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The biggest faux pas for self-funded retirees

Whether you have been retired for some time or are still looking forward to the time you can step back, chances are there are important considerations you may have overlooked. From planning and pensions to family and housing, these are the biggest self-funded retirement mistakes I come across, and some insights into how to avoid repeating them: <ol> <li>Lack of a plan</li> </ol> Not having a retirement plan is perhaps the most basic faux pas, but often the most costly. A detailed plan should cover things like: <ul> <li>When you AND your partner will retire </li> <li>Where you will live (you may want to downsize, relocate, seek assisted living)</li> <li>Anticipated living costs (living situation, health, lifestyle)</li> <li>How you will spend your time (hobbies, travel, volunteering, time with family)</li> <li>Strategies to maximise investments and superannuation</li> <li>Tax minimisation strategies</li> </ul> Remember: failing to plan = planning to fail. <ol start="2"> <li>Poor planning</li> </ol> Having a plan is the starting point, but it won’t get you far if it’s incomplete, not updated as circumstances change, or omits critical factors. For couples, not considering age differences is a big mistake. One partner retiring before the other can have big shifts on financial and tax dynamics and even the relationship itself. Then there is end-of-life care, particularly if the younger partner is still working. Not building in a safety buffer is another no-no. Too many retirees have been caught out by the high inflation of recent years, having calculated their anticipated income needs on much lower living costs. Balance short-term and long-term goals: being overly conservative early on can limit your financial situation down the track. And no plan is complete without contingencies for worst case scenarios – insurances, protections, back-up options. <ol start="3"> <li>Insecure housing </li> </ol> Government data has long shown major differences in quality of life for retirees who own their home versus those who don’t. Homelessness or insecure housing, the mercy of the rental market, and inability to customise your home as you age or if you need specialised support with disability or health issues are some of the challenges renters face. Furthermore, public estimates of how much the average Australian needs to retire typically assume home ownership – meaning rent is not part of that calculation. That’s a huge living cost you may not have factored into your retirement planning. <ol start="4"> <li>Unclaimed pensions</li> </ol> Contrary to popular belief, self-funded retirement and claiming a pension are not mutually exclusive. You may be eligible for a part-pension, calculated pro-rata according to the value of your assets and other income. Claiming a part-pension, no matter how small it may be, reduces how much income you need to draw down from super – making it last longer. Don’t fall into another common trap when applying – overestimating your assets. It’s easy to assume your non-monetary assets are worth more than what they really are, reducing how much pension you receive or negating your eligibility altogether. <ol start="5"> <li>Depleted Bank of Mum and Dad</li> </ol> With home ownership increasingly out of reach for younger adults, the Bank of Mum and Dad is often sought to bridge the gap. How you do so will impact your own situation. Giving more than you can afford can leave you overstretched. Missed loan repayments could see you fall behind on your own bills. Not putting agreements in writing can lead to disputes down the track. Having a loan guarantee called in could see you homeless. Be wise about decisions you make here and don’t let heartstrings cloud your judgement. <ol start="6"> <li>Suffering in silence</li> </ol> Elder abuse is a sad but significant problem. Given they have money in the bank, self-funded retirees are often the most vulnerable. Its effects can be far-reaching, impacting your mental and physical health, financial wellbeing, social interactions, and quality of life. Be aware of <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/retirement-income/are-you-a-victim-of-elder-abuse-without-even-realising-it">the signs that something isn’t right</a>. If you recognise it happening to you – or someone you know – speak up and seek help. <ol start="7"> <li>Forgoing professional advice</li> </ol> How much of the above details did you already know? Chances are, not all of them. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Money is a complicated business and you simply don’t know what you don’t know, which is why seeking independent, tailored advice from a professional is so important. A good financial advisor can help you identify new opportunities and manage risks you may not have considered, limit expenses and also work with your accountant to minimise your tax. Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of On Your Own Two Feet: The Essential Guide to Financial Independence for all Women. Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at <a href="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au/">www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au</a> Disclaimer: The information in this article is of a general nature only and does not constitute personal financial or product advice. Any opinions or views expressed are those of the authors and do not represent those of people, institutions or organisations the owner may be associated with in a professional or personal capacity unless explicitly stated. Helen Baker is an authorised representative of BPW Partners Pty Ltd AFSL 548754. Image credits: Shutterstock

Retirement Income

Aussie mum with no licence or car fined thousands for traffic offences

An Aussie mum has copped thousands of dollars worth of traffic fines, despite not owning a car or holding a valid driver's licence. Victorian woman Tamara, 32, claims that she has received 16 different infringement notices this year alone in relation to 14 different licence plate numbers, and none of them are hers. The incorrect fines have been sent to her from as far back as 2022. Several of the alleged offences captured on road safety cameras show bearded men behind the wheel. "Clearly, I don't have a beard. The person in the picture is a male. Anyone with eyes can see it's not me," she told A Current Affair. The saga has badly impacted her mental health and she has called on both the police and road officials in the state to overhaul the system to prevent other people from ending up in the same situation as her. The mum fears that her identity or her expired licence number may have been compromised during Optus' mass data breach two years ago. "I am not the driver. I don't drive a vehicle, I don't even have a licence. I have no idea what to think actually because it is unexplainable." "It doesn't make any sense and it shouldn't make any sense in anyone's eyes. It doesn't add up and it's clearly fraudulent." Lawyer Justin Lawrence agrees with the 32-year-old and said that she is entitled to challenge the fines. "There is a system glitch there somewhere and she's entitled to challenge those fines. The system relies on the information that it has. If the information is inaccurate, then the system can't work," he said. Tamara has made a formal complaint to Victoria Police in a bid to clear her name, and they are now working with Fines Victoria to "investigate the circumstances around these incidents and resolve these matters". "Members of the public who believe they have been falsely nominated for a traffic infringement should contact Fines Victoria," a statement from the police read. Images: A Current Affair/ Nine

