My first ever solo trip since my husband passed away
Now approaching my 73rd birthday, I have been widowed for almost eight years after 42 years of marriage. We married in 1966, had two beautiful daughters after losing our first born boy at birth. We saved and worked hard and owned homes that grew a little better as we progressed. I was a stay-at-home mum until my girls were of older school age and went back to part-time work when they were at high school. Then when my husband retired, we bought a business and learned to operate and enjoy it together.
The swift onslaught of motor neuron disease took him from me within four months of diagnosis in 2008 and left us all with such an emptiness I still can’t quite comprehend that I have actually come through and out the other side. It has been difficult to come to grips with being on my own – I still have moments when I wonder why I’m still here. And then there are moments when I want to turn around and ask him a question or hear his words of support, I miss him terribly, still. My daughters have been supportive as much as their busy lives allow – there are four grandchildren that keep my elder daughter busy in Queensland.
My husband and I had done a major trip just before he passed away – and I have caught the travel bug. I have done a few trips since being on my own, including a couple of road trips. I love to drive – windows down, iPod up and pedal to the metal. I’m happy then. My daughter and I did a Canada trip together before my husband passed, when she worked there for two years. We also went to Tasmania for a short-stay shortly after he passed away. Our major round-the-world trip happened at the completion of her time in Canada when she spent some time in South America to learn the language, and we met up with her to travel there and tour the country, visiting Iguassu Falls and Machu Picchu, followed by a few days in London before moving on to Cairo to do the Nile Cruise and Valley of the Kings in Egypt.
In 2009 my younger daughter and I did a one month tour of Italy together that I found really wonderfully beautiful and intoxicating. I then did a seven week European holiday with my good friend that included the Danube cruise where we tacked on before and after places, beginning in Istanbul and after the cruise going through France and into Spain. We also did a South Pacific Cruise. Recently I went on my own on a coach trip around both islands of New Zealand. And just last year I fulfilled a life-time dream to do Route 66 in a Mustang from Chicago to Las Vegas – plus extras – New York, Washington, Yellowstone, Yosemite, San Francisco and Los Angeles – five weeks all up. There are many beautiful places in this world and a lot more to see.
Now I am preparing to leave in early August (this weekend actually!) for three months overseas – by myself. I am currently homeless having sold my house and thought this would be a good time to go. Starting with a month in England I’m going to attempt to see as many of the Stately Homes as I can, as well as to see places of interest to me, including going to Edinburgh where I believe that one of my late husband’s relatives once owned a business in Princes Street. However, disappointingly there is no-one left to ask for particulars. But, like my trip to Gallipoli when on my Europe trip, I am the only one in our family to have been to these places.
After England I will be travelling to Italy, where I have enrolled in a language course in Lucca, Tuscany and intend to spend the rest of the month of September touring around the area. From there through Florence I will travel to Milan including Lake Maggiore and then into Venice for the month of October. After my earlier tour I vowed to go back to Venice and to walk it by myself for a couple of weeks – beautiful, historical city, full of life and light and so much beauty. Then into Rome for my final few days before flying home. When in Rome back in 2009 we threw our coins into the Trevi Fountain which is a tradition, and indicates that one will return. Well, it worked – I’m going back.
I don’t know what lies ahead, or how I will cope on my own, but it’s an adventure that I am looking forward to undertaking. There is some trepidation, of course, but with enough preparation before I go, hopefully there will not be too many problems to overcome. I intend to write a sort of ‘travel blog’ with words and pictures of some of the places I will visit that will go on Facebook for my friends.
Yes, it’s tough being on your own. But we must continue to live. Our loved ones would want us to do so. They would not want us to wallow in grief or to sit in a corner waiting for the darkness to pass. Remember the happy times. Treasure your memories but don’t forget that your friends and family want to help you through your grief.
This comes from a posting on Facebook that I read and really love: “Grief never ends… but it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith… It is the price of love.”
Go forward with the strength of your love and confidence in your abilities.
My mantra is “Live. Love. Laugh and Keep Smiling.” And I intend to live by my mantra on my first ever solo travel adventure.
If you have a story to share please get in touch at melody@oversixty.com.au.
Related links:
Revealed: why you should always dress nicely for a flight
The best way to see Switzerland
The many reasons why you should travel alone