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"I thought I was Bear Grylls": Woman speaks out after being trapped upside-down for 7 hours

<p>A young woman who spent hours stuck upside-down between two boulders has spoken out about her horrific <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/travel/travel-trouble/woman-rescued-after-getting-stuck-in-between-two-boulders" target="_blank" rel="noopener">ordeal</a> as she was reunited with her rescuers. </p> <p>Matilda Campbell, a 23-year-old from Newcastle, was on a trip away with friends in Laguna, about a 30-minute drive from Cessnock, when she dropped her phone between two huge rocks.</p> <p>The young woman climbed down to retrieve her phone, and when she got stuck upside-down, her friends called 000 for help. </p> <p>Paramedics had to move the boulders using a specialist winch to reach Matilda, before facing the tricky task of “navigating” her out from her precarious position.</p> <p>After suffering minor injuries from the ordeal, Matilda has spoken out about how she ended up in the sticky situation. </p> <p>“We wanted to see nature ... and we saw these beautiful rocks so we sat there ... and then my friend had my phone and it slipped off the rock,” she told <em>7News</em>.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBsj-x1CYI2/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBsj-x1CYI2/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by 7NEWS Sydney (@7newssyd)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“And I thought oh no I’m still paying off that phone I need it ... so I ventured down and thought I was Bear Grylls ... and I slipped head first into the crevice where I was stuck for seven hours."</p> <p>“I didn’t freak out at the start ... it took me about half an hour to realise I was fully stuck and then I started to have a big cry."</p> <p>“I’m very thankful I was with my friends, otherwise it would have been a very different story.”</p> <p>Campbell has since been reunited with her rescuers, to whom she says she owes her life, as she said, “I’m just thankful to see them again ... I wouldn’t be here today without them. So, I’m really thankful.”</p> <p>Specialist rescue paramedic Peter Watts said the rescue was “challenging but incredibly rewarding”, saying after the rescue, “In my 10 years as a rescue paramedic, I had never encountered a job quite like this.”</p> <p>In total, the woman spent seven hours hanging upside-down before she was freed, with only minor scratches and bruises but still without her phone, which could not be retrieved.</p> <p><em>Image credits: 7News</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Boeing Starliner astronauts: what six months stuck in space may do to their perception of time

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ruth-ogden-1182467">Ruth Ogden</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/liverpool-john-moores-university-1319">Liverpool John Moores University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/daniel-eduardo-vigo-1631723">Daniel Eduardo Vigo</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/pontificia-universidad-catolica-de-argentina-5531">Pontificia Universidad Católica de Argentina</a></p> <p>Two astronauts marooned in space may sound like the plot of a Hollywood blockbuster, but for two <a href="https://www.nasa.gov/">Nasa</a> crew members, it is now a reality. Commander Barry Wilmore and pilot Sunita Williams are currently in limbo on the International Space Station (ISS).</p> <p>They arrived in the Boeing Starliner spacecraft – the first test of the spaceship with astronauts. Wilmore and Williams were supposed to stay on the ISS for around eight days and return on the same spacecraft. But there is now debate about the safety of Starliner after it experienced <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c6pp29gdwe6o">helium leaks and thruster problems</a> on its way to the ISS.</p> <p>In coming days, Nasa and Boeing may decide to clear Starliner to carry the astronauts back to Earth. This means their stay might not last too much longer. But if officials decide against Starliner, the astronauts face waiting an <a href="https://www.nasa.gov/news-release/update-nasa-boeing-to-stream-flight-test-mission-briefing-on-nasa/">additional six months in orbit</a> before returning. So how do astronauts cope with a potential six-month wait for a lift home?</p> <p><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0022249685900203">Waiting for things is difficult</a> at the best of times. Under normal circumstances, it is <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2043808718778982">frustrating, stressful and anxiety-provoking</a>. But in extreme situations, with high stakes, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1365-2648.2011.05638.x?casa_token=jC_hT4wqbuIAAAAA%3AGTrJPmd496aDTdirdwYi7CvLK8Q1g_oR-Em2E3EpDP0AwRCs2ko13Jpqui15BlkPiAx7MMRqA0MC">waiting can be purgatory</a>.</p> <p>Part of the reason that waiting is difficult is that it distorts our sense of time. Think of last time you were waiting for a delayed train, test results or a text from a potential new partner. Did it fly by or drag? For most people, time spent waiting crawls at a glacial pace. As a result, delays and periods of anticipation often feel much longer than they actually are.</p> <p>Waiting slows our perception of time, because it changes the amount of time that we spend <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/23324610?casa_token=KmtJWWmtHwQAAAAA%3AN_CUdtNakK46j4ItZaH_f__QcIGOjMnasX1NeMTRFH5YPpcmYx1JpigTfTb1bPYi5Fcus-IhtzDX0Jsz3xpqZRMDUxg0RWYhSr87V-zXz_pqS0zM&amp;seq=2">thinking about time</a>. During normal daily life we often ignore time; our brains have a limited capacity. If time isn’t important, we simply don’t think about it, and this helps it to pass quickly.</p> <p>When we are waiting, our desire to know when the wait is over increases how much we think about time. This “clock watching” can make the minutes and hours feel like they are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0278-2626(90)90026-K">passing at a snail’s pace</a>. Stress, discomfort and pain exacerbate this effect, meaning that waiting in difficult situations <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/ejp.2211">can seem even longer</a>.</p> <p>Waiting also slows our perception of time because it what we do and how we feel. Normal life is busy and full of ever-changing activities and interactions. The sudden need to wait halts the flow of life, often leaving us with nothing else to do, thus increasing levels of boredom and frustration.</p> <p>In general, time filled with activity <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0278-2626(90)90026-K">passes more quickly</a>. We all got a taste of this during <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0235871">COVID lockdowns</a>. When we were stuck inside unable to see friends and engage in normal daily activities, the loss of routine and distractions caused time to drag for many.</p> <p>For the astronauts stuck on the ISS, anxiety about when they will return, limited opportunities for activities and fewer opportunities to contact friends and families combine to make their wait to return home feel significantly longer than six months – if it should come to that.</p> <p>However, as academics who research the effects of time on human psychology and biology, our ongoing work with crew members at research stations in Antarctica aims to shed light on whether waiting in extreme environments is different to waiting during normal daily life.</p> <h2>A year in Antarctica</h2> <p>While being stuck for six months on the ISS may sound like many people’s worst nightmare, it is not uncommon for scientists to spend long periods isolated and confined in extreme environments. Every year, organisations such as the Instituto Antártico Argentino (which uses the Belgrano II Antarctic station), the French Polar Institute and the Italian Antarctic Programme, in cooperation with the European Space Agency (which all use Antarctica’s Concordia station), send crews of people for up to 16 months to conduct research on the frozen continent.</p> <p>During the March to October <a href="https://www.bas.ac.uk/">polar winter</a>, teams spend six months in near darkness – and from May to August, in complete darkness – facing outside temperatures of up to -60C, wind speeds of 160 km/h (100 mph) and storms which prevent almost all outdoor activity. Limited internet coverage can also prevent constant communication with the outside world.</p> <p>For the last year, we have researched how life in Antarctica influences people’s experience of time. Each month, we asked crew members how time felt like it was passing in comparison to before their mission. Trapped on base, with limited contact with the outside world, you might expect time to drag. However, our results suggest the opposite may be true.</p> <p>Analysis of crew members’ experiences indicated that being constantly busy with complex tasks such as scientific research helped time to pass swiftly, according to 80% of crew responses. Only 3% of responses indicated that time actually dragged, and these reports occurred when nights were long and there was little to do.</p> <p>These experiences may provide hope for those stuck on the ISS. Like life on an Antarctic station, these Nasa astronauts have a busy and mentally demanding existence. These factors may help time to pass quickly.</p> <p>However, a key factor of their wait may be their ability to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2043808718778982">tolerate the uncertainty</a> of when they will return. Wilmore and Williams will spend their time in a space equivalent to the <a href="https://www.nasa.gov/international-space-station/space-station-facts-and-figures/">inside a Boeing 747</a> plane. But better information about “when” things will happen and “why” delays are being incurred can help people to tolerate waiting and reduce its impact on their wellbeing.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/236546/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ruth-ogden-1182467">Ruth Ogden</a>, Professor of the Psychology of Time, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/liverpool-john-moores-university-1319">Liverpool John Moores University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/daniel-eduardo-vigo-1631723">Daniel Eduardo Vigo</a>, Senior Researcher in Chronobiology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/pontificia-universidad-catolica-de-argentina-5531">Pontificia Universidad Católica de Argentina</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: NASA</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/boeing-starliner-astronauts-what-six-months-stuck-in-space-may-do-to-their-perception-of-time-236546">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Mind

