10 funny vintage slang words people should start using again
In 1909, a British writer recorded thousands of Victorian slang words to make sure they were never forgotten. Now it's your turn to use them.
Mutton Shunter
Definition: Policeman
Usage: “Is the Queen in town or something? There’s mutton shunters on every blasted corner!”
Gigglemug
Definition: An habitually smiling face
Usage: “These Miss Universe contestants are just a bunch of gigglemugs.”
Fly Rink
Definition: A polished bald head
Usage: “Be sure to wear glasses if you go outside; Grandpa’s fly rink is blinding today.”
Juggins-Hunting
Definition: Looking for a man who will pay for liquor
Usage: “Jess forgot all her cash at home, so she’s off juggins-hunting again.”
Sauce-box
Definition: The mouth
Usage: “When my kids won’t stop talking, I give them some chips just to fill their little sauce-boxes.”
Bags o' Mystery
Definition: A satirical term for sausages, because no man but the maker knows what is in them
Usage: “Hope there’s no intestine in these bags o’ mystery; I’m trying to cut down on intestine.”
Arf'arf'an'arf
Definition: A figure of speech, meaning “drunk”
Etymology: Order an “arf-an-arf” (or “half-and-half”) in a London pub and you’ll receive a malty cocktail of half black beer, half ale. Add one more ‘arf of beer to the mix and your mug suddenly runneth over; you, chum, must be arf’arf’an’arf – that is, drunk.
Usage: “Charlie ordered another Guinness? He’s already arf’arf’an’arf!”
Gas pipes
Definition: Name given to trousers when tight
Usage: “I just saw this poor hipster get his gas-pipes stuck in his unicycle spokes and totally eat kerb.”
Pumblechook
Definition: Human ass
Etymology: From Uncle Pumblechook, a character in Dickens’ Great Expectations described as “that basest of swindlers”; greedy, pompous and piggish.
Usage: “This fat Pumblechook totally cut me off in his ute – then he gave me a sneer at the Macca’s drive-through.”
Row-de-dow
Definition: Riot
Etymology: A play on “row” (vintage slang for “quarrel”) or “rowdy.” Also spelled, “rowdydow.”
Usage: “When the police arrived to break up the Scrabble feud it escalated into a full-on row-de-dow.”
Written by Brandon Specktor. This article first appeared in Reader’s Digest. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, here’s our best subscription offer.
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