Relationships
6 surprising relationship tips from divorce lawyers
It may seem a strange idea, taking marriage advice from someone who specialises in divorce but there is merit in the idea. Divorce lawyers have seen the ways a marriage can disintegrate, often at very close range and as such, can pinpoint exactly where things started to unravel. It’s this insight that helps them to advise how to avoid the pitfalls for a long term, happy marriage.
- Understand that marriage is a work in progress – While having the “perfect” marriage may seem like an admirable goal, it’s not a realistic one. Marriage is constantly evolving and will experience the ebbs and flows inherent with life. Committing to working on your marriage and keeping it a priority is key.
- Go to therapy, at least once – Think about marriage counselling as a gym session for your relationship. It’s all about strengthening what’s already there, working on skills like communications and problem solving and opening a space to openly and honestly discuss your relationship without the exterior chatter that often accompanies relationship chat.
- Set boundaries – Whether its friends or family, having boundaries in place prevents problems from occurring down the track. Your family unit should always come first, no matter how hard that can sometimes be to achieve.
- Stop saying “always” and “never” – Speaking in definitive terms like “always” and “never” often create the most arguments. By taking these loaded terms out of action, you lower the risk of discussions morphing into heated arguments.
- Pretend your spouse is included in your texts – Before sending a text or an email, think about how your spouse would feel if they could see/hear your message. Venting frustration and anger with a friend or family member can be immediately soothing but in the long term it can just fuel the fire of frustration and anger.
- Commit to time out together as a twosome – We all have commitments to juggle but taking time out together offers a much needed opportunity to reconnect and release stress. Getting away from “everyday life” helps you to switch off and fully focus on each other’s company, something that can sometimes be a rare occurrence with today’s busy and often stressful lifestyles.
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