How to tell if someone is lying
We all like to think that we are good judges of character. We think we can tell when someone is being genuine or when they’re trying to pull the wool over our eyes. But can we really? Here are five ways to catch out a liar.
1. Ask more questions
Lying is hard. It’s much harder than telling the truth. The liar must keep all the facts in their story straight, rather than just recounting a genuine memory. The brain is working overtime or, to use the technical term, has an increased cognitive load. To catch out a liar, you want to increase their cognitive load and make their brain work even harder – then it becomes more likely that they will slip up. Ask them questions, get them to elaborate on a point, ask for clarification on a detail. The more they have to think up on the spot, the more likely they will make a mistake and you’ll expose a hole in their story.
2. Listen for repeats
Lies will tend to be repetitive. The liar will repeat aspects of the story over and over again in an attempt to convince you they are true and drill them into your memory. Very often the phrases they repeat the most will absolve themselves of any responsibility – watch out for repeated instances of “I didn’t”, “I wasn’t there” or “I don’t know”.
3. The devil is in (too much) detail
In an attempt to create a plausible story, liars will often create elaborate tales that are overflowing with details. They are trying to compensate for the fact that the story is untrue by creating as many specific details as they can. If someone tells you a long, involved story when you haven’t requested it, be on your guard.
4. Watch your emotions
It can be easy to get caught up in the story of a liar. They will try to appeal to your emotions, rather than your logic. They may try to elicit sympathy by telling you a sad tale or get you excited about a new plan you could be involved in. When you let your emotions take over you pay less attention to the details and instead get caught up in the general mood. When someone is trying to manipulate our feelings with a lie, it is dangerous to trust your emotions. Stay cool and stay objective. Think logically about what is being said and don’t get swept away by an appealing lie.
5. Focus on the physical
Liars can be caught out by much more than the words that they say. There are a number of physical signs that can give people away. If this is someone that you know well, see if their overall tone or demeanour appears different. Deliberately lying generally makes people uncomfortable, so they may unintentionally change their manner. Lying also makes people nervous, so watch for fidgeting or fussing, fiddling with the hair or gestures that seem forced. People may cover their mouth, a subconscious move that indicates they know they shouldn’t be speaking. A liar can also become unreasonably aggressive or confrontational when questioned – hostile gestures or finger pointing can be a give away.
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