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"What a joke": Backlash over new strict speed limit

Melbourne residents have lashed out at a local council over the controversial decision to reduce the speed limit on bust roads. Every street in Fitzroy and Collingwood, except state-managed roads such as major thoroughfares, are now under the new strict speed limit of a mere 30 kilometres an hour, which has been enforced by the Yarra City Council. Thoroughfares that are currently exempt from the 30km/h limit include Johnston Street, Nicholson Street, Hoddle Street, Alexandra Parade and Victoria Parade, although the council is working hard to bring the speed limits on these major roads down to 40km/h or 60km/h. Yarra City Council Mayor, Edward Crossland, said there is clear evidence that reducing speed limits will lessen the number of road accidents and save lives. “We want to make our streets safer and better places for people of all ages and abilities whether you are walking, wheeling, cycling or driving. 30km can have a huge benefit and we know there is a lot of support for this initiative across our community,” he said. “Research shows that a person walking is at least twice as likely to be killed by a driver travelling at 40km than at 30km and that safer speed limits in urban areas has minimal impact on travel time." The council first began trialling the 30km/h speed limit in 2018 in northern parts of Fitzroy and Collingwood, and brought the number of crashes down by 52 percent over the first 12 months. Despite the evidence that reduced speeds help the community at large, not everyone is impressed by the change, with social media users claiming the lower speed limit will “never be enforced”. Another claimed, “When the police commissioner comes out and says it’s ridiculous and nobody will follow the limits then yeah, fair to say it won’t be enforced.” In 2023, Victorian Police chief commissioner Shane Patton, told ABC radio that changing the speed limit to 30km/h was “not the answer”. “I think no one’s going to obey it. It’s ridiculous,” he said. Social media users have branded the change an attempt at “revenue raising”, with one commenter saying: “Just another way to nab us with fines! All about the revenue.” “What a joke,” another person said, while one claimed people might as well start pushing their cars if the speed limit is so low. However, there are also those that have praised the council’s decision, branding it a “great initiative”. “Great news! More traffic calming please,” one person said. Image credits: Shutterstock

Legal

Kate Middleton's strict post-birth rule

As Prince George celebrated his 10th birthday, reports have emerged of a strict rule that Kate Middleton had to follow after she brought her first child into the world one decade ago. The Princess of Wales gave birth to Prince George at St. Mary's Hospital in London on July 22nd 2013, with the news of the future heir of the throne making waves around the world. When Prince George was born, centuries of royal tradition and protocol meant no one was allowed to know about the royal birth until the late Queen Elizabeth was told first. This strict rule meant that Kate had to wait to tell her parents, family and friends until it was confirmed that the Queen was aware of Prince George's birth. According to reports from <a href="https://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity/royals/queen-elizabeth-found-out-prince-george-birth/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Marie Claire</a>, those in the delivery room were also sworn to secrecy to keep their lips sealed. They also reported the Royal protocol in full, which states that the current monarch should be the first call following the birth of a future monarch. In terms of how Queen Elizabeth found out, it was revealed that Prince William - the now next-in-line to the throne - called his grandmother from a specially encrypted phone to break the good news. This isn't the only rule involved in the birth of a royal either, with the huge news coming with a strict set of rules. As well as being the first to learn of the young prince's birth, Queen Elizabeth also had to approve his name due to the fact that he was a direct heir to the throne, and luckily, Prince George Alexander Louis was a hit! Image credits: Getty Images

Family & Pets

"Self-indulgent narcissism": Tina Arena slammed for breaking lockdown restrictions

Tina Arena has come under fire for bragging about breaking Covid lockdown restrictions to resist what she called a "totalitarian" regime. The 55-year-old singer spoke candidly with <a href="https://www.theaustralian.com.au" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Weekend Australian</a>, reflecting on the 2021 Delta lockdowns and why she chose to deliberately break the restriction that prevented people from travelling within 5km of their homes. "Why can't you drive more than five kilometres? Guess what – watch me. So I did. I drove past my five kilometres. Am I a criminal now? You want to pull me up? Pull me up. You want to fine me? Fine me. I'm not the one with the issue here," she told the publication. "The issue is, there is no logic. You have no right to do that. You are fining me. This is totalitarian. We don't work like that." Tina went on to claim that she was the only person who was frustrated by the harsh lockdown measures enough to speak up. "I didn't hear anybody complaining during lockdown other than me: 'Why are we locked up? Where's your science? What? Why?; The fear was so much for me; it was choking me, I was like, I can't cope with all of you being so fear-driven like this, and compliant," she said. Tina's comments sparked outrage online, with many people weighing in on her "selfish" choice to break the rules. "Tina Arena is just the Pete Evans of Music," wrote one person, referring to the disgraced television chef who was criticised for his anti-vax views. "Tina Arena - just another ignorant, selfish, fearful individual who was unwilling to comply with lockdown orders at the height of a deadly pandemic before vaccines were available. Yes 'deadly'! I have zero sympathy for those who blatantly ignored the restrictions," said another. Another disgruntled reader said, "Tina Arena's self indulgent narcissism is astounding, does she think she was the only person feeling fearful, locked up and battling mental health issues during the pandemic?" Another person called out her actions, writing, "Very selfish of Tina Arena. Hundreds of healthcare workers were f***ing exhausted, people with disabilities and severe health conditions were (and still are) living in fear of getting sick and she decided the rules wouldn't apply to her. Very disappointing." Social media users were quick to point out her "selfish" comments, with one person putting things into perspective by saying, "Most of us weren't wallowing in self pity, we were just doing what we needed to do to keep our families safe." Image credits: Getty Images

Legal

Buckingham Palace in ‘total lockdown’ due to 'loud explosion'

Buckingham Palace has been placed under lockdown after a man reportedly threw shotgun cartridges at the royal residence. International and British media surrounding the palace grounds were evacuated from the area amid the security scare, and a man has since been arrested – with BBC news reporting a controlled explosion was executed by specialists as a precautionary measure. Initial reports suggested King Charles was in residence during the incident, however, the Washington Post has confirmed he was just nearby with Queen Consort Camilla at Clarence House. According to the Metropolitan Police, the man was found to be in possession of a suspicious bag and was arrested on suspicion of carrying an offensive weapon. Speaking to news.com.au workers on the grounds said they heard a “loud bang” around 8pm. They also said the palace was not evacuated but surrounding media outside were cleared from the premises. The Mall, the street which lines from the palace to Trafalgar Square, is cordoned off from the public. Police are telling people in the area that the road is blocked off for a scheduled coronation rehearsal. British politician Jacob Rees-Mogg was in the area when the incident occurred and told GB News he was waiting to go on-air to discuss the upcoming coronation. “People came to us using yellow tabards to say there was an incident and we all had to go. Just an element, of I fear, not ‘keep calm and carry on’ [but] ‘let’s hustle and bustle’.” Ben Briscoe, GB News’ Head of Programming, also told the program, “There was definitely a very, very loud explosion … As it stands the Palace and the surrounding areas are in total lockdown and it doesn’t look like it is going to be lifted anytime soon.” The royal standard, which signifies when the monarch is in residence, was not seen above the palace the following day but has since been erected on the roof. The incident comes as Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese was one of the first dignitaries to meet the King ahead of the coronation, with his arrival at the palace on May 2. It is believed the lockdown has since been lifted as investigations proceed. Image credit: Getty

News

“A parent’s worst nightmare”: Tammin Sursok reveals daughter’s lockdown for school shooting