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Stuck in fight-or-flight mode? 5 ways to complete the ‘stress cycle’ and avoid burnout or depression

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <p>Can you remember a time when you felt stressed leading up to a big life event and then afterwards felt like a weight had been lifted? This process – the ramping up of the stress response and then feeling this settle back down – shows completion of the “stress cycle”.</p> <p>Some stress in daily life is unavoidable. But remaining stressed is unhealthy. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2568977/">Chronic stress</a> increases <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32886587/">chronic health conditions</a>, including heart disease and stroke and diabetes. It can also lead to <a href="https://theconversation.com/were-all-exhausted-but-are-you-experiencing-burnout-heres-what-to-look-out-for-164393">burnout</a> or <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5137920/">depression</a>.</p> <p>Exercise, cognitive, creative, social and self-soothing activities help us process stress in healthier ways and complete the stress cycle.</p> <h2>What does the stress cycle look like?</h2> <p>Scientists and researchers refer to the “stress response”, often with a focus on the fight-or-flight reactions. The phrase the “stress cycle” has been made popular by <a href="https://www.penguin.co.uk/articles/2019/03/complete-stress-cycle-emotional-exhaustion-burnout">self-help experts</a> but it does have a scientific basis.</p> <p>The <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK541120/">stress cycle</a> is our body’s response to a stressful event, whether real or perceived, physical or psychological. It could be being chased by a vicious dog, an upcoming exam or a difficult conversation.</p> <p>The stress cycle has three stages:</p> <ul> <li> <p><strong>stage 1</strong> is perceiving the threat</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>stage 2</strong> is the fight-or-flight response, driven by our stress hormones: adrenaline and cortisol</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>stage 3</strong> is relief, including physiological and psychological relief. This completes the stress cycle.</p> </li> </ul> <p>Different people will respond to stress differently based on their life experiences and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181835/#:%7E:text=The%20major%20findings%20regarding%20the,renin%2Dangiotensin%2Daldosterone%20system%20or">genetics</a>.</p> <p>Unfortunately, many people experience <a href="https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2023/01/polycrisis-global-risks-report-cost-of-living/">multiple and ongoing stressors</a> out of their control, including the cost-of-living crisis, extreme weather events and <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/family-domestic-and-sexual-violence/types-of-violence/family-domestic-violence">domestic violence</a>.</p> <p>Remaining in stage 2 (the flight-or-flight response), can lead to chronic stress. <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-chronic-stress-changes-the-brain-and-what-you-can-do-to-reverse-the-damage-133194">Chronic stress</a> and high cortisol can increase <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5476783/">inflammation</a>, which damages our brain and other organs.</p> <p>When you are stuck in chronic fight-or-flight mode, you don’t think clearly and are more easily distracted. Activities that provide temporary pleasure, such as eating junk food or drinking alcohol are <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/acer.14518">unhelpful strategies</a> that do not reduce the stress effects on our brain and body. Scrolling through social media is also not an effective way to complete the stress cycle. In fact, this is associated with an <a href="https://www.apa.org/monitor/2022/11/strain-media-overload">increased stress response</a>.</p> <h2>Stress and the brain</h2> <p>In the brain, chronic high cortisol can <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4561403/">shrink the hippocampus</a>. This can <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1557684/#:%7E:text=The%20hippocampal%20formation%20plays%20a,%2C%20memory%2C%20motivation%20and%20emotion.&amp;text=Therefore%2C%20reduced%20hippocampal%20volumes%20should,in%20patients%20with%20major%20depression">impair a person’s memory</a> and their capacity to think and concentrate.</p> <p>Chronic high cortisol also <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2907136/#:%7E:text=The%20prefrontal%20cortex%20(PFC)%20intelligently,brain%20regions%20(BOX%201).">reduces activity</a> in the prefrontal cortex but <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352289514000101">increases activity</a> in the amygdala.</p> <p>The prefrontal cortex is responsible for higher-order control of our thoughts, behaviours and emotions, and is <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00761/full">goal-directed</a> and rational. The amygdala is involved in reflexive and emotional responses. Higher amygdala activity and lower prefrontal cortex activity explains why we are less rational and more emotional and reactive when we are stressed.</p> <p>There are five <a href="https://www.penguin.co.uk/articles/2019/03/complete-stress-cycle-emotional-exhaustion-burnout">types of activities</a> that can help our brains complete the stress cycle.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/eD1wliuHxHI?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">It can help to understand how the brain encounters stress.</span></figcaption></figure> <h2>1. Exercise – its own complete stress cycle</h2> <p>When we exercise we get a short-term spike in cortisol, followed by a <a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/exercising-to-relax">healthy reduction</a> in cortisol and adrenaline.</p> <p>Exercise also <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/exercise-and-stress/art-20044469#:%7E:text=Exercise%20in%20almost%20any%20form,distract%20you%20from%20daily%20worries.&amp;text=You%20know%20that%20exercise%20does,fit%20it%20into%20your%20routine.">increases endorphins and serotonin</a>, which improve mood. Endorphins cause an elated feeling often called “runner’s high” and have <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33396962/">anti-inflammatory effects</a>.