Legal

Simon Baker charged with drink driving offences

The Mentalist star Simon Baker has been charged with two drink driving related offences. The 55-year-old is set to appear in Mullumbimby Local court next month in northern NSW, and he was charged with “attempt to drive while under influence of alcohol – first offence” and “drive vehicle under influence of alcohol – first offence”. He was granted bail with no conditions. The Hollywood actor has been nominated for a TV Week Logie Award on Sunday night for his leading role in the Netflix adaptation of Australian author Trent Dalton's Boy Swallows Universe. The hit Netflix series has been nominated for 11 awards - the most of any other actor or show. The actor earned a star on the Hollywood Walk of Famefor his portrayal of Patrick Jane in The Mentalist between 2008 and 2015. He has also won multiple AACTA awards and been nominated for Emmy and Golden Globe awards. Baker's career began in Aussie soaps like E Street, A Country Practice and Home and Away. He has also featured in movies including LA Confidential, The Devil Wears Prada, and earlier in his career featured in the original Heartbreak High. The actor split with his wife Rebecca Rigg in 2021 following 23 years of marriage, and the pair have three children and own a property together in Nashua, near Byron Bay. Images: Jean Cummings/THA/ Shutterstock editorial

Legal

Man fined $7000 for driving offences he did not commit

A New South Wales man has copped $7000 in fines and lost his licence, after he was fraudulently nominated for 14 driving offences by a woman in Victoria. Speaking to 2GB, Ross claimed he was falsely nominated through cars registered to two companies in Victoria, and shared an image of the woman behind the wheel. "I haven't been to Victoria in the last five years and I haven't driven a car in Victoria in the last five years," he told host Ben Fordham. "It's not me." Fordham then questioned whether he had "flowing long hair" as seen on the driver, to which he replied: "I don't, unfortunately. It's short hair." Ross, whose licence has been suspended, has been trying to clear the offences from his name. He has spoken to several government departments in both states including Service NSW and Vic Roads, submitted statutory declaration, police report, request of an extension and a nomination statement, to no avail. "I've tried to highlight that I'm a male and she is a female but it's still ongoing," Ross said. "It's a very convoluted process. "When someone assumes your identity in a fraudulent manner, it's no easy feat kind of getting it back." Fordham, who said the situation was "unbelievable", promised to step in and solve the matter for Ross within 24 hours, saying that they'll discuss this again tomorrow. Image: Nine

Legal

Just 15 centimetres of water can float a car – but we are failing to educate drivers about the dangers of floodwaters

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/amy-peden-1136424">Amy Peden</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kyra-hamilton-331594">Kyra Hamilton</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a> Every year in Australia, people driving into floodwaters drown and many more are <a href="https://www.ses.nsw.gov.au/disaster-tabs-header/flood/">rescued</a>. Do you know what to do when there’s water on the road? We searched all state and territory learner and driver handbooks for information about floodwaters, including signage. Our findings, published in the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022437524000860?via%3Dihub">Journal of Safety Research</a>, are disturbing. Across half of Australia’s states and territories, the driver handbook ignores flooding. That’s a missed opportunity, considering the handbook contains road rules and provides advice on how to navigate safely. While some states fail to provide any flood-related information, others give detailed practical guidance. Only the New South Wales handbook includes explanation of the meaning and purpose of flood signage. This is despite almost all states and territories experiencing vehicle-related flood <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/jfr3.12616">deaths</a>, including <a href="https://currents.plos.org/disasters/article/causal-pathways-of-flood-related-river-drowning-deaths-in-australia/">drowning</a>, between 2001 and 2017. It’s a major problem that is only going to get worse as the climate changes. So our research shows driver education needs to come up to speed, fast. <h2>Why do people drive into floodwaters?</h2> Our previous <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212420918301869">research</a> revealed motorists can feel compelled to drive into floodwaters for a range of reasons. These include time pressures such as being late for work or school, or needing to get home to family or pets. Sometimes they feel pressured by their passengers, or motorists behind them on the road, urging them to cross. People also report having been encouraged or instructed as learners to drive into floodwaters. Past experience as a passenger also influences a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1369847823000475">learner driver’s</a> future willingness to drive into floodwaters. So the views of significant others, such as their supervising driver, strongly influence decisions around driving into floodwaters. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZtlXpDBjU1Q?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>Avoid driving into floodwaters, for life’s sake.</figcaption></figure> <h2>What we did and what we found</h2> We assessed all publicly available, government-issued learner and driver handbooks (12 documents) across all six Australian states and two territories. We also looked for flood-related signage. We used a method for reviewing online material through a systematic search including in-document key words and imagery. Four jurisdictions provided no information on flooding in the handbook. In the ACT, South Australia, Tasmania and Victoria, drivers need to look elsewhere for information on floodwaters and driving safety. Only one jurisdiction provided information on flood signage such as depth markers and “road subject to flooding”. Hats off to the <a href="https://www.nsw.gov.au/sites/default/files/2022-11/Road-User-Handbook-English.pdf">NSW Road User Handbook</a>, which warns: <blockquote> Floodwater is extremely dangerous. Find another way or wait until the road is clear. It’s safer to turn around than to drive in floodwater. </blockquote> For the states and territories that did provide information on floodwaters in the handbook, the content varied. NSW, Queensland and the Northern Territory warned against entering floodwaters in a vehicle. They highlighted the dangers and financial penalties associated with driving on closed roads. In the NT and Western Australia, handbooks provided practical information on when and how to cross floodwaters safely, such as how to gauge safe water depth based on vehicle size, and to avoid fast-flowing water. Although well-intentioned, judgements around what constitutes fast-flowing water are subjective and hard for any driver to assess, let alone learner drivers. Even drivers of larger vehicles such as four-wheel drives are regularly involved in flood-related <a href="https://currents.plos.org/disasters/article/causal-pathways-of-flood-related-river-drowning-deaths-in-australia/">vehicle drowning fatalities</a>. Just <a href="https://www.ses.vic.gov.au/news-and-media/campaigns/15-to-float">45cm</a> of water can float a large 4WD, and considerably less for smaller vehicles. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/t4ilUbMXZAQ?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>A small car can float in just 15cm of water.</figcaption></figure> Handbooks represent valuable sources of safety information, particularly for new drivers who must learn important road rules to progress from one licence to another. Such graduated driver licensing schemes reduce road traffic injury, particularly among <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022437523000385">young people</a>. However, many of these handbooks fail to provide consistent, practical evidence-based information about flooding. There is an opportunity here to support safer driving behaviours. <h2>Safety tips for all drivers</h2> We encourage drivers to follow these safety tips: <ul> <li>avoid driving into floodwaters</li> <li>identify alternative routes, so you have a <a href="https://theconversation.com/when-roads-become-rivers-forming-a-plan-b-can-stop-people-driving-into-floodwaters-183036">plan B</a></li> <li>familiarise yourself, and any learner drivers in the household or under your care, with the meaning and purpose of flood signage</li> <li>understand the legal consequences of crossing a road closed sign</li> <li>discuss the dangers of driving into floodwaters with learner drivers and help them formulate their own plan B</li> <li>model safe driving for all passengers, including children.</li> </ul> <h2>Time to lift our game</h2> Driving into floodwaters remains the main cause of <a href="https://currents.plos.org/disasters/article/causal-pathways-of-flood-related-river-drowning-deaths-in-australia/">flood-related drowning</a> in Australia. For our emergency service personnel, driver behaviour, including people ignoring road closed signs, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/hpja.181">significantly complicates</a> the already dangerous act of performing a flood rescue. Extreme weather and flooding are likely to become more frequent and intense in the future. That means the chance of being faced with a flooded road is growing. So information about driving during floods is vital for all, from the newly licensed to the experienced driver. We hope our research will encourage all states and territories to include provide practical, evidence-based advice on floods in driver handbooks as soon as possible.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/233116/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/amy-peden-1136424">Amy Peden</a>, NHMRC Research Fellow, School of Population Health & co-founder UNSW Beach Safety Research Group, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kyra-hamilton-331594">Kyra Hamilton</a>, Associate Professor in Applied Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/just-15-centimetres-of-water-can-float-a-car-but-we-are-failing-to-educate-drivers-about-the-dangers-of-floodwaters-233116">original article</a>. </div>

