Do you want your own views to be heard? I’m not suggesting that some forethought will make things go smoothly or guarantee that no one’s feelings will be hurt. But it will help you feel more confident in your ability to navigate toward your desired outcome. <h2>2. There’s no ‘I’ in awkward</h2> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1368430212441637">Awkward situations</a> breed <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/14780887.2010.500357">intense self-consciousness</a>. This is both uncomfortable and counterproductive. By focusing on yourself, you’re not attuned to the people around you or the signals they’re sending – signals that could offer you a pathway out of the awkward situation. So make sure you’re paying attention to the other players in the drama, not just your own discomfort. <h2>3. Plan, coordinate and be explicit</h2> People do so much planning in other areas of their lives, yet they expect social interactions to just flow effortlessly. But like a vacation or a hike in the woods, sometimes a conversation goes better when you approach it with a map. Have some go-to topics or questions at hand. And you don’t have to go it alone. If you’re worried about broaching a sensitive topic, or interacting with a particularly prickly guest, coordinate with a friend or relative. If you expect to see someone with whom you have an unresolved relationship – an estranged family member, an old friend you ghosted – try to do some prep work in advance. Emails or letters can give people a chance to process reactions without putting them on the spot. Even having a scripted activity on deck can make things less awkward. It doesn’t have to be anything formal, like a board game. Just keep some tasks available for guests who might otherwise lurk uncomfortably – like shaking up the salad dressing or putting forks on the table. <h2>4. Laugh it off</h2> If, despite your best efforts, awkwardness does strike, offer people a way out – they’ll probably grab it. This doesn’t need to be momentous; it could be a little joke, a small-talk topic, or even – and only if things get very desperate – knocking a spoon off the table to break the silence. <h2>5. Consider the alternatives</h2> These strategies might help you avoid awkwardness. But take a moment to consider whether you really want to. Awkwardness is the result of social uncertainty; it slows things down and curbs your confidence. In its absence, other emotions can set in. Having things out in the open can be a relief, but it can also lead to anger, sadness and other feelings that might best be saved for another occasion. So if things are awkward, it’s worth looking around to see what role that awkwardness is playing, and what might take its place if it’s gone.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/244107/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alexandra-plakias-1512990">Alexandra Plakias</a>, Associate Professor of Philosophy, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/hamilton-college-2966">Hamilton College</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/awkwardness-can-hit-in-any-social-situation-here-are-a-philosophers-5-strategies-to-navigate-it-with-grace-244107">original article</a>. </div>

Mind

Australia passes world-first social media ban for children under-16

Children under-16 will be banned from using social media from the end of next year, after the world-first legislation passed the parliament on Thursday. The law means that anyone under the age of 16 will be blocked from using platforms including TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook among others, and will make the platforms liable with fines of up to $50 million for failing to prevent these children from holding social media accounts. The Senate passed the bill 34 votes to 19 last Thursday, with The House of Representatives approving the legislation by 102 votes to 13 on Wednesday. The platforms will have one year to work out how to implement the ban before penalties are enforced, however the laws have received mixed reviews from tech companies and mental health experts alike. Meta Platforms, which owns Facebook and Instagram, said the legislation had been “rushed.” Digital Industry Group Inc., an advocate for the platforms in Australia, also questioned how it would work and the impact it would have on children. “The social media ban legislation has been released and passed within a week and, as a result, no one can confidently explain how it will work in practice – the community and platforms are in the dark about what exactly is required of them,” DIGI managing director Sunita Bose said. The platforms cannot force people to provide government-issued identity documents, including the Digital ID, to assess their age. “This policy will hurt vulnerable young people the most, especially in regional communities and especially the LGBTQI community, by cutting them off,” Greens senator David Shoebridge said. Mental health experts agreed that the social media ban could dangerously isolate children who used social media to find support. Christopher Stone, executive director of Suicide Prevention Australia, added the legislation failed to consider positive aspects of social media in supporting young people's mental health. “The government is running blindfolded into a brick wall by rushing this legislation. Young Australians deserve evidence-based policies, not decisions made in haste,” Stone said in a statement. Online safety campaigner Sonya Ryan, whose 15-year-old daughter Carly was murdered by a 50-year-old pedophile who pretended to be a teenager online, described the Senate vote as a “monumental moment in protecting our children from horrendous harms online," in an email to the AP. Wayne Holdsworth, a father whose son took his own life following a sextortion scam, also approved the decision to introduce the age restriction. Meta Platforms has responded to the new laws saying: “Naturally, we respect the laws decided by the Australian Parliament." “However, we are concerned about the process which rushed the legislation through while failing to properly consider the evidence, what industry already does to ensure age-appropriate experiences, and the voices of young people.” Image: BigTunaOnline / Shutterstock.com

Technology

"We're giving them weapons": Charlotte O'Brien's parents call for social media ban

