The surprising advantages of being invisible as you age
Del Dennis, 72, is wife to William, mother to five amazing women and “grammie" to 12 grandchildren. She has been involved in the health industry for 43 years.
And it appears that such facial images, along with the accompanying physical effects of ageing, leaves people in no doubt that the years have taken their toll. When we are encountered, it registers in a nanosecond to the observer: their eyes avert and glaze over, and it would appear as if their hearing has been affected. This response seems to cause anxiety to many of our senior citizens.
But there are many advantages to appearing invisible. First and foremost is that we should not need any sort of recognition from anybody. We know who we are. We have been fortunate enough to have experienced a great many of life's experiences. We have worked in our chosen careers, raised our families and participated actively in civic responsibilities.
Often these attributes were achieved by making mistakes, shedding buckets of tears and devouring decent portions of humble pie. Some of life's puddles we easily jumped, but a great many of them we seriously miscalculated. We know how it feels to be mentally wet and soggy!
We are in a place where we would not trade a beautiful face and younger body for what we have earned and lived through. We have earnt our wrinkles and now regard them as “reward points”. We can cash them in by sharing experiences with others, if that is what they wish, by being silent and just listening if somebody has a need to debrief, by enjoying the space when one realises that they have been judged to have little they could offer to a conversation.
We realise the value of listening to other voices: the voice from our heart and the messages from our brains. They are now the jewels in our lives. Stretch and exercise them and a new visibility will become apparent. Not a shallow cosmetic visibility, but a visibility that is rich, deep and satisfying.
It could not be imagined that women of the calibre of Dame Judi Dench, Mother Teresa, Maggie Smith, or men like Nelson Mandela, Elie Wiesel, Gandhi or Morgan Freeman, would ever be regarded as invisible. On the contrary, they, and countless others, shine as beacons in the world.
An older person can possess a sense of dignity that often comes with age and a poise not unlike that of an old oak tree that has weathered many seasons.
We should face the world with pride. We have earned it.
If you have a story to share please get in touch at melody@oversixty.com.au
Related links:
Poem captures what it’s like to get older
Can we really take old age one day at a time?