Travel Trouble

Roadside cameras set to target more infringements

Millions of Aussie drivers are being warned as authorities expand the number of infringements being targeted by roadside cameras. The technology, initially used to detect mobile phone use, will now target new road rules. "The laws were brought in and this technology was brought in as a preventative measure ... to stop people getting behind the wheel and taking risks that jeopardise the safety of others," NRMA head of media told Yahoo News. "The road toll is terrible nationally in Australia ... So we need to do everything we can to reduce risks on our roads." In NSW authorities are expanding the capabilities of their roadside mobile-detection cameras. From July 1 the cameras will be able to catch drivers wearing their seatbelt incorrectly. This comes after Queensland reportedly became the first jurisdiction in the world to roll out seatbelt-spotting detection along with mobile-detection. Last year, Victoria also rolled out dual mobile phone and seatbelt detection cameras last year after a two year trial. No grace period will be granted when they issue the seatbelt fines. "The expansion of mobile phone detection cameras to also apply to seatbelt offences reinforces the NSW Government’s commitment to enforcing the 50-year-old seatbelt law, actively contributing to improving road safety and reducing fatalities on NSW roads," a statement read on their official website. The department told Yahoo that all images captured by roadside cameras are automatically reviewed by software. Those that do not contain evidence of an offence will have their images deleted within an hour. Drivers in the ACT will need to make sure they have proper insurance and registration. From August, the roadside cameras alongside speed cameras and red light cameras will be used to send hefty fines to those driving without proper registration or insurance. Those caught by the cameras will have their paperwork manually checked by transport staff. An infringement for driving an unregistered vehicle in the ACT is $700 while the fine for driving an uninsured car is $973. The mobile detection cameras could also soon be programmed to detect speeding in the ACT. In South Australia, authorities began testing overhead mobile detection cameras at four busy locations in April, fines are currently not being issued, but the grace period is due to finish on June 19. Drivers caught using their phones in Adelaide will be fined $540 and three demerit points. Image: Stepan Skorobogadko / Shutterstock.com

Travel Trouble

What the fox! Driver finds wild animal trapped in his car

A motorist has shared the startling moment a fox got trapped in the front grill of his car, after he accidentally hit the wild animal while travelling at 80km/h. While driving down a country road in South Australia on Saturday night, the man behind the wheel said he was shocked when he felt something slam into the car. When he later checked the vehicle, he was astonished to find the angry fox trying to break free from behind the front grill of the car. “Y’all thought you had a bad day,” he can be heard saying while filming the animal furiously biting the front grill in an attempt to escape. In a series of videos posted to TikTok, the man documented the fox's attempts at escape, before informing his followers that he had enlisted the help of a local vet to help free the animal. “Took him to the vet, they sedated him and we got him out safely, the poor guy,” he said, adding he was glad — and impressed — the fox was alive after such a high-speed impact. Throughout his videos, many took to the comments to offer their advice to free the fox, as one person suggested "popping the lid", with the driver explaining that he did but “couldn’t even see him through the bonnet”. The saga has been viewed more than 400,000 times in the past 24 hours, with numerous people saying they were stunned the fox wasn’t seriously injured. “How does this even happen?” one person wondered. “What in the fox is going on here!” another joked, while others pondered how the man would explain the incident to his insurance company. “Insurance would never believe you if you didn’t have that video,” someone else added. Image credits: TikTok

Travel Trouble

Wild moment giraffe snatches toddler from car

A father has recalled the heart-stopping moment his toddler was snatched by a giraffe at a safari park in Texas. Jason Toten, 24, his fiancé Sierra Robert, 23, and their daughter Paisley were at Fossil Rim Wildlife Centre in Glen Rose where visitors can drive-through the park and get close to wild animals. "We were having a little family day, just getting out of the house," Jason told a local news outlet. While the family were admiring the view, one giraffe slowly approached them and the pair encouraged their daughter to offer it some food, but within an instant, the two-year-old girl was lifted into the air. "I looked out the back window and I saw the giraffe … and then up she went," Jason recalled. The giraffe, who was only trying to grab the bag of food from Paisley, accidentally hoisted the toddler up by her shirt, with other park visitors behind them capturing the wild moment. Sierra reacted immediately and clung to her child, as she was pulled into the air, and all it took for the giraffe to let go was a stern "hey". The giraffe then dropped the tot back into the car uninjured, and throughout the entire ordeal Paisley was the bravest of them all. "I guess it startled the giraffe. She wasn't even scared," Jason recalled. "As soon as her mom caught her, she went 'oh.'" "It scared me but after it was all over, we realised everyone was safe and unharmed, and we laughed about it," Jason added. After the incident, the family took Paisley to the gift shop and "all she wanted was a giraffe toy and a giraffe T-shirt." "We ended up getting her both, we figured she deserved it." Images: Facebook

