My teenage pen pal became my lifelong friend
Anne Adams, 68, shares the beautiful story of how her teenage pen pal, Monika, from Germany, became a dear, life-long friend.
Back in 1960 when I was 14 and living in England, my parents had a friend, Otto, who was a German schoolteacher in Kassel. In one of Otto’s classes, a little girl named Claudia had a sister, called Monika, who was keen to write to an English girl. And so Monika and I began writing.
We first met in 1962 when Monika (nickname Monni) and her father, Heinz, came to stay with my family for a holiday. When Monika and I first met, we hit it off straight away and from there, our whole family became friends and holidays were spent together. Monika's sister, Claudia also became a wonderful friend and we too are very close today. Their parents became lifelong friends of my parents, visiting each other whenever they could. Monika’s father, Heinz, always called my mum his “Darling Second”.
Throughout our teenage years in the 60s, Monika and I both enjoyed the same music and loved dancing. One year, her mother, an excellent dressmaker, made us identical pink broderie anglaise dresses to go to a dance. German was my favourite subject at school, and Monika loved English so our friendship helped us no end.
As the years went by, we both married, still keeping in touch, and of course our husbands became friends, too. Sadly my first husband, a policeman, was killed on duty in 1977, when my youngest was only three. The friendship continued and I remarried. My new husband, Robert, was in the British army and we spent time in Germany with British Army of the Rhine (BAOR). I remember one special snowy Christmas we all went to the Christmas markets together in Kassel and warmed ourselves with Glühwein.
In 1982, after Robert had left the army, we came to live in Western Australia. My parents followed us and lived here happily until they passed away, both in their 90s. Even after I moved here to Australia, Monika and her husband Hannes, and Claudia and her husband Lothar, would travel the long distance to visit us. They always called my parents "Mummy and Daddy", looking on them as their second parents. They really loved them.
Two years ago, in 2014, we spent time together in Germany, Rome and Mauritius. It was extra special as we were able to be together with Monika, Claudia and their husbands, children, and Monika’s little grandson, Niklas, in Kassel. Meeting each other’s children and grandchildren for the first time is always so special, and it’s like having an extended family. Monika and Hannes and Robert and I then spent time in Rome and Mauritius together before we parted for our respective homes. There are always tearful goodbyes.
I must admit I no longer have any letters, which makes me sad, but in my life I have moved house so many times – 23 times in fact since 1965! So you can understand how things have gone astray! Monika and I now keep in touch via phone, WhatsApp, Messenger, Skype and Facebook. This helps us feel much closer together even though we’re separated by so many miles. On Skype we can really have a good chat – Monika's English is excellent, and I speak fairly good 'everyday' German.
It’s now been more than five decades of friendship and despite the long distance, we have managed to maintain a loving and caring relationship for so long, enjoying our precious times together to the full. Of course, it wasn't easy when we had our own families to find the money or the time to travel to see each other, but we managed because our friendship is very important to us both, feeling more like sisters than friends.
This September we are flying to Germany to surprise Monika for her 70th birthday. Her husband knows we'll be there but is keeping it a secret.
I am so lucky to have two beautiful friends like Monika and Claudia and, despite the tyranny of distance, our friendship has flourished for the last 55 years.
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Related links:
3 steps to make friends after 60
Female friendships the key to making life-changing decisions
5 tips to maintain a long-distance friendship