</p> <p>When you exercise, there is more blood flow to the brain and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6721405/">higher activity</a> in the prefrontal cortex. This is why you can often think more clearly after a walk or run. Exercise can be a helpful way to <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/heart-disease/exercise-stress-relief">relieve feelings of stress</a>.</p> <p>Exercise can also increase the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3041121/">volume</a> of the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4915811/">hippocampus</a>. This is linked to better short-term and long-term memory processing, as well as reduced stress, depression and anxiety.</p> <h2>2. Cognitive activities – reduce negative thinking</h2> <p>Overly negative thinking can trigger or extend the stress response. In our 2019 research, we found the relationship between stress and cortisol was <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6987429/">stronger in people with more negative thinking</a>.</p> <p>Higher amygdala activity and less rational thinking when you are stressed can lead to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18628348/">distorted thinking</a> such as focusing on negatives and rigid “black-and-white” thinking.</p> <p>Activities to reduce negative thinking and promote a more realistic view can reduce the stress response. In clinical settings this is usually called <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt">cognitive behaviour therapy</a>.</p> <p>At home, this could be journalling or writing down worries. This engages the logical and rational parts of our brain and helps us think more realistically. Finding evidence to challenge negative thoughts (“I’ve prepared well for the exam, so I can do my best”) can help to complete the stress cycle.</p> <h2>3. Getting creative – a pathway out of ‘flight or fight’</h2> <p>Creative activities can be art, craft, gardening, cooking or <a href="https://heartmindonline.org/resources/10-exercises-for-your-prefrontal-cortex">other activities</a> such as doing a puzzle, juggling, music, theatre, dancing or simply being absorbed in enjoyable work.</p> <p>Such pursuits increase <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00761/full">prefrontal cortex activity</a> and promote flow and focus.</p> <p>Flow is a <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.645498/full">state of full engagement</a> in an activity you enjoy. It lowers high-stress levels of noradrenaline, the brain’s adrenaline. When you are focussed like this, the brain only processes information relevant to the task and ignores non-relevant information, including stresses.</p> <h2>4. Getting social and releasing feel-good hormones</h2> <p>Talking with someone else, physical affection with a person or pet and laughing can all <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-happens-in-our-brain-and-body-when-were-in-love-198885">increase oxytocin</a>. This is a chemical messenger in the brain that increases social bonding and makes us feel connected and safe.</p> <p>Laughing is also a social activity that <a href="https://neurosciencenews.com/laughter-physical-mental-psychology-17339/">activates parts</a> of the limbic system – the part of the brain involved in emotional and behavioural responses. This increases <a href="https://www.jneurosci.org/content/37/36/8581">endorphins</a> and <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27439375/">serotonin</a> and improves our mood.</p> <h2>5. Self-soothing</h2> <p>Breathing <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6189422/">exercises</a> and meditation stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system (which calms down our stress responses so we can “reset”) via the <a href="https://theconversation.com/our-vagus-nerves-help-us-rest-digest-and-restore-can-you-really-reset-them-to-feel-better-210469">vagus nerves</a>, and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/17437199.2020.1760727">reduce cortisol</a>.</p> <p>A good <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4035568/#:%7E:text=We%20conclude%20that%2C%20in%20addition,self%2Dsoothing%20effects%20of%20crying.">cry can help too</a> by releasing stress energy and increasing oxytocin and endorphins.</p> <p><a href="https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319631#:%7E:text=Possible%20benefits%20of%20crying%20include,of%201.9%20times%20a%20month.">Emotional tears</a> also remove cortisol and the hormone prolactin from the body. Our prior research showed <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29096223/">cortisol</a> and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9216608/">prolactin</a> were associated with depression, anxiety and hostility.<em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/theresa-larkin-952095">Theresa Larkin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/susan-j-thomas-1293985">Susan J. Thomas</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a></em></p> <h2>Action beats distraction</h2> <p>Whether it’s watching a funny or sad movie, exercising, journalling, gardening or doing a puzzle, there is science behind why you should complete the stress cycle.</p> <p>Doing at least one positive activity every day can also reduce our baseline stress level and is beneficial for good mental health and wellbeing.</p> <p>Importantly, chronic stress and <a href="https://theconversation.com/are-you-burnt-out-at-work-ask-yourself-these-4-questions-118128">burnout</a> can also indicate the need for change, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/wps.20311">such as in our workplaces</a>. However, not all stressful circumstances can be easily changed. Remember help is always available.</p> <p>If you have concerns about your stress or health, please talk to a doctor.</p> <p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call <a href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/">Lifeline</a> on 13 11 14 or <a href="https://kidshelpline.com.au/">Kids Helpline</a> on 1800 55 1800.</em><!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218599/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/theresa-larkin-952095">Theresa Larkin</a>, Associate professor of Medical Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/susan-j-thomas-1293985">Susan J. Thomas</a>, Associate professor in Mental Health and Behavioural Science, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a></em></p> <p><em>Image </em><em>credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/stuck-in-fight-or-flight-mode-5-ways-to-complete-the-stress-cycle-and-avoid-burnout-or-depression-218599">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Mind