Former Home and Away star Tammin Sursok has revealed her daughter’s school in Nashville was placed on lockdown after a mass shooting took place at the school next door. Sursok, 39, who lives in Nashville with her husband Sean McEwan and their two children, took to Instagram to explain the “nightmare”. The 39-year-old shared that the shooting, which took place at The Covenant School, was just next-door to her nine-year-old daughter Phoenix’s school. “There’s been an active shooter, in Nashville, in one of the schools in Greenhills,” Sursok said in her video. “It’s right next to my daughter’s school. She’s in lockdown. She’s fine. “It’s really close to home, I know it’s close to home for a lot of you. “I know a lot of mothers are just completely hysterical and shaking right now. “I just can’t believe this keeps happening, and you always think that it’s not going to happen to you.” The shooter has been identified as a woman, 28-year-old Audrey Hale, who opened fire killing three children and three staff members. She was also a former student of the Covenant school. Hale was shot and killed by police at the scene. Sursok later posted a follow-up video saying she wasn’t sure what to do after hearing of her daughter’s lockdown. “Do we go to the school, do we wait until they tell us they’re out of lockdown?” she said. “It’s just really hard to even fathom that this happens so much. “I can’t even let my brain go there, because it’s just too hard to think of.” Sursok then wrote a lengthy message about the shooting and weighed in about gun control. The post saw an image of her and Phoenix, wearing tops that read “Love More”. “Our community in Nashville is in shock,” she wrote, adding a shooting trigger warning. “My thoughts and prayers are with the families going though this unimaginable tragedy. “Today I got a call that I never thought would happen but at the same time expected because I live in the USA. “My daughter’s school was on lockdown. There was an active shooter somewhere.” “A parent’s worst nightmare,” she wrote. “As you’ve now seen on the news, a school in Nashville has lost children and adults at the hands of a 28-year old-woman. “That school was next door, walking distance from my daughter’s school. “The argument when these horrific events happen is don’t get political, now is not the time, guns don’t kill people, people kill people. “I call BS. “... people with access to assault rifles cause mass destruction. “Why do we sell in the USA weapons of mass destruction to civilians? “Why do we sell weapons that can shoot hundreds of bullets in seconds? “Read that sentence again. “Hundreds of bullets in seconds.” The actress pointed out that in most American states, a person can buy an AR-15 - a semi-automatic rifle - once they turn 18. “The AR-15 (and military style weaponry) is not designed for hunting or ‘sport’,” she wrote. “It’s meant to kill people. Lots of people all at once. “How is this allowed? Please explain it to me.” She said she felt numb, angry, and “at a loss”. “Parties need to come together on both sides. I don’t care what side you are on,” she added. “We can come together to AGREE to uphold the freedom of America and its constitution AND keep our children safe. “We can do BOTH! “You know this doesn’t make sense. You know this isn’t normal. “You know children shouldn’t live in fear like this.” Sursok’s followers flooded the comments with support, with most agreeing gun control is a major issue in the US. “It only took one major incident for Australia to see what mattered most ... Lives not Guns,” one person wrote, referencing the Port Arthur massacre Tasmania saw in 1996. “Absolutely horrific,” another wrote. “When I am in the US I always think about that each person I am passing by could have a gun,” wrote a third. “Cannot imagine living with this thought every day. “You are right, the gun laws finally have to change. Sending lots of love.” Image credit: Instagram

Family & Pets

Rebel Wilson reveals strict Pitch Perfect "weight contract"

Rebel Wilson has lifted the lid on the strict rules she had to follow while she was starring in the Pitch Perfect films. The actress spilled the beans on her weight contract while chatting candidly on the Call Her Daddy podcast, revealing that she was contractually obliged to not lose any weight in between movies. “I couldn’t lose a massive amount of weight because I was in the contracts for that movie,” she said. “You can’t lose, I think it’s not more than 10 pounds (4.5 kilograms), or gain more than 10 pounds.” The 42-year-old actor added, “Yeah, you have to kind of stay at the weight. It’s in your contract.” Rebel famously played the role of Fat Amy in the Pitch Perfect trilogy, which conflicted with her plans to "get healthier" in order to improve her fertility before the age of 40. “I went to see a fertility doctor and he was like, ‘You’d have a much better chance with fertility if you were healthier,’” she recalled. “It really hit me hard because I was living a fantastic bigger life.” The situation made Wilson “re-examine” her lifestyle and she “slowly became healthier.” She also shared that she wanted to lose weight so she could diversify the roles she played in her movie career. <div id="indie-campaign-rHsIzpAmAj7xkA4llYlH-2" data-campaign-name="NCA ENTERTAINMENT newsletter" data-campaign-indie="newsletter-signup" data-jira="TSN-268" data-from="1640955600000" data-to="1677502800000"></div> “I was stereotyped in playing that fat funny friend, which is so hard because I love those roles. I love doing the roles. I love those characters,” she said. “But then I did want to do more things but I felt like being the bigger girl you’re just more pigeonholed.” The three Pitch Perfect movies came out between 2012 and 2017, before Rebel started her "year of health" in 2020 and lost more than 30 kilograms. Wilson revealed in 2021 that her team initially didn’t want her to embark on her health journey because they believed it would have a negative impact on her acting career. “I got a lot of pushback from my own team, actually, here in Hollywood. When I said, ‘OK, I’m going to do this year of health. I feel like I’m really gonna physically transform and change my life,’” she told the BBC at the time. “And they were like, ‘Why? Why would you wanna do that?’ Because I was earning millions of dollars being the funny fat girl and being that person.” Image credits: Getty Images

Body

Aussie travellers warned over strict new sex law

Indonesia has introduced a new law that could see many Aussies and other tourists thrown into jail. The predominately Muslim country announced that the government has approved legislation that would outlaw premarital sex. The news has been met with outrage with many saying it is setting the country back and taking away from people’s freedoms. This new law will also affect Bali, an extremely popular holiday destination and far more liberal than the rest of the country. Bambang Wuryanto, the head of the parliamentary commission in charge of revising the code, told politicians that the old rule is no longer relevant. "The old code belongs to Dutch heritage … and is no longer relevant now." Yasonna Laoly, the Minister of Law and Human Rights said it was time to leave the “colonial criminal code” behind. “We have tried our best to accommodate the important issues and different opinions which were debated,” he said. “However, it is time for us to make a historical decision on the penal code amendment and to leave the colonial criminal code we inherited behind.” The new law is not just applied for tourists, but also citizens with acts of premarital and extramarital sex could only be reported by a spouse, parents or children. Anyone found guilty of premarital and extramarital sex will face a year in jail. Despite the law passing, it is clear that it won’t be applied immediately as it will take time to transition from the old code to the new one. The new code is expected to be implemented within the next three years. Image: Getty

Travel Trouble

Queen's strict rule for grandkids revealed

To Prince William and Prince Harry, Queen Elizabeth II was simply known as their grandmother, and just like any other grandparent her Majesty certainly had her rules. According to journalist, former UK politician and close friend of the Royal Family, Gyles Brandreth’s new book: Elizabeth: An Intimate Portrait, Queen Elizabeth had her very own mobile phone that the younger royals would help her navigate. "She had her own mobile phone, and obliging grandchildren ready to show her how it worked. She understood 'texting', though was rather defeated by ‘apps.’” However, the late Queen’s one super-strict family rule was that neither William, nor Harry, nor any of her other grandchildren – including Peter, Zara, Beatrice, Eugenie, Louise and James were ever allowed to have their mobile phones at the dinner table. "And she did not allow her grandchildren to bring their 'devices' to the dining table, under any circumstances.” According to commentator Jonathan Sacerdoti, the Queen’s phone was reportedly so “advanced” in order to be “unhackable”. She only really used it to regularly contact two special people - her daughter Princess Anne and her racing manager John Warren. Despite her strict rules, the Queen was known for having a very special relationship with her grandchildren and great-grandchildren alike. Image: Getty

Family & Pets

The science behind why hobbies can improve our mental health

The pandemic has taken its toll on many peoples’ <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0020764020915212">mental health</a>. Given the fear of the virus and the government restrictions on movement many may understandably be feeling more lonely, anxious, and depressed than usual. The World Health Organization (WHO) has even issued guidance on how people can <a href="https://www.who.int/campaigns/connecting-the-world-to-combat-coronavirus/healthyathome/healthyathome---mental-health">look after their mental health</a> during this difficult time. Key advice includes trying to keep a regular pattern of eating, sleeping, hygiene and exercise. But a less obvious recommendation is to make sure you’re still finding time to do the things you enjoy. In fact, research shows that <a href="https://www.karger.com/Article/FullText/503571">having a hobby</a> is linked to lower levels of depression – and may even prevent depression for some. Losing interest and joy in things you normally like doing is one symptom of poor mental health. Known as anhedonia, this is a common symptom of depression and is something patients say they would most like <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25545606/">relief from</a> – possibly because the drugs used to treat depression target other symptoms and don’t seem to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11684742/">alleviate it</a>. For some people, anhedonia is one of the <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1600-0447.1991.tb01410.x">first symptoms of depression</a>, and can even be used to predict the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4403015/">severity of depression</a> a person might experience. So, finding time for your interests and pleasures – such as a hobby – during lockdown could be one way of avoiding anhedonia and depression. In fact <a href="https://www.kingsfund.org.uk/publications/social-prescribing">social prescribing</a> is a treatment method where doctors can ask patients with mild to moderate depression to take up a non-medical intervention (such as a hobby) to improve their mental health. As antidepressants can be <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/article-abstract/185157">less effective</a> in those with mild depression, this treatment strategy may still help patients with depression find relief from their symptoms. So far, some studies have shown that social prescribing programmes that ask patients to take up hobbies such as <a href="https://theconversation.com/anxiety-and-depression-why-doctors-are-prescribing-gardening-rather-than-drugs-121841">gardening</a> or <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-creativity-on-prescription-can-improve-mental-and-physical-health-93818">art</a> are beneficial for mental health and wellbeing. Evidence also shows that even for those with clinical depression, certain psychological treatments – like behavioural activation, which requires patients to schedule in time to do things that <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4061095/">bring them pleasure and joy</a> – improve symptoms of depression. A <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/17533015.2017.1334002">wide range of activities</a> and hobbies may play a role in social prescribing and behavioural activation, such as exercising, playing an instrument, drawing, reading or handicrafts. <h2>Reward system</h2> The reason that finding time for hobbies can work has to do with how they affect the reward system in the brain. When we take part in a hobby that we enjoy, chemical messengers in the brain (known as neurotransmitters) are released – such as dopamine, a chemical which helps us feel pleasure. These feel-good chemicals can then make us want to do the hobby again, and feel more motivated to do so. So even though we may not feel motivated in the beginning to spend time on a hobby, once we start it and feel the associated pleasure, this will <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2756052/">kick-start our reward system</a> and subsequently our motivation to do it again. This is something we’re researching in greater depth <a href="https://www.mccabe-nrg-lab.com/">in our lab</a>. Alongside pleasure and motivation, hobbies can also bring other benefits. Physical hobbies can, of course, improve your fitness, and others can even improve your brain function. Research suggests that some hobbies – like <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21463047/">playing a musical instrument</a> – can improve your memory, while artistic hobbies (such as reading or board games puzzles) are reported to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20660517/">prevent dementia</a> later in life. So if you’re feeling lower than normal during the pandemic, perhaps try to find time to re-engage with some hobbies that you may have enjoyed in the past – or try new ones. You can also seek help or guidance from your GP or a therapist to find the best treatment for you. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-science-behind-why-hobbies-can-improve-our-mental-health-153828" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Art