The parents of a young girl who took her own life after being bullied have joined a campaign to raise the age limit for social media. Charlotte O'Brien was a student at Santa Sabina College in Sydney’s inner west, where she dealt with relentless bullying which led to the 12-year-old's tragic death. Now, her parents Mat Howard and Kelly O’Brien appeared on 60 Minutes to ask “how many more Charlottes do we need to lose” before action was taken to protect kids from harm online. When asked if she believed Charlotte would still be alive if social media was off limits to young children, Ms O’Brien replied: “Absolutely”. “My personal opinion. Giving our kids these phones, we’re giving them weapons, we’re giving them the world at their fingertips,” the grieving mother said. In the days after the young girl's death, it was revealed her parents had pleaded with her school to address “friendship issues” Charlotte was facing. Mr Howard told 60 Minutes that despite her “ongoing struggles” the last two weeks of Charlotte’s life were “the best two weeks that I can remember with her”, adding, "We thought we were really turning the corner.” “You know she’d come home from school that day and she’d had a great day. Kelly had made her favourite dinner that night. And that night she skipped off to bed, literally skipped. And we never saw her again.” Her family revealed a “completely distressed” Charlotte spoke to a friend on her phone the night she died, and shared messages she had been sent online. “So we can’t say exactly what we’ve been told, but what I will tell you is what we’ve been told is some of the worst words that anybody should have to read, let alone a 12-year-old girl,” Mr Howard said. Recalling the heart-wrenching moment they found their daughter's body, Ms O'Brien said she pleaded for answers from police on how she would've taken her own life. “I just kept saying to the police that morning, ‘Where did she get the knowledge and the means? Where did she get the knowledge and the means?’,” she said. “I couldn’t wrap my head around it, and he (the police officer) just said to me, ‘This is the age of information. She just needed to Google it’. And for me, I’m so devastated by that because I gave her that phone.” Charlotte’s parents have travelled to Canberra to meet with Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, ahead of legislation to raise the age of using social media from 13 to 16. “I intend to say, ‘Please, Mr. Albanese, raise the age of social media to 16, because 36 months could change a lifetime’. That’s what I’m going to say,” Ms O’Brien said. Mr Howard said, “Charlotte was not the first and she’s already not the last. And this will continue to happen unless we make the right decisions.” The controversial bill to raise the age on social media platforms is set to go before Australia’s federal parliament this week, with support from both major parties. Need to talk to someone? Don't go it alone. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636 SANE: 1800 187 263; saneforums.org Image credits: 2GB / Kids Helpline

Caring

Prince William pops up in Robert Irwin's socials

Prince William has made a surprise appearance on Robert Irwin's Instagram as the pair team up for an important award ceremony in South Africa. The Prince of Wales and the wildlife warrior posted a video from Cape Town as they take part in the annual Earthshot Prize Awards: an initiative founded by William, of which Irwin is an ambassador. “G’day, it’s Robert here, with, of course, Prince William,” Irwin began the video. “Lovely to see you. How are you enjoying South Africa so far?” “Good thanks, really good, having a lovely time so far, loving it,” the prince responded. “Robert, you’ve been a fantastic ambassador for us at the moment, so looking forward to the Prize on Wednesday – tune in!” <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DB_C75lP9Wa/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DB_C75lP9Wa/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Robert Irwin (@robertirwinphotography)</a> </div> </blockquote> Irwin said that the event was “going to be amazing” before asking William, “We’re in South Africa, one of the most amazing countries and continents for wildlife – do you have a favourite African animal?” The future King pointed out it was a “really tough question”, adding, “My children ask me this regularly. I think it’s going to have to be the cheetah.” “Cheetahs, OK. Very cool. It’s chameleons for me, the unsung hero, I love them,” Irwin told him, before signing off the video, “Thanks so much for having me, for having us, Earthshot Week has been amazing so far and I cannot wait for tomorrow night … South Africa rules!” On the second day of Prince William's four-day tour of South Africa, he joined Irwin for a walk together towards Cape Town's Signal Hill, as the royal and the Aussie conservationist met with a variety of local park rangers and firefighters, with Irwin telling media afterwards that they had both “fallen in love with Cape Town”. Image credits: Instagram

International Travel

"Happy wives, happy social lives?" Men are more emotionally disconnected than women – what can be done about it?