Travel Trouble

Teen slapped with massive fine over "unsafe manoeuvre"

A Sydney P-plater has copped a massive fine of $3,568 after he overtook another car unsafely on Campbell Hill Rd at Guildford, west of the CBD, about 8.45pm last Friday. The 18-year-old was fined for crossing a double white line, travelling more than 45kph over the speed limit, and “overtaking when unsafe”, police said. The road itself had a speed limit of 50 kph but the boy was travelling at 115 kph, according to police. Police have suspended the teen's provisional licence for six months and confiscated his plates for three months, but many were unhappy with the penalty. “The court should impose 12-month suspensions. We probably all did some dumb things when on P-plates and after obtaining a full licence, but this is bordering on criminal,” one person wrote online. “Until consequences are increased, these people will not decrease unsafe behaviour,” another wrote. The road where the teen was caught speeding has been known for various other incidences of speeding and dangerous driving. “Cumberland Highway Patrol officers will continue to actively target Campbell Hill Rd for speeding and dangerous driving offences given a recent spate of high-speed detections on this section of road,” police said. Images: 7News

Legal

Little-known road rule that could cost you hundreds

An urgent warning has been issued for Aussie motorists over a little-known road rule that could cost you a $704 fine. While many are aware of the hefty fine that comes with driving an unregistered vehicle, not a lot of people know that in New South Wales it is illegal to park an unregistered car on a road or a road related area for more than 15 days after the vehicle's registration has expired. If you get caught, you could be fined $704 and up to 20 penalty units. Penalties vary between jurisdictions, but motorists can be fined almost as heavily as driving an unregistered car. Another little-known road rule that could land you in big trouble is waving out a car window. According to Budget Direct, both the passenger and driver could face a fine of $337 and a loss of three demerit points if they are caught doing the simple act. "Even winding down the window and stretching your arm outside to cool down could also get you in trouble," Budget Direct said. "According to all state and territories' driving regulations, it is illegal for any part of your body to be outside a moving vehicle at any time." Image: Shutterstock

Legal

Quiet beach town offering $450k job with free house and car

A picturesque beach town in Western Australia has found a creative way to bring jobs to the area: by offering a range of enticing bonuses. The town of Bremer Bay, south-east of Perth, is desperate for healthcare providers to join the small town and have offered a range of persuasive perks to a doctor who would be willing to leave a big city for the job in the regional location. Bremer Bay is next to the Fitzgerald River National Park and nearly 40 minutes away from the closest town. Currently, they only have one temporary doctor; the next permanent GP is in Albany, almost 200 kilometres away, and the town is looking for the "Swiss army knife of doctors" to step up. According to the job listing on Seek, the successful applicant will be granted a rent-free five-bedroom house and a four-wheel drive, on top of a salary of up to $450,000 a year. "Live rent-free in a scenic location, experiencing the true essence of rural Australia," the advertisement reads. "We offer a competitive 70 per cent of Billings or a generous Salary, based on your preference. In addition, you'll enjoy the convenience of a beautiful new 5-bedroom home and 4X4." Applicants must be registered with the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency and be willing to train as a rural generalist. According to the <a title="Australian Institute of Health and Welfare" href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/rural-remote-australians/rural-and-remote-health" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Australian Institute of Health and Welfare</a>, people living in rural and remote areas have higher rates of hospitalisations, deaths and injury compared to city-dwellers, while also having poorer access to primary health care services. Image credits: Shutterstock

Money & Banking

'Boomer' cyclist allegedly caught keying cars

A baby boomer on a bicycle has allegedly been caught red-handed by CCTV footage, which reportedly shows the man keying a series of cars. Residents of the affluent Brisbane suburb of Woolloongabba have been terrorised by the anonymous car-keyer since September of last year. Mick Brown, who lives in the area, checked local CCTV cameras after his car had been keyed on September 29th, to try to identify the culprit. The footage showed what Mr Brown described as a “regular, well-dressed elderly man” cycling down Hubert Street. The man then turned around and cycled past 30 seconds later with one arm extended toward the parked cars with something attached to a red lanyard in his hand. Mr Brown told the <a href="https://www.couriermail.com.au/subscribe/news/1/?sourceCode=CMWEB_WRE170_a_NEW&dest=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.couriermail.com.au%2Fnews%2Fqueensland%2Fwoolloongabba-resident-claims-cars-repeatedly-targeted-by-man-on-bike-with-keys-over-period-of-months%2Fnews-story%2Fd6ca80fcd103ff0eaae3bc02e33e8fb4&memtype=anonymous&mode=premium&v21=LOW-Segment-1-SCORE&nk=5bc945873ffec79da7263488711d2aab-1715304777" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Courier Mail</a>, “This act cost myself and the owner of the other two vehicles in excess of $10,000 in repairs.” “After repairs were completed on all three vehicles this same person has struck again on Saturday, December 30 (2023),” he said. After being struck by the cyclist three times and paying over $10,000 to fix the cars, Mr Brown said his car was targeted again on May 5th. "These attacks are happening in broad daylight,” he said. “While these appear to be targeted attacks neither myself nor the other victim know or recognise this person." “It is becoming quite distressing and this individual needs to be stopped.” The cyclist has yet to be identified, and no charges have been laid. Image credits: Courier Mail