If you experienced ‘Blursday’ during lockdown, you’re not alone

After two years of mask-wearing, hand sanitising, lockdowns and social distancing, it’s safe to say we’re all experiencing some side effects of going through a global pandemic. If you feel like time has slowed down or Mondays feel like Wednesdays and Wednesdays feel like Fridays, you’ve likely experienced a feeling recently dubbed ‘Blursday’ - and you’re not the only one. A team of scientists have now captured what living in ‘Blursday’ is like, and have published their findings in the journal <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-022-01419-2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Nature Human Behaviour</a>. Using data from surveys conducted in nine countries - gathered through 14 questionnaires and 15 behavioural tasks - during the first two years of the pandemic, the team of researchers found that feelings of isolation affected our sense of time, including feelings of time grinding to a halt. Maximilien Chaumon, a researcher at the Institut du Cerveau et de la Moelle Épinière in France and coauthor on the study, told <a href="https://www.the-scientist.com/news-opinion/it-s-not-just-you-lockdowns-had-us-living-in-blursday-study-says-70422" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Scientist</a> of how a fellow researcher saw COVID as an opportunity to gain an insight into the complex phenomenon that is our perception of time. “When we talk about our senses, [not] our sense of time but our sense of vision, touch, and so on, we think about those sensory receptors,” he explained. “And time perception does not have such receptors. It is a psychological construct, actually, that has a very multifactorial origin that is very complex.” Chaumon said the pandemic provided the perfect chance to collect data on this concept, explaining that our sense of time is incredibly influenced by our environment, emotional state and how isolated we are, which in turn can affect our wellbeing and mental health. “This is sort of the angle that triggered this study, in the sense that this massive disruption that COVID-19 created, with its lockdown, on our daily routine, the way we use our time, the way time unfolds during the day, and initial reports of people reporting being lost in their week, not knowing whether it was today or whether it was Monday or Tuesday and so on,” Chaumon added, By compiling a range of tasks to measure different aspects of our time perception, along with psychological scales that measure anxiety and depression, the team hoped to correlate the tasks and measures. Wibbly wobbly time causes wibbly wobbly health problems Theirs isn’t the first to study our perception of time or the effects the pandemic have had on it. <a href="https://nam04.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fu7061146.ct.sendgrid.net%2Fls%2Fclick%3Fupn%3D4tNED-2FM8iDZJQyQ53jATUaUp6sA-2BpAvcl9YHzVa412QC1m3ibG-2FC3WQYczSIN1ZeXjTw-2F-2FSDFk4BOzJ4zXx-2Fvw-3D-3DLypt_LUT5diG96CqPUCpHtTdEJL2b31V0MmXDDBFBEm0nPEbHc8MtQdGxiyqTf-2FzdAPZDSx9IaeyAwnFz9OTaNQFX-2BXQLL8NMAAKx-2FL8IrpwUjzdetB7ZKmCghKO52pZka6HGYFTMHI-2B-2Fe-2BJS6LfwGws67A744zSx8i0Vtoc20FSpJ-2FY8ZMNMbQJlM8bC-2FeElv-2B99BECt8HWdJ0JCLCokbTc4kBOuKcR5lBaDkTG2apoJrHyzEYaHEX-2Bx1-2B-2F82umfOSV3S2GvH5vXKwhUg7158G3vtov5dTRfjj5yJu2iMqiZQRyCHDmZg-2Bz4smKOIckwZVBpH-2BFGnRcww1nHSSSRxw-2FRTNWsefWy1jyO4slKTgvThQY-3D&data=05%7C01%7Clilly.nguyen%40latimes.com%7C9f19770ffc344ce0549a08da853c1f96%7Ca42080b34dd948b4bf44d70d3bbaf5d2%7C0%7C0%7C637968790511475387%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=bumpnIH0Ne%2BwT6N9Sv850G8Sd44L7vlbxB9aHIcysko%3D&reserved=0" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Another study</a> published in 2022, based on surveys conducted in just the US, found that people have been losing their sense of time because of the pandemic, collective trauma caused by it, and additional challenges we’ve faced in recent times, including unemployment, financial hardships, supply shortages, death, and climate change. E. Alison Holman, a professor in nursing at UC Irvine who has been studying the relationship between trauma and time perception and is a co-author on the study, said in a recent interview that not addressing this change in how we sense time can put us at greater risks in terms of our mental health. “Having your sense of time get messed up to the extent that it really screws you up in terms of where you see yourself going in your life, in the context of the loneliness that people were experiencing and the social isolation, it’s an open question now that I’m trying to address,” Holman <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2022/08/220823170747.htm">said</a>. “How does that alter your sense of time? How might the social isolation of the pandemic have contributed to that alteration in your sense of time because you’re spending all of this time by yourself? "Given that distortions in time perception are a risk factor for mental health problems, our findings have potential implications for public health.” What can we do to readjust our sense of time? According to Holman, regaining a sense of time relies on reintegrating our past and present, as well as rebuilding our future. “When you think about your life and who you are, you have a past. Your past is a big part of who you are today. We have a past, a present, which we are doing right now, and a future that we hope to get to,” Holman said. “What happens to people is they end up getting stuck in the trauma. As time moves on, they don’t mentally move on. “Being able to reintegrate one’s past with the present — knowing where I am now and where I’m going, the future. That’s really important for mental health.” Image: Getty Images

Mind

House plants were our link with nature in lockdown – now they could change how we relate to the natural world