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/roger-patulny-94836">Roger Patulny</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/hong-kong-baptist-university-2801">Hong Kong Baptist University</a> Many of us are worried about loneliness and isolation, and both <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-be-fooled-loneliness-affects-men-too-15545">decade-old</a> and <a href="https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au/blog/how-many-australians-are-lonely/">recent data</a> suggest they impact men more than women. Loneliness predicts health outcomes including <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1745691614568352">early mortality</a>, greater <a href="https://hqlo.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12955-022-01946-6">psychological distress</a>, and more <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41572-022-00355-9">cardiovascular, metabolic and neurological problems</a>. New research also links loneliness to <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-024-18770-w">more intolerant attitudes towards women</a>. These findings raise concerns over the causes and impacts of men’s loneliness and isolation. <h2>A deep dive into loneliness</h2> I recently analysed more than 50 indicators from a decade of data collected by the <a href="https://www.acspri.org.au/aussa">Australian Social Attitudes Survey</a>, from 2011–12, 2015–16, 2017–18, and 2022–23. My statistical models produced results for (self-identified) men and women, after controlling for the impacts of age, employment and partner status. I confirmed that Australian men are more likely to be socially and emotionally disconnected than women. I also found some reasons why this might be the case. I found men appear to focus their emotional energies primarily on their nuclear families and partners. Consequently, they over-rely on their female partners for intimate support and develop more distant, limited and transactional relationships with other people – and other men. <h2>Men are more emotionally disconnected</h2> The data show men continue to lack emotional support on a range of indicators. This puts them at greater risk of health impacts and potentially encourages more toxic attitudes towards women. A significantly greater proportion of men than women reported: <ul> <li>receiving no support from their closest friend</li> <li>receiving fun/practical advice over emotional support from close friends</li> <li>having less contact with a close friend</li> <li>not having anyone for emotional support</li> <li>not feeling “very close” to their closest friend</li> <li>not feeling “love” as their most commonly experienced emotion in the last week.</li> </ul> <h2>Men have more distant, transactional relationships</h2> Why are men in this situation? Masculinity roles are clearly influential. Traditional masculinity encourages men to appear capable, controlled and independent, avoid displays of “vulnerable” emotions or male-to-male affection (like hugging, touch or crying), and embrace the hetero-normative ideal of male provision and leadership. Such norms have been found to constrain male intimacy <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37531906/">by disallowing vulnerability</a>. My data show men tend to develop looser, transactional ties with more distant people. This may reduce the quality of the connection and its potential to reduce loneliness. I have found men are more likely than women to: <ul> <li>think it is OK to befriend someone just because they’ll make a “useful” contact</li> <li>feel obligated to repay favours immediately (foregoing longer-term connections)</li> <li>be kind to others because they “value doing the right thing”, rather than because they empathically connect with or care about the person</li> <li>give and receive kindness from strangers (rather than more familiar people)</li> <li>seek help with household jobs from more distant family or friends</li> <li>seek practical support (money, advice) from private and commercial sources (rather than friends or family)</li> <li>not seek help from family or friends for emotional, sickness or care issues.</li> </ul> This means many men retain an individualist masculine desire to remain emotionally aloof. <hr /> <iframe id="TBJfz" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: 0;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/TBJfz/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe> <hr /> <h2>Appearing in control but becoming dependent?</h2> So where do men turn for intimate, emotional connection? Most often, their families. Prior studies show partnered men are <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-024-18770-w">less lonely than single men</a>. My data show men revere the nuclear family institution and the core supportive role of women and female partners. Men are more likely than women to: <ul> <li>believe having children increases their social standing</li> <li>believe family is more important than friends</li> <li>rely on family over friends for support</li> <li>have mixed-gender friendships (in contrast to womens’ predominately female friendships)</li> <li>see their (predominantly female) partner as their closest friend</li> <li>emotionally support their (predominantly female) partner ahead of supporting others.</li> </ul> However, the masculine desire to be a “good nuclear family man” <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37531906/">can both support and impede</a> men’s social connection. Partnered men might feel less lonely but that doesn’t mean they give or gain sufficient emotional support from their nuclear families. My data show men are less likely than women to: <ul> <li>plan or organise social and family activities</li> <li>have at least weekly contact with non-nuclear family or friends</li> <li>emotionally support their friends, family or children ahead of their partners</li> <li>have their partner support them ahead of others (women were more likely to support their children first).</li> </ul> This raises several issues. If men cling to the notion that their primary role is to provide for and support their (female) partner – while she in turn emotionally supports everyone else – they risk becoming personally isolated through diminished networks and outmoded expectations. In this context, men who believe they should earn more than their partners <a href="https://theconversation.com/loneliness-in-the-workplace-is-greatest-among-men-with-traditional-views-about-being-the-breadwinner-230535">are lonelier</a> than other men. It also risks pushing the burden of maintaining social and emotional connections onto <a href="https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/">women and partners</a>, and men becoming socially and emotionally dependent on them. And it can “bake in” hetero-normative family-to-family interactions (organised by female partners) as the most “legitimate” form of socialising for men. This can be highly exclusionary for LGBTQIA+ people, along with single men and single fathers, who register among <a href="https://www.relationships.org.au/relationship-indicators/">the highest rates of loneliness in Australia</a>. <hr /> <iframe id="qCmHw" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: 0;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/qCmHw/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe> <hr /> <h2>How can men become more emotionally connected?</h2> Feelings shouldn’t be seen as just a <a href="https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/">“female thing”</a>. Younger men’s more inclusive masculine attitudes can allow them to <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">subvert the “rules” of masculinity</a>, express emotion and embrace <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">“bromances”</a>. Men can also connect emotionally with other men through <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">jokes and humour</a> and participating in shared activities <a href="https://theconversation.com/lost-touch-with-friends-during-lockdown-heres-how-to-reconnect-and-let-go-of-toxic-ones-172853">that allow incidental communication</a>, like Men’s Sheds. The following initiatives may well help men broaden their intimate networks beyond the nuclear family. We could:<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <ul> <li>help men into caring roles through more <a href="https://theconversation.com/loneliness-in-the-workplace-is-greatest-among-men-with-traditional-views-about-being-the-breadwinner-230535">family friendly employment and care-leave policies</a></li> <li>support initiatives such as <a href="https://meninmind.movember.com/">Movember Men in Mind</a> that encourage men to seek help, and improve their emotional expression and support skills</li> <li>encourage partnered, heterosexual men to broaden and diversify their intimate networks beyond the nuclear family bubble, and be more inclusive of single men, single fathers, and LGBTQIA+ people. <a href="https://thephn.com.au/news/the-mens-table-successful-mental-health-initiative-expanding-across-seven-new-regions">Men’s Table initiatives</a> could be of great value here</li> <li>encourage the development of more online <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">safe spaces</a> to form intimate bonds while avoiding toxic online masculine spaces.</li> </ul> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/roger-patulny-94836">Roger Patulny</a>, Professor, Academy of Geography, Sociology and International Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/hong-kong-baptist-university-2801">Hong Kong Baptist University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/happy-wives-happy-social-lives-men-are-more-emotionally-disconnected-than-women-what-can-be-done-about-it-239194">original article</a>. </div>

Mind

Why one baby king penguin is Sea Life's new social media star

A baby king penguin at Sea Life Melbourne has become the aquarium's newest celebrity for one massive reason: his size. Pesto the king penguin is just nine months old and 22.5 kilogram, which is already bigger than his parents. Photos of Pesto, who is just 90 centimetres tall, towering over his parents have gone viral online, with thousands of people shocked at the animal's whopping size. When Pesto was born, he broke the record of being the biggest chick ever born at Sea Life. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-Crh17SzVD/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-Crh17SzVD/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Herald Sun (@heraldsunphoto)</a> </div> </blockquote> "I think he's always going to be a big boy," says Sea Life penguin keeper Michaela Smale. She said that once he fledges, "he will shrink and slim down a little but he's already significantly taller than his dad." Despite being less than a year old, adulthood is already on the horizon as Pesto has started losing some of his baby feathers, with swimming lessons from his dad likely to be starting soon. "Sometimes they become quite independent teenagers, so maybe he's ready for his bad boy phase," says Smale. "I hope he retains some of his quirky personality and hopefully we can follow his adventures as he becomes part of the colony." Image credits: Instagram <div class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-size-adjust: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-position: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div id="adspot-mobile-mobile-3-above" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-size-adjust: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-position: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;"></div> </div>

