4 ways you accidentally make yourself miserable
If you spend any time in the online world, especially the one created by social media, you’ll be aware that the concept of “perfection” is a heavily promoted one. From perfect bodies to perfect homes and perfect families, platforms like Facebook and Instagram are virtually heaving with what we’re all supposed to be striving towards. And while the Internet and social media can often be dismissed as a ‘young persons’ world, evidence shows that over 50s and over 60s spend increasing amounts of time online and are not immune to the seductive powers of “online reality”.
It can seem to be a relatively harmless pastime but given the right level of exposure and vulnerability, this constant bombardment of perfectionism can end up becoming a destructive force. Here are four reasons why believing in "perfect" is contributing to your dissatisfaction in various areas of your life.
1. Trying to be perfect is preventing you from committing to a relationship if you're single, or being satisfied with your current one if you're not
Relationships aren’t perfect but if the online world is to be believed, they come pretty close. By accepting what you see on the screen as reality you often automatically compare your own relationship and find it comes up wanting. Being aware that every relationship, regardless of how it looks from the outside, has its ups and downs and ins and outs is key.
2. Trying to be perfect is making you hate your appearance
The majority of women in particular can empathise with the “If I just…” statement. It usually involves changing or altering something about yourself to become “perfect” and apparently result in “happiness”. “If I just lose five kilos/have those sun spots lasered off/whiten my teeth… THEN everything will fall into place.” It’s a false economy, however, because when you achieve those things you’ll realise that nothing has changed and the cycle will start all over again.
3. Trying to be perfect is making you suffer through the mundane parts of your job
If Facebook and Instagram are to be believed, 98 per cent of people find their careers fulfilling, exhilarating and financially rewarding. They show up each day with a spring in their step and a song in their heart. It certainly makes you, who dreads certain parts of their role or has days when you’d rather be somewhere else, feel as if you’re in the wrong career. The online world highlights the highlights (and deletes the lowlights). By not recognising what you love about your current role, you run the risk of never finding job satisfactions no matter how many paths you follow.
4. Trying to be perfect is making you resent everyday dissatisfaction and annoyances
A perfect world doesn’t have imperfect experiences or emotions, at least that’s what many in the spotlight would have you believe. Surely a perfect life doesn’t include a parking fine or big blob of tomato sauce on a brand new skirt. It’s very easy to fall prey to playing the victim when you come to expect a life devoid of challenges. This mindset can be very difficult to shift once you’re in it. Recognising that life is inherent with challenges is key.
Related links:
Why happiness equals better health and a longer life
Overcoming pain using the power of the mind