They’re not the first generation to keep house plants, but millennials seem to have earned a reputation for gratuitous indoor foliage. Bloomberg reporter <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2019-04-11/the-one-thing-millennials-haven-t-killed-is-houseplants">Matthew Boyle</a> claimed that young people have helped revive “the once moribund market for house plants” in the US, where, according to the National Gardening Association, sales surged 50% between 2016 and 2019. In the UK, the <a href="https://www.rhs.org.uk/press/releases/RHS-grows-houseplant-and-floristry-offering-as-ind">Royal Agricultural Society</a> reported a 65% increase in house plant sales in 2018 alone. Why young people in particular might be so fond of house plants has invited numerous explanations. Lifestyle reporter <a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/millennials-obsessed-houseplants-instagram_l_5d7a976de4b01c1970c433b9">Casey Bond</a> argued that house plants offer something to nurture that’s cheap and doesn’t involve a lot of maintenance, with obvious appeal to a generation whose entry into parenthood is stymied by <a href="https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/uk-average-house-price-rise-2020-millennials-versus-baby-boomers-property-ladder-060042411.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAEB84LlmZFsNTokd-kxf2HFZXpB5M_lQhZNMVcKQDBuUevGNEPHF8y2GNnE7xm_bdrYrgdZNrnENbC95LxdHuqCfekpSaSlJN6S99Z0fartMMnBdzbAAsHvvoa425lyGr5lsYK9h6UvugjtPP83kxYKjVT2TL-9cwdileX-xdpEo">house prices</a> and <a href="https://www.ft.com/content/241f0fe4-08f8-4d42-a268-4f0a399a0063">economic instability</a>. Young people today are thought to be more conscious of mental health and self-care too, and plants have been <a href="https://journals.ashs.org/horttech/view/journals/horttech/30/1/article-p55.xml?ArticleBodyColorStyles=fullText">proven</a>to reduce stress levels and improve mood. But the <a href="https://canongate.co.uk/books/2902-rootbound-rewilding-a-life/">universal appeal</a> of house plants, according to writer <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/feb/07/succulent-mania-smuggling-millennials-roots">Alice Vincent</a>, is that they provide “a tangible way of connecting with nature that is absent from an increasingly screen-based world”. That could explain why their sales ballooned again during lockdown, and not just among younger customers. Anthropologist Gideon Lasco described the phenomenon in his native Philippines as a “<a href="https://www.sapiens.org/column/entanglements/covid-19-houseplants/?fbclid=IwAR32a9PK_rf4GsMQ0pTRPlE3LXvNtRgJch48YaCGMztStvc-VN6ZHxNykpY">botanical boom</a>” that seized Manila. Plants, far more mobile than locked down humans, were ordered online in record numbers and ferried to anxious households where they acquired names and were photographed alongside their new family. Patch, a British online plant store established in 2015, reported a sales increase of 500% during lockdown, with stock intended to last 12 weeks <a href="https://supplycompass.com/blog/feature/inconversationwith/patch/">vanishing in two</a>. Since June 2020, I’ve been talking to people around the world to better understand the role plants play in these times of forced isolation. My project, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/careforplants/">Care for Plants</a>, started by collecting photographs and videos of people caring for their plants and asking them to explain what they meant to them. By interviewing some of these people, I learned how plants provide care for their human companions too. <h2>A potted history</h2> Plants offered not only bonding, but recreational and educational opportunities to their human families during lockdown. Brian started growing tomatoes with his children – part scientific experiment, part family pastime. Mai had to keep her toddler busy, and turned the chore of watering and re-potting her plants into a fun activity. With her access to the outside world restricted, Aoife found solace in nature, and would gently submerge her hand in the soil to decompress and heal after a long day. Likewise, Aveline described her experience with plants as one that “empties the mind so that I can stop being anxious”. Merima talked about her lawn as a “void filler” for her family. “In the lawn we can still talk about the future. What should we plant and do next and it’s a very positive experience.” The pandemic tore away our shared sense of normality. Amid the rupture, caring for plants invited welcome new routines – watering, feeding, trimming and re-potting. Plants provided an escape from the anxieties of everyday life, offering beauty and proof that life could still flourish in the darkest times. Xin, who showed me her indoor jungle over a video call, told me that “more plants make a place feel luxurious. A sort of lockdown luxury for those who can work from home and create a nest”. But one of the most interesting aspects of my research was listening to stories about how people discovered a need to appreciate plants. Laura explained that she felt a new responsibility towards her plants because she more fully appreciated their companionship. Lucia, whose vibrant social life had made her largely unavailable to her plants, was finally able to keep them alive and wanted to learn how to make them feel appreciated, as a way of acknowledging how they enriched her life in lockdown. <h2>New shoots</h2> Conversations about care have multiplied during the pandemic. We clapped for carers and saw grassroots <a href="https://www.plutobooks.com/9780745343167/pandemic-solidarity/">mutual aid networks</a> emerge, providing care in our neighbourhoods and often filling in for <a href="https://www.versobooks.com/books/3706-care-manifesto">inadequate public provision</a>. But speaking with plant owners in lockdown, I unearthed new networks of care and solidarity between humans and other species. The gratitude that people felt for their floral companions challenged the view that nature exists simply to be used by humans and made many see for the first time how non-human beings enrich our social world. The stories I collected suggest we need a broader understanding of social relationships and solidarity; one that appreciates the importance of non-humans in everyday life. Many hope that the pandemic marks a turning point in the way humans interact with the rest of the natural world. Perhaps this watershed could be reached in our own homes, by recognising that the non-humans we share our lives with are equal partners in building a more sustainable and just future. All names have been changed to protect the individuals’ identities. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/house-plants-were-our-link-with-nature-in-lockdown-now-they-could-change-how-we-relate-to-the-natural-world-147637" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Home & Garden

The mental health toll of Covid-19 lockdowns

During 2021, most people around the world were subject to a period of lockdown to contain the spread of Covid-19. With lockdowns in Australia lasting several months, the personal effects of these isolation periods are not to be underestimated. According to a new report by the <a href="https://www.nswmentalhealthcommission.com.au/">Mental Health Commission of NSW</a>, one in eight people have emerged from the pandemic with a new mental health condition. As a result, the nation-wide mental health system is facing immense pressure, with wait times for mental health specialists stretching to more than six months in some parts of New South Wales alone. NSW Mental Health Commissioner Catherine Lourey told the <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/lockdown-toll-one-in-eight-have-new-mental-health-condition-20220513-p5al4v.html?fbclid=IwAR0ARZsPxwdkWuRbZoEGRmgXCQM8EF3QjXASs50dTw6keMn2KAKHV0kxa7M">Sydney Morning Herald</a> that Australia will need to recruit from abroad to boost its depleted and exhausted mental health workforce, as demand far outweighs supply for services after two years of lockdowns and pandemic distress. Data from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare show a dramatic 25 percent increase in those seeking mental health services compared to the same time pre-pandemic. “As demand on services rises, waiting lists for specialists are blowing out to more than six months, particularly in regional parts of NSW,” Lourey said. “Our biggest obstacle is getting nurses and specialists on the ground now. We need intense focus on growing our existing workforce, re-training and looking overseas to recruit more psychologists, peer workers, social workers, nurses and counsellors,” Lourey said. A commission into the ongoing impact of the pandemic shows that the lockdowns of 2021 had a more detrimental effect on mental health than the first year of the pandemic. A survey of more than 2,000 NSW residents in November and December of 2021 found one in eight experienced a new mental health condition, the most common being anxiety and depression. People aged 18 to 29 were the most likely to experience a new mental health issue. Sixty-one percent said their mental health was negatively impacted by COVID-19 in 2021, up from 55 percent in 2020. Professor Ian Hickie, co-director of the University of Sydney’s Brain and Mind Centre, said the report indicated a need for ongoing support as the community realises Covid-19 will still cause disruption in their lives, even though lockdowns have ended. “2020 was bad, 2021 was worse, and 2022 could be at least better than last year, but we are not back to pre-pandemic yet,” he said. “We wouldn’t expect that until at least 2023, and that is assuming nothing else goes wrong.” Image credits: Getty Images

Mind

Lockdowns doubled your risk of mental health symptoms

During the almost two years of on-again off-again COVID lockdowns, we heard lots of concern from many different corners about the mental health effects of forcing people to stay home and keep away from friends and family. Many research projects were undertaken to attempt to measure the scale of the impacts on mental health. However, the speed with which research was generated meant in some cases, research quality was sacrificed, and some research found evidence of an effect on mental health, and some didn’t. To make sense of the very mixed findings, my colleagues and I conducted a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X22000252">review</a> of all of the studies on mental health conducted during the first year of the pandemic. We included 33 published papers which studied a total of nearly 132,000 people across various world regions. We found that overall, social restrictions doubled people’s odds of experiencing mental health symptoms. This means, of those who participated in these studies, those who experienced lockdowns were twice as likely to experience mental ill health than those who didn’t. This finding can be broken down further by different mental health symptoms. Social restrictions saw the odds people would experience symptoms of depression increase by over 4.5 times, the odds of experiencing stress increased by nearly 1.5 times, and the odds of experiencing loneliness almost doubled. When we drilled down further into these results, we found the length and strictness of lockdowns affected mental health symptoms differently. For example, strict lockdowns increased depression, whereas the onset of social restrictions increased stress. Low social restrictions, where there were some restrictions in place but not total lockdown, were associated with increases in anxiety. Also, mental health outcomes differed by age, with young and middle-aged adults reporting greater negative mental health symptoms than older adults. <h2>What lessons can we take away from these findings?</h2> The findings give us a good idea of what public health outreach should look like in the event of future pandemics. Anxiety was most prevalent when low restrictions were introduced. This could be due to the fact people were nervous about the precarity of the situation and where the virus could be circulating. The introduction of such measures should be accompanied by public health messaging and interventions that focus on alleviating chronic fear and worry. During the periods of strict social restrictions, the predominant mental health issue was depression, meaning mental health responses should focus on combating depressive-related symptoms such as hopelessness and loss of purpose. The findings for stress suggest symptoms are likely to intensify during the early stages of social restriction enforcement. This is probably because the onset of restrictions communicates to people an increase in the seriousness of the pandemic threat, and people have to work very hard to re-organise their lives if restrictions involve the need to work from home and home-school. During these times, providing messaging and interventions that help people manage their stress, such as dealing with work stress or the stress of home-schooling children, may be especially important. For parents, making them feel capable in the home classroom and promoting strategies that foster positive family functioning (such as more constructive communication and problem-solving) could reduce parental and family stress. Given social restrictions were found to be associated with increases in loneliness, promotion of digital technologies to keep people feeling connected is also important. Across all these mental health issues, messages that communicate these symptoms are to be expected are likely to help individuals normalise and acknowledge the nature and severity of their symptoms. This, in turn, may prompt people to seek help for their mental health symptoms. <h2>Research quality was poor</h2> Another important point to highlight from our review is the research conducted during the first year of the pandemic was generally of poor quality. This is because good measures of social restrictions were hard to come by in studies. Some studies didn’t detail the specific restrictions in place in various cities, or did not ask study participants to what extent they complied with restrictions. Also, some studies surveyed people’s mental health symptoms on the day social restrictions were first enforced. Most people are likely to experience heightened but temporary spikes in mental health symptoms that may naturally reduce after the initial lockdown announcements. This means it’s difficult to get a handle on the “true” mental health effects of social restrictions on the first day restrictions are activated. However, the effects of social restrictions on mental health symptoms were similar across studies where people were surveyed at one time point and where they were surveyed on more than one occasion during restrictions. This suggests the estimated effects seem robust, despite many studies not having the best assessments of social restrictions. The findings of our review show that although we have a way to go in the way we conduct research into the mental health effects of COVID-19 social restrictions, the initial research highlights these restrictions indeed negatively impacted the mental well-being of citizens. Although such restrictions may be an effective public health response to mitigate the spread of viruses such as COVID-19, there needs to be a co-ordinated response to safeguard people’s physical and mental health. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/lockdowns-doubled-your-risk-of-mental-health-symptoms-180953" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Mind