Domestic Travel

“Enough is enough”: Albanese to introduce social media ban for children

Australian children could soon be banned from accessing social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok amid growing concerns around its impacts on young minds. Prime Minister Anthony Albanese confirmed on Tuesday that his government would introduce landmark legislation to enforce a minimum age limit for access to social media, with the minimum age yet to be determined. This follows similar announcements made from Victoria and South Australia, with SA proposing an outright ban for kids under 13 and parental consent between the ages of 14 and 15, an option that is being considered to be implemented across the country. “We are taking this action because enough is enough,” Albanese said in a statement provided before the announcement. “Parents are worried sick about this. “The safety and mental and physical health of our young people is paramount.” The legislation will be introduced before the end of this year, after an age verification trial, although the age limits and start date have yet to be finalised. The government said the legislation would be worked on in national cabinet and draw on a report by former High Court Chief Justice Robert French commissioned by the SA government and released on Sunday. The report includes a draft bill to ban children under 14 from social media and making mandatory for companies to gain parental consent for 14 and 15-year-olds to use their platforms. On Tuesday morning, Albanese told Sunrise host Natalie Barr that he wanted to see kids “off their devices and on to the footy fields or the netball courts to get them interacting with real people having real experiences." “And we know that social media is doing social harm. “We want to make sure we get it right, but we want to make sure as well that we act which is why we have said we will introduce legislation before the end of this year." When the Sunrise host pointed out that "no country in the world has successfully been able to do this," with young teens finding alternative ways to access adult sites including using a VPN, Albanese replied: “that is why we are doing the trial to get it right”. “If it was easy it would have been done around the world. But just because something is hard doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try. “We want to work with parents to work with companies, to work with state and territory governments to make sure that we act in this area.” Albanese also said that allowing children unfettered access to smartphones and social media have had devastating impacts for some families, including through online bullying and access to material which causes social harm. “The safety and mental and physical health of our young people is paramount,’’ he said. “We are taking this action because enough is enough.” Investigations, trials and negotiations with social media companies are currently ongoing, with Albanese saying the social media giants also needed to take responsibility. “They’re not above everyone else. They can’t just say, ‘We’re a big multinational company. We can do whatever we like’, regardless of the harm that’s being caused,” he said. SA Premier Peter Malinauskas, who led the change to introduce the bans, said his state’s bill would require platforms such as Facebook, Instagram and TikTok to ensure they took all reasonable steps to prevent children from getting access. “This is a problem that demands swift and decisive leadership, and I thank the Prime Minister for demonstrating it,’’ the SA Premier said. “The evidence shows early access to addictive social media is causing our kids harm. “This is no different to cigarettes or alcohol. When a product or service hurts children, governments must act.” The National Cabinet discussed the issue formally and informally last week, with all jurisdictions committed to tackling the issue. Image: Viktollio / Shutterstock.com

Legal

Hero security guard tears up while speaking about girl he saved

Laila Johnson, 11, and her mother Samantha, 34, from Candelo near Bega in regional NSW, were sightseeing in London when the young girl was stabbed in a <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/11-year-old-australian-girl-identified-as-london-stabbing-victim" target="_blank" rel="noopener">random attack</a> in Leicester Square. Abdullah, a security who was working nearby during the random attack, had jumped into action and saved her life by holding down the alleged attacker, Ioan Pintaru, until police arrived. On Thursday, Laila and her mum talked about the terrifying incident on Sunrise, and spoke about the incredible bond they had formed with the hero security guard. When shown the clip of Laila and her mum on Sunrise the day after, Abdullah was moved to tears by the heartfelt interview. “I will try to be in contact with them all my life,” Abdullah said, wiping away tears from his eyes. “She is just like my little sister now.” Abdullah was hailed as a hero for his bravery, and recognised at the Pakistan High Commission in London as part of their Independence Day celebrations on the 14th of August. Samantha had told Sunrise that Abdullah “is an absolutely gorgeous human”. “He’s just been checking in on Laila and myself and, yeah, we’ve just been keeping in contact,” she said. “He’s quickly taken Laila in as a little sister, and I think that he will continue to check in on her for a very long time." Pintaru — a Romanian citizen with no fixed address — was not asked to enter any pleas and was remanded in custody before his next hearing on September 10. He was charged with attempted murder and possession of a bladed article in a public place. Images: Seven

Caring

London stabbing victim's incredible bond with hero security guard

The identity of the NSW schoolgirl who was stabbed in<a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/11-year-old-australian-girl-identified-as-london-stabbing-victim" target="_blank" rel="noopener"> a random attack</a> in London’s Leicester Square has been revealed. Laila Johnson, 11, and her mum Samantha, 34, from Candelo NSW, were on holiday when the horrific incident occurred on August 12. Abdullah, a security who was working nearby during the random attack, immediately jumped into action and saved her life by holding down the alleged attacker, Ioan Pintaru, until police arrived. “I saw outside there was a guy who was stabbing a girl, so as I saw him stabbing the girl, I started to run towards the guy,” he said shortly after the attack. “I jumped on the guy and grabbed his hand in which he was carrying a knife. I tackled him down on the floor and kicked the knife away from him. “There was only one thought — to save the kid and save her mum, nothing else.” Laila was taken to hospital where she had plastic surgery for serious but non-life-threatening injuries to her face, shoulder, wrist, and neck and was out of hospital the day after the incident. On Thursday, Laila and her mum talked about the terrifying incident on Sunrise and paid tribute to Abdullah. “He is an absolutely gorgeous human,” mother Sam, said. “He’s just been checking in on Laila and myself and, yeah, we’ve just been keeping in contact. “He’s quickly taken Laila in as a little sister, and I think that he will continue to check in on her for a very long time.” Sam recalled the moment Abdullah saved her daughter's life. “He didn’t hesitate. He’s exactly who you want around in a time like that,” she said. She also praised daughter Laila for her optimism, and the day after the incident, the pair were escorted to Wembley Stadium, with the two police officers who came to her aid last week, where she sat in a VIP box to watch her favourite superstar, Taylor Swift. “She was still very sore, but she was getting up and dancing,” Laila’s mum told The Daily Telegraph. “She has always been the most optimistic and determined child in the world. Yeah, I was a bit worried that that might stop her from Taylor Swift, but I shouldn’t have worried,” Sam said on Sunrise. Laila is now back at school and will be he lead in the school's performance of Alice in Wonderland. Pintaru — a Romanian citizen of no fixed address — fronted Westminster Magistrates Court last week charged with attempted murder and possession of a bladed article in a public place. He was asked not to enter any pleas and was remanded in custody before his next hearing on September 10. Images: Seven