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Pilot pitches in to free passenger stuck in plane bathroom

<p>A pilot has been forced to abandon his post at the cockpit to rescue a passenger trapped in the bathroom of a plane. </p> <p>While onboard a Delta Airlines flight from Salt Lake City to New Orleans, a father of two named Brent became stuck in the bathroom for 35 minutes during the short domestic flight. </p> <p>When it was discovered that Brent was not breaking out of the bathroom by himself, the cabin crew, including the pilot, stepped in to free the 34-year-old dad. </p> <p>After being refused a refund by the airline's customer service, Brent's dissatisfied partner shared a video of the moment the staff all rallied to heave the door open. </p> <p>Recounting the tale on Reddit, the woman suggested that her husband had fled to the bathroom to have a break from his two young kids. </p> <p>She wrote, "After 5 minutes, I wondered what was going on. Was he using this time as a much-needed break from my children’s whiney demands and frequent tantrums? I didn’t blame him."</p> <p>Brent's partner went on to explain that it wasn't until she heard another passenger say the word "stuck" did she realise her husband's predicament. </p> <p>She turned around to see two members of the crew yanking at the door to the rear cubicle as she watched on while she kept one eye on her young kids. </p> <p>The flight attendants enlisted the help of a male passenger who also failed to provide the magic touch, before the pilot emerged, 20 minutes into the ordeal, to have a go.</p> <p><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZWOyr4J2OBo?si=FSdSkXFv4WlClKXB" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <aside> <p>"It wasn't until Brent kicked the hell out of the door while the pilot was pulling as hard as possible that Brent finally made his escape," she wrote. </p> <p>Finishing off the post, the woman concluded that Delta asked her not to share the footage, filmed by another passenger who was closer to the end of the plane, but after not receiving a refund for their "terrible" journey, the mother decided to post them online. </p> <p>The post racked up hundreds of comments, with many people actually siding with the airline for not issuing a refund, suggesting that the author's response was not proportionate to what actually happened. </p> <p><em>Image credits: Reddit</em></p> </aside>

Travel Trouble

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"Coca coila": Robert Irwin rescues a python stuck in a vending machine

<p>Robert Irwin has successfully rescued a carpet python stuck a vending machine at Australia Zoo. </p> <p>The young conservationist took to Instagram to share the moment he rescued the snake with the caption: "So this was a first for me…"</p> <p>The carpet python was visibly stuck behind a few soft drink bottles, and as the vending machine was being opened, the 19-year-old joked, "here's our chance, free Coca Cola!"</p> <p>He then got down to business, trying to coax the snake out while explaining, "what we don't want is for him to go up into the wiring.</p> <p>"We don't want to make him too upset, 'cause we want him to come out nice and smooth," he added as he pulled the snake out of the vending machine. </p> <p>The young conservationist sounded exactly like his late father, Steve Irwin, as he tried to calm down the non-venomous snake. </p> <p>"Keep coming, mate, keep coming. Nearly there buddy, nearly there," he said. </p> <p>As he examined the snake, he pointed out that the snake must have gotten injured before. </p> <p>"This bloke has obviously got a spirit of getting himself caught in weird situations, 'cause he's missing the end of his tail. </p> <p>"We'll relocate this guy," he assured, as the snake wrapped around his arm, Robert wags a finger at him and jokingly says: "don't go in any more vending machines, alright?!"</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cw7cZl4hX4C/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cw7cZl4hX4C/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Robert Irwin (@robertirwinphotography)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Fans were in awe at Robert's striking resemblance to his late dad, and praised him for skills. </p> <p>"God you are the spitting image of the old man. He would be proud as punch," commented one fan. </p> <p>"I can hear his dad, “no more being a naughty boy!”" wrote another. </p> <p>"Call him coca coila," another quipped. </p> <p>"Watching you is like watching your dad many years ago. You're just such an incredible human," commented a fourth.  </p> <p>"Your dad must be screaming in the high heavens “that’s my boy” look at him fearless with the snake!" wrote another. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Woman "stuck" in the body of a child reveals dating problems

<p>A woman who says she is "stuck" in the body of a child has revealed the extraordinary measures she must take in the dating world. </p> <p>Shauna Rae measures 1.16m in height, making her the average height of an 8-year-old. </p> <p>However, the US woman is actually 22 years of age, and had her growth stunted by chemotherapy when she was young. </p> <p>In an interview with <a rel="noopener" href="https://people.com/tv/tlcs-shauna-rae-recalls-when-she-stopped-growing-at-age-16/" target="_blank">People</a> ahead of the release of her upcoming TV show <em>I am Shauna Rae</em>, Shauna said he has to take extra precautions when it comes to her dating life. </p> <p><span>“I have to have in-person conversations before we even think about going on a date. I have to know how this person reacts in public areas,” she said.</span></p> <p><span>“I have to know if they’re going to be able to deal with all the issues I have, because I can’t date someone unless they can take all of that on. And it’s a lot to ask someone to take on.”</span></p> <p><span>Despite her best efforts to meet her soulmate, Shauna said her "romantic life sucks".</span></p> <p><span>“I think I’ve dated like seven people. I attract creeps, a-holes – you know the typical ‘bad boy picture’ situation – and idiots,” she said.</span></p> <p><span>In the trailer for her new series, Shauna is seen meeting a man for a blind date, with the man thinking he is being pranked when she shows up. </span></p> <p><span>When Shauna was just six-months-old, she was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer and underwent chemotherapy treatment. </span></p> <p>“My pituitary gland was rendered almost dormant because of the chemotherapy,” Shauna says in the trailer.</p> <p>“The doctor told me I was done growing. My bones were fused, and my height is three feet and 10 inches (1.16m).”</p> <p>Shauna admitted to People that when she stopped growing at age 16, the revelation was "like a hammer crashing into glass".</p> <p>“It was a very difficult time,” she said.</p> <p>“It probably was the lowest time of my life, because I always imagined that I would be tall.”</p> <p>After spending time devoted to "bettering" herself, Shauna has learned to look on the bright side of life, and has come to terms with her size. </p> <p><span>“Being positive is just the best advice I can give, because at the end of the day, the only person that controls how you feel is yourself,” she said.</span></p> <p><span>Check out the trailer for <em>I Am Shauna Rae</em> here. </span></p> <p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/s7In-KGxduU" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p> <p><em>Image credits: Youtube</em></p>

