How to make habits that (actually) stick
Try as we might to eat better, exercise more, practice gratitude, stop stressing and spend more time in the garden, while our intentions are good, follow-through can often be the real challenge. For instance, how often have you given up on one of the above a few months in? Well, you’re not alone! Research has found that after just six months, more than 50 per cent of us have given up the goals we set in January. Not this time! We're rewriting the rules on how to make habits that actually stick!
Rule 1: Stay true to you
Before making a plan for a new goal or habit you want to form, you need to take one crucial step first. Get to know yourself! We can’t change until we know ourselves. While it may sound a little obvious, it’s a step many of us skip as we make plans and set goals. Consider the following: what do you like to do, what comes easily, what can you control. Considering who you are enables you to tailor your goals and habits to your particular idiosyncrasies and therefore increases the likelihood you’ll stick with your new plans.
The point is to figure out what works for you. Some people do better when they start small, others, when they start big. Some people need to be held accountable; some defy accountability. Some thrive when they give themselves an occasional break, others, when they never break the chain.
Rule 2: It’s a brain game
To develop a successful plan to get fit, you must override your brain’s impulses. The brain’s “hot” part is the limbic system, which is reflexive, primitive, and immediate, but it's also the “Gimme! Gimme!” part – the one that has you hitting the snooze button when you’re supposed to get up to go for an early-morning walk or agreeing to afternoon tea when you planned to go an aerobics class. To keep us from acting on all our desires, the brain is balanced with a rational and reflective “cool” system, located primarily in the prefrontal cortex, which developed later in the evolutionary process. According to the experts, when temptation strikes, the hot system activates and can lead to poor impulse control. But you can tap into your cool side to outsmart your habitual response by coming up with if-then scenarios.
If you regularly skip exercise, tell yourself, “If I finish all the house work by 5pm, I will put on my runners and go for walk down to the park and back.” Or, “If I only need milk, I'll walk to the corner store instead of driving to the supermarket.” Unlike a vague plan, which can easily be overruled by your hot system, a specific strategy can quickly bring your cool rational system into play – making you more likely to do the right thing.
Rule 3: Learn from you slip-ups – don’t use them to throw in the towel
You will give in to temptation – but that doesn't mean you should ditch your goal entirely. Just because you eat one Tim Tam doesn’t mean you should abandon healthy eating altogether and allow yourself to eat four more. Think positively rather than negatively: even when you slip up, get back onto the wagon, and resilience will eventually ensue. Here are some pointers:
If you do slip up, enjoy it!
Whatever your particular brand of contraband is – be that a little retail therapy or drowning your emotions in big chocolate brownie – don't beat yourself up. Slow down and appreciate it. Focus on the good feelings, not on the sense that you’re failing.
After a slip, get back on the wagon
Don't let yourself get drawn into “I’ve fallen of the wagon” syndrome – the idea that once you’ve overindulge, you’ve ruined the day, so anything goes. Instead, say to yourself, “Ok, yes, I veered off track momentarily, but I don't need to make it worse.” You can more easily find your way back from a 300-calorie mistake as opposed to a 3000-calorie slip-up.
Think happy thoughts
Following a slip-up keeping up the positive self-talk actually means you are less likely to fall into the same trap again. Think of your slip-up as a detour – it’s a much more positive way of thinking of it. Say, “Even if I'm meeting my goals only 70 per cent of every day or week, that’s 70 per cent more than before.” Always look at what you’ve done and frame it as an on-the-whole success.
Rule 4: Think small
Yes, this can be the year you finally kick your cake and tea a day habit or make exercise part of your daily regime. But why can’t it also be the year you read more books, laugh daily and daydream freely? These habits should also belong on everyone’s list.
Rule 5: Get techy with it
While having family friends is a great support system to keep you on track in anything you undertake in life, it’s just not possible to have someone there around the clock! Why not consider some handy apps as your 24-hour support system.
At-home workouts
When it comes to exercise, I am sure you can think up 100 excuses to put it off – from “There's no time to exercise” to “The gym’s too far”. Well you’ll have to push pause on those excuses now and download Nike+ Training Club. It’s a free app that offers 15, 30, and 45-minute workouts complete with instructional videos for every move that you can do in your living room.
Add it up
It probably comes as no surprise that research show that most of us underestimate how much we eat. Furthermore, how accurately can you gauge the calories in a sandwich you order at a café or a serving of the pasta you’re making for dinner tonight? To ensure you do underestimate (and therefore overeat) consider downloading a calorie counting app that does all of the hardwork for you. MyFitnessPal is a good one.
Rule 6: Write things down
According to the Dominican University in California, people who commit their goals to paper are more likely to follow through. So what are you waiting for, pick up your pen and start plotting your best year yet. Here are some things you should including in your goal writing…
- Give yourself some time to plan your goal and write all of your plans down.
- Set a starting date and write it down – there’s no turning back then.
- Now write down your goal – here a sample:
GOAL 1:…
I will…
If…, then...
If…, then...
For example:
I will stick to a healthy eating plan. In February, I commit to cutting out wine through the week and adding more salads too.
If I have something on through the week that involves a drink or meal out, then the next day I will walk for an extra 20 minutes.
If I’m finding it really hard to not have wine then I’ll call my exercise buddy motivate me and if I slip-up I won’t be hard on myself or completely give up, I’ll enjoy it and start again the next day.
Related links:
Why laughter really is the best medicine
7 ways to get the most out of life now