Caring

6 extra items to pack when travelling by yourself

Travelling alone can be a life changing experience, but it also requires a few extra precautions. Pack these six things to keep yourself safe. 1. Doorstop A simple wedge of wood or plastic can give you priceless peace of mind in a hotel room. Even if you lock the door, people might be able to break the lock or use a cloned key. A doorstop quickly and easily wedges it shut so you can sleep easy. If you want to go one step further, you can get special doorstop alarms that will emit a loud siren if anyone tries to force the door. 2. Extra lock There are endless uses for an extra padlock or bike lock-style cable. You can double up on your hotel door, secure your train carriage or ship cabin, double lock your suitcase or chain it to something sturdy. Compact, sturdy locks are relatively cheap and easy to carry with you, and will deter most thieves or intruders looking for an easy mark. 3. First aid kit If you don’t have a travel buddy to send down to the chemist, a simple first aid kit can be a lifesaver. Keep it stocked with band aids, basic bandages, pain killers, antibiotics, antihistamines and gastro meds, along with anything else you think will be useful. If you are really unwell, you’ll obviously need to see a doctor, but having the first line of defence within easy reach is always smart. 4. Whistle or personal alarm If you will be walking through unfamiliar cities at night (or even in the day), a whistle or personal alarm can give you a feeling of security. If anyone unsavoury approaches you, a loud noise will startle them and generally scare them off. It also draws the attention of other people and makes them aware of your predicament. 5. Small torch Never underestimate the power of a little light to make you feel safe. It’s great for finding your way through dark streets, looking for your keys in your bag or seeing the lock on your hotel door. You can get small lights that attach to a keychain or wallet and give out a surprisingly bright light. People are less likely to approach you if they feel they will be seen. 6. Fake wedding ring This one is for the ladies – in some countries an unmarried woman is seen as an easy target. Buying a cheap, fake wedding ring can give you a simple cover. Men may be less likely to approach you and, if they do, you can simply say your husband is in the next shop or waiting for you back at the hotel. Image credits: Shutterstock

Travel Tips

Is social media making you unhappy? The answer is not so simple

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/melissa-humphries-584274">Melissa Humphries</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lewis-mitchell-266859">Lewis Mitchell</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a> You may have seen headlines that link social media to sadness and depression. Social media use goes up, happiness goes down. But recent studies suggest those findings might not be so straightforward. Although it is true that people’s feelings of envy and depression are linked to high social media use, there is evidence to suggest social media use may not be causing that relationship. Instead, your mindset may be the biggest thing affecting how social media connects to your wellbeing. People who feel they are able to use social media, rather than social media “using them”, tend to gain more benefits from their online interactions. <h2>Why do people use social media?</h2> Social media covers a broad range of platforms: social networking, discussion forums, bookmarking and sharing content, disseminating news, exchanging media like photos and videos, and microblogging. These appeal to a wide range of users, from individuals of all ages through to massive businesses. For some, social media is a way to connect with people we may not otherwise see. In the United States, 39% of people say they <a href="https://www.americansurveycenter.org/research/the-state-of-american-friendship-change-challenges-and-loss">are friends with people they only interact with online</a>. For older people, this is especially important for increasing feelings of connectedness and wellbeing. Interestingly though, for older people, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563223004545">social media contact with family does not increase happiness</a>. Meanwhile, younger adults report increased happiness when they have more social media contact with family members. Teens, in particular, find social media most useful for <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2022/11/16/connection-creativity-and-drama-teen-life-on-social-media-in-2022/">deepening connections and building their social networks</a>. With social media clearly playing such an important role in society, many researchers have tried to figure out: does it make us happier or not? <h2>Does social media make us happier?</h2> Studies have taken a variety of approaches, including asking people directly through surveys or looking at the content people post and seeing how positive or negative it is. One survey study from 2023 showed that as individuals’ social media use increased, <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/372582895_The_Relationship_Between_Social_Media_Addiction_Happiness_and_Life_Satisfaction_in_Adults_Analysis_with_Machine_Learning_Approach">life satisfaction and happiness decreased</a>. Another found that <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0144929X.2023.2286529">less time on social media</a> was related to increases in work satisfaction, work engagement and positive mental health – so improved mental health and motivation at work. Comparing yourself to others on social media is connected to feelings of envy and depression. However, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9955439/">there is evidence</a> to suggest depression is the predictor, rather than the outcome, of both social comparison and envy. All this shows <a href="https://academic.oup.com/jcmc/article/29/1/zmad048/7612379?login=false">the way you feel about social media matters</a>. People who see themselves using social media rather than “being used” by it, tend to gain benefits from social media and not experience the harms. Interviews with young people (15–24 years) using social media suggest that positive mental health among that age group was influenced by <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8933808/">three features</a>: <ul> <li>connection with friends and their global community</li> <li>engagement with social media content</li> <li>the value of social media as an outlet for expression.</li> </ul> There are also studies that look at the emotions expressed by more frequent social media users. The so-called “<a href="https://epjdatascience.springeropen.com/articles/10.1140/epjds/s13688-017-0100-1">happiness paradox</a>” shows that most people think their friends on social media appear happier than themselves. This is a <a href="https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/3110025.3110027">seeming impossibility</a> that arises because of <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/srep04603">the mathematical properties</a> of how friendship networks work on social media. In one of our studies, Twitter content with recorded locations showed residents of cities in the United States that <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article/figure?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0064417.g007">tweeted more tended to express less happiness</a>. On the other hand, in Instagram direct messages, happiness has been found to be <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/20563051241229655">four times more prevalent than sadness</a>. <h2>How does internet use in general affect our wellbeing?</h2> Some of the factors associated with decreased mental health are not aligned with social media use alone. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0963721419838244">One recent study</a> shows that the path to decreased wellbeing is, at least partially, connected to digital media use overall (rather than social media use specifically). This can be due to sleep disruption, reduced face-to-face social interaction or physical activity, social comparison, and cyberbullying. None of these exist for social media alone. However, social media platforms are known to be driven by recommendation algorithms that may send us down “rabbit holes” of the same type of (increasingly extreme) content. This can lead to a distorted view of the world and our place in it. The important point here is to maintain a diverse and balanced information diet online. Interestingly, interacting on social media is not the only thing affecting our mental state. <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0090315">Rainfall influnces</a> the emotional content of social media posts of both the user experiencing rain, and parts of their extended network (even if they don’t experience rain!). This suggests that how we feel is influenced by the emotions in the posts we see. The good news is that happy posts are the most influential, with each happy post encouraging close to two additional happy updates from a user’s friends. The secret to online happiness therefore may not be to “delete your account” entirely (which, <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-018-0510-5">as we have found</a>, may not even be effective), but to be mindful about what you consume online. And if you feel like social media is starting to use you, it might be time to change it up a bit.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/232490/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/melissa-humphries-584274">Melissa Humphries</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Computer and Mathematical Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lewis-mitchell-266859">Lewis Mitchell</a>, Professor of Data Science, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-social-media-making-you-unhappy-the-answer-is-not-so-simple-232490">original article</a>. </div>

