Ben Squires
Body

20 thoughts every beginner runner has

So you’ve decided to take on running. You’ve heard of the health benefits, and you’ve been meaning to get into exercise more. You have friends who run. Running is definitely for you. Well then, here are the thoughts you might expect to feel as a first-time runner.

1. I can run. Betty runs every day. If Betty can do it so can I.

2. Now that I’ve bought nice running shoes and workout clothes, I’ll have so much motivation to run. I feel healthier just wearing them.

3. Today is the day. I am going to start running. It’s time to get healthy.

4. It looks like it’s going to rain. Maybe I should wait for it to pass.

5. It’s too hot now. I should wait for the sun to lower a little bit.

6. Okay, no more excuses, I am going. I am running.

7. This isn’t so bad. This is what legs were made for. I am a gazelle. Look at me go.

8. What do I do with my water bottle? Do I hold it? Do people still wear bumbag? Should I get a fanny pack?

9. This sports bra isn’t doing anything. Does Betty have this problem with her sports bra? Betty doesn’t even have boobs.

10. I am so tired. How long have I been running? At least 10 minutes, it has to be. 3 minutes?! That’s it?

11. Oh no, people are coming my way. I am breathing too loud. They’re going to think that I’m dying.

12. I’ll slow down and just walk past them. Nothing to see here, folks. I run every single day. I am a natural. I am a running machine. I’m taking a break because I want to, not because I need to.

13. Time to speed up again. This hurts. Everything hurts. My lungs are on fire. Is that a shin splint? I’ve heard about those. I think I have a shin splint. My shins are splinted.

14. Do people actually like running? I think Betty is lying. I never trusted Betty.

15. Incoming joggers. Why do they look so happy? How do they make it look so easy? Come on, self, pick up the pace, you’re halfway done.

16. I hope this person ahead of me doesn’t think I’m following them. They keep looking back. Maybe if I just do a little smile and wave – nope, now it’s even more awkward.

17. It’s so hot. I am sweating. I hope I don’t run into anyone I know. No one should ever see me like this.

18. Oh look it’s Rob and Betty! And they’re jogging! As a pair! Hi guys! Yes, I have taken up running. No, I don’t want to stop and talk about it. Can’t stop now, I’m running too fast!

19. That was surprisingly motivating. I’m almost home.  When I get home, I’m never moving again.  There it is, it’s in sight. I can do it. Wait for me, couch! I’ll be there soon, shower!

20. I’ve made it! That wasn’t so bad. That was actually easy. I feel great. I feel invincible. I am a runner now. I wonder if I should run a marathon.

Tags:
exercise, health, body, welbeing