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Readers response: What seems too expensive but is really worth the price?

We asked our readers what items or experience seem, too expensive but are really worth the price, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what our audience will always justify the price of. Robbie Kirkwood - Travel insurance. Elizabeth Foster - Business class on long haul flights. Jeanette Wallis - Coffee beans. Mandy O'Connor - A good pair of Levi jeans, and a good pair of boots. Pamela McDonald - I would say electricity! Seems lots complain about the cost until you lose power, then you realise how hard life would be without it. Tess Witchell - Real butter! Three ply toilet rolls, frappe iced coffee from McDonald’s, and proper bakery bread. Sue Yunker - Wine! Michael Schulze - A decent cup of coffee. Suzanne Jones - A holiday. Rose Niemack - Fruits and vegetables. Image credits: Shutterstock

Money & Banking

"Yet another disgrace": Rolf Harris’ net worth revealed

Disgraced TV star Rolf Harris died penniless after wiping out his estimated $31 million fortune, making it difficult for his victims to claim compensation. The convicted pedophile died of neck cancer and old age last year after spending his final years as a recluse with his wife at their luxury $10 million riverside mansion in Bray, Berkshire. Harris – a staple of children’s TV in the 1980s - was convicted of 12 indecent assaults, and managed to overturn only one of his convictions. The vile pedophile was released from prison in 2017. After his death, it was said that he left a $31 million fortune that he amassed during his career to his wife Alwen Hughes and daughter Bindi, 60. However, probate documents seen by The Sun show that his assets were said to be worth just $853,436.98 when he died. When expenses were taken out the net value of his estate was $0. It is believed that most of his fortune was spent to make it difficult for his victims, who were seeking compensation, to access his wealth following his death. A large part of his fortune is believed to have been used on around-the-clock carers for him and his wife Alwen, who died in September this year after suffering from dementia. His legal documents show that his will was last signed in March 2022, a year before his death, and was witnesses by two of his carers. Investigator and ex-detective Mark Williams-Thomas, who helped to convict Harris, said: “This is yet another disgrace. “He has obviously planned to get rid of money and assets and there is no way he’d have actually been penniless. “He had amassed a huge amount of wealth and I would assume he has squirrelled it away to avoid victims making claims on it, even after his death. The man had no shame.” Harris was known for a string of children's TV hits and was the face of British Paints for more than three decades before he was dumped by the brand when he was arrested in 2013. The following year, he was convicted a found guilty on 12 counts of indecent assault, and was sentenced to five years and nine months in jail. The assaults include one on an eight-year-old fan who asked for his autograph, two on girls in their early teens, and a catalogue of abuse against his daughter's friend of over 16 years. He was released on parole in May 2017 after serving three years behind bars. Image: Alan Davidson/ Shutterstock Editorial

Money & Banking

Four ways to tell the designer fashion items worth investing in from the ones that aren’t

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/naomi-braithwaite-156824">Naomi Braithwaite</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/nottingham-trent-university-1338">Nottingham Trent University</a> Whether it’s aspiring to the “quiet luxury” or <a href="https://theconversation.com/new-clean-girl-and-old-money-aesthetics-on-tiktok-make-the-same-old-link-between-hygiene-and-class-208566">“old money” looks</a> taking over TikTok, or cringing at the “<a href="https://theconversation.com/far-from-the-ludicrously-capacious-what-the-fashion-of-succession-tells-us-about-the-show-and-about-society-202744">ludicrously capacious bag</a>” scene in the last season of Succession, designer clothes and accessories have been a hot topic in 2023. But with continued sales growth in <a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/industries/retail/our-insights/state-of-fashion">designer fashion</a>, and concerns about shopping more <a href="https://fashionunited.uk/news/retail/consumers-want-to-shop-sustainably-what-are-the-opportunities-for-brands/2022102465829">sustainably</a>, it’s worth considering investing your money in products that will last longer. Sales in luxury fashion have increased significantly since the pandemic. <a href="https://www.just-style.com/features/covid-two-years-on-expert-analysis-of-top-10-global-apparel-companies/?cf-view">Louis Vuitton</a>, for example, has increased its sales from 2019. And British luxury brand, Burberry, reported sales growth to be <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/jul/16/burberry-sales-return-to-pre-pandemic-levels-as-younger-shoppers-splash-out">86% higher</a> in the year following the pandemic (though there has been <a href="https://news.sky.com/story/burberry-shares-take-10-hit-on-warning-of-slump-in-luxury-demand-13009401">another dip in sales</a> more recently). The <a href="https://www.limitlessmanufacturinggroup.com/blog/the-rise-of-athleisure-how-activewear-became-mainstream-fashion">rise of athleisure</a> in fashion and designer collaborations such as <a href="https://www.manoloblahnik.com/gb/the-latest/post/manolo-blahnik-for-birkenstock">Manolo Blahnik for Birkenstock</a>, <a href="https://www.gucci.com/uk/en_gb/st/capsule/adidas-gucci">Gucci x Adidas</a> and <a href="https://uk.burberry.com/c/collaborations-supreme-burberry/">Burberry x Supreme</a> have made luxury more available. But prices are still high, so how can you know whether a purchase will stand the test of time and become an investment piece or a fashion flop? Here are four key factors to consider when making a designer purchase. <h2>1. Resale value</h2> An expensive purchase price may not guarantee that your product will hold its value. A key factor to consider is what the resale value of your purchase will be, as this will indicate the item’s investment potential. A fashion investment piece tends to be a luxury product with a higher price ticket. Prices of luxury fashion have increased over the last decade. Chanel bags, for example, have <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/walterloeb/2022/02/21/luxury-brand-prices-rise-sharply--will-it-cut-demand/">almost doubled</a> in price. Chanel’s iconic medium flap bag has increased from <a href="https://luxecollectivefashion.com/blogs/communique/your-expert-guide-to-the-chanel-price-increases-2023">£7,550 in 2022 to £8,530 in 2023</a> and is considered to be one of the most covetable designs in the <a href="https://www.whowhatwear.co.uk/best-luxury-handbags-resale-value/slide2">resale market</a>. Similarly, Hermès’ famous Birkin and Kelly bag designs, renowned for their quality, are <a href="https://www.sothebys.com/en/articles/hermes-bag-review-2022-birkin-bag-and-hermes-kelly-bag-remain-most-popular">undoubtedly investment pieces</a>. Despite the high price ticket, <a href="https://www.whowhatwear.co.uk/birkin-bag-prices/slide2">Birkin bags are in demand</a>. They are the most collectable and classic of designer bags, with an average retail price of USD$10,000 (£8,237), <a href="https://www.scmp.com/lifestyle/fashion-beauty/article/3211640/why-hermes-birkin-bag-such-good-investment-according-experts-other-luxury-handbags-might-not-be">which can double in the resale market</a>. Luxury fashion <a href="https://www.pursebop.com/new-app-calculates-the-resale-value-of-designer-handbags/">resaler Vestiaire</a>, along with online marketplaces like eBay, are useful sources for researching and calculating what the value of your purchase will be in the resale market. While designer bags can hold their value post-purchase, <a href="https://www.yourmoney.com/investing/can-clothing-ever-be-considered-an-investment/">clothes can be less straightforward</a> and will depend on the other following factors. <h2>2. Quality and style</h2> A <a href="https://www.voguebusiness.com/fashion/marketing-at-scale-explaining-luxurys-new-brand-identifiers">2023 report</a> has stated that the overt use of logos in recent years, from brands such as <a href="https://www.surefront.com/blog/is-logomania-really-over">Balenciaga and Louis Vuitton</a>, has been replaced by an interest in quiet luxury. Quiet luxury means <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/quiet-luxury-explained-which-brands-will-benefit-2023-4?r=US&IR=T">more simplistic, classic and timeless styling</a>. The focus on exquisite fabrics and design gives a sense of fashion that is not disposable and durable. A cashmere sweater from <a href="https://uk.loropiana.com/en/c/woman/knitwear">Lorna Piana</a> may cost over £1,700 but its quality and classic styling will ensure it’s an investment piece that transcends fashion trend cycle. Consideration of fabrics, styling and design aesthetic are all key in ensuring your fashion investment has longevity. <h2>3. Brand authenticity</h2> <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/303917660_The_Role_of_Heritage_and_Authenticity_in_the_Value_Creation_of_Fashion_Brand">Heritage and authenticity</a> can secure the value of fashion purchases. Brands that have a strong heritage – that have been around and respected for a long time – are better investment pieces, <a href="https://wwd.com/fashion-news/designer-luxury/luxury-fashion-heritage-chanel-dior1234792018-1234792018/">particularly in the categories of watches, jewellery and handbags</a>. Rolex watches are renowned as investment pieces, with models that are most rare commanding the higher appreciation values. In the realm of clothing, Burberry’s iconic trench coat – which has remained largely untouched in design terms for over 100 years – has been reported to be a good wardrobe investment by <a href="https://www.vogue.co.uk/fashion/article/burberry-trench-coats">Vogue</a>. The trench’s timeless design, alongside its long history, has secured its place as an investment product. However, when it comes to making the purchase it is important to go with <a href="https://www.gentlemansgazette.com/burberry-trench-coat/">Burberry’s original design</a>, rather than the fashion-led versions whose value may diminish as seasonal trends move on. <h2>4. Product endorsement</h2> Celebrity endorsement is a popular brand strategy for increasing the value of fashion products. While it may drive sales, it is important to consider what effect it will have on investment quality. A recent example was when the British pop star <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm4089170/">Harry Styles</a> wore the <a href="https://harpersbazaar.com.au/adidas-gucci-collaboration-collection/">luxe Adidas x Gucci Gazelle trainers</a>, during his 2023 tour, resulting in a <a href="https://www.sneakerfreaker.com/news/harry-styles-gucci-adidas-gazelle-samba-statistics?page=0">reported 100%</a> increase in sales of the trainer. While sneakers have previously had a bouyant <a href="https://www.fashionbeans.com/article/sneaker-reselling-guide/">resale market</a>, that is now <a href="https://www.voguebusiness.com/fashion/has-the-sneaker-bubble-finally-burst">declining</a>, raising questions as to whether they will continue to be positive investment pieces. Celebrities may create hype – but their endorsement does not always ensure the longevity of a product’s value. In 1999, <a href="https://hypebae.com/2018/10/dior-saddle-bag-history-john-galliano">Dior’s saddle bag</a> was featured on US TV series <a href="https://www.hbo.com/sex-and-the-city">Sex and the City</a>, securing its place as an <a href="https://garage.vice.com/en_us/article/mbxjmn/dior-saddle-bag-sex-in-the-city">iconic designer bag</a>. While this increased its value and desirability at the time, the bag eventually faded from view, until 2018, when Maria Grazia Chiuri, Dior’s current design director, relaunched it. This resulted in a frenzy of interest <a href="https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/fashion/a42118540/dior-saddle-bag/">in the original Galliano designs</a>. Endorsement creates hype and desirability, but occasionally it can also create a classic too. But this takes time, and it’s best to consider other factors including brand authenticity, quality and style when planning an investment purchase. Also, value does not always have to have a price attributed to it. In the world of designer fashion, it is important not to overlook the significance of the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2023/oct/13/fashion-thats-begging-for-love-designers-want-to-create-meaningful-stuff">emotional durability</a> of our purchases and how that can ensure an enduring value and longevity. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/naomi-braithwaite-156824">Naomi Braithwaite</a>, Associate Professor in Fashion Marketing and Branding, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/nottingham-trent-university-1338">Nottingham Trent University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/four-ways-to-tell-the-designer-fashion-items-worth-investing-in-from-the-ones-that-arent-215831">original article</a>. </div>

