Why we dwell on the negative and how to stop
You’re more likely to remember more clearly the times when you felt unhappy compared to the happy times. That’s because these negative moments are processed in the brain in a different way to happy times, which is why we can remember them in such detail.
Think about your time at work – there’s a good chance you can recall huge amounts of detail from the time your boss hit you with some criticism, or when you had a bad performance review, rather than the positive feedback you got after securing a deal or delivering a project on budget.
The reason for dwelling on the negatives could be that they give us a chance to learn from our mistakes, and do better in the future.
But if analysing past mistakes is taking up too much brain space, and you are struggling under the weight of regret, try some of our tips for moving on.
See the past for what it is
If you’re thinking constantly about something that happened, it might be time to let it go. If you can’t go back and change it, at least learn from it and don’t make the same mistakes next time.
Find something else to think about
If you let yourself wallow in self-pity for too long there’s a good chance you won’t get much else done. Now could be the time to find another way to fill the quiet moments in your life. Sport, fitness, art, photography – there are loads of ways to keep yourself busy.
Think about what advice you’d give a friend
Often it’s very difficult to be objective with ourselves. But think about the issue and decide what advice you would give if your friend came to you with the same issue. Thinking like this can help you to look at both sides of the story.
Know that change is possible
It’s easy to beat yourself up or think that you are doomed to failure. But simply having the courage to try again can be enough to pull you out of the depths of negative thought.
Acknowledge the timeline
It takes time to get over past hurts or negative experiences. It’s not about putting it all behind you, rather it’s about knowing that it could take time to bounce back, and that’s OK. Focus on the things that you can control, and just keep moving forward.
Have you got any tips for moving on from negative thoughts? We would love to hear from you in the comments.
Related links:
Overcoming pain using the power of the mind
The 4 tricks guaranteed to make you a morning person
5 extraordinarily simple ways to be happy