Relationships

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"Stuck for hours": Removal of stairs traps woman in her home

<p><em>Image: TikTok</em></p> <p>A woman was shocked to find the stairs for her apartment complex had been removed without warning, leaving her, and other tenants trapped inside. She shared her story on TikTok, shocking over 1.2 million people over the strange decision that left her “stuck for hours”.</p> <p>Olivia Crump thought it was just an ordinary morning, opening her door to start her day, however as she peered outside, she realised something was terribly wrong. The stairs were gone.</p> <p>Olivia lives on the third floor of her apartment building with no way to leave without climbing over the ledge. She grabbed her camera to film the incident, later posting it to TikTok where it went viral.</p> <p>Olivia said in the video: “When your apartment removes the stairs without warning and you’re stuck for hours.”</p> <p>She posted it alongside the song ‘hell to the no’ and comments were quickly encouraging Olivia to contact a fire marshall. In an interview with the<span> </span>Daily Dot, the TikToker explained that “it was impossible to get down without climbing over the ledge with a ladder or scaling the side with a decent drop below”.</p> <p>“My apartment complex didn’t notify any of the residents beforehand (and still hasn’t reached out since this happened),” she said.</p> <p>Olivia revealed that she and her neighbours were stuck for nearly four hours before a worker granted her permission to go down the unfinished steps.</p> <p>The TikToker shared that she called her neighbours and they too were unaware the stairs were being removed. Olivia wrote in reply to a comment, “these complexes run by huge housing companies just mess with people’s lives and get away with it because people need places to live”.</p> <p>Comments were filled with people sharing similar stories and encouraging Olivia to take action.</p> <p>“Definitely a fire hazard. They should have had everyone leave or made a temporary alternative route,” one user wrote.</p> <p>“Building Code, Fire and Lease Violations. Hefty, hefty fines,” another said.</p>

Travel Trouble

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Australia’s tiniest hero gets stuck into storm clean-up

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A nine-year-old boy has been rolling up his sleeves to help with Victoria’s storm cleanup by dragging branches off the road and giving weather reports - all while wearing his own personalised SES shirt.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Judd Feeney from Mooney Ponds in Melbourne is obsessed with the SES and wears his SES t-shirt every day.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The storms and floods that hit the state last week inspired him to lend a hand and step up his “rescue training” so he can join the Essendon unit of the SES when he turns 15.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Along with clearing roads, Judd also records weather warning videos for the locals.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“This is Judd Feeney from SES. There’s a branch, you see? So don’t go on Maribyrnong Reserve,” he said in one video.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Be safe. Thank you very much. Bye.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In a second video, he warns Victorians of heavy winds and tells those in Traralgon to be on the lookout for crocodiles and hippos in floodwaters.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Please don’t go through floodwater and take action now to protect your home,” he says in the video.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Judd recently met one of his heroes, Kevin from the VICSES Essendon Unit.</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: SES</span></em></p>

Caring

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"We're not going to survive": Aussie couple stuck in extended quarantine speak out

<p>A couple stuck in hotel quarantine beyond the expected 14-day requirement say they understand why the system has been put in place but they would at least like some fresh air and empathy after being stuck in a room with no balcony.</p> <p>Geoff and Karen Crooks are having to remain in hotel quarantine for a further two weeks after the extremely contagious UK strain of coronavirus spread at the Grand Chancellor Hotel in Brisbane.</p> <p>"We're not going to survive in this room for another 14 days," Mr Crooks told<span> </span><em>A Current Affair</em><span> </span>host Leila McKinnon.</p> <p>Mr Crooks was unable to attend his brother's funeral due to the quarantine directive and said it hasn't been easy due to the lack of help and him waiting all day to see a nurse.</p> <p>"Understand what issues we're having," he said.</p> <p>Mrs Crooks said the news they would have to remain in quarantine for an extra two weeks was broken to them by police just over an hour before they were scheduled to leave, which wasn't easy to hear.</p> <p>But their issue is not with hotel quarantine, they just want it to be more comfortable.</p> <p>"I doubt very much whether the premier of Queensland has even talked to anybody who's gone through quarantine and understands just the circumstances you've got to stay in. This room is 10 paces across," Mr Crooks said.</p> <p>Mr Cooks has now been tested five times, with all tests coming back as negative, including a pre-travel test which was done in the US and a test he requested because of sinus issues while in quarantine.</p> <p>He said he was surprised more wasn't done earlier as the severity of the UK strain has been known for quite a while.</p> <p>"It was three levels above us, six days before that we knew about it," Mr Crooks said.</p> <p>While the couple knows they won't be let out soon, and they don't expect to be, they do want others to know that they aren't sitting by the pool drinking cocktails.</p> <p>"We were prepared to do quarantine, we knew all about it, we've done our homework, that's part of the system. (But) it's about doing it again (and) making sure the facility was better than the last time, have some compassion," Mr Crooks said.</p> <p>He said their new room is smaller than their first and now had no balcony.</p> <p>He would like Ms Palaszczuk to give people a call and talk to them to understand the issues with the rooms, which he said were designed for a one-to-two night stay, not for two or four weeks of quarantine.</p> <p>Mrs Crooks said it was lucky she and her husband get on, but she feels for those doing it on their own.</p> <p>The couple said an online quarantine community has helped during their stay.</p> <p>"We would just like to say thank you to all those guys supporting us because there's a heap of people in our position," Mr Crooks said.</p>

Caring

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Stuck at home with your partner?