Beauty & Style

How can I make summer style part of my self-care routine?

Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be complicated. With summer just around the corner, it’s a great time to refresh your self-care routine with small changes that help you feel your best. One easy way to do this is by choosing clothing made from breathable Australian cotton and linen. They keep you cool, feel great against the skin and make looking put-together effortless. In this guide, we’ll show you how your summer wardrobe can fit into your self-care routine, featuring pieces from Sussan, a retailer known for easy, comfortable styles that last all season. Simplify your day with matching sets <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/11/Sussan01.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> A big part of self-care is simplifying your day as much as possible, and that includes your clothing choices. Summer is the time for relaxed, unfussy outfits that don’t require a lot of planning. <a href="https://www.sussan.com.au/clothing/sets" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Matching sets</a> are perfect for this because they take away the guesswork. Everything is already coordinated, which saves you time and makes your mornings easier. A soft denim skirt made from Australian cotton paired with a lightweight tee is breathable and practical for warm days. These pieces help you stay comfy when running errands or enjoying time with friends. Stay cool all day in linen dresses <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/11/Sussan04.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> <a href="https://www.sussan.com.au/clothing/linen/linen-dresses" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Linen dresses</a> are an easy go-to for keeping cool and comfortable during hot summer days. The fabric is light, breathable and perfect for warm weather, which is why it’s a great fit for everything from weekend barbecues to beach walks. With styles like shirt dresses, minis, midis and maxis, there’s plenty of variety to match whatever the day calls for. Styling a linen dress is also simple and practical. With the right accessories, it can easily shift from a casual daytime outfit to an evening look. Style it with a hat for an easy brunch outfit or a trip to the markets. To dress it up, add a light jacket and some jewellery, like a pair of earrings or a statement necklace. Unwind with breathable loungewear <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/11/Sussan03.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Practising self-care through summer style can be as simple as choosing clothes that help you relax and feel comfy all day long. This is easy to achieve with loungewear made from pure linen and linen blends. Look for lightweight loungewear tops, pants and shorts that feel soft on the skin and keep you cool as you move through your day. For a summer-ready look, pair a linen top with matching shorts for warm afternoons, or switch to linen pants for a little more coverage on cooler evenings. End your day in Australian cotton sleepwear Winding down at the end of the day feels easier when you’re wearing clothes that make you feel calm and cosy. <a href="https://www.sussan.com.au/shop-the-edit-sleepwear/australian-cotton-sleepwear" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Australian cotton sleepwear</a> in soft, breathable fabrics is a great option as it sits lightly on the skin and keeps you comfortable during warm nights. You can mix and match Australian cotton pyjama tops, tanks, shorts and pants or wear nighties to match your mood and comfort level. These versatile let you settle in and enjoy quiet evenings at home. Wear what feels good this summer <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/11/Sussan02.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Updating your summer wardrobe with comfy, breathable pieces is an easy way to bring self-care into your routine. With matching sets, linen dresses, loungewear and soft Australian cotton sleepwear from <a href="https://www.sussan.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Sussan</a>, you can have more time to focus on yourself and enjoy the season your way. Start refreshing your wardrobe with these pieces that feel good to wear, and use your summer style to prioritise self-care! Images: Sussan This is a sponsored article produced in partnership with Sussan

Beauty & Style

Readers response: What’s the most unexpected thing you’ve learned about yourself through travel?

When it comes to travelling, it's not uncommon to have revelations about yourself while self-reflecting in a new place. We asked our readers what the most unexpected thing they've learned about themselves is through travel, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Penny Corbin - I don't need the cathedrals, monuments, the tours, I just love walking in the space and finding my own beauty wherever it leads me. Dom Cimino - That I really love meeting people of all backgrounds. Jenny Halkett - To treat it as an adventure, and don’t be afraid to ask a qualified person for advice. Kristeen Collison - That I’m more adventurous than I thought. Angie Jansen - That I love it. Just new places, culture, food, history, the wonderful people, the adventures you have and the memories, it’s the experiencing new things and learning, exploring, being amazed. Just so grateful I can still do it. Palma Hemer - To have a sense of humour, rain hail or shine. Anne Jenkin - That I can enjoy the travel by myself but I do like meeting new people on these trips. Kath Sheppard - To try to learn basic phrases when travelling. It's definitely appreciated. Kerry Fischer - Soak up the vibe wherever you are! Every place has beauty! Jacqueline Buchanan - That a smile speaks many languages. Martin Drake - That there is just too much to see and not enough time. Image credits: Shutterstock

