“I can imagine the divorce papers”: Ben Fordham's marriage deal-breaker
Ben Fordham has revealed his marriage deal-breaker during a chat about tracking devices for 9Honey’s “He Se She Said” with Shelly Horton.
The radio giant, who hosts Ben Fordham Live on 2GB, shared that while he and his wife Jodie Speers track their children’s whereabouts via tracking apps on their smartwatches, they would never do that to each other.
"If I said to Jodie, 'Hey, I'm going to start tracking your whereabouts,' I can imagine the look that I'd get, first of all, from Jodie, then I can imagine the conversation that I'd be having with Jodie, and then I can imagine the divorce papers that would be filed by Jodie," Fordham joked.
"I can imagine Jodie just getting a hammer and smashing her watch," Horton remarked.
Horton discussed how the desire to track speaks of a "lack of trust," and at the worst of times, it could suggest “coercive control” seen in domestic violence relationships.
Fordham agreed, adding he and his wife of over a decade have no desire to track each other.
"We've got it for the kids. But I don't know where Jodie, is and she doesn't know where I am, apart from our diaries, because we've got a diary where we kind of let each other know where we're going to be and what we're doing," he said.
In terms of the idea of “coercive control” Fordham said, "And you might have people who feel like, 'Alright, if I've got nothing to hide, OK, I'll agree to this arrangement,” adding that this arrangement can be exploited.
Horton then spoke about refuges and “safe” spaces that have been implemented in shopping centres to help people, primarily women, who are being tracked so closely by their partners that they are unable to seek assistance.
"They can go to a shopping centre and get counselling there, and actually talk to people about how to exit the relationship, and the partner just sees them at the shopping centre," she said.
Fordham highlighted that once couples have agreed to track each other’s whereabouts, stopping it “becomes a problem” so it is best to avoid it from the start.
"Because the moment you say to the other person , 'Hey, look, I don't like this thing anymore, I don't want to be tracked anymore, then they'll be thinking, 'Oooh, what have you got to hide?”
Fordham also suggested setting up boundaries at the beginning of a relationship.
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