<p>That’s what many older retired couples do too, even when there isn’t a pandemic. Their experiences are worth listening to, because many psychology studies find that marriages among the Medicare-eligible set are the happiest of any cohort across the life span.</p> <p>A review of the research reveals a U-shaped pattern of marital happiness over the life cycle. Early marriage features many positive aspects interlaced with a lot of conflict, while older couples enjoy the highest levels of companionship with low levels of conflict. Midlife couples who are raising children are at the bottom of the U. They tend to see a plunge in their enjoyment of one another, along with an uptick in fighting.</p> <p>Of course, you might wish you could be securely retired with a partner right now, especially if you’re currently on your own. Working remotely or facing unemployment while running a one-room schoolhouse, planning three meals a day without running out of food and worrying about your family’s health makes retirement look like a dreamy vacation.</p> <p>But there are some important similarities between retirement and the isolation required by social distancing. Your social networks have shrunk. Without work connections and friends to meet for lunch or at the gym, a partner becomes more essential than ever. As a therapist who has been treating couples at all stages of life for almost three decades, I’m currently witnessing the relational challenges of this pandemic, a big magnifier that can bring out the very best and sometimes the worst in relationships.</p> <p><strong>Lean on me</strong></p> <p>Older, retired couples primarily focus on supporting one another: Can I depend on you when I need help, feel scared, worry about dying or don’t feel well? And am I willing to be that source of comfort and stability when you need me?</p> <p>No matter the age or stage of the couple, the current pandemic has revealed the need for much more mutual dependency. Can I count on you to protect yourself and us when you go to the grocery store? If I’m feeling scared about my parents’ health or mine, can I tell you? If teaching algebra (a subject I struggled with the first time around) to our children has pushed me to the breaking point, can I ask you to take over, kindly and with no eye-rolling?</p> <p>Now is an ideal time to develop your help-asking muscle and, in turn, to welcome your partner’s vulnerability. You can practice now for the years ahead when you’ll need to be comfortable with more mutual dependency – being able to count on and be counted on in moments of need and frailty.</p> <p><strong>Have fewer, kinder fights</strong></p> <p>My colleague, psychiatrist Bob Waldinger, brings octogenarian couples into his laboratory to study their conflicts. He told me that he often has trouble getting them to reenact a fight. Having had the same fights for decades, these older couples are quite bored at the prospect of another round. They already know the other one’s lines. Do we have to do this again?</p> <p>When older couples do fight, they tend to handle conflict better than younger ones: They are more likely to interject expressions of affection and are less prone to voicing disgust, belligerence and whining. Because the relationship is so central, they may be more likely to forgive their partners or let a grievance slide.</p> <p>So, try to catch a fight as it starts and consider saying to your partner, “Can we talk about something more interesting? We probably already know how this is going to unfold.”</p> <p>Or, if the conflict is important to air, try to remember that you can say something kind without surrendering, or give a warm nonverbal smile or touch.</p> <p>It’s also a good idea to refrain from making any contemptuous or nasty comments. Couples researchers recommend following the “magic ratio” of 5 to 1 during a fight to secure a stable relationship: Try to say five positive things to every one zinger or negative comment. This ratio, which may seem outlandish, is based on the fact that negative interactions carry more weight than positive ones.</p> <p><strong>Focus on the present reality</strong></p> <p>Studies suggest that older couples focus on the present and are better able to accept the relationship as it is, rather than looking ahead to a time when it is going to be transformed.</p> <p>While they may not discuss their own mortality, older couples’ perspectives are shaped by a shorter time horizon. They typically pay more attention to positive experiences, want to understand their emotions better and focus on a smaller group of close friends and family.</p> <p>Try focusing on what is good about your relationship. What do you admire and feel grateful for? If you focus on the ways your partner is supportive, research shows that both you and your spouse will feel better about the relationship. Focusing on emotion will not be hard during a pandemic that elicits powerful feelings of anger, fear, worry, grief, love and gratitude. What can you learn about your partner that you didn’t know before about his or her strengths, ways of coping and cracks in that coping?</p> <p>Being stuck with your partner 24/7 may leave you pondering the expression “for better or worse, but not for breakfast, lunch and dinner.” But you may come out the other side with some new skills. You don’t have to wait for retirement to have a stronger relationship.</p> <p><em>Written by Misha Ketchell. This article first appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/stuck-at-home-with-your-partner-look-to-retirees-for-how-to-make-it-work-134834">The Conversation</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

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5 tips for communicating with your partner while stuck at home