Mind

Spending too much time on social media and doomscrolling? The problem might be FOMO

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kim-m-caudwell-1258935">Kim M Caudwell</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-darwin-university-1066">Charles Darwin University</a> For as long as we have used the internet to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/mar/07/email-ray-tomlinson-history">communicate and connect with each other</a>, it has influenced how we think, feel and behave. During the COVID pandemic, many of us were <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953622007985">“cut off” from our social worlds</a> through restrictions, lockdowns and mandates. Understandably, many of us tried to <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0258344">find ways to connect online</a>. Now, as pandemic restrictions have lifted, some of the ways we use the internet have become concerning. Part of what drives problematic internet use may be something most of us are familiar with – the fear of missing out, or FOMO. In <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s12888-024-05834-9">our latest research</a>, my colleagues and I investigated the role FOMO plays in two kinds of internet use: problematic social media use and “doomscrolling”. <h2>What are FOMO, problematic social media use and doomscrolling?</h2> FOMO is the fear some of us experience when we get a sense of “missing out” on things happening in our social scene. Psychology researchers have been studying FOMO for <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2013.02.014">more than a decade</a>, and it has consistently been linked to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8283615/">mental health and wellbeing</a>, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0376871624001947">alcohol use</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2021.106839">problematic social media use</a>. Social media use becomes a problem for people when they have difficulty controlling urges to use social media, have difficulty cutting back on use, and where the use has a negative impact on their everyday life. Doomscrolling is characterised by a need to constantly look at and <a href="https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210226-the-darkly-soothing-compulsion-of-doomscrolling">seek out “bad” news</a>. Doomscrollers may constantly refresh their news feeds or stay up late to read bad news. While problematic social media use has been around for a while, doomscrolling seems to be a more recent phenomenon – <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7735659/">attracting research attention</a> during and following the pandemic. <h2>What we tried to find out</h2> In our study, we wanted to test the idea that FOMO leads individuals to engage in problematic use behaviours due to their difficulty in managing the “fear” in FOMO. The key factor, we thought, was <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/b:joba.0000007455.08539.94">emotion regulation</a> – our ability to deal with our emotions. We know some people tend to be good at this, while others find it difficult. In fact, greater difficulties with emotion regulation was linked to experiencing <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S088761852100058X">greater acute stress related to COVID</a>. However, an idea that has been gaining attention recently is <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.636919/full">interpersonal emotion regulation</a>. This means looking to others to help us regulate our emotions. Interpersonal emotion regulation can be helpful (such as “<a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11031-016-9569-3">affective engagement</a>”, where someone might listen and talk about your feelings) or unhelpful (such as “<a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0012-1649.43.4.1019">co-rumination</a>” or rehashing problems together), depending on the context. In our analyses, we sought to uncover how both intrapersonal emotion regulation (ability to self-manage our own emotional states) and interpersonal emotion regulation (relying on others to help manage our emotions) accounted for the link between FOMO and problematic social media use, and FOMO and doomscrolling, respectively. <h2>What we found – and what it might mean for the future of internet use</h2> Our findings indicated that people who report stronger FOMO engage in problematic social media use because of difficulty regulating their emotions (intrapersonally), and they look to others for help (interpersonally). Similarly, people who report stronger FOMO are drawn to doomscrolling because of difficulty regulating their emotions intrapersonally (within themselves). However, we found no link between FOMO and doomscrolling through interpersonal emotion regulation. We suspect this difference may be due to doomscrolling being more of a solitary activity, occurring outside more social contexts that facilitate interpersonal regulation. For instance, there are probably fewer people with whom to share your emotions while staying up trawling through bad news. While links between FOMO and doomscrolling have been observed before, our study is among the first to try and account for this theoretically. We suspect the link between FOMO and doomscrolling may be more about having more of an online presence while things are happening. This would account for intrapersonal emotion regulation failing to help manage our reactions to “bad news” stories as they unfold, leading to doomscrolling. Problematic social media use, on the other hand, involves a more complex interpersonal context. If someone is feeling the fear of being “left out” and has difficulty managing that feeling, they may be drawn to social media platforms in part to try and elicit help from others in their network. <h2>Getting the balance right</h2> Our findings suggest the current discussions around <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/psychology-group-says-infinite-scrolling-social-media-features-are-par-rcna147876">restricting social media use for young people</a>, while controversial, are important. We need to balance our need for social connection – which is happening increasingly online – with the <a href="https://www.biomedcentral.com/collections/spia#tab-3">detrimental consequences </a> associated with problematic internet use behaviours. It is important to also consider the nature of social media platforms and how they have changed over time. For example, adolescent social media use patterns across various platforms are <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10964-019-01060-9">associated with</a> different mental health and socialisation outcomes. Public health policy experts and legislators have quite the challenge ahead of them here. Recent work has shown how loneliness is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0190033">a contributing factor</a> to all-cause mortality (death from any cause). We have long known, too, that social connectedness is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0190033">good for our mental health</a>. In fact, last year, the World Health Organization established a <a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/15-11-2023-who-launches-commission-to-foster-social-connection">Commission on Social Connection</a> to help promote the importance of socialisation to our lives. The recent controversy in the United States around the ownership of TikTok illustrates how central social media platforms are to our lives and ways of interacting with one another. We need to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/may/27/dominic-andre-tiktok-ban">consider the rights of individuals</a> to use them as they please, but understand that governments carry the responsibility of <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2023/apr/04/what-does-tiktoks-ban-on-australian-government-devices-mean-for-its-future">protecting users from harm</a> and safeguarding their privacy. <hr /> If you feel concerned about problematic social media use or doomscrolling, you can speak to a healthcare or mental health professional. You can also call <a href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/">Lifeline</a> on 13 11 14, or <a href="https://www.13yarn.org.au/">13 YARN</a> (13 92 76) to yarn with Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander crisis supporters.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/230980/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kim-m-caudwell-1258935">Kim M Caudwell</a>, Senior Lecturer - Psychology | Chair, Researchers in Behavioural Addictions, Alcohol and Drugs (BAAD), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-darwin-university-1066">Charles Darwin University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/spending-too-much-time-on-social-media-and-doomscrolling-the-problem-might-be-fomo-230980">original article</a>. </div>