Legal

Motorist fined $387 for "handling wallet" while driving

A motorist has collapsed after receiving a fine for $387, in which the fine claims he was holding his phone while driving. Sydney man Husni Tarmizi opened the infringement notice with his 62-year-old dad on Tuesday and admitted he was both "surprised" and "panicked" by the fine, leaving Husni to pick his father up off the floor after he collapsed from shock. Husni was confused by the fine, which also cost his dad 10 demerit points, as his father is rarely on his phone, and decided to take a closer look at the image captured by the mobile detection camera. "I went to the computer and downloaded the image and I could see clearly that it's a wallet [in his hand], you can see his phone is in the cradle," he told <a href="https://au.news.yahoo.com/driver-fined-387-and-cops-10-demerit-points-for-handling-wallet-while-driving-073557336.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Yahoo News</a>. "In his left hand you can see the wallet and his right hand he's holding a $50 bill." Husni continued, "He was quite panicked, especially with the 10 demerit points... and I was scared a bit because he has a heart condition." The 62-year-old man said he recalls holding onto his wallet and the $50 note to pay for petrol over the Easter long weekend, which explains the hefty loss of demerit points. Tarmizi confirmed he has already appealed the infringement and is awaiting a response after people urged him to dispute it. "I've also written an appeal, it's called a review request, we'll see how that goes," he said. "For the older generation where they don't understand the technologies and stuff, it's scary." Image credits: Husni Tarmizi

Legal

Woman fined after paid car park gets set up around her parked vehicle

Josephine Williams had been leaving her car in a gravel clearing at Westgate in Auckland, alongside other commuters to catch the bus into the city for months. The New Zealand woman was left with a "nasty surprise" when she returned from work on Monday to find a NZ $85 ($77) fine sitting on her windshield. "To my unfortunate surprise - and many others - I was greeted by an $85 parking ticket for a breach and a flyer from Wilson Parking saying paid parking had started that day," Williams told Stuff. "But what breach exactly was made? How was I supposed to know paid parking started that day when there was nothing at all displayed anywhere in the car park?" Williams claimed that the Wilson Parking car park had been set up around her already parked car, even providing dash cam footage that showed her pulling into the gravel clearing at 7.45am, with no paid parking signs or Wilson branding in sight. By 6pm, a large red and white Wilson sign had been put up at the entrance, with "12 hours for $4" written on it. "Wilson deliberately put their sign up sometime after 9am and then took it upon themselves to fine every single car that was already parked there from the morning," Williams said. "$85 is a lot of money - it would have been two weeks' worth of grocery shopping for me," she added. "I'm lucky that I know the law and my rights, but some other people might not. What about students or the elderly or people who don't know English well?" She estimated that there was usually around 50 and 100 cars in the gravel clearing. Wilson argued that the carpark was always there and they had just added more signage, but have since waived Williams' fine after she lodged a request to have it reviewed by Parking Enforcement Services. Wilson Parking also said that they had started to set up the car park and installed a "clear signage" on April 22. "It was not set up around parked cars on 29 April as suggested," a Wilson spokesperson said. "Several payments were made by customers via the Parkmate app from 22 April proving that signage on the site was clear and effective," they said. They added that on April 29 more signs were added to all entry points of the car park. "In acknowledgment of the increased signage added on the 29th at the entry we've made the decision to refund all payments made until 30 April and waive any breach notices issued up to this date." They also denied issuing any breach notices before the signs were put up. "Payment options were available and signed from 22 April - but no infringement notices were issued prior to the 29th." Images: Stuff

Legal

Young boy killed in car crash just days after losing mum to cancer

A young boy killed in a car crash in rural Victoria has been identified as seven-year-old Harley Galea-Smith, who had just lost his mother to breast cancer prior to the accident. Harley was a passenger in the car when it crashed with a truck on Trafalgar-Willow Grove Rd in Trafalgar, just before 5:20 pm on Sunday. Despite paramedics best efforts, they couldn't save the young boy and the adult driver of the car, who both died at the scene. Two dogs in the vehicle also passed away, while the driver of the truck was taken to hospital with non-life-threatening injuries. Harley’s mother Amy Galea, 39, was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer earlier this year, and passed away just four weeks later. A friend has created a <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/amy-and-harley" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a> for "Amy and her beautiful boy Harley” to help cover their funeral costs. “This has devastated Amy’s family and left them helpless,” they said. Victoria Police are investigating the circumstances of the crash. Image: GoFundMe

Caring

AFP commander resigns after drink driving accident

Former Australian Federal Police commander Danielle Anne Woodward has resigned after she drunkenly crashed her car into a tree following a police function in Canberra. The Olympic medalist pleaded guilty to a drink driving charge in the ACT Magistrates Court after blowing nearly three times the legal limit in November 2023. Woodward had attended an end-of-year function on the night of the accident, and intended to walk home or catch an Uber, but felt unwell after drinking champagne, so she decided to take the short drive back home. However, she crashed into a tree on her way home causing “extensive front-end damage” to her Mercedes-Benz. After getting help from members of the public, she immediately reported the incident to her supervisor and told him she had alcohol in her system. She also reportedly co-operated with lower-ranking officials who attended the scene, with the defence saying that she was "frank in her submission". "She was certainly not belligerent," Woodward's lawyer Michael Kukulies-Smith told the court. She was then arrested and taken to the police station for a breath analysis, which came back with a reading of 0.148. A police statement of facts also said that officers found Woodward with a flushed face and sleepy, watery eyes. “Police could smell a strong odour of intoxicating liquor emanating from [Woodward] and formed the opinion that [she] was well under the influence,” the statement of facts read. The court also heard that Woodward had been experiencing a "high level" of stress from her job, so had "at times resorted to alcohol, in a way she has been able to control." "The offending conduct is not only out of character … [but] her actions are usually the complete opposite. They're usually designed to benefit and protect the community," prosecutor Samuel Carmichael said. Woodward's lawyer asked Chief Magistrate Lorraine Walker to record a non-conviction, as this was a "one off" offence, and the media coverage of the accident had already caused her "an unusual degree of reputational damage", which has impacted her mental health and career. While Magistrate Walker agreed to a non-conviction, she said that a general deterrence still needed to be served, with Woodward disqualified from driving for six months, taking into account a 90-day immediate suspension notice that was issued after the crash. The Chief Magistrate told the court: "What ultimately influences me … is Ms Woodward is a woman suffering from ill health. "It is often people of good standing in this community … who find themselves before the court for this type of offence." She also said that Woodward had shown “obvious and palpable” remorse, and was not someone who would ordinarily demonstrate “this level of stupidity”. Woodward was a highly decorated police officer who worked for the AFP for almost four decades. She became a commander in 2022 and received a Medal of the Order of Australia (OAM) in 2002. In 2020 she was awarded the Australian Police Medal in the Australia Day honours. Prior to her role in the AFP, she was a a triple Olympian in slalom canoeing and won a silver medal at the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. Image: ABC News

