How do you cope when you lose your life partner?
Anne Marr, 68, is a registered hairdresser, whose hobbies include writing, gardening, caring for wild life and learning. She’s also studied health, journalism and pain management.
When I lost my darling Colin it was like half of me had gone. Not only were we husband and wife, but we were work partners. For over 35 years we managed motels, restaurants and a caravan park. We lived and worked together for at least 10 of those years, seven days a week, without a day off. What I couldn’t do he could, and what he couldn’t do I could. We were the perfect pair. I was blessed.
When we retired both of us decided we wanted the quiet life, no neighbours and out of town on some land. Living in a motel and caravan park for the last 35 years was a bit like living in a goldfish bowl. We were on call 24 hours a day, so a quiet life was rather appealing. Just as we retired a devastating discovery was made. Colin had cancer. Our 17 acre block that we’d planned to build on was now out of the question. Instead we found a very old stone cottage on one acre. Quite liveable, but in need of work eventually. For the time being we would need all our money for the battle ahead.
First came battling the cancer and we won. Then Colin set about renovating out stone cottage. In the middle of this my mother moved in as dad couldn’t manage anymore. Mum didn’t want to go into a nursing home, so she moved in with us. Colin continued working on our cottage. I helped where I could and took care of Mum. Well much, much more happened over the next seven years and that will eventually become a book I started when I still had Colin with me.
Sixteen years after we beat the cancer, it returned. This time a bigger battle and we used all our super fighting it. We did gain more time, not enough, but three and a half years was better than the original six months he was given. I nursed him at home and he passed away at home. I did promise him I would be alright and would work on the bucket list. One of the things on the list was; he wanted me to get something published. I’d written for years, poems, stories, but never had anything published. I tried to finish the book I’d started with him, doing the proof reading, but haven’t managed that yet. Still miss him too much, I think. So instead I’d start a new book I thought. I went back in time to the 60s when I’d moved from the country to the city and met an amazing cat I called Sylvester.
So Colin, I’ve finished my first book and it’s nearly ready for publishing. Just proof reading and cover design to go now. It’s called “The cat that wasn’t” and it’s about my journey in the 60s and 70s when not only did I meet an amazing cat, but also when Colin came into my life. My life changed in so many ways for the better, and throughout it Sylvester became my best friend, confidant, adviser, protector and even a fill-in mother when the need arose. Sylvester moved so easily through life no matter what he was confronted with and somehow made it easier for me.
Colin would often say, “When there’s an end, there’s always a new beginning”.
So I’m trying luv.
If you have a story to share please get in touch at melody@oversixty.com.au.
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