Chrissie Swan’s amazing lockdown transformation

Chrissie Swan has taken to Instagram to show off her recent stunning weight-loss.The busy mum of three and media personality embarked on her health journey back in 2021 and made some major life changes to help achieve her goals.Chrisse shared a mirror selfie to her Instagram stories where she was seen in activewear, a cap, and a bright yellow backpack. The TV personality credits her weight loss to cutting out alcohol and walking during Melbourne’s lockdown.It was revealed in October she’d been nine months sober after quitting alcohol for good to work on herself. Chrissie has shared other ways she’s made active life changes that led to weight loss and credits hobbies like meditation, long daily walks and participating in Fred Hollows Foundation initiative, Fred’s Big Run, walking 150km in one month.Chrissie proudly announced that she completed the 150km in only two weeks. “No one is more surprised than me that I did this already,” she told her followers after completing the walk.Images: Getty / Instagram

She missed her 100th birthday in lockdown, then this happened for 101

A care home resident who spent her 100th birthday alone during lockdown was absolutely blown away by the lavish celebration she was treated to when it finally came time to mark turning 101.Scotland's Edna Clayton, who moved into the Hector House facility in Shawlands, Glasgow, last August, spent her milestone 100th birthday alone last year - with no cards, no visitors and no celebration.But when staff discovered the milestone had gone unmarked, care home manager Angela Todd issued an appeal for the public to send Edna cards ahead of her 101st birthday a year later.'It's been unbelievable," said Ms Todd. "We thought about 20 or 30 cards would come through the door, but we're sitting on at least 30,000."Edna, who is an avid fan of the Good Morning Britain TV show, was surprised when one of the cards appeared to be Good Morning Britain-themed – with staff revealing that host Ben Shephard is her favourite presenter.Edna was delighted with the card, saying: 'Oh it's gorgeous. It's beautiful, it is. It's a beautiful card'.Edna spent her life caring for her beloved son James, who has Down's Syndrome and now lives in sheltered accommodation. Before the pandemic, Edna lived independently but 'lost confidence' as she became socially isolated during lockdown.'The Big 100 was spent at home alone in her home in Battlefield,' Angela told the BBC's Good Morning Scotland programme earlier this month. 'We just feel that shouldn't have happened.'After a breakfast of cake and champagne, Edna joined staff for a trip on a party bus tour around her old hometown of Anderston later in the afternoon.Edna was also excited to receive a telegram from The Queen, which she should have received on her 100th birthday, however it is believed no one applied to the Anniversaries Office at Buckingham Palace on her behalf.Viewers were delighted by the segment, with several taking to Twitter to hail the moment 'adorable' and wish Edna a happy birthday.'Aww bless her happy birthday Edna 101 year's young', wrote one user.'Oh Edna you little darling happy birthday', wrote another.A third said: 'Aww bless her. So lovely that the care home staff have made such a fuss of her. Happy Birthday Edna!'Image: Good Morning Britian