Legal

"Find that car": Mother of fallen young lawyer speaks out

Mitch East, a vibrant 28-year-old lawyer from New Zealand, lost his life on Sunday in an alleged hit-and-run accident that has sparked a desperate plea from his grieving mother and a heartfelt outcry from those who knew him. Debra East, now in Sydney to grapple with the unimaginable loss of her only child, stood on the roadside where Mitch's life was abruptly taken away. In an emotional <a href="https://7news.com.au/news/find-that-car-mother-of-lawyer-mitch-east-killed-in-sydney-hit-and-run-shares-desperate-plea-as-tributes-flow-c-14013341" target="_blank" rel="noopener">interview with 7NEWS</a>, she expressed her shattered state, saying, "I'm broken. He was my only child... I died too, on Sunday, with him." The pain of a mother losing her child in such a sudden and senseless manner is unfathomable, and her plea to find the perpetrator echoes through the community. Mitch's untimely demise occurred as he stepped out of an Uber onto Fletcher St, just metres away from his home, in the early hours of the morning. It is believed that he was <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/police-investigate-after-young-lawyer-killed-in-cowardly-act" target="_blank" rel="noopener">struck by a car</a>, leaving him with critical injuries that tragically proved fatal. Despite the efforts of emergency responders, Mitch passed away at the scene. The circumstances surrounding Mitch's death point to a hit-and-run incident, with CCTV footage capturing <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/police-investigate-after-young-lawyer-killed-in-cowardly-act" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a white Subaru</a> driving on the street shortly after the accident. Debra East, grappling with grief and disbelief, voiced her anguish, questioning how the driver could have failed to see her son and pleading for assistance in locating the vehicle. “I got up early hours of the morning today and stood on the side of the road to try to understand how they couldn’t have seen him as they were driving up," she said. “I just need you to help the police find that car. Not that it will bring him back to me.” NSW Police Inspector Josh Hogan condemned the act as cowardly, urging the driver to come forward and take responsibility for their actions. Anyone with information about the death is urged to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000. Images: GoFundMe | NSW Police

Family & Pets

Police seize suspect's car in Samantha Murphy investigation

Detectives looking into Samantha Murphy's alleged murder have seized a car as part of their investigation. Police have reportedly been watching accused killer Patrick Stephenson for two weeks prior to his <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/new-details-emerge-in-samantha-murphy-murder-charge" target="_blank" rel="noopener">arrest</a> on Wednesday, according to 7NEWS. They also reportedly seized Stephenson's 4WD as part of a probe into whether or not the Ballarat mum was hit by his car. Speaking to The Herald Sun, one neighbour recalled the moment police swarmed a Scotsburn home that Stephenson and his partner were reportedly house-sitting at on Wednesday morning. “There were all sorts of cars, they all looked like unmarked police,” the neighbour said. “It was about 6.30am when I went past… I put two and two together and I said to my wife: ‘I reckon something’s going on, I reckon they were police’. “And sure enough, later that day (the news of an arrest) was released.” Despite his arrest and murder charge, the 22-year-old, who is <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/everything-we-know-about-samantha-murphy-s-accused-killer" target="_blank" rel="noopener">the son of retired AFL player Orren Stephenson</a>, is not cooperating with police as they continue to search for Murphy's body. Murphy's family have shared a desperate plea as they continue to search for answers. “We are hoping he has a bit of a change of heart and that he will co-operate. That will help bring her home,” Murphy's husband, Mick, said on Friday. “We’d just like some more answers now.” Stephenson is due to face a committal mention on August 8. Images: 7News/ Facebook

Legal

Dreading footy season? You’re not alone – 20% of Australians are self-described sport haters

