The Granddad diaries: the maths police
Over60 community member Derek Le-Grand, 60, from Wangi Wangi, NSW reflects on his time as a grandfather and the amusing stories he's fooled his grandchildren with.
When I first heard that I was going to be a Grandfather my daughter asked what I wanted to be called. I told her that the kids could call me Mr Le-Grand!!! I was too young to be a Grandfather (only 47). Pop sounded like I was 80 and granddad sounded like old Mr Steptoe from the old TV series Steptoe & Son. In the end it was decided that I should be called Grandfather and that has stuck for all of my grandkids.
I enjoy every minute with my grandchildren as I know that in the not too distant future they will have their own lives and I will not be needed as much. I will hate the day when I put my hand out to hold their hand and they say, “I am too old for that Grandfather!!!”
One of my favourite memories is “The Maths Police”.
One day, my wife and I were driving with our three grandkids. During the journey, my oldest grandchild, Crystal (10 years old at the time), mentioned that she didn’t think that maths were important and she wasn’t going to concentrate on it too much.
I was shocked as she wants to be a vet so I explained that being a vet involved using a lot of maths. Just as I finished explaining this to her I turned around the corner and was asked to pull in for a roadside breath test. The policeman asked me to count to ten while he held a tester near my mouth. As I haven’t drunk any alcohol for over 10 years I was clear so he told me to continue my journey.
Well, all three kids had their mouth open and Crystal immediately asked what all the fuss was about. So I explained that he was the “Maths Police” checking to see if I could count to ten. I also told her that sometimes they ask you to do multiplication or division so this was an easy one. I could see her in the rear view mirror taking all of this in. I took this opportunity to stress the importance of maths and how much emphasis the government put on maths by employing people to check the population regularly.
Well, I had her for about a week until an episode of RBT came on TV while we were watching it together and she gave me the dirtiest look of all time.
Ah well, it was a good try.
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