<p>Many of us are several weeks into stay-at-home directives from our governments and health officials. For many, social distancing means sharing a confined space with romantic partners while navigating new stressful issues including sudden unemployment, working from home, child care and the never ceasing uncertainty.</p> <p>Unsurprisingly, there are reports of <a href="https://thehill.com/homenews/news/490564-divorces-skyrocket-in-china-amid-lockdown">divorce rates skyrocketing in China</a> since the outbreak of COVID-19. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000227">Instability and stress can exacerbate insecurities and increase conflict for couples</a>. As a scholar and a couple and family therapist, I offer five practical, evidence-based tips for couples when being stuck at home is making you feel stuck in your relationship.</p> <p><strong>1. Take space</strong></p> <p>Sharing a physical space with your partner for extended periods of time can increase pressure and stress. Without the daily routine of leaving the home, your space may begin to feel very small and irritation with one another may escalate quickly.</p> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167217733073">Research demonstrates that actively choosing to take alone time can contribute to relaxation and reduced stress</a>. Consider taking regular blocks of alone time each day, whether it is a walk around the neighbourhood, closing the door to a room where you will not be disturbed or engaging in an activity that is just for you.</p> <p>Communicating how you plan to take space will help your partner know how to support your efforts, and will encourage them to do the same. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you will have little to offer your partner.</p> <p><strong>2. Where possible, use “I” statements</strong></p> <p>When you need to tell your partner how you feel, try to speak from your perspective as opposed to accusing them of doing something wrong. For example, “I feel really defeated when I continue to find dirty dishes in the sink. Is there any way you can help me keep the kitchen clean?”</p> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.7717/peerj.4831">Using “I” language has been found to reduce perceptions of hostility and anger</a>. “I” statements can help your partner hear your perspective instead of interpreting it as an attack and becoming defensive.</p> <p><strong>3. Press pause</strong></p> <p>Press pause on conflicts that are not going anywhere and set a time to try again later. When conflicts become heated, many couples enter into an automatic “<a href="https://wwnorton.com/books/Emotional-Intelligence-in-Couples-Therapy">fight, flight or freeze</a>” response.</p> <p>Our brains can experience conflict as a threat, and emotions and defences can become activated. When this happens we shut down and conflict resolution becomes impossible. If you notice you or your partner getting angry or distressed in a conflict, request to put the conversation on pause to give you both a chance to step back, breathe and think.</p> <p>Once stress levels are lower, <a href="https://www.wiley.com/en-ca/The+Handbook+of+Conflict+Resolution:+Theory+and+Practice,+3rd+Edition-p-9781118526866">complex thinking, reflection and reasoning become possible</a>. Set an agreed upon time to return to the discussion when you’re both awake, nourished and feeling more calm.</p> <p><strong>4. What’s your part?</strong></p> <p>If you find yourself continuing to get stuck in conflict with your partner, ask yourself, what part do I play in this conflict? Do I nag or pursue my partner when I am feeling anxious? Or, do I have a tendency to shut down, or avoid my partner when I am feeling pressured?</p> <p>Emotionally focused therapist and researcher Sue Johnson, has found that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/clipsy.6.4.366">couples often get stuck in problematic interaction cycles</a>. Considering what role you take in a conflict cycle can help you try out new positions.</p> <p>For example, what happens when you respond to your partner’s anxiety with compassion as opposed to feeling annoyed and walking away? What happens when you share your worries with your partner, instead of getting angry at them for not taking the garbage out, or not helping enough with child care?</p> <p>Couples who are able to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10879-006-9034-9">adopt new positions in their relationship and try new ways of responding are more able to interrupt problematic interaction cycles</a>.</p> <p><strong>5. Acknowledge strengths</strong></p> <p>Try to acknowledge one another’s strengths. What special skills does your partner have to get through hard times? If your partner is the one making home school schedules for the kids, or braving the grocery store while you work, let them know they are appreciated and compliment their ability to handle difficult situations.</p> <p>Note what strengths they have that you admire. As <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/pas0000464">recent research demonstrated</a>, greater appreciation for one’s partner’s strengths predicted increased relationship satisfaction and intimacy. Acknowledging your partner’s positive attributes creates more good feelings between you.</p> <p>While these tips will help you mitigate conflict in your relationship, remember to not expect perfection. These are stressful times, and you will inevitably lose your patience and experience frustration. Compassion for yourself and your partner will go a long way as you navigate these uncharted waters together.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/135638/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kara-fletcher-1019443">Kara Fletcher</a>, Assistant Professor, Faculty of Social Work, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/love-in-the-time-of-coronavirus-5-tips-for-communicating-with-your-partner-while-stuck-at-home-135638">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

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"I feel safer here”: Australian stuck in Wuhan slams those not taking self-isolation seriously

<p>A 24-year-old teacher stuck in Wuhan during the coronavirus outbreak said she feels safer in China because Australians are failing to take the pandemic seriously.</p> <p>Shay Kearney, from Murwilluhmbah in north-eastern NSW, packed up her things and made the journey to the epicentre of the COVID-19 outbreak two years ago to teach English.</p> <p>For more than two months now, Ms Kearney has been holed up in her apartment after the city of 11 million was cut off from the rest of the world on January 23.</p> <p>“We didn’t really have time to process it. We just went straight into lockdown,” she told<span> </span><em>A Current Affair.</em></p> <p>“The streets were empty. We were stuck in our apartment, we couldn’t go anywhere and it felt like the apocalypse in a way. It was very scary.”</p> <p>The virus first emerged in China in December 2019, and since then has officially registered 81,470 coronavirus cases and 3,340 deaths.</p> <p>From April 8, residents will be allowed to leave Wuhan for the first time since January, as the city loosens its lockdown measures implemented to combat the virus.</p> <p>They are currently allowed outside for two hours a day as life slowly returns back to normal.</p> <p>Ms Kearney, who lives with her boyfriend, said she only intended to stay in China for a year but stayed on for a second because she loves her job.</p> <p>The 24-year-old revealed that Beijing initially downplayed the severity of the virus.</p> <p>“It’s just like the flu, it’s not that bad … that was before they even knew anything that was when we were just learning about the disease,” she said.</p> <p>Ms Kearney said it was “frustrating” seeing Australians failing to take the pandemic seriously.</p> <p>“I even spoke to my mum today and she’s like ‘people just aren’t getting it, people are at the beaches, people are just going to Bunnings’,” she said.</p> <p>“Australia’s just in this mindset that’s weeks behind everyone and it’s time to catch-up.</p> <p>“Honestly, I feel safer here.”</p>

News

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Cruise from hell: Passengers stuck in cabins as violence breaks out

<p>Passengers on a 10-day cruise in the South Pacific found themselves stuck in their cabins as violence erupted onboard, turning the holiday of a lifetime into the cruise from hell.</p> <p><a href="https://www.9news.com.au/" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Nine News reports</strong></em></span></a> two groups were behind the ongoing violence on the Carnival Legend, with threats made to stab passengers and throw them overboard.</p> <p>Passengers aboard Carnival Cruise Line’s Carnival Legend said there was ongoing violence between two groups, with threats made to stab and throw people overboard.</p> <p>"We are so scared after witnessing a traumatic experience with yet again the same offenders. It was a bloodbath."</p> <p>"We will not be leaving our cabins and are truly scared for our safety and what could happen in the next," a passenger told 9News.</p> <p>The ship’s operator Carnival Cruise Line was quick to hose down the situation, issuing a statement that said, "The vast majority of the guests onboard Carnival Legend are enjoying their 10-day cruise holiday to the South Pacific."</p> <p>"The ship's highly trained security staff have engaged with a small group of disruptive guests and ensured that they are fully aware of and are compliant with our zero tolerance policy."</p> <p>The ship is set to return to Melbourne tomorrow, and it will be interesting to get the full story from passengers once it’s back in dock.</p> <p>What are your thoughts? Have you ever had a bizarre incident at sea? </p>