Family & Pets

Rekindling friendships after lockdown

As we resume our social lives after strict COVID restrictions have lifted, many of us are finding it’s time to take stock of our friendships. Recent research I’ve been involved in found <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/lonely-after-lockdown-how-covid-may-leave-us-with-fewer-friends-if-we-are-not-careful-168844" target="_blank">friendship networks were shrinking</a> in Australia during COVID lockdowns. Some people pruned their networks, focusing on only the most important family and friends. Others lost friends through reduced recreational and community activities, falling out of the habit of socialising, and shifting to more digital interaction. As we start to re-engage, the obvious question is – how do we get our old friends back? We might also ask ourselves – which friends do we want back? Which friends do we want? There’s no one answer here – different people want different things from friends. Data I have calculated from <a rel="noopener" href="http://rpatulny.com/data/" target="_blank">the 2015-16 Australian Social Attitudes Survey</a> show the main form of support received from close friends in Australia is: <ul> <li> primarily, having a confidant who provides emotional support </li> <li> followed by fun and good times </li> <li> and then, favours and advice of various kinds. </li> </ul> These results vary by background and life stage. Women are much more likely to have a confidant who provides emotional support as their closest friend. Men are more likely to have friends who provide fun, good times, favours and advice – or else no regular support at all. Younger people are more likely to have a confidant, emotional support, fun and good times. Older people, aged over 56, are slightly more likely to receive favours and advice, and are much more likely to lack a close supportive friend. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/437962/original/file-20211216-19-ark8mw.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" alt="Alt" /> Women are much more likely to have a confidant who provides emotional support compared to men. <a rel="noopener" href="http://rpatulny.com/data/" target="_blank" class="source">Data: Australian Social Attitudes Survey 2015-16/Roger Patulny</a>, Author provided These results are indicative of what different people get from close friendships, but may not represent what they want or need. The close confidants women report as friends may well alleviate <a rel="noopener" href="https://books.google.com.au/books/about/Loneliness_the_Experience_of_Emotional_a.html?id=KuibQgAACAAJ&redir_esc=y" target="_blank">emotional loneliness</a>, which is defined as the absence of close attachment to others who provide strong emotional support. However, it may still leave them with <a rel="noopener" href="https://books.google.com.au/books/about/Loneliness_the_Experience_of_Emotional_a.html?id=KuibQgAACAAJ&redir_esc=y" target="_blank">social loneliness</a>, or the feeling of lacking quality, companionable connections with friends. Conversely, male camaraderie built around fun, activities and mutual favours may alleviate social but not emotional loneliness. Emerging evidence suggests emotional loneliness has a <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1877042811027029" target="_blank">stronger negative impact on well-being than social loneliness</a>, so it’s important for everyone to have someone to talk to for emotional support. We still need a variety of approaches and goals to suit different friendship needs nonetheless. Beating social loneliness The first way to reduce social loneliness is to reach out to those we already know, now that we can. We can message old friends, organise get-togethers, or start new conversations and activities with everyday contacts including colleagues, fellow students, regulars at the local club or cafe, or neighbours. That said, reconnecting may now be impossible or undesirable for several reasons. These can include physical distance, changed life circumstances, different interests, intractable arguments, or a <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/bigideas/australian-men-are-prone-to-loneliness/10555064" target="_blank">masculine aversion to initiating contact</a>. In these cases, we can join, organise, invite others, and connect with new social and community groups. Better groups tend to run regular activities that genuinely reflect members’ interests and input. Generic groups that meet sporadically <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/abs/cambridge-handbook-of-personal-relationships/loneliness-and-social-isolation/246AFB3CA8837959725B67497331E0A8" target="_blank">are less effective</a>. Some people may benefit from joining support groups designed for people subject to stigma based on identity or life events, such as <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6841046/" target="_blank">LGBTQI</a> or health recovery groups. Some groups help deal with the stigma of feeling lonely. This includes shared activity groups where people talk “shoulder to shoulder” rather than face to face, such as <a rel="noopener" href="https://hivelife.com/australian-mens-shed-association/" target="_blank">Men’s Sheds</a>. Groups focused on education, shared discussion, or exercise are particularly good for <a rel="noopener" href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24575725/" target="_blank">friendship and alleviating loneliness among older people</a>. While online options abound for connecting, it’s important to avoid activities which increase loneliness, such as <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/07421222.2014.1001282" target="_blank">passive scrolling</a>, unsolicited broadcasting, or <a rel="noopener" href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1745691617713052?journalCode=ppsa" target="_blank">escapist substituting of digital communities for physical ones</a>. Interactive online contact and online groups that <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/does-social-media-make-us-more-or-less-lonely-depends-on-how-you-use-it-128468" target="_blank">help us organise in-person catch ups</a> (such as WhatsApp, Facebook or Meetup) are more effective. Beating emotional loneliness To beat emotional loneliness, the focus should be on deepening existing relationships. It’s essential to spend high quality, meaningful time with a few good quality friends (or even one). It might mean repairing damage, and <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-05-10/coronavirus-and-reflection-how-to-restore-a-friendship/12229750" target="_blank">apologising in a considered and respectful manner</a> if you did or said something wrong. Sometimes it just requires the effort of checking in more regularly. Organisations like <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask" target="_blank">RUOK</a> provide sensitive, step-by-step suggestions on how to do this. Online contact and videoconferencing can help maintain intimate partner and family connections, as it did during lockdown. It’s particularly helpful for <a rel="noopener" href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21069600/" target="_blank">older people</a> and <a rel="noopener" href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-14727-003" target="_blank">migrants</a>, but less so for younger people <a rel="noopener" href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24321573/" target="_blank">already saturated in online social media</a> connections. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/436868/original/file-20211210-23-txf7t8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="One elderly man comforting another" /> It’s crucial for our health and well-being to spend deep, meaningful time with close friends. Shutterstock Some people may also need help from a professional psychologist, counsellor, or support group to process increased social anxiety, particularly after COVID lockdown. <a rel="noopener" href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2019-62767-001" target="_blank">Such support</a> can reduce emotional loneliness by helping us process social situations more positively and <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/abs/cambridge-handbook-of-personal-relationships/loneliness-and-social-isolation/246AFB3CA8837959725B67497331E0A8" target="_blank">be more realistic (and less anxious) about our friendship options</a>. Ending wrong or ‘toxic’ friendships In <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.verywellmind.com/news-how-to-rekindle-friendships-after-covid-19-5179635" target="_blank">reflecting on our friendships</a>, we may decide to end any that have become particularly toxic. Where possible, we should be kind, explain this, and avoid ghosting, as this can be <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/living-forward/201511/why-ghosting-hurts-so-much" target="_blank">highly traumatic to those who are ghosted</a> and de-sensitise us to others’ feelings if we do it regularly. Before doing so, we should be careful we don’t just need a break to rebuild energy and habits of interactions. We should be especially careful with <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/friday-essay-on-the-ending-of-a-friendship-121627" target="_blank">ending long-term friendships</a>. Quality relationships take time, shared history, and involve natural ups and downs – especially in a pandemic. We should look to renegotiate rather than end them wherever possible. Take time, and seek counselling or another friend’s advice. Since listening is key to friendship, maybe ask yourself – have you heard everything they’re trying to say?<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/172853/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/roger-patulny-94836" target="_blank">Roger Patulny</a>, Associate Professor of Sociology, <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711" target="_blank">University of Wollongong</a> This article is republished from <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com" target="_blank">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/lost-touch-with-friends-during-lockdown-heres-how-to-reconnect-and-let-go-of-toxic-ones-172853" target="_blank">original article</a>. Image: Getty Images

Relationships

Lost touch with friends during lockdown? Here’s how to reconnect (and let go of ‘toxic’ ones)

As we resume our social lives after strict COVID restrictions have lifted, many of us are finding it’s time to take stock of our friendships. Recent research I’ve been involved in found <a href="https://theconversation.com/lonely-after-lockdown-how-covid-may-leave-us-with-fewer-friends-if-we-are-not-careful-168844">friendship networks were shrinking</a> in Australia during COVID lockdowns. Some people pruned their networks, focusing on only the most important family and friends. Others lost friends through reduced recreational and community activities, falling out of the habit of socialising, and shifting to more digital interaction. As we start to re-engage, the obvious question is – how do we get our old friends back? We might also ask ourselves – which friends do we want back? <h2>Which friends do we want?</h2> There’s no one answer here – different people want different things from friends. Data I have calculated from <a href="http://rpatulny.com/data/">the 2015-16 Australian Social Attitudes Survey</a> show the main form of support received from close friends in Australia is: <ul> <li> primarily, having a confidant who provides emotional support </li> <li> followed by fun and good times </li> <li> and then, favours and advice of various kinds. </li> </ul> These results vary by background and life stage. Women are much more likely to have a confidant who provides emotional support as their closest friend. Men are more likely to have friends who provide fun, good times, favours and advice – or else no regular support at all. Younger people are more likely to have a confidant, emotional support, fun and good times. Older people, aged over 56, are slightly more likely to receive favours and advice, and are much more likely to lack a close supportive friend. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/437962/original/file-20211216-19-ark8mw.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" alt="Alt" /> Women are much more likely to have a confidant who provides emotional support compared to men. <a href="http://rpatulny.com/data/" class="source">Data: Australian Social Attitudes Survey 2015-16/Roger Patulny</a>, Author provided These results are indicative of what different people get from close friendships, but may not represent what they want or need. The close confidants women report as friends may well alleviate <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books/about/Loneliness_the_Experience_of_Emotional_a.html?id=KuibQgAACAAJ&redir_esc=y">emotional loneliness</a>, which is defined as the absence of close attachment to others who provide strong emotional support. However, it may still leave them with <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books/about/Loneliness_the_Experience_of_Emotional_a.html?id=KuibQgAACAAJ&redir_esc=y">social loneliness</a>, or the feeling of lacking quality, companionable connections with friends. Conversely, male camaraderie built around fun, activities and mutual favours may alleviate social but not emotional loneliness. Emerging evidence suggests emotional loneliness has a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1877042811027029">stronger negative impact on well-being than social loneliness</a>, so it’s important for everyone to have someone to talk to for emotional support. We still need a variety of approaches and goals to suit different friendship needs nonetheless. <h2>Beating social loneliness</h2> The first way to reduce social loneliness is to reach out to those we already know, now that we can. We can message old friends, organise get-togethers, or start new conversations and activities with everyday contacts including colleagues, fellow students, regulars at the local club or cafe, or neighbours. That said, reconnecting may now be impossible or undesirable for several reasons. These can include physical distance, changed life circumstances, different interests, intractable arguments, or a <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/bigideas/australian-men-are-prone-to-loneliness/10555064">masculine aversion to initiating contact</a>. In these cases, we can join, organise, invite others, and connect with new social and community groups. Better groups tend to run regular activities that genuinely reflect members’ interests and input. Generic groups that meet sporadically <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/abs/cambridge-handbook-of-personal-relationships/loneliness-and-social-isolation/246AFB3CA8837959725B67497331E0A8">are less effective</a>. Some people may benefit from joining support groups designed for people subject to stigma based on identity or life events, such as <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6841046/">LGBTQI</a> or health recovery groups. Some groups help deal with the stigma of feeling lonely. This includes shared activity groups where people talk “shoulder to shoulder” rather than face to face, such as <a href="https://hivelife.com/australian-mens-shed-association/">Men’s Sheds</a>. Groups focused on education, shared discussion, or exercise are particularly good for <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24575725/">friendship and alleviating loneliness among older people</a>. While online options abound for connecting, it’s important to avoid activities which increase loneliness, such as <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/07421222.2014.1001282">passive scrolling</a>, unsolicited broadcasting, or <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1745691617713052?journalCode=ppsa">escapist substituting of digital communities for physical ones</a>. Interactive online contact and online groups that <a href="https://theconversation.com/does-social-media-make-us-more-or-less-lonely-depends-on-how-you-use-it-128468">help us organise in-person catch ups</a> (such as WhatsApp, Facebook or Meetup) are more effective. <h2>Beating emotional loneliness</h2> To beat emotional loneliness, the focus should be on deepening existing relationships. It’s essential to spend high quality, meaningful time with a few good quality friends (or even one). It might mean repairing damage, and <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-05-10/coronavirus-and-reflection-how-to-restore-a-friendship/12229750">apologising in a considered and respectful manner</a> if you did or said something wrong. Sometimes it just requires the effort of checking in more regularly. Organisations like <a href="https://www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask">RUOK</a> provide sensitive, step-by-step suggestions on how to do this. Online contact and videoconferencing can help maintain intimate partner and family connections, as it did during lockdown. It’s particularly helpful for <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21069600/">older people</a> and <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-14727-003">migrants</a>, but less so for younger people <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24321573/">already saturated in online social media</a> connections. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/436868/original/file-20211210-23-txf7t8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="One elderly man comforting another" /> It’s crucial for our health and well-being to spend deep, meaningful time with close friends. Shutterstock Some people may also need help from a professional psychologist, counsellor, or support group to process increased social anxiety, particularly after COVID lockdown. <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2019-62767-001">Such support</a> can reduce emotional loneliness by helping us process social situations more positively and <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/abs/cambridge-handbook-of-personal-relationships/loneliness-and-social-isolation/246AFB3CA8837959725B67497331E0A8">be more realistic (and less anxious) about our friendship options</a>. <h2>Ending wrong or ‘toxic’ friendships</h2> In <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/news-how-to-rekindle-friendships-after-covid-19-5179635">reflecting on our friendships</a>, we may decide to end any that have become particularly toxic. Where possible, we should be kind, explain this, and avoid ghosting, as this can be <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/living-forward/201511/why-ghosting-hurts-so-much">highly traumatic to those who are ghosted</a> and de-sensitise us to others’ feelings if we do it regularly. Before doing so, we should be careful we don’t just need a break to rebuild energy and habits of interactions. We should be especially careful with <a href="https://theconversation.com/friday-essay-on-the-ending-of-a-friendship-121627">ending long-term friendships</a>. Quality relationships take time, shared history, and involve natural ups and downs – especially in a pandemic. We should look to renegotiate rather than end them wherever possible. Take time, and seek counselling or another friend’s advice. Since listening is key to friendship, maybe ask yourself – have you heard everything they’re trying to say?<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/172853/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/roger-patulny-94836">Roger Patulny</a>, Associate Professor of Sociology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/lost-touch-with-friends-during-lockdown-heres-how-to-reconnect-and-let-go-of-toxic-ones-172853">original article</a>. Image: Shutterstock