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hunter-fujak-290599">Hunter Fujak</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heath-mcdonald-92440">Heath McDonald</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a> With the winter AFL and NRL seasons about to start, Australia’s sporting calendar is once again transitioning from its quietest to busiest period. For many, the return of the AFL and NRL competitions is highly anticipated. But there is one group whose experience is very different: the approximately 20% of Australians who hate sport. We are currently conducting research to better understand why people feel this way about sport and what their experiences are like living in a nation where sport is so <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1329878x15616515">culturally central</a>. We have completed surveys with thousands of Australians and are now beginning to interview those who have described themselves as “sport haters”. <h2>Australia, a ‘sports mad’ nation</h2> Australia has long been described as a “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14660970902955588">sports mad nation</a>”, a reasonable assertion given the Melbourne Cup attracted crowds of <a href="https://catalogue.nla.gov.au/catalog/2178266">more than 100,000 people</a> as far back as the 1880s. Australia’s sport passion is perhaps most evident today from the number of professional teams we support for a nation of 26 million people, one of the highest per capita <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Heath-Mcdonald/publication/326140082_Are_Sport_Consumers_Unique_Consumer_Behavior_Within_Crowded_Sport_Markets/links/5e9465fd92851c2f529c4322/Are-Sport-Consumers-Unique-Consumer-Behavior-Within-Crowded-Sport-Markets.pdf">concentrations</a> in the world. In addition to our four distinct football codes – Australian rules football, rugby league, rugby union and soccer – we have professional netball, basketball, cricket and tennis. In all, there are more than <a href="https://www.clearinghouseforsport.gov.au/kb/structure-of-australian-sport">130 professional sport teams in Australia</a> today (across both genders). Australia also hosts – and Australians attend – major sport events at a rate wildly disproportionate to the size of our population and economy. <a href="https://www.blackbookmotorsport.com/news/f1-australian-grand-prix-record-crowd-melbourne-albert-park/">Formula One</a>, the <a href="https://ausopen.com/articles/news/record-breaking-australian-open-ao-2024-numbers">Australian Open</a>, the <a href="https://nbl.com.au/news/nbl-sets-new-season-attendance-record">National Basketball League</a>, the <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/sport/nrl/nrl-attendance-records-tumble-as-fans-flock-back-to-footy-20230902-p5e1ib.html">National Rugby League</a> and <a href="https://mumbrella.com.au/64-of-aussie-population-watched-matildas-new-deakin-research-claims-797902">Matildas</a> have all recently broken attendance or television viewership records. <h2>Why people hate sport</h2> The ubiquity of sport in our culture, however, conceals the fact that a significant portion of people strongly and actively dislike sport. Recent <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/14413523.2023.2233342">research</a> by one of the co-authors here (Heath McDonald) has begun to shine light on this cohort, dubbed “sport haters”. Sport haters account for approximately 20% of the Australian population, according to two surveys we have conducted of nearly 3,500 and more than 27,000 adults. Demographically, this group is significantly more likely to be female, younger and more affluent than other Australians. Their strong negative sentiments are reflected in the most common word associations <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/14413523.2023.2233342">study participants</a> used to describe sport. In the case of AFL, these were: “boring”, “overpaid”, “stupid/dumb”, “rough”, “scandal” and “alcohol”. While the reasons for disliking sport vary from person to person, research shows there are some common themes. The first is in childhood, where negative experiences participating in sport or attending games or matches can lead to a life-long dislike of all sport. As one professed sport hater said in an <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1zxfyt/guys_who_do_not_like_sports_can_you_explain_why/">online forum devoted to men who don’t like sport</a>: "My brother would force me to play soccer against my will all the time as children. I think that is where my resentment for physical sport comes from because the choice was taken away from me by my twat of a brother." Sport hatred can also derive from social exclusion or marginalisation. Sport has historically been a male-centric domain that <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0277539587900525">celebrates</a> masculinity and can lead to <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-20/taylor-swift-effect-sports-fandom-nfl/103486274">toxic behaviour</a>, which can exclude many women and some men. Sport has also had to overcome racism, perhaps most symbolically visible by AFL player Nicky Winmar’s <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-04-17/nicky-winmar-indigenous-afl-racism-anniversary/102222960">iconic protest</a> in 1993. In addition, individuals with a disability still face <a href="https://www.sportaus.gov.au/integrity_in_sport/inclusive-sport/understanding-our-diverse-audiences/people-with-disability#:%7E:text=People%20with%20disability%20receive%20the,than%20adults%20who%20don't.">barriers</a> that result in lower rates of sport participation. Here, the current <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-20/taylor-swift-effect-sports-fandom-nfl/103486274">Taylor Swift effect</a> is noteworthy. The singer’s attendance at National Football League games, including the Superbowl, resulted in huge spikes in television viewership. Through her association, Swift helped make the sport more <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S096969892300317X#bib122">psychologically accessible</a> for many women and girls. The <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books?hl=en&lr=&id=AvjrDwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PT125&dq=Contesting+national+Culture&ots=1_lQuBpKK7&sig=dMb-5s0PgpUumUTSFeEKZiNq0dg#v=onepage&q=Contesting%20national%20Culture&f=false">cultural dominance</a> of sport also fuels its detractors, with many critical of sport’s media saturation and its broader social and even political prioritisation. (The <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-16/macquarie-point-stadium-dominates-election-campaign-day-one/103473124">debate in Tasmania</a> over the controversial AFL stadium proposal is a good case in point.) From a media perspective, Australia’s particularly strict <a href="https://theconversation.com/regardless-of-the-rules-sport-is-fleeing-free-tv-for-pay-and-it-might-be-an-avalanche-154640">anti-siphoning</a> laws have ensured that sport remains front and centre on free-to-air television programming. Sport’s cultural dominance also fosters resentment for overshadowing people’s non-sporting passions and pursuits, as well as creating societal out-groups. Journalist Jo Chandler’s <a href="https://libraryedition.smedia.com.au/lib_a/Default.aspx#panel=document">2010</a> description of moving to Melbourne is no doubt shared by many: "In the workplace, to be unaligned is deeply isolating. Team tribalism infects meetings, especially when overseen by male chiefs. In shameful desperation, I’ve played along." In life, it’s fairly easy to avoid most products you might dislike. But given sport’s ubiquity, simply tuning out is sometimes not an option. <h2>The Anti-Football League, a club for haters</h2> In 1967, two Melbourne journalists, Keith Dunstan and Douglas Wilkie, launched an anti-sport club in response to this growing cultural dominance. In his founding address to the <a href="https://www.academia.edu/7584522/Football_is_a_Fever_Disease_Like_Recurrent_Malaria_and_Evidently_Incurable_Passion_Place_and_the_Emergence_of_an_Australian_Anti_Football_League">Anti-Football League</a>, Wilkie made clear who the club was for: "All of us who are tired of having football personalities, predictions and post mortems cluttering our newspapers, TV screens and attempts at alternative human converse – from beginning-of-morning prayers to the last trickle of bed time bathwater – should join at once." Membership quickly reached the thousands. Soon, a Sydney branch was launched, bringing national membership to a high of around 7,000. According to sport historian Matthew Klugman, members found joy in being “haters”. "…they wanted to find a shared meaning in their suffering, not to extinguish it, but to better enjoy it." This led to some curious rituals, with members ceremonially cremating footballs or burying them. An Anti-Football Day was also launched, taking place on the eve of the Victorian Football League Grand Final. The club would go on to experience periods of both prosperity and hiatus over the years, but has been dormant since <a href="https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/vale-keith-dunstan-gentle-footy-hater-cyclist-and-master-of-words-20130911-2tklh.html">Dunstan’s death</a> in 2013. With eight more years to go in Australia’s so-called “<a href="https://this.deakin.edu.au/career/golden-decade-of-sport-ahead-for-australia">golden decade of sport</a>”, which began with <a href="https://www.fiba.basketball/womensbasketballworldcup/2022">2022 Women’s Basketball World Cup in Sydney</a> and culminates with the 2032 Brisbane Olympics, it may be time sport haters to start a new support group. If you consider yourself a sport hater, and are interested in contributing your experience to our ongoing research, please provide your contact information <a href="https://researchsurveys.deakin.edu.au/jfe/form/SV_a4CqHyqipjYj5SC">here</a>.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223733/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hunter-fujak-290599">Hunter Fujak</a>, Senior Lecturer in Sport Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heath-mcdonald-92440">Heath McDonald</a>, Dean of Economics, Finance and Marketing and Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dreading-footy-season-youre-not-alone-20-of-australians-are-self-described-sport-haters-223733">original article</a>.