Technology

What’s the difference between shyness and social anxiety?

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kayla-steele-1042011">Kayla Steele</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jill-newby-193454">Jill Newby</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a> The terms “shyness” and “social anxiety” are often used interchangeably because they both involve feeling uncomfortable in social situations. However, <a href="https://theconversation.com/shyness-isnt-nice-but-shyness-shouldnt-stop-you-28010">feeling shy</a>, or having a shy personality, is not the same as experiencing <a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-social-anxiety-disorder-36601">social anxiety</a> (short for “social anxiety disorder”). Here are some of the similarities and differences, and what the distinction means. <h2>How are they similar?</h2> It can be normal to feel nervous or even stressed in new social situations or when interacting with new people. And everyone differs in how comfortable they feel when interacting with others. For people who are shy or socially anxious, social situations can be very uncomfortable, stressful or even threatening. There can be a strong desire to avoid these situations. People who are shy or socially anxious may <a href="https://theconversation.com/paralysed-with-fear-why-do-we-freeze-when-frightened-60543">respond with</a> “flight” (by withdrawing from the situation or avoiding it entirely), “freeze” (by detaching themselves or feeling disconnected from their body), or “<a href="https://theconversation.com/what-is-fawning-how-is-it-related-to-trauma-and-the-fight-or-flight-response-205024">fawn</a>” (by trying to appease or placate others). A complex interaction of biological and environmental factors is also thought to influence the development of shyness and social anxiety. For example, both <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.3758/s13415-021-00916-7">shy children</a> and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5428215/">adults with social anxiety</a> have neural circuits that respond strongly to stressful social situations, such as being excluded or left out. People who are shy or socially anxious commonly report physical symptoms of stress in certain situations, or even when anticipating them. These include sweating, blushing, trembling, an increased heart rate or hyperventilation. <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/592825/original/file-20240508-22-heev7f.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/592825/original/file-20240508-22-heev7f.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/592825/original/file-20240508-22-heev7f.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=456&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/592825/original/file-20240508-22-heev7f.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=456&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/592825/original/file-20240508-22-heev7f.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=456&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/592825/original/file-20240508-22-heev7f.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=573&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/592825/original/file-20240508-22-heev7f.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=573&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/592825/original/file-20240508-22-heev7f.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=573&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="" /></a><figcaption></figcaption></figure> <h2>How are they different?</h2> Social anxiety is a diagnosable mental health condition and is an example of an anxiety disorder. For people who struggle with social anxiety, social situations – including social interactions, being observed and performing in front of others – trigger intense fear or anxiety about being judged, criticised or rejected. To be diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, social anxiety needs to be persistent (lasting more than six months) and have a significant negative impact on important areas of life such as work, school, relationships, and identity or sense of self. Many adults with social anxiety report feeling shy, timid and lacking in confidence when they were a child. However, not all shy children go on to develop social anxiety. Also, feeling shy does not necessarily mean a person meets the criteria for social anxiety disorder. People vary in how shy or outgoing they are, depending on where they are, who they are with and how comfortable they feel in the situation. This is particularly true for children, who sometimes appear reserved and shy with strangers and peers, and outgoing with known and trusted adults. Individual differences in temperament, personality traits, early childhood experiences, family upbringing and environment, and parenting style, can also influence the extent to which people feel shy across social situations. However, people with social anxiety have overwhelming fears about embarrassing themselves or being negatively judged by others; they experience these fears consistently and across multiple social situations. The intensity of this fear or anxiety often leads people to avoid situations. If avoiding a situation is not possible, they may engage in safety behaviours, such as looking at their phone, wearing sunglasses or rehearsing conversation topics. The effect social anxiety can have on a person’s life can be far-reaching. It may include low self-esteem, breakdown of friendships or romantic relationships, difficulties pursuing and progressing in a career, and dropping out of study. The impact this has on a person’s ability to lead a meaningful and fulfilling life, and the distress this causes, differentiates social anxiety from shyness. Children can show similar signs or symptoms of social anxiety to adults. But they may also feel upset and teary, irritable, have temper tantrums, cling to their parents, or <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-is-selective-mutism-and-is-it-a-lifelong-condition-219930">refuse to speak</a> in certain situations. If left untreated, social anxiety can set children and young people up for a future of missed opportunities, so early intervention is key. With professional and <a href="https://theconversation.com/back-to-school-blues-how-to-help-your-child-with-shyness-90228">parental support</a>, patience and guidance, children can be taught <a href="https://theconversation.com/7-tips-to-help-kids-feeling-anxious-about-going-back-to-school-139207">strategies</a> to overcome social anxiety. <h2>Why does the distinction matter?