Travel Tips

Olympian's life "a living nightmare" after simple self-check out mistake

A former Olympian has spoken about how her life was ruined after she accidentally failed to scan to items at a self-checkout machine in Walmart. Canadian athlete Meaggan Pettipiece, 48, was arrested on March 28 in Indiana for theft, possession of marijuana and possession of a controlled substance. The charges have since been dropped, but Pettipiece lost her prestigious job as the head coach of the Valparaiso University softball team as a result and says her career and reputation have been ruined. The ordeal began when the self-checkout machine at Walmart reportedly failed to scan the asparagus and ham that Pettipiece intended to purchase. Walmart security saw that she failed to scan the items — worth a total of $67 — prompting them to call the police despite her having paid $167 for her other groceries. Pettipiece was arrested and when police searched her they found three disposable vapes in her purse, along with two unopened blister packs containing anti-nausea medication Zofran. The former athlete said the vapes did not contain any nicotine or THC, and the anti-nausea pills belonged to an assistant coach who had asked her to keep them in her purse during a softball game, days before her arrest. “We both forgot about them,” Pettipiece told the National Post. The outlet reported that earlier this month, her lawyer submitted an application for dismissal that included her account of the incident, proof of her assistant’s prescription, and character reference letters. After reading the application, her charges were dropped by justice officials on September 19, but the damage caused by the incident "changed everything". “It is bittersweet,” she told National Post. “I’m happy, obviously, the charges were dismissed. The sad part is the damage it did to my career. It has changed everything in my life.” Pettipiece resigned as head coach of the softball team shortly after the Walmart incident. "It's been five months, a living nightmare. I lost my career, I lost my job, the life I was building and it's been really difficult." Along with the damage to her career, Pettipiece said the effect on her reputation has been equally heartbreaking. “The softball community is a tight-knit group and it (the news) went through like wildfire,” she said. “You really do learn who the people are that really believe in you and trust you and are truly a friend for you." The former athlete is now living in Ohio with her family, and though the charges against her have been dismissed she is worried the damage "can't be reversed". “The tough thing is, how do you get out to people that you are innocent? And this damage was done for something so ridiculous,” Pettipiece told the outlet. “I’m not sure of the future. For now, I’m going to stay at home and focus on my kids. I’d like to figure out which direction I’m going to go in.” Image: Valparaiso University Athletics/ ZikG / Shutterstock.com

Legal

Is it worth selling my house if I’m going into aged care?

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/colin-zhang-1234147">Colin Zhang</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/macquarie-university-1174">Macquarie University</a> For senior Australians who cannot live independently at home, residential aged care can provide accommodation, personal care and general health care. People usually think this is expensive. And many assume they need to sell their home to pay for a lump-sum deposit. But that’s not necessarily the case. Here’s what you need to consider. <h2>You may get some financial support</h2> Fees for residential aged care are complex and can be confusing. Some are for your daily care, some are means-tested, some are for your accommodation and some pay for extras, such as cable TV. But it’s easier to think of these fees as falling into two categories: <ul> <li> an “entry deposit”, which is usually more than <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/2020/06/eighth-report-on-the-funding-and-financing-of-the-aged-care-industry-july-2020-eighth-report-on-the-funding-and-financing-of-the-aged-care-industry-may-2020.pdf">$A300,000</a>, and is refunded when you leave aged care </li> <li> daily “<a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/aged-care-home-costs-and-fees">ongoing fees</a>”, which are $52.71-$300 a day, or more. These cover the basic daily fee, which everyone pays, and the means-tested care fee. </li> </ul> To find out how much government support you’ll receive for both these categories, you will have a “<a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/income-and-means-assessments/#aged-care-home">means test</a>” to assess your income and assets. This means test is similar (but different) to the means test for the aged pension. Generally speaking, the lower your aged-care means test amount, the more government support you’ll receive for aged care. With full support, you don’t need to pay an “entry deposit”. But you still need to pay the basic daily fee (currently, <a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/aged-care-home-costs-and-fees">$52.71</a> a day), equivalent to 85% of your aged pension. If you get partial support, you pay less for your “entry deposit” and ongoing fees. <h2>You don’t need a lump sum</h2> You don’t have to pay for your “entry deposit” as a lump sum. You can choose to pay a rental-style daily cost instead. This is calculated as follows: you multiply the amount of the required “entry deposit” by the maximum permissible interest rate. This rate is set by government and is currently at <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/2021/03/schedule-of-fees-and-charges-for-residential-and-home-care-schedule-from-20-march-2021_0.pdf">4.01%</a> per year for new residents. Then you divide that sum by 365 to give a daily rate. This option is like borrowing money to pay for your “entry deposit” via an interest-only loan. You can also pay for your “entry deposit” with a combination of a lump sum and a daily rental cost. As it’s not compulsory to pay a lump sum for your “entry deposit”, you have different options for dealing with your family home. <h2>Option 1: keep your house and rent it out</h2> This allows you to use the rental-style daily cost to finance your “entry deposit”. Pros <ul> <li> you could have more income from rent. This can help pay for the rental-style daily cost and “ongoing fees” of aged care </li> <li> you might have a special sentimental attachment to your family house. So keeping it might be a less confronting option </li> <li> keeping an expensive family house will not heavily impact your residential aged care cost. That’s because any value of your family house above <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/2021/03/schedule-of-fees-and-charges-for-residential-and-home-care-schedule-from-20-march-2021_0.pdf">$173,075.20</a> will be excluded from your <a href="https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/organisations/health-professionals/services/aged-care-entry-requirements-providers/residential-care/residential-aged-care-means-assessment">means test</a> </li> <li> you can still access the capital gains of your house, as house prices rise. </li> </ul> Cons <ul> <li> your rental income needs to be included in the means test for your aged pension. So you might get less aged pension </li> <li> you might need to pay income tax on the rental income </li> <li> compared to the lump sum payment, choosing the rental-style daily cost means you will end up <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/money/super-and-retirement/seek-help-when-weighing-up-how-to-pay-for-your-aged-care-20191202-p53g16.html">paying more</a> </li> <li> you are subject to a changing rental market. </li> </ul> <h2>Option 2: keep your house and rent it out, with a twist</h2> If you have some savings, you can use a combination of a lump sum and daily rental cost to pay for your “entry deposit”. Pros <ul> <li> like option 1, you can keep your house and have a steady income </li> <li> the amount of lump sum deposit will not be counted as an asset in the pension means test. </li> </ul> Cons <ul> <li> like option 1, you could have less pension income, higher age-care costs and need to pay more income tax </li> <li> you have less liquid assets (assets you could quickly sell or access), which could be handy in an emergency. </li> </ul> <h2>Option 3: sell your house</h2> If you sell your house, you can use all or part of the proceeds to pay for your “entry deposit”. Pros <ul> <li> if you have any money left over after selling your house and paying for your “entry deposit”, you can invest the rest </li> <li> as your “entry deposit” is exempt from your aged pension means test, it means more pension income. </li> </ul> Cons <ul> <li>if you have money left over after selling your house, this will be included in the aged-care means test. So you can end up with less financial support for aged care.</li> </ul> <h2>In a nutshell</h2> Keeping your house and renting it out (option 1 or 2) can give you a better income stream, which you can use to cover other living costs. And if you’re not concerned about having access to liquid assets in an emergency, option 2 can be better for you than option 1. But selling your house (option 3) avoids you being exposed to a changing rental market, particularly if the economy is going into recession. It also gives you more capital, and you don’t need to pay a rental-style daily cost. <hr /> This article is general in nature, and should not be considered financial advice. For advice tailored to your individual situation and your personal finances, please see a qualified financial planner. Correction: this article previously stated the amount of lump sum deposit will not be counted as an asset in the aged-care means test, as a pro of option 2. In fact, the amount of lump sum deposit will not be counted as an asset in the pension means test.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/161674/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/colin-zhang-1234147">Colin Zhang</a>, Lecturer, Department of Actuarial Studies and Business Analytics, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/macquarie-university-1174">Macquarie University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-it-worth-selling-my-house-if-im-going-into-aged-care-161674">original article</a>. </div>

Retirement Income

"World's biggest" amber nugget worth over $1 million used as doorstop for decades

