6 ways to deal with aggressive people
Unfortunately most of us will have to deal with aggressive people at some point in our lives. Whether it’s a family member, a colleague, friend, or even a neighbour – it seems as though it’s virtually impossible to get through life without having to face up to someone that can make you feel quite uncomfortable.
In general, a person becomes aggressive when they feel that they are about to lose something important to them (respect, money, power, friendship) and so they want to protect themselves. They tend to be focused on themselves rather than trying to find a solution to benefit both of you.
An aggressor will speak over you or talk loudly to get their point across. They dismiss your point of view or belittle you in order to ‘win’ an argument. Interacting with these sorts of people can leave you feeling exhausted as they use up your emotional energy.
If you need to deal with aggressive types, follow our advice below which will allow you to be heard.
- Out-shouting them is unlikely to resolve anything, so you are better of trying to keep your cool if you can. You can stay calm by doing some deep breathing before you speak.
- It can also be helpful to even ask the person to calm down and speak to you in a more respectful way, as often they don’t even realise that they are doing it.
- Ask them if you can set up a time to discuss the issue further when you’ve both had time to cool off and think about the outcome you want to see.
- Use words like “we can do this” or “let’s find a solution together” rather than things like “you never do this” or “you always say that”.
- Try and put yourself in their place and consider what they’ve got to lose. This can help you work out why they may be feeling upset, which will give you a potential solution to the problem.
- Keep them focused on the issue by saying things like “let’s get back to the issue at hand” or “I can see that you’re upset but there’s no need to shout at me when I am trying to help you”.
Have you had experience in dealing with an aggressive person? How did you handle it? We would love to hear from you in the comments.
Related links:
How to tell if someone is trying to manipulate you
13 steps to recover from betrayal