</h2> Social anxiety disorder is a mental health condition that <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s12916-017-0889-2?utm_source=getftr&utm_medium=getftr&utm_campaign=getftr_pilot">persists</a> for people who do not receive adequate support or treatment. Without treatment, it can lead to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22306132/">difficulties</a> in education and at work, and in developing meaningful relationships. Receiving a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder can be validating for some people as it recognises the level of distress and that its impact is more intense than shyness. A diagnosis can also be an important first step in accessing appropriate, evidence-based treatment. Different people have different support needs. However, <a href="https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg159/chapter/Recommendations">clinical practice guidelines</a> recommend cognitive-behavioural therapy (a kind of psychological therapy that teaches people practical coping skills). This is often used with <a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-exposure-therapy-and-how-can-it-treat-social-anxiety-64483#:%7E:text=Exposure%20therapy%20is%20where%20people,addresses%20the%20underlying%20unhelpful%20thoughts.">exposure therapy</a> (a kind of psychological therapy that helps people face their fears by breaking them down into a series of step-by-step activities). This combination is effective <a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-exposure-therapy-and-how-can-it-treat-social-anxiety-64483#:%7E:text=Exposure%20therapy%20is%20where%20people,addresses%20the%20underlying%20unhelpful%20thoughts.">in-person</a>, <a href="https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Computer-therapy-for-the-anxiety-and-depression-is-Andrews-Basu/25e9ee98a1af8d2780ac3e1f687ebc40ebd1b47c">online</a> and in <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34534800/">brief treatments</a>. <h2>For more support or further reading</h2> Online resources about social anxiety include: <ul> <li> This Way Up’s <a href="https://thiswayup.org.au/programs/social-anxiety-program/">online program</a> for managing excessive shyness and fear of social situations </li> <li> Beyond Blue’s <a href="https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety/types-of-anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder">resources</a> on social anxiety </li> <li> a guide to <a href="https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Social-Anxiety">looking after yourself</a> if you have social anxiety, from the Western Australian health department </li> <li> social anxiety <a href="https://brave4you.psy.uq.edu.au/">online program for children and teens</a> from the University of Queensland </li> <li> inroads, a <a href="https://inroads.org.au/">self-guided online program</a> for young adults who drink alcohol to manage their anxiety. </li> </ul> <hr /> We thank the Black Dog Institute <a href="https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/about/who-we-are/lived-experience/">Lived Experience Advisory Network</a> members for providing feedback and input for this article and our research.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/225669/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kayla-steele-1042011">Kayla Steele</a>, Postdoctoral research fellow and clinical psychologist, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jill-newby-193454">Jill Newby</a>, Professor, NHMRC Emerging Leader & Clinical Psychologist, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-difference-between-shyness-and-social-anxiety-225669">original article</a>. </div>

Mind

"I love you all": Social media star announces her own death

Social media star Kimberley Nix has passed away at the age of 31 after a gruelling battle with cancer, and has announced the news of her own death to her dedicated followers. The TikTok star, who has amassed a following of 143,000 people as she documented her cancer journey, spoke candidly in a pre-filmed video that was posted to her page, letting her followers know that her "journey here is over". Kimberley, who was also a doctor in training, told her fans that if they were seeing the heartbreaking clip, that she had "passed", before sharing that they had made her "so happy". She captioned the viral video, which has so far amassed more than 5.1 million views, "My journey here is over and I can't thank each and every one of you enough. You have all made me so happy and your comments and support are more than enough to have gotten anyone through anything!" "If you wish, please donate through my link in bio to sarcoma cancer research and follow my husband [Michael MacIsaac] in his updates." At the beginning of the clip, Kimberley said, "Hello followers, if you're seeing this clip, I have passed away peacefully. " Holding back tears, she said that she had a "very beautiful life" that she was "so proud" of. "Those who know me, know I love my pets, my husband, and makeup. And though being a doctor is a big part of my identity, those are the things that matter," she said during the heartbreaking clip. Kim went on to note that in 2021 she got the "opportunity to start making TikTok videos", admitting that she "never thought anything would come of it". "I shared about love, joy, and gratitude because in this journey, I was grateful for the people and the little moments." "Those little parts of your day, like that warm first sip of tea in the morning or how it feels when snow is fresh on your face, those are the most beautiful [moments]." At the end of the clip, she thanked her followers for helping her and said that they meant the world to her. "I can't thank you enough, I will miss you TikTok. I love you all. Thank you for this amazing opportunity, I am in happy tears because I have found so much purpose in the end of my life," she said. "Thank you from the bottom of my heart, goodbye." Kimberley was diagnosed with metastatic sarcoma, which is known as cell cancer, at just 28 years old, and she was finishing up her final year of her internal medicine core residency when she got the diagnosis. She is survived by her husband Michael, who she married in February. Image credits: TikTok

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