An elderly woman in Romania has unknowingly used one of the largest known amber nuggets in the world - worth over €1 million ($1.6 million) - as her doorstop for decades. The woman found the stone in the bed of a stream in Colti, a village in the southeast Romania, and used it as her doorstop for years without realising its value. Members of her family also reported that thieves had once broken into her home, but only stole a few pieces of gold jewelry, missing the seemingly insignificant rock. “In their frantic search for valuables, they overlooked the real treasure that was there before their eyes,” they said. It wasn't until after the woman died in 1991 that a relative who inherited her home suspected the doorstop might be more than meets the eye - and he was right. When he sold the amber to the Romanian state, experts at the Museum of History in Krakow, Poland appraised the rock and found that the amber is likely between around 38 and 70 million years old. “Its discovery represents a great significance both at a scientific level and at a museum level,” Daniel Costache, director of the Provincial Museum of Buzau, told local news outlet El Pais. The expert also claimed that the amber is one of the largest pieces in the world and the largest of its kind weighing a hefty 3.5-kilograms. It has now been classified as a national treasure of Romania, and can be found in the Provincial Museum of Buzau, where it has been since 2022. Romania is one of the countries with significant deposits of amber, with Buzau County being one of the areas where you can find these beautiful stones in abundance. The protected area also contains the old Stramba amber mine, which was very productive during the first half of the 21st century, before it was shut down by the communist regime as it was considered unprofitable. Image: Buzău County Museum

Home & Garden

The biggest faux pas for self-funded retirees

Whether you have been retired for some time or are still looking forward to the time you can step back, chances are there are important considerations you may have overlooked. From planning and pensions to family and housing, these are the biggest self-funded retirement mistakes I come across, and some insights into how to avoid repeating them: <ol> <li>Lack of a plan</li> </ol> Not having a retirement plan is perhaps the most basic faux pas, but often the most costly. A detailed plan should cover things like: <ul> <li>When you AND your partner will retire </li> <li>Where you will live (you may want to downsize, relocate, seek assisted living)</li> <li>Anticipated living costs (living situation, health, lifestyle)</li> <li>How you will spend your time (hobbies, travel, volunteering, time with family)</li> <li>Strategies to maximise investments and superannuation</li> <li>Tax minimisation strategies</li> </ul> Remember: failing to plan = planning to fail. <ol start="2"> <li>Poor planning</li> </ol> Having a plan is the starting point, but it won’t get you far if it’s incomplete, not updated as circumstances change, or omits critical factors. For couples, not considering age differences is a big mistake. One partner retiring before the other can have big shifts on financial and tax dynamics and even the relationship itself. Then there is end-of-life care, particularly if the younger partner is still working. Not building in a safety buffer is another no-no. Too many retirees have been caught out by the high inflation of recent years, having calculated their anticipated income needs on much lower living costs. Balance short-term and long-term goals: being overly conservative early on can limit your financial situation down the track. And no plan is complete without contingencies for worst case scenarios – insurances, protections, back-up options. <ol start="3"> <li>Insecure housing </li> </ol> Government data has long shown major differences in quality of life for retirees who own their home versus those who don’t. Homelessness or insecure housing, the mercy of the rental market, and inability to customise your home as you age or if you need specialised support with disability or health issues are some of the challenges renters face. Furthermore, public estimates of how much the average Australian needs to retire typically assume home ownership – meaning rent is not part of that calculation. That’s a huge living cost you may not have factored into your retirement planning. <ol start="4"> <li>Unclaimed pensions</li> </ol> Contrary to popular belief, self-funded retirement and claiming a pension are not mutually exclusive. You may be eligible for a part-pension, calculated pro-rata according to the value of your assets and other income. Claiming a part-pension, no matter how small it may be, reduces how much income you need to draw down from super – making it last longer. Don’t fall into another common trap when applying – overestimating your assets. It’s easy to assume your non-monetary assets are worth more than what they really are, reducing how much pension you receive or negating your eligibility altogether. <ol start="5"> <li>Depleted Bank of Mum and Dad</li> </ol> With home ownership increasingly out of reach for younger adults, the Bank of Mum and Dad is often sought to bridge the gap. How you do so will impact your own situation. Giving more than you can afford can leave you overstretched. Missed loan repayments could see you fall behind on your own bills. Not putting agreements in writing can lead to disputes down the track. Having a loan guarantee called in could see you homeless. Be wise about decisions you make here and don’t let heartstrings cloud your judgement. <ol start="6"> <li>Suffering in silence</li> </ol> Elder abuse is a sad but significant problem. Given they have money in the bank, self-funded retirees are often the most vulnerable. Its effects can be far-reaching, impacting your mental and physical health, financial wellbeing, social interactions, and quality of life. Be aware of <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/retirement-income/are-you-a-victim-of-elder-abuse-without-even-realising-it">the signs that something isn’t right</a>. If you recognise it happening to you – or someone you know – speak up and seek help. <ol start="7"> <li>Forgoing professional advice</li> </ol> How much of the above details did you already know? Chances are, not all of them. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Money is a complicated business and you simply don’t know what you don’t know, which is why seeking independent, tailored advice from a professional is so important. A good financial advisor can help you identify new opportunities and manage risks you may not have considered, limit expenses and also work with your accountant to minimise your tax. Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of On Your Own Two Feet: The Essential Guide to Financial Independence for all Women. Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at <a href="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au/">www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au</a> Disclaimer: The information in this article is of a general nature only and does not constitute personal financial or product advice. Any opinions or views expressed are those of the authors and do not represent those of people, institutions or organisations the owner may be associated with in a professional or personal capacity unless explicitly stated. Helen Baker is an authorised representative of BPW Partners Pty Ltd AFSL 548754. Image credits: Shutterstock

