The evolution of parenting styles. FYI: a lot has changed
Remember back in the day when you were a parent you would just play-it-by-ear and parent the way you saw fit? It seems that’s no longer the case today. There’s now hundreds of books on parenting, countless websites, mummy blogs and of course, plenty of other parents only too willing to tell you what to do. In fact, there’s so much parenting advice that many parents (first-time, in particular) often struggle to trust or believe in their own instincts and knowledge. On top of that parents are feeling the pressure to do all they can and more for their child, which has led to development of parenting styles so widespread that they’ve become labelled and categorised.
Helicopter parenting
The helicopter parent is one who is overly involved and overly focused on her child’s life. The term helicopter was used as it describes how parents “hover” over their child’s every moment and decision. They take too much responsibility for their kid’s experiences, especially their successes and failures. It’s why they might take control of tasks, regularly intervening to protect children from challenges or harm. Helicopter parents are considered over-controlling, over-protective, and an over-perfectionist when it comes to their child.
Lawnmower parenting
A close relative of helicopter parenting, lawnmower parents do even more for their kids and clear the path for them and provide a soft place to fall. Lawnmower parents pre-empt possible problems and “mow” down obstacles and smooth the way for their kids, eliminating any need to experience failures or hardships. The reasoning is that by removing obstacles and challenges children will be free to focus on success.
Free-range parenting
Almost as a backlash to the over-parenting of helicopter and lawnmower parents has emerged free-range parenting. Like the chickens who can roam free from their cages, free-range parenting is based on the notion that the potential harm for children is much less than parents perceive and that children should be allowed to roam unsupervised and outdoors like the freedoms of kids in the past.
However, would you let your nine-year-old son catch the New York subway on his own? It’s what Lenore Skenazy, the parent who coined the term "free-range parenting", does and she’s been dubbed by her critics as “America’s Worst Mum.” She says however that children need to learn responsibility and independence early, which comes from letting kids do some things on their own.
So what’s the best answer? When can children go out and play by themselves? It’s a difficult question because there’s no universal rulebook in raising children. Every child is different, and parenting styles should be tailored to match their needs. Every parent is different too so what works for one family doesn’t mean it will work for another. And ultimately that’s what everybody needs to remember: there’s no right parenting style. Just trust your instincts and do what’s best for your child.
Related links:
Are our children overprotected?
From parent to grandparent. Have you mastered the transition?
Remember the days of the old school yard?