Family & Pets

If you took to growing veggies in the coronavirus pandemic, then keep it up when lockdown ends

The COVID-19 pandemic produced a run on the things people need to produce their own food at home, including <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-24/coronavirus-panic-buying-of-edible-plants-at-nurseries/12082988">vegetable seedlings, seeds</a> and <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/national/scramble-for-backyard-chooks-follows-egg-panic-buying-20200401-p54g28.html">chooks</a>. This turn to self-provisioning was prompted in part by the high price rises for produce – including <a href="https://www.perthnow.com.au/news/coronavirus/cauliflower-and-broccoli-among-healthy-vegetables-whose-prices-have-skyrocketed-during-coronavirus-pandemic-ng-b881501930z">A$10 cauliflowers and broccoli for A$13 a kilo</a> – and empty <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/food/2020/mar/27/ive-never-seen-it-like-this-why-vegetables-are-so-expensive-in-australia-at-the-moment">veggie shelves in some supermarkets</a>. As well as <a href="https://www.news.com.au/finance/business/retail/bunnings-diy-garden-shopping-frenzy-as-virus-lockdown-takes-hold/news-story/413857a8c40b44af21eb90a1f88a594f">hitting the garden centres</a> people looked online for information on growing food. Google searches for “<a href="https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=all&q=how%20to%20grow%20vegetables">how to grow vegetables</a>” hit an all-time worldwide high in April. Hobart outfit Good Life Permaculture’s video on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUqkZLSOdm0">Crisis Gardening - Fresh Food Fast</a> racked up over 80,000 views in a month. Facebook kitchen garden groups, such as <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SAKGF/videos/vb.107400965969813/2830266200384624/?type=3&theater">Stephanie Alexander Kitchen Garden Foundation</a>, sought to share information and inspiration. <h2>The good life</h2> Given the many benefits of productive gardening, this interest in increased self-sufficiency was an intelligent response to the pandemic situation. Experienced gardeners can produce enough fruit and vegetables year-round to supply two people from <a href="https://www.katlavers.com/the-plummery/">a small suburban backyard</a>. <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2211335516301401" title="Gardening is beneficial for health: A meta-analysis">Productive gardening improves health</a> by providing contact with nature, physical activity and a healthier diet. Contact with <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6780873/" title="Does Soil Contribute to the Human Gut Microbiome?">good soil bacteria</a> also has positive health effects. While Australians have traditionally valued the feeling of independence imparted by a degree of self-sufficiency, psychological benefits arise from the <a href="https://uwap.uwa.edu.au/products/reclaiming-the-urban-commons">social connectedness encouraged by many forms of productive gardening</a>. Amid COVID-19, gardeners gathered online and community gardens around the world brought people together through gardening and food. In some areas, community gardens were <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/london/ontario-community-gardens-essential-1.5545115">declared essential because of their contribution to food security</a>. Although Australian community gardens paused their public programs, most remained open for gardening adhering to social distancing regulations. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/329929/original/file-20200423-47826-1iul3x5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="" /> Community gardens have an important role to play in food resilience. Andrea Gaynor <h2>We always dig deep in a crisis</h2> Vegetable gardening and poultry-keeping often surge in popularity during times of social or economic insecurity, such as the COVID-19 pandemic. These responses are built on an established Australian tradition of home food production, something I have <a href="http://www.environmentandsociety.org/sites/default/files/key_docs/harvest_of_the_suburbs__andrea_gaynor_with_title_and_content.pdf">researched in depth</a>. Yet history tells us it’s not easy to rapidly increase self-provisioning in times of crisis – especially for those in greatest need, such as unemployed people. This is another reason why you should plant a vegetable garden (or keep your current one going) even after the lockdown ends, <a href="https://www.sustain.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Urban-Agriculture-Manifesto-2020-1.pdf">as part of a broader suite of reforms</a> needed to make our food systems more fair and resilient. In the second world war, for example, Australian food and agricultural supply chains were disrupted. In 1942-3, as the theatres of war expanded and shortages loomed, the YWCA organised women into “<a href="https://www.awm.gov.au/articles/encyclopedia/homefront/victory_gardens">garden armies</a>” to grow vegetables and the federal government launched campaigns encouraging home food production. Community-based food production expanded, but it was not possible for everyone, and obstacles emerged. In Australia, there were disruptions in the supply of seeds, fertiliser and even rubber for garden hoses. In London, resourceful gardeners scraped pigeon droppings from buildings to feed their victory gardens. Another problem was the lack of gardening and poultry-keeping skills and knowledge. The Australian government’s efforts to provide good gardening advice were thwarted by local shortages and weather conditions. Their advertisements encouraging experienced gardeners to help neighbours may have been more effective. <a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/334896/original/file-20200514-167768-brf3j3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/334896/original/file-20200514-167768-brf3j3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="" /></a> Australian government ‘Grow Your Own’ campaign advertising, 1943. National Archives of Australia, Author provided Home food production has also increased during times of economic distress. During the <a href="https://www.nma.gov.au/defining-moments/resources/great-depression">Great Depression</a> in the 1920s and 1930s, a health inspector in the inner suburbs of Melbourne reported, with satisfaction, that horse manure was no longer accumulating: <blockquote> … being very much in demand by the many unemployed who now grow their own vegetables. </blockquote> The high inflation and unemployment of the 1970s – as well as the oil shocks that saw steep increases in fuel prices – saw more people take up productive gardening as a low-cost recreation and buffer against high food prices. The urge to grow your own in a crisis is a strong one, but better preparation is needed for it to be an equitable and effective response. <a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/329926/original/file-20200423-47804-pldop7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/329926/original/file-20200423-47804-pldop7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="" /></a> How to grow your own vegetables… as long as you like endive. Andrea Gaynor <h2>Beyond the pandemic</h2> The <a href="https://www.9news.com.au/national/coronavirus-home-gardening-explosion-fruits-vegetables-lockdown/3cf0476b-9fe0-432e-b5c9-d37b9390a12f">empty shelves at nurseries and seed suppliers</a> seen earlier this year tell us we were again insufficiently prepared to rapidly scale up productive home gardening. We need to develop more robust local food systems, including opportunities for people to develop and share food production skills. These could build on established programs, such as western Melbourne’s <a href="https://mysmartgarden.org.au/">My Smart Garden</a>. Particularly in built-up urban areas, provision of safe, accessible, free or low-cost gardening spaces would enable everyone to participate. More city farms with livestock, large-scale composting and seed saving, can increase local supplies of garden inputs and buffer against external disruption. Like other crises before it, COVID-19 has exposed vulnerabilities in the systems that supply most Australians with our basic needs. While we can’t grow toilet paper or hand sanitiser, there is a role for productive gardens and small-scale animal-keeping in making food systems resilient, sustainable and equitable. Self-provisioning doesn’t replace the need for social welfare and wider food system reform. But it can provide a bit of insurance against crises, as well as many everyday benefits.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/135359/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/andrea-gaynor-285129">Andrea Gaynor</a>, Associate Professor of History, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-western-australia-1067">The University of Western Australia</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/if-you-took-to-growing-veggies-in-the-coronavirus-pandemic-then-keep-it-up-when-lockdown-ends-135359">original article</a>. Image: Shutterstock