Retirement Income

Supermoons are boring – here are 5 things in the sky worth your time

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michael-j-i-brown-113">Michael J. I. Brown</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a> A <a href="https://science.nasa.gov/solar-system/moon/what-is-a-supermoon/">supermoon</a> may sound exciting, but it’s a modest coincidence. As the Moon orbits Earth, its distance from us varies from 357,000 to 407,000 kilometres. When the Moon and the Sun are in almost opposite directions from Earth, we get a full moon. A “supermoon” is a full moon where its position along its orbit is within 10% of its closest approach to Earth. That’s it. This means a supermoon has an apparent diameter that’s 14% larger than the smallest possible full moon. That’s not a lot. You can’t really notice the difference by eye. As an astronomer, I have a problem with supermoons. There are genuine wonders to see in the night sky, so don’t be disappointed by a dull, overhyped supermoon. <h2>When is the best time to view the Moon?</h2> Articles hyping supermoons are easy. ChatGPT can do it. Say it’s the first supermoon since whenever, add some superlatives, and throw in a telephoto lens photo of a full moon with a landmark. Perhaps the supermoon coincides with another otherwise normal full moon, so it can be a “<a href="https://moon.nasa.gov/news/197/super-blue-moons-your-questions-answered/">blue supermoon</a>” or a “<a href="https://www.accuweather.com/en/space-news/super-worm-moon-how-to-see-the-final-full-moon-of-winter/695656">worm supermoon</a>” or whatever. It’s still just a full moon. If you do want to look at the Moon and it happens to be a supermoon, go for it. But there are better times to admire our only natural satellite, particularly with binoculars or a telescope. The best time to look at the Moon is when its shadows, as seen from Earth, are longest. These long shadows help the craters and mountains stand out from the surrounding plains, so you can appreciate the dramatic landscape of our neighbouring world. The shadows are longest when the Moon appears as a half moon in the night sky. During a full moon or a supermoon the shadows are at their shortest – not nearly as impressive. <h2>Supermoons are a distraction</h2> Have you seen the craters of the Moon, <a href="https://skyandtelescope.org/observing/viewing-saturn-the-planet-rings-and-moons/#:%7E:text=Viewing%20Saturn's%20Rings,the%20ball%20of%20the%20planet.">the rings of Saturn</a>, the clouds of Jupiter or <a href="https://skyandtelescope.org/observing/celestial-objects-to-watch/observing-the-great-orion-nebula/#:%7E:text=First%20locate%20Orion's%20Belt%2C%20which,ll%20find%20the%20Orion%20Nebula.">the Orion nebula</a> with a telescope? They truly are awe-inspiring. Even the most dedicated astronomers return to view them time and time again. <figure class="align-right zoomable"></figure> In fact, astronomers prefer to avoid nights with supermoons and catch up on lost sleep. Full moons flood the night sky with light and make it harder to view more subtle and interesting sights. Want to look at the grand expanse of the Milky Way with the unaided eye? Want to see a meteor shower, comet or aurora? Best done without a damn supermoon. It can be fun to see something truly rare or unusual in the sky. But supermoons don’t qualify for that either. Using the definition I mentioned earlier, there are typically three or four supermoons each year. More restrictive definitions give us one or two supermoons per year. Not only is that not rare, it still just looks like a full moon. There are rarer celestial events that really can inspire. Millions of people across the globe saw <a href="https://science.nasa.gov/science-research/heliophysics/how-nasa-tracked-the-most-intense-solar-storm-in-decades/">bright auroras in May 2024</a>, including places where truly spectacular auroras are few and far between. Comets can also be wonderful. Every decade or so, a comet swings into the inner Solar System and produces a bright tail, millions of kilometres long and visible from Earth. Back when I was a student, I saw <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comet_Hyakutake">Comet Hyakutake’s bright blue tail</a> stretch across a huge expanse of sky. Sometimes comets fizzle, but when they’re great they are amazing. <h2>Want something impressive? Try an eclipse</h2> Auroras and comets can be fickle, but eclipses are predictable and put on a reliable show. Take total solar eclipses, when the Moon covers the Sun and day turns briefly into night. Thousands travel across the globe to see them. I will be travelling to New South Wales for the <a href="https://eclipse.asa.astronomy.org.au/eclipse-australia-2028/">2028 eclipse</a>. <figure class="align-left zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/613126/original/file-20240813-17-ewfavl.jpeg?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"> </a></figure> <a href="https://www.space.com/15689-lunar-eclipses.html">Lunar eclipses</a>, when the Moon falls within Earth’s shadow, can be a more accessible eclipse experience, which is visible from your own home <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_lunar_eclipses_in_the_21st_century">every few years</a>. During the best lunar eclipses, the Moon turns a dark red as the only light that reaches it comes through Earth’s atmosphere. As an astronomer, I encourage people to look at celestial sights. Go out and see the Moon when it can really impress – during an eclipse or viewed through a telescope. Or enjoy the planets, auroras, comets and meteor showers when there is no Moon at all. But please don’t waste time on supermoons.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/236416/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michael-j-i-brown-113">Michael J. I. Brown</a>, Associate Professor in Astronomy, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/supermoons-are-boring-here-are-5-things-in-the-sky-worth-your-time-236416">original article</a>. </div>

Travel Tips

Bruce Springsteen is officially a billionaire

Bruce Springsteen has officially become a billionaire. Financial magazine Forbes announced his achievement, with the 74-year-old's fortune at an estimated $US 1.1 billion (approx. $1.7 billion), with the outlet emphasising that they were just "conservatively estimating". The rock star had a six-decade long career, with over 140 million albums sold worldwide, an autobiography, Born to Run, and a sold-out Broadway show called Springsteen on Broadway, as a few of the factors that helped him become a billionaire. But of course, the biggest reason would be due to selling his entire music catalogue — featuring hits such as Dancing in the Dark, Brilliant Disguise and Streets of Philadelphia — to Sony in 2021 for $US 500 million (approx. $748 million). In 2023, his world tour raked in $US380 million ($569 million), according to Pollstar, and he is still touring to this day, having recently been in Stockholm for the European leg of his tour, Springsteen and E Street Band. Springsteen also dabbles in real estate, with two lavish properties in Wellington, Florida and a residence in Beverly Hills he bought in 2010, which is now estimated at $US15 million ($22 million). The rock star has certainly come a long way from his humble beginnings as a bartender at the Stone Pony club in Asbury Park, New Jersey. “I wasn’t much of a bartender, but I’d serve up the beers and just have fun with the fans, and just enjoy myself,” Springsteen said in his new book I Don’t Want to Go Home: The Oral History of the Stone Pony. “[My signature] was beer. With a Jack Daniel’s on the side, maybe.” No matter how much money he has earned, Springsteen stays true to his roots as the boy from New Jersey, and just last year he was spotted at a cheap diner, Roberto’s Freehold Grill, in his home town. “I just still like it here,” he told Variety in 2017. “I think Jersey Shore is a great place to live … I’m still a beach bum so I’ll swim until November. It’s just still a place that we love, man.” Image: JUANJO MARTIN/EPA-EFE/ Shutterstock Editorial

Money & Banking

Dreading footy season? You’re not alone – 20% of Australians are self-described sport haters

