Tips for dealing with death in the digital world
Jennifer Tieman is the Associate Professor in Palliative Care and Supportive Services at Flinders University, and Director of CareSearch, the palliative care knowledge network.
Last week I got an invitation from Facebook to write on a friend's timeline wishing her a happy birthday. Nothing too strange about that... Facebook has been trying to organise my social world for a number of years. However, what gave me pause was that my friend had died earlier this year and I had been to a very moving funeral service remembering her. Sadly, not all her Facebook friends knew that she had died. Birthday wishes and plans to catch up sat awkwardly alongside some messages from her family remembering her.
We know the digital world is changing how we communicate and share but it is also raising new challenges for us in terms of how we manage a digital world and death. This has many aspects including who owns digital content and what happens to this content when we die. One estimate suggests that there are over 194 million Facebook users and that in 2016 around 900,000 of these users will die. So this is not a small problem. The last few years have seen some quite important shifts in recognising the need to sort out how we manage digital legacy, particularly relating to responsibility for decisions about accounts and ownership of digital content.
When you consider your phone and your computer or iPad you may have a lot of different accounts and you may be involved with a lot of different social media. Fortunately most of the major platforms such as Google, Facebook and Twitter have advice on how to make arrangements for a digital afterlife. Some lawyers and financial planners are adding digital arrangements to a list of things that you need to consider when making a will or a power of attorney. Palliative Care Australia has produced a handy booklet “Guide to a social media afterlife" that can help you think about what you would like to have happen to your accounts and your content.
Another less clear aspect of the digital world and death is the etiquette around online mourning and grief. Many friends will continue to post if accounts remain open. Some families and friends find that this ongoing support, remembrance and sharing is very important to them. Others can find it not only intrusive but shocking and jarring. In the real world, people share their feelings and their stories but this is face-to-face and we have cues from the person with whom we are engaging as to what is appropriate. In the digital world, posts are more public and less filtered. So as a community we are having to learn new online behaviours in response to bereavement and loss.
Digital legacies and online mourning are just two examples of how technology is shaping attitudes to death and dying in Australia. Our views and perspectives of death and dying are changing as our world is changing.
We are exploring some of these issues in a new and free Massive Open Online Course (MOOC). The course is called Dying2Learn and anyone can participate as it’s all done online. It is free and runs for four weeks, starting on June 27. It will be an exploration of social, cultural and technological aspects of death and dying.
You can find out more about Dying2Learn free online course and also register your interest in enrolling on our website here.
Related links:
10 beautiful quotes about grieving
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty for prioritising yourself
Top 5 things to consider when choosing a carer