Travel Trouble

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Adventurous toddler gets stuck in Westfield skilltester

<p><span>Jos Waechter was desperate to let her 13-month-old boy Lewis stretch his legs after their family embarked on a three-hour drive from the Riverland to Marion Westfield in Adelaide.</span></p> <p><span>Jos was playing the Emoji Movie skill tester arcade machine in the centre and after turning away to talk to someone, discovered Lewis inside the machine surrounded by plush toys.</span></p> <p><span>The family had made the road trip for their four-year-old daughter Abigail who wanted to see the </span><em><span>My Little Pony</span></em><span> movie.</span></p> <p><span>“While my husband Jason was inside with her watching the movie we waited outside,” Jos said.</span></p> <p><span>“We went to the playground and I let him run around a bit.</span></p> <p><span>“I struck up a conversation with some gentleman and had put $5 in the machine. I had a couple of tries and Lewis was at my feet playing with the control stick.</span></p> <p><span>“I was chatting to the guys and in the time it took to look away and back again he was gone.”</span></p> <p><span>The 38-year-old mother immediately thought Lewis had slipped down the side of the machine but then saw his head emerge among the plush toys inside the machine.</span></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span><img width="500" height="769" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/45713/1_500x769.jpg" alt="1 (1)"/></span></p> <p><span>The toddler has just recently started walking and his mother explained he was a fan of exploring cabinets and closets at home.</span></p> <p><span>A worker from the nearby arcade came and opened up the machine.</span></p> <p><span>“He was only in there for between five and 10 minutes,” Jos said.</span></p> <p><span>“When the owner got him out they gave him a little devil plush toy, which I thought was appropriate.</span></p> <p><span>“He’s just started walking so I know I’m going to have to keep an eye on him.”</span></p>

News

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Three-year-old NSW boy gets fingers stuck in bath plug hole

<p>A three-year-old boy from NSW has found his fingers stuck in the plug hole of his bathtub, with paramedics called to the scene to cut the toddler free.</p> <p>Leo’s mother, Corinne Deiner, knew she was going to be in for a long night when she noticed that her three-year-old had become a little too curious for his own good.</p> <p>"I hear this voice go, 'I'm stuck', and I'm like, 'oh, what kind of stuck'?", Corinne said.</p> <p>Remarkably though, despite Leo stayed calm through the whole ordeal.</p> <p><iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2F7NewsAdelaide%2Fvideos%2F1731610860202895%2F&amp;show_text=0&amp;width=560" width="560" height="315" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p> <p>"He was pretty much back against the wall, three fingers straight down, just sort of looked at me like, 'I'm in trouble aren't I?'", she added.</p> <p>It took an hour to free little Leo.</p> <p>"We flipped the plate out, and then once that was out, they put a film under each finger and had to cut each individual hole to get each finger out," Kahlie McLennan from NSW Ambulance said.</p> <p>Each finger was a little swollen but not injured.</p> <p>"I was very proud of him," Leo's mother said,</p> <p>"He cried only a little bit and that was when they were trying to cut the drain off his fingers."</p> <p>What a brave little boy! Have you ever had a child or grandchild become too inquisitive for their own good? Share your story in the comments section below. </p> <p><em>Hero image credit: Facebook / 7 News Adelaide</em></p>

Home & Garden

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Brisbane passengers trapped on train for 3 hours

<p>Passengers on Brisbane’s Ferny Grove line on Friday night had no idea of the nightmare that was about to unfold when they stepped onboard. At 6pm, the city-bound train broke down between stations, marking the beginning of an almost three-hour ordeal in which travellers were trapped, part of the time in total darkness.</p> <p>According to passenger Christian Berndt, 18, who had been heading into the CBD for a concert, the train came to a sudden stop between Windsor and Bowen Hills stations, causing sheer chaos onboard.</p> <p>Children were “bawling” and begging to be let off, while some commuters were forced to humiliatingly urinate in open carriages after being stuck for two and a half hours.</p> <p>“[One little boy’s] grandparents drank all of the water in [their water] bottle so the four-year-old could pee in the bottle,” Christian explained to <a href="http://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/incidents/brisbane-train-nightmare-passengers-stuck-twoandahalf-hours-on-ferny-grove-line/news-story/2da6029fb1be06dc97f7f5646b021444" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">news.com.au</span></strong></a>. “The four-year-old was so scared that his grandmother had to walk him up and down the train with her phone’s torch. He was visibly distressed. There was also a four-month-old baby in my carriage.”</p> <p>Passengers were told they would be evacuated after an hour and a half, but that time came and went with no one freed from the train. “The announcements were horrible,” said Christian. “We’d go an hour without hearing anything."</p> <p>“In the time it took to fix the train and get going again, we all could have gotten off safely, and reached a road to take a taxi, bus, Uber – literally anything would have been better than how it was handled,” Mr Berndt said.</p> <p>“My compensation for my three hours in the one spot was my $1.95 fare refund and a verbal apology. I’m obviously not too impressed with that.”</p> <p>A spokesperson for Queensland Rail, which has been in strife since late last year after the messy opening of its Redcliffe line, a driver shortage and massive delays in rolling out new trains, said the operator would be conducting a “full review” of the incident and refunding those affected.</p> <p>However, Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk says it’s not enough. “I think that’s pretty horrific. I don’t think anyone would want to be in that situation and I would hope that Queensland Rail will personally write to every single passenger on that train and apologise for the inconvenience.”</p>

Domestic Travel

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