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hunter-fujak-290599">Hunter Fujak</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heath-mcdonald-92440">Heath McDonald</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a> With the winter AFL and NRL seasons about to start, Australia’s sporting calendar is once again transitioning from its quietest to busiest period. For many, the return of the AFL and NRL competitions is highly anticipated. But there is one group whose experience is very different: the approximately 20% of Australians who hate sport. We are currently conducting research to better understand why people feel this way about sport and what their experiences are like living in a nation where sport is so <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1329878x15616515">culturally central</a>. We have completed surveys with thousands of Australians and are now beginning to interview those who have described themselves as “sport haters”. <h2>Australia, a ‘sports mad’ nation</h2> Australia has long been described as a “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14660970902955588">sports mad nation</a>”, a reasonable assertion given the Melbourne Cup attracted crowds of <a href="https://catalogue.nla.gov.au/catalog/2178266">more than 100,000 people</a> as far back as the 1880s. Australia’s sport passion is perhaps most evident today from the number of professional teams we support for a nation of 26 million people, one of the highest per capita <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Heath-Mcdonald/publication/326140082_Are_Sport_Consumers_Unique_Consumer_Behavior_Within_Crowded_Sport_Markets/links/5e9465fd92851c2f529c4322/Are-Sport-Consumers-Unique-Consumer-Behavior-Within-Crowded-Sport-Markets.pdf">concentrations</a> in the world. In addition to our four distinct football codes – Australian rules football, rugby league, rugby union and soccer – we have professional netball, basketball, cricket and tennis. In all, there are more than <a href="https://www.clearinghouseforsport.gov.au/kb/structure-of-australian-sport">130 professional sport teams in Australia</a> today (across both genders). Australia also hosts – and Australians attend – major sport events at a rate wildly disproportionate to the size of our population and economy. <a href="https://www.blackbookmotorsport.com/news/f1-australian-grand-prix-record-crowd-melbourne-albert-park/">Formula One</a>, the <a href="https://ausopen.com/articles/news/record-breaking-australian-open-ao-2024-numbers">Australian Open</a>, the <a href="https://nbl.com.au/news/nbl-sets-new-season-attendance-record">National Basketball League</a>, the <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/sport/nrl/nrl-attendance-records-tumble-as-fans-flock-back-to-footy-20230902-p5e1ib.html">National Rugby League</a> and <a href="https://mumbrella.com.au/64-of-aussie-population-watched-matildas-new-deakin-research-claims-797902">Matildas</a> have all recently broken attendance or television viewership records. <h2>Why people hate sport</h2> The ubiquity of sport in our culture, however, conceals the fact that a significant portion of people strongly and actively dislike sport. Recent <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/14413523.2023.2233342">research</a> by one of the co-authors here (Heath McDonald) has begun to shine light on this cohort, dubbed “sport haters”. Sport haters account for approximately 20% of the Australian population, according to two surveys we have conducted of nearly 3,500 and more than 27,000 adults. Demographically, this group is significantly more likely to be female, younger and more affluent than other Australians. Their strong negative sentiments are reflected in the most common word associations <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/14413523.2023.2233342">study participants</a> used to describe sport. In the case of AFL, these were: “boring”, “overpaid”, “stupid/dumb”, “rough”, “scandal” and “alcohol”. While the reasons for disliking sport vary from person to person, research shows there are some common themes. The first is in childhood, where negative experiences participating in sport or attending games or matches can lead to a life-long dislike of all sport. As one professed sport hater said in an <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1zxfyt/guys_who_do_not_like_sports_can_you_explain_why/">online forum devoted to men who don’t like sport</a>: "My brother would force me to play soccer against my will all the time as children. I think that is where my resentment for physical sport comes from because the choice was taken away from me by my twat of a brother." Sport hatred can also derive from social exclusion or marginalisation. Sport has historically been a male-centric domain that <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0277539587900525">celebrates</a> masculinity and can lead to <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-20/taylor-swift-effect-sports-fandom-nfl/103486274">toxic behaviour</a>, which can exclude many women and some men. Sport has also had to overcome racism, perhaps most symbolically visible by AFL player Nicky Winmar’s <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-04-17/nicky-winmar-indigenous-afl-racism-anniversary/102222960">iconic protest</a> in 1993. In addition, individuals with a disability still face <a href="https://www.sportaus.gov.au/integrity_in_sport/inclusive-sport/understanding-our-diverse-audiences/people-with-disability#:%7E:text=People%20with%20disability%20receive%20the,than%20adults%20who%20don't.">barriers</a> that result in lower rates of sport participation. Here, the current <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-20/taylor-swift-effect-sports-fandom-nfl/103486274">Taylor Swift effect</a> is noteworthy. The singer’s attendance at National Football League games, including the Superbowl, resulted in huge spikes in television viewership. Through her association, Swift helped make the sport more <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S096969892300317X#bib122">psychologically accessible</a> for many women and girls. The <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books?hl=en&lr=&id=AvjrDwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PT125&dq=Contesting+national+Culture&ots=1_lQuBpKK7&sig=dMb-5s0PgpUumUTSFeEKZiNq0dg#v=onepage&q=Contesting%20national%20Culture&f=false">cultural dominance</a> of sport also fuels its detractors, with many critical of sport’s media saturation and its broader social and even political prioritisation. (The <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-16/macquarie-point-stadium-dominates-election-campaign-day-one/103473124">debate in Tasmania</a> over the controversial AFL stadium proposal is a good case in point.) From a media perspective, Australia’s particularly strict <a href="https://theconversation.com/regardless-of-the-rules-sport-is-fleeing-free-tv-for-pay-and-it-might-be-an-avalanche-154640">anti-siphoning</a> laws have ensured that sport remains front and centre on free-to-air television programming. Sport’s cultural dominance also fosters resentment for overshadowing people’s non-sporting passions and pursuits, as well as creating societal out-groups. Journalist Jo Chandler’s <a href="https://libraryedition.smedia.com.au/lib_a/Default.aspx#panel=document">2010</a> description of moving to Melbourne is no doubt shared by many: "In the workplace, to be unaligned is deeply isolating. Team tribalism infects meetings, especially when overseen by male chiefs. In shameful desperation, I’ve played along." In life, it’s fairly easy to avoid most products you might dislike. But given sport’s ubiquity, simply tuning out is sometimes not an option. <h2>The Anti-Football League, a club for haters</h2> In 1967, two Melbourne journalists, Keith Dunstan and Douglas Wilkie, launched an anti-sport club in response to this growing cultural dominance. In his founding address to the <a href="https://www.academia.edu/7584522/Football_is_a_Fever_Disease_Like_Recurrent_Malaria_and_Evidently_Incurable_Passion_Place_and_the_Emergence_of_an_Australian_Anti_Football_League">Anti-Football League</a>, Wilkie made clear who the club was for: "All of us who are tired of having football personalities, predictions and post mortems cluttering our newspapers, TV screens and attempts at alternative human converse – from beginning-of-morning prayers to the last trickle of bed time bathwater – should join at once." Membership quickly reached the thousands. Soon, a Sydney branch was launched, bringing national membership to a high of around 7,000. According to sport historian Matthew Klugman, members found joy in being “haters”. "…they wanted to find a shared meaning in their suffering, not to extinguish it, but to better enjoy it." This led to some curious rituals, with members ceremonially cremating footballs or burying them. An Anti-Football Day was also launched, taking place on the eve of the Victorian Football League Grand Final. The club would go on to experience periods of both prosperity and hiatus over the years, but has been dormant since <a href="https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/vale-keith-dunstan-gentle-footy-hater-cyclist-and-master-of-words-20130911-2tklh.html">Dunstan’s death</a> in 2013. With eight more years to go in Australia’s so-called “<a href="https://this.deakin.edu.au/career/golden-decade-of-sport-ahead-for-australia">golden decade of sport</a>”, which began with <a href="https://www.fiba.basketball/womensbasketballworldcup/2022">2022 Women’s Basketball World Cup in Sydney</a> and culminates with the 2032 Brisbane Olympics, it may be time sport haters to start a new support group. If you consider yourself a sport hater, and are interested in contributing your experience to our ongoing research, please provide your contact information <a href="https://researchsurveys.deakin.edu.au/jfe/form/SV_a4CqHyqipjYj5SC">here</a>.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223733/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hunter-fujak-290599">Hunter Fujak</a>, Senior Lecturer in Sport Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heath-mcdonald-92440">Heath McDonald</a>, Dean of Economics, Finance and Marketing and Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dreading-footy-season-youre-not-alone-20-of-australians-are-self-described-sport-haters-223733">original article</a>.

How to be kind to yourself (without going to a day spa)

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583">Lydia Brown</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> “I have to be hard on myself,” Sarah told me in a recent telehealth psychology session. “I would never reach my potential if I was kind and let myself off the hook.” I could empathise with this fear of self-compassion from clients such as Sarah (not her real name). From a young age, we are taught to be kind to others, but self-kindness is never mentioned. Instead, we are taught success hinges on self-sacrifice. And we need a healthy inner critic to bully us forward into becoming increasingly better versions of ourselves. But <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">research shows</a> there doesn’t have to be a trade-off between self-compassion and success. Self-compassion can help you reach your potential, while supporting you to face the inevitable stumbles and setbacks along the way. <h2>What is self-compassion?</h2> <a href="https://self-compassion.org/">Self-compassion</a> has <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298860309027">three</a> key ingredients. 1. Self-kindness This involves treating yourself with the same kindness you would extend towards a good friend – via your thoughts, feelings and actions – especially during life’s difficult moments. For instance, if you find yourself fixating on a minor mistake you made at work, self-kindness might involve taking a ten-minute walk to shift focus, and reminding yourself it is OK to make mistakes sometimes, before moving on with your day. 2. Mindfulness In this context, mindfulness involves being aware of your own experience of stress or suffering, rather than repressing or avoiding your feelings, or over-identifying with them. Basically, you must see your stress with a clear (mindful) perspective before you can respond with kindness. If we avoid or are consumed by our suffering, we lose perspective. 3. Common humanity Common humanity involves recognising our own experience of suffering as something that unites us as being human. For instance, a sleep-deprived parent waking up (for the fourth time) to feed their newborn might choose to think about all the other parents around the world doing exactly the same thing – as opposed to feeling isolated and alone. <h2>It’s not about day spas, or booking a manicure</h2> When Sarah voiced her fear that self-compassion would prevent her success, I explained self-compassion is distinct from self-indulgence. “So is self-compassion just about booking in more mani/pedis?” Sarah asked. Not really, I explained. A one-off trip to a day spa is unlikely to transform your mental health. Instead, self-compassion is a flexible <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">psychological resilience factor</a> that shapes our thoughts, feelings and actions. It’s associated with a suite of benefits to our <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">wellbeing</a>, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.639548">relationships</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17437199.2019.1705872">health</a>. <h2>What does the science say?</h2> Over the past 20 years, we’ve learned self-compassionate people enjoy a wide range of benefits. They tend to be <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">happier</a> and have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2012.06.003">fewer psychological symptoms</a> of distress. Those high on self-compassion <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">persevere</a> following a failure. They say they are more motivated to overcome a personal weakness than those low on self-compassion, who are more likely to give up. So rather than feeling trapped by your inadequacies, self-compassion encourages a <a href="https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion">growth mindset</a>, helping you reach your potential. However, self-compassion is not a panacea. It will not change your life circumstances or somehow make life “easy”. It is based on the premise that life is hard, and provides practical tools to cope. <h2>It’s a factor in healthy ageing</h2> I research menopause and healthy ageing and am especially interested in the value of self-compassion through menopause and in the second half of life. Because self-compassion becomes important during life’s challenges, it can help people navigate physical symptoms (for instance, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378512214001649?via%3Dihub">menopausal hot flushes</a>), life transitions such as <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797611429466">divorce</a>, and <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">promote healthy ageing</a>. I’ve also teamed up with researchers at <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/">Autism Spectrum Australia</a> to explore self-compassion in autistic adults. We found autistic adults report significantly <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05668-y">lower levels</a> of self-compassion than neurotypical adults. So we developed an online <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/blog/new-online-self-compassion-program-for-autistic-adults">self-compassion training program</a> for this at-risk population. <h2>Three tips for self-compassion</h2> You <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/jclp.21923">can learn</a> self-compassion with these three exercises. 1. What would you say to a friend? Think back to the last time you made a mistake. What did you say to yourself? If you notice you’re treating yourself more like an enemy than a friend, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, try to think about what you might tell a friend, and direct that same friendly language towards yourself. 2. Harness the power of touch Soothing human touch <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.555058/full">activates</a> the parasympathetic “relaxation” branch of our nervous system and counteracts the fight or flight response. Specifically, self-soothing touch (for instance, by placing both hands on your heart, stroking your forearm or giving yourself a hug) <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666497621000655">reduces</a> cortisol responses to psychosocial stress. 3. What do I need right now? Sometimes, it can be hard to figure out exactly what self-compassion looks like in a given moment. The question “what do I need right now” helps clarify your true needs. For example, when I was 37 weeks pregnant, I woke up bolt awake one morning at 3am. Rather than beating myself up about it, or fretting about not getting enough sleep, I gently placed my hands on my heart and took a few deep breaths. By asking myself “what do I need right now?” it became clear that listening to a gentle podcast/meditation fitted the bill (even though I wanted to addictively scroll my phone).<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583">Lydia Brown</a>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-be-kind-to-yourself-without-going-to-a-day-spa-223194">original article</a>.

