How to tell if someone is trustworthy
Trust is a key ingredient of success in any relationship whether it is platonic, romantic or business. But how do you know if you can trust somebody or if you should run for the hills? What exactly is the difference between someone who is trustworthy and someone who isn’t? Sometimes it’s very obvious, sometimes it isn’t. Some people have a natural instinct for detecting untrustworthy characters while some of us might need a bit of help to develop the skill. Assessing trustworthiness takes time and there are always individual circumstances to consider but here are a few things to look out for.
Honest
A trustworthy person is an honest person. Someone who is constantly lying is probably hiding something. Always consider intentions and there are sometimes benign reasons why somebody might tell a white lie, but if someone is continually being dishonest, warning bells should be going off! Sometimes it’s difficult to determine if someone is lying though. Here are some things to consider:
- The person repeats your question or doesn’t answer the questions. For example, “That’s a good question.” This may be a signal to buy time to form a response.
- The person is always reminding you how honest and trustworthy they are. For example, “I would never lie, I’m an honest person.”
- The person makes very showy and boastful claims but none of it can be verified or validated. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Reliable
Being reliable and dependable is the hallmark of a trustworthy person. Of course, people do let us down from time to time but a consistently unreliable person is usually untrustworthy.
- The person constantly does not do what they say they will even if explicitly promised. There is always a reason though such as an unpredictable drama.
- The person is always late for appointments, meetings or dates with you.
- The person is never available to see or meet you.
- The person’s words and actions contradict. Untrustworthy people will make a lot of claims but when actions consistently don’t follow words, red flags should be appearing.
Communication
A trustworthy person will be open, transparent and attentive in their communication whereas those who might have something to hide are heavily focused on themselves.
- The person constantly talks themselves up with boastful statements and criticises or tears other people down. If the person is gossiping about someone else, what’s to stop them doing the same to you?
- The person does not support or encourage you. Instead they play down or make a joke about your thoughts, ideas and accomplishments.
- The person is never forthcoming with information about themselves. You have to constantly ask questions but they try and redirect the conversation or reply with partial truths.
Intuition
Your gut-feeling is perhaps your most important tool and it’s usually correct. Don’t ignore feelings of anxiousness or wariness. We often want to think the best of people but if your gut is telling you something is up with this person, it might be right. Look out for the other indicators and if any of them are sounding familiar, combined with your intuition, make an exit, fast!
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