How to be kind to yourself (without going to a day spa)

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583">Lydia Brown</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> “I have to be hard on myself,” Sarah told me in a recent telehealth psychology session. “I would never reach my potential if I was kind and let myself off the hook.” I could empathise with this fear of self-compassion from clients such as Sarah (not her real name). From a young age, we are taught to be kind to others, but self-kindness is never mentioned. Instead, we are taught success hinges on self-sacrifice. And we need a healthy inner critic to bully us forward into becoming increasingly better versions of ourselves. But <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">research shows</a> there doesn’t have to be a trade-off between self-compassion and success. Self-compassion can help you reach your potential, while supporting you to face the inevitable stumbles and setbacks along the way. <h2>What is self-compassion?</h2> <a href="https://self-compassion.org/">Self-compassion</a> has <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298860309027">three</a> key ingredients. 1. Self-kindness This involves treating yourself with the same kindness you would extend towards a good friend – via your thoughts, feelings and actions – especially during life’s difficult moments. For instance, if you find yourself fixating on a minor mistake you made at work, self-kindness might involve taking a ten-minute walk to shift focus, and reminding yourself it is OK to make mistakes sometimes, before moving on with your day. 2. Mindfulness In this context, mindfulness involves being aware of your own experience of stress or suffering, rather than repressing or avoiding your feelings, or over-identifying with them. Basically, you must see your stress with a clear (mindful) perspective before you can respond with kindness. If we avoid or are consumed by our suffering, we lose perspective. 3. Common humanity Common humanity involves recognising our own experience of suffering as something that unites us as being human. For instance, a sleep-deprived parent waking up (for the fourth time) to feed their newborn might choose to think about all the other parents around the world doing exactly the same thing – as opposed to feeling isolated and alone. <h2>It’s not about day spas, or booking a manicure</h2> When Sarah voiced her fear that self-compassion would prevent her success, I explained self-compassion is distinct from self-indulgence. “So is self-compassion just about booking in more mani/pedis?” Sarah asked. Not really, I explained. A one-off trip to a day spa is unlikely to transform your mental health. Instead, self-compassion is a flexible <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">psychological resilience factor</a> that shapes our thoughts, feelings and actions. It’s associated with a suite of benefits to our <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">wellbeing</a>, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.639548">relationships</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17437199.2019.1705872">health</a>. <h2>What does the science say?</h2> Over the past 20 years, we’ve learned self-compassionate people enjoy a wide range of benefits. They tend to be <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">happier</a> and have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2012.06.003">fewer psychological symptoms</a> of distress. Those high on self-compassion <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">persevere</a> following a failure. They say they are more motivated to overcome a personal weakness than those low on self-compassion, who are more likely to give up. So rather than feeling trapped by your inadequacies, self-compassion encourages a <a href="https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion">growth mindset</a>, helping you reach your potential. However, self-compassion is not a panacea. It will not change your life circumstances or somehow make life “easy”. It is based on the premise that life is hard, and provides practical tools to cope. <h2>It’s a factor in healthy ageing</h2> I research menopause and healthy ageing and am especially interested in the value of self-compassion through menopause and in the second half of life. Because self-compassion becomes important during life’s challenges, it can help people navigate physical symptoms (for instance, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378512214001649?via%3Dihub">menopausal hot flushes</a>), life transitions such as <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797611429466">divorce</a>, and <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">promote healthy ageing</a>. I’ve also teamed up with researchers at <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/">Autism Spectrum Australia</a> to explore self-compassion in autistic adults. We found autistic adults report significantly <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05668-y">lower levels</a> of self-compassion than neurotypical adults. So we developed an online <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/blog/new-online-self-compassion-program-for-autistic-adults">self-compassion training program</a> for this at-risk population. <h2>Three tips for self-compassion</h2> You <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/jclp.21923">can learn</a> self-compassion with these three exercises. 1. What would you say to a friend? Think back to the last time you made a mistake. What did you say to yourself? If you notice you’re treating yourself more like an enemy than a friend, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, try to think about what you might tell a friend, and direct that same friendly language towards yourself. 2. Harness the power of touch Soothing human touch <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.555058/full">activates</a> the parasympathetic “relaxation” branch of our nervous system and counteracts the fight or flight response. Specifically, self-soothing touch (for instance, by placing both hands on your heart, stroking your forearm or giving yourself a hug) <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666497621000655">reduces</a> cortisol responses to psychosocial stress. 3. What do I need right now? Sometimes, it can be hard to figure out exactly what self-compassion looks like in a given moment. The question “what do I need right now” helps clarify your true needs. For example, when I was 37 weeks pregnant, I woke up bolt awake one morning at 3am. Rather than beating myself up about it, or fretting about not getting enough sleep, I gently placed my hands on my heart and took a few deep breaths. By asking myself “what do I need right now?” it became clear that listening to a gentle podcast/meditation fitted the bill (even though I wanted to addictively scroll my phone).<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583">Lydia Brown</a>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-be-kind-to-yourself-without-going-to-a-day-spa-223194">original article</a>.

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The biggest faux pas for self-funded retirees

Aussie mum with no licence or car fined thousands for traffic offences

Simon Baker charged with drink driving offences

Man fined $7000 for driving offences he did not commit

Just 15 centimetres of water can float a car – but we are failing to educate drivers about the dangers of floodwaters

Roadside cameras set to target more infringements

What the fox! Driver finds wild animal trapped in his car

Wild moment giraffe snatches toddler from car

Teen slapped with massive fine over "unsafe manoeuvre"

Little-known road rule that could cost you hundreds

Quiet beach town offering $450k job with free house and car

'Boomer' cyclist allegedly caught keying cars

Motorist fined $387 for "handling wallet" while driving

Woman fined after paid car park gets set up around her parked vehicle

Young boy killed in car crash just days after losing mum to cancer

AFP commander resigns after drink driving accident

"Find that car": Mother of fallen young lawyer speaks out

Police seize suspect's car in Samantha Murphy investigation

Dreading footy season? You’re not alone – 20% of Australians are self-described sport haters

How to be kind to yourself (without going to a day spa)

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