Caring

Mothers’ dieting habits and self-talk have profound impact on daughters − 2 psychologists explain how to cultivate healthy behaviors and body image

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> Weight loss is one of the most common health and appearance-related goals. Women and <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db340.htm">teen girls</a> are <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db313.htm">especially likely to pursue dieting</a> to achieve weight loss goals even though a great deal of research shows that <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-thin-people-dont-understand-about-dieting-86604">dieting doesn’t work over the long term</a>. We are a <a href="https://www.duck-lab.com/people">developmental psychologist</a> and a <a href="https://psy.uncg.edu/directory/ashleigh-gallagher/">social psychologist</a> who together wrote a forthcoming book, “Beyond Body Positive: A Mother’s Evidence-Based Guide for Helping Girls Build a Healthy Body Image.” In the book, we address topics such as the effects of maternal dieting behaviors on daughters’ health and well-being. We provide information on how to build a foundation for healthy body image beginning in girlhood. <h2>Culturally defined body ideals</h2> Given the strong influence of social media and other cultural influences on body ideals, it’s understandable that so many people pursue diets aimed at weight loss. <a href="https://communityhealth.mayoclinic.org/featured-stories/tiktok-diets">TikTok</a>, YouTube, Instagram and celebrity websites feature slim influencers and “how-tos” for achieving those same results in no time. For example, women and teens are engaging in rigid and extreme forms of exercise such as 54D, a program to <a href="https://54d.com/">achieve body transformation in 54 days</a>, or the <a href="https://health.clevelandclinic.org/75-hard-challenge-and-rules">75 Hard Challenge</a>, which is to follow five strict rules for 75 days. For teens, these pursuits are likely fueled by trendy body preoccupations such as the desire for “<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/06/well/move/tiktok-legging-legs-eating-disorders.html">legging legs</a>.” Women and teens have also been been inundated with recent messaging around <a href="https://theconversation.com/drugs-that-melt-away-pounds-still-present-more-questions-than-answers-but-ozempic-wegovy-and-mounjaro-could-be-key-tools-in-reducing-the-obesity-epidemic-205549">quick-fix weight loss drugs</a>, which come with a lot of caveats. Dieting and weight loss goals are highly individual, and when people are intensely self-focused, it is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2000.19.1.70">possible to lose sight of the bigger picture</a>. Although women might wonder what the harm is in trying the latest diet, science shows that dieting behavior doesn’t just affect the dieter. In particular, for women who are mothers or who have other girls in their lives, these behaviors affect girls’ emerging body image and their health and well-being. <h2>The profound effect of maternal role models</h2> Research shows that mothers and maternal figures <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2017.11.001">have a profound influence on their daughters’ body image</a>. The opportunity to influence girls’ body image comes far earlier than adolescence. In fact, research shows that these influences on body image <a href="https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-toxic-diet-culture-is-passed-from-moms-to-daughters">begin very early in life</a> – <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.acdb.2016.10.006">during the preschool years</a>. Mothers may feel that they are being discreet about their dieting behavior, but little girls are watching and listening, and they are far more observant of us than many might think. For example, one study revealed that compared with daughters of nondieting women, 5-year-old girls whose mothers dieted <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0002-8223(00)00339-4">were aware of the connection between dieting and thinness</a>. Mothers’ eating behavior does not just affect girls’ ideas about dieting, but also their daughters’ eating behavior. The amount of food that mothers eat <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">predicts how much their daughters will eat</a>. In addition, daughters whose mothers are dieters are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">more likely to become dieters themselves</a> and are also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eatbeh.2007.03.001">more likely to have a negative body image</a>. Negative body image is <a href="https://theconversation.com/mounting-research-documents-the-harmful-effects-of-social-media-use-on-mental-health-including-body-image-and-development-of-eating-disorders-206170">not a trivial matter</a>. It affects girls’ and women’s mental and physical well-being in a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105317710815">host of ways</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2011.06.009">can predict the emergence of eating disorders</a>. <h2>Avoiding ‘fat talk’</h2> What can moms do, then, to serve their daughters’ and their own health? They can focus on small steps. And although it is best to begin these efforts early in life – in girlhood – it is never too late to do so. For example, mothers can consider how they think about and talk about themselves around their daughters. Engaging in “fat talk” may inadvertently send their daughters the message that larger bodies are bad, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.07.004">contributing to weight bias</a> and negative self-image. Mothers’ fat talk also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15267431.2021.1908294">predicts later body dissatisfaction in daughters</a>. And negative self-talk isn’t good for mothers, either; it is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105318781943">lower motivation and unhealthful eating</a>. Mothers can instead practice and model self-compassion, which involves treating oneself the way <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2016.03.003">a loving friend might treat you</a>. In discussions about food and eating behavior, it is important to avoid moralizing certain kinds of food by labeling them as “good” or “bad,” as girls may extend these labels to their personal worth. For example, a young girl may feel that she is being “bad” if she eats dessert, if that is what she has learned from observing the women around her. In contrast, she may feel that she has to eat a salad to be “good.” Moms and other female role models can make sure that the dinner plate sends a healthy message to their daughters by showing instead that all foods can fit into a balanced diet when the time is right. Intuitive eating, which emphasizes paying attention to hunger and satiety and allows flexibility in eating behavior, is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s40519-020-00852-4">better physical and mental health in adolescence</a>. Another way that women and especially moms can buffer girls’ body image is by helping their daughters <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2021.12.009">to develop media literacy</a> and to think critically about the nature and purpose of media. For example, moms can discuss the misrepresentation and distortion of bodies, such as the use of filters to enhance physical appearance, on social media. <h2>Focusing on healthful behaviors</h2> One way to begin to focus on health behaviors rather than dieting behaviors is to develop respect for the body and to <a href="https://theconversation.com/body-neutrality-what-it-is-and-how-it-can-help-lead-to-more-positive-body-image-191799">consider body neutrality</a>. In other words, prize body function rather than appearance and spend less time thinking about your body’s appearance. Accept that there are times when you may not feel great about your body, and that this is OK. To feel and look their best, mothers can aim to stick to a <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-best-diet-for-healthy-sleep-a-nutritional-epidemiologist-explains-what-food-choices-will-help-you-get-more-restful-zs-219955">healthy sleep schedule</a>, manage their stress levels, <a href="https://theconversation.com/fiber-is-your-bodys-natural-guide-to-weight-management-rather-than-cutting-carbs-out-of-your-diet-eat-them-in-their-original-fiber-packaging-instead-205159">eat a varied diet</a> that includes all of the foods that they enjoy, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-runners-high-may-result-from-molecules-called-cannabinoids-the-bodys-own-version-of-thc-and-cbd-170796">move and exercise their bodies regularly</a> as lifelong practices, rather than engaging in quick-fix trends. Although many of these tips sound familiar, and perhaps even simple, they become effective when we recognize their importance and begin acting on them. Mothers can work toward modeling these behaviors and tailor each of them to their daughter’s developmental level. It’s never too early to start. <h2>Promoting healthy body image</h2> Science shows that several personal characteristics are associated with body image concerns among women. For example, research shows that women who are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.02.001">higher in neuroticism</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/2050-2974-1-2">and perfectionism</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.983534">lower in self-compassion</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2013.08.001">lower in self-efficacy</a> are all more likely to struggle with negative body image. Personality is frequently defined as a person’s characteristic pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors. But if they wish, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/per.1945">mothers can change personality characteristics</a> that they feel aren’t serving them well. For example, perfectionist tendencies – such as setting unrealistic, inflexible goals – can be examined, challenged and replaced with more rational thoughts and behaviors. A woman who believes she must work out every day can practice being more flexible in her thinking. One who thinks of dessert as “cheating” can practice resisting moral judgments about food. Changing habitual ways of thinking, feeling and behaving certainly takes effort and time, but it is far more likely than diet trends to bring about sustainable, long-term change. And taking the first steps to modify even a few of these habits can positively affect daughters. In spite of all the noise from media and other cultural influences, mothers can feel empowered knowing that they have a significant influence on their daughters’ feelings about, and treatment of, their bodies. In this way, mothers’ modeling of healthier attitudes and behaviors is a sound investment – for both their own body image and that of the girls they love.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221968/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, Senior Lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/mothers-dieting-habits-and-self-talk-have-profound-impact-on-daughters-2-psychologists-explain-how-to-cultivate-healthy-behaviors-and-body-image-221968">original article</a>.

