Should couples have a TV in the bedroom?
My parents always kept a TV propped on their bedroom dresser. They’d switch it on to watch the news, stay awake through David Letterman’s opening monologue, and then eventually drift off to a blue movie of the late-night SBS variety. And, by everyone’s accounts, their marriage was a happy one. They bore six children from it, after all.
Yet these days, there’s a trend towards keeping it out, with many claiming it causes intimacy issues. This vocal cohort thinks the bedroom should be strictly for sleep, snuggles and talking.
Consider this statement from the Health and Family Welfare Minister of India: “When there is no electricity, there is nothing else to do but produce babies; but if there is electricity in every village, then people will watch TV till late at night and then fall asleep. They won’t get a chance to produce children.”
In India, the government views the bedroom television as an effective method of population control. Does this make you rethink your screens-in-the-boudoir policy?
Several studies have examined its impact on intimacy levels – but the jury’s still out. Some claim that it ramps up sex lives, while an equal number say the opposite.
We see where they’re coming from. Televisions are great, but they also tend to dominate whatever room they’re placed in, disrupting shut-eye and acting as a source of sound and visual distraction from more, err, primal activities.
The way we consume it has also changed. Smart TVs have put entire serialised dramas up for greedy all-in-one consumption. And with our tendency to binge-watch them to completion, it’s easy to cut into precious cuddle time. Too busy spending time with Olivia Pope and Don Draper, we forget about the perfectly adequate bedfellow sat beside us.
And think of the petty squabbles it can lead to. Beyond whether or not to have one in there to begin with, everyone has their own opinion on what to have on, when to turn it off, how loud to set the volume, and who controls the remote.
How do you negotiate the situation in which one partner is in bed watching television, while the other is trying to sleep? And once said partner has finally fallen asleep, just how angry are they allowed to be when the other prods them awake with “Hey, you’ve gotta see what’s on TV right now!” (Sidenote: As a litmus test, a truly unselfish lover would watch using the closed caption option.)
Then again, having a TV in the bedroom also encourages couples to engage in the most intimate of acts – watching it together. As Gogglebox shows us, nothing brings people closer like hate-watching talent shows or bonding over a three-part BBC mini-series. Television watching helps us to connect through talking and laughter. Think it will decimate your sex life? We beg to differ. As it turns out, tuning into John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight rants is quite the potent aphrodisiac.
Yet, like most intimate acts, shared TV shows can lead to complications. Everyone knows someone who’s cheated or been cheated on via that insidious betrayal known as TV series adultery. We’ve seen a spike in cases since House of Cards, Broadchurch and Game of Thrones. A treachery like that can dislodge the steadiest of long-term unions.
As with most things, perhaps moderation is key. Having a television in the bedroom is a bit like having a microwave in the kitchen, in that, not having one seems better in theory, but put one in and you’ll damn well use it, and love it.
Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with it. What’s worse is if you and your S.O. become that special kind of hipster couple who proudly exclaims, “We don’t watch TV,” but spends four hours a day watching Netflix on their laptops instead.
Written by Kathleen Lee-Joe. First appeared on Stuff.co.nz.
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