Home Hints & Tips

Five strict rules every royal bride HAS to follow

Royal weddings are widely publicised and look absolutely stunning. But there are some behind-the-scenes rules that dictate how each and every royal wedding goes, including these five. 1. Permission is needed from Her Royal Highness Unlike most of us, royal couples must get the tick of approval before they can get engaged, thanks to the Royal Marriages Act 1772. The Queen is also well within her right to say no to couples, with one example being the time she prevented her sister Margaret from marrying war hero Peter Townsend. Luckily, Queen Elizabeth has approved almost all of the royal weddings in the last few decades. 2. Royal brides-to-be undergo training For those brides-to-be who aren’t born royal, there are some things they need to learn before they can join the royal family. ‘Commoners’ are taught royal customs and protocols before their big day, including how to curtsey, how to carry themselves, and even which hand to carry bags in. They also learn how to work with security personnel to ensure that they’re safe. 3. Wedding outfits are somewhat restricted Though choosing a wedding dress is one of the fun parts of the preparations, royal brides must choose a dress that follows royal standards of fashion, has the Queen’s approval, and can’t be too revealing. Brides are also only allowed to wear British designers on their special day. The wedding day also comes as the first time royal brides can wear a tiara - a right limited to married royals. But, the tiara isn’t designed to match their dress or accessories, and is instead chosen from the Queen’s own collection. Royals are also restricted in their choice of wedding rings, as all royal wedding bands (for the bride and groom) must be made from Welsh gold gifted to them by the reigning monarch. 4. Brides must follow bouquet traditions Flowers are another important part of the wedding tradition, and royal weddings have some particular rules they need to follow. For their own bouquets, brides can choose whatever flowers they like, but sprigs of myrtle should be featured. The tradition of including myrtle in bouquets dates back to 1858 and the wedding of one of Queen Victoria’s daughters, and it has been included in almost every bouquet since. After the wedding, royal brides must also follow another tradition regarding their bouquets. While many ‘commoner’ brides choose to dry or press their flowers as mementos, royals must lay their bouquets at the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior in Westminster Abbey. The tradition, done out of respect for those who lost their lives in war, was started in 1923 by Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon, the Queen’s mother. She placed her flowers at the tomb in memory of her brother, who died at the 1915 Battle of Loos. 5. Official portraits are a MUST Taking photographs during weddings is a must for almost every bride, and the royals are no exception. Every newlywed royal couple is required to pose for official portraits after their ceremonies, and usually take individual portraits and photos with different members of the royal family and bridal party. Though it can be a lengthy process, the photos become a treasured memento for each wedding. Image: Getty Images

Relationships

Simple things we'll miss from lockdown

<span data-sheets-value="{"1":2,"2":"With many of us heading \"back to normal\", there are some aspects of lockdown we'll miss in our everyday life. Read more:"}" data-sheets-userformat="{"2":829,"3":{"1":0},"5":{"1":[{"1":2,"2":0,"5":{"1":2,"2":0}},{"1":0,"2":0,"3":3},{"1":1,"2":0,"4":1}]},"6":{"1":[{"1":2,"2":0,"5":{"1":2,"2":0}},{"1":0,"2":0,"3":3},{"1":1,"2":0,"4":1}]},"7":{"1":[{"1":2,"2":0,"5":{"1":2,"2":0}},{"1":0,"2":0,"3":3},{"1":1,"2":0,"4":1}]},"8":{"1":[{"1":2,"2":0,"5":{"1":2,"2":0}},{"1":0,"2":0,"3":3},{"1":1,"2":0,"4":1}]},"11":4,"12":0}">Though the downsides of the coronavirus lockdown outweigh the benefits, there are some aspects we may come to miss as we return to normal, everyday life. <span data-sheets-value="{"1":2,"2":"With many of us heading \"back to normal\", there are some aspects of lockdown we'll miss in our everyday life. Read more:"}" data-sheets-userformat="{"2":829,"3":{"1":0},"5":{"1":[{"1":2,"2":0,"5":{"1":2,"2":0}},{"1":0,"2":0,"3":3},{"1":1,"2":0,"4":1}]},"6":{"1":[{"1":2,"2":0,"5":{"1":2,"2":0}},{"1":0,"2":0,"3":3},{"1":1,"2":0,"4":1}]},"7":{"1":[{"1":2,"2":0,"5":{"1":2,"2":0}},{"1":0,"2":0,"3":3},{"1":1,"2":0,"4":1}]},"8":{"1":[{"1":2,"2":0,"5":{"1":2,"2":0}},{"1":0,"2":0,"3":3},{"1":1,"2":0,"4":1}]},"11":4,"12":0}">Here are just some that you may miss once we go back to "normal". Getting to see your kids grow in real time Working parents know all too well the pain of missing important milestones like baby’s first steps or a first lost tooth. Pictures and video just aren’t the same. But being in lockdown allowed us to watch our kids grow in real time, without the interruption of school, work, or daycare. It’s amazing how much little ones change, even day to day. FaceTiming grandma every night at bedtime Video and regular calls went way up during lockdown as people felt the urge to reach out to loved ones more frequently. Even if relatives weren’t directly in harm’s way, we still wanted to check in and make sure everyone was doing well. Not only that but we had the time for extended chats, allowing for a deeper level of connection. More options for working from home Companies that had always said that there was no way their employees could work from home suddenly found a lot of effective and interesting ways to make it work when they had to. Lockdown showed us how to really take advantage of technology to simplify jobs and cut out a lot of unnecessary meetings and busy work. Fresh-baked bread and three-course meals It’s almost certain that you increased your cooking skills during lockdown, with many people finding real joy in learning to create in the kitchen. Busy nights call for quick food you can throw together (or take out!), but lockdown nights allowed for slower, more complex meals. We got to re-learn what it’s like to enjoy the process of making and eating good food. The week-long board games Activities normally reserved for camping trips or power outages suddenly became the norm in lockdown as folks rediscovered their love for all kinds of games, from Monopoly to lawn darts to jigsaw puzzles to epic ping-pong battles. Seeing the bottom of your laundry basket It’s much easier not to fall behind on the basic household chores like laundry and dishes when you never leave your home! We had the time to do chores, but also more desire to do them, as we were confronted with the laundry mountain multiple times a day. Blowing your daily step goal out of the water It may sound strange that one of the best things about being forced to stay at home was the outdoors, but the truth is that while many of us were out of the house pre-lockdown, we weren’t spending much time outside. Lockdown made daily, or even thrice-daily, walks around the block something to look forward to. Then there was getting to soak in the sunshine as you worked from your deck or gardened or played with your kids in the yard. We got to watch sunrises, sunsets and cloud formations we never would have seen normally. Oh, and we logged so many more steps – when all you can do is walk, you do a lot of walking. All the overjoyed pets If there’s one group that was absolutely thrilled about lockdown, it was our pets. Dogs and cats (well, some of the cats) relished all the extra time, attention, walks and treats they got from owners. No longer did they have to watch mournfully at the window as we left; their humans were there with them all the time – exactly as they’d always wanted. We’ll definitely miss all those extra furry snuggles. Hooting and singing while hanging out of your car People couldn’t congregate as normal, so we were forced to find other ways to celebrate, including birthday drive-bys, Zoom game nights, Netflix parties and driveway gatherings. Not only were these get-togethers generally more chill, but they required a level of creativity and participation that made them feel fun in ways normal parties didn’t. Plus, when else are you not just allowed, but encouraged, to drive by your friend’s house multiple times as part of a parade while scream-singing “Happy Birthday” and honking? This article was written by Charlotte Hilton Anderson and first appeared in <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/things-youll-secretly-miss-about-lockdown" target="_blank">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a rel="noopener" href="http://readersdigest.innovations.com.au/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRA87V" target="_blank">here’s our best subscription offer.</a> Image: Getty Images <img style="width: 100px !important; height: 100px !important;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7820640/1.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f30947086c8e47b89cb076eb5bb9b3e2" />

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