Mind

The types of insurance that aren’t worth your while

While it’s important to make sure you’ve been covered, some forms of insurance aren’t really worth your while in the long run. We’ve taken a look at several types of insurance you shouldn’t really bother with, why they’re not worth your money and how you can find an alternative. Yes, it’s essential to make sure you’re covered, but at the same time you don’t need to waste any money. Extended warranties Many a salesperson has made a customer fork out that little bit extra for an “extended warranty” to go with a major electronic purchase. The thing is though, in many cases the period of time covered by the warranty is actually exactly the level you’re automatically entitled to under consumer law. Credit protection insurance While this type of insurance can be useful and a way to insure yourself against the possibility of something happening to your income as the result of an injury or a condition, credit protection insurance has tendency to be pretty expensive. A more cost effective way to ensure your payments to your credit card, personal loans or mortgages are fulfilled would be to take out a life insurance or total and permanent disability insurance policy through your individual superannuation fund. Funeral insurance Many people see this as a good way to ease the financial burden on their family that comes with their passing, but in reality funeral insurance is quite expensive and the premiums add up every year. A far better option is a prepaid funeral, funeral bonds life insurance or even a special savings account with money set aside. Just make sure you let your family know! ID theft insurance This is one of those types of insurance that isn’t really protecting your from becoming a victim, rather helping you deal with the costs once it’s already happened. And what’s more, you bank is usually willing to cover the costs of credit card fraud, which is one of the major problems to be associated with ID theft. Instead of spending money on a policy you can protect yourself from ID theft by simply keeping your personal documents safe, shredding documents such as bank account statements before throwing them away, and using antivirus software that is up to date. You can also check your credit file each year to make sure nobody’s using your identity for fake accounts. Image credits: Getty Images

Money & Banking

Is Valentine’s Day worth the romantic investment? Here’s what we can learn from economics

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/selma-wather-1510222">Selma Wather</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a> Expressing affection can be expensive. Spending on heart-shaped gifts, romantic cards, chocolates and flowers (other gifts are available) to celebrate Valentine’s Day has reached <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/510981/valentines-day-total-spending-great-britain/#:%7E:text=In%20the%20United%20Kingdom%20%28UK%29%20alone%2C%20Valentine%E2%80%99s%20Day,increased%20by%20just%20over%20300%20million%20British%20pounds.">close to £1 billion</a> in the UK. So the value of Valentine’s to retailers seems clear enough. But just how valuable is the annual ritual to consumers? What return can you expect for the money you invest in that bouquet of roses or candle lit meal? Broadly speaking, and depending on your relationship status, buying into Valentine’s Day traditions suggests two possible scenarios. You might be sending a card or gift to a potential partner to inform them of your interest; or you might be giving something to your current partner to remind them of your continuing love. Research suggests that both options have intrinsic economic value. For those seeking to express interest, sending a card is like dipping your toe into what economists might refer to as the “marriage market” – the search for someone you like, who likes what you have to offer in return. This search can happen smoothly, with plenty of information about your potential match, or it can be paved with obstacles, where you may not know much about who is available, and <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1703310">learning about potential partners</a> takes time. So suppose you are searching for a partner, and comprehensive information about potential matches is not freely available. What do you do? One option might be to put all your hopes into meeting someone on your daily journey to work. You pray that one day, just like in the movies, you will simply bump into “the one”. A second option might be to focus your search on single work colleagues, or people you know socially, and send Valentine’s Day cards to those you are attracted to. The option with the highest chance of success is the second one. You are using reliable information – knowledge of who is single. And sending a card to them can provide them with important information about you – that you’re also single, and that you’re interested. This is why research suggests that sending a Valentine’s Day card can be a <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2938374?origin=crossref">logical investment</a> of time and money. <h2>‘Match quality’</h2> Fast forward five years or so and imagine you are happily married to the recipient of one of those cards. Is it worth repeating the gesture now that you’re settled down together? Economists think of marriages or partnerships as having an inherent “<a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1468-2354.2006.00385.x">match quality</a>”, which reflects how good (or bad) your relationship is – and the likelihood of you breaking up. If match quality falls below the level of happiness you might expect to have if you were to leave, a <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2759255">separation may well follow</a>. But many studies also show that <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2535409">match quality is malleable</a> – that it can change, for better and indeed for worse, over time. You can invest in trying to improve match quality in various ways. It might be starting a family, sharing hobbies and interests, or gestures such as cooking a special meal or exchanging gifts on the 14th day of February. Improving your match quality <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228431914_How_Does_the_Change_of_Marriage_Quality_Affect_Divorce_Decisions">directly reduces the probability</a> of a separation. Then there’s the question of commitment – the willingness to stay in a relationship rather than walking away. And again, gestures can make a difference. Imagine you have just started a new job, and your employer asks you to complete an intensive training session in your free time, for a skill that would only be useful for that particular role. If you expect to hold the job for a long period, you might happily invest your time. But if your employer is struggling financially and redundancy is on the cards, you are much less likely to agree to perform the task. Relationships work in a similar way. People are more prepared to invest in things like having children or buying a house together if they expect the relationship to last. Given that commitment is not guaranteed by a marriage certificate, people <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=950688">need to find other ways</a> to signal their continued devotion. Celebrating Valentine’s Day is one way of making such a signal. It can show faith in your shared commitment, signify that you wish to continue investing in the relationship and improve match quality, further stabilising the partnership. So even if deep down you think that Valentine’s Day has become over commercialised and meaningless, research suggests it makes good economic sense to send that card.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223128/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/selma-wather-1510222">Selma Wather</a>, Senior Lecturer in Economics, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-valentines-day-worth-the-romantic-investment-heres-what-we-can-learn-from-economics-223128">original article</a>.

Money & Banking

‘Self-love’ might seem selfish. But done right, it’s the opposite of narcissism

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ian-robertson-1372650">Ian Robertson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a> “To love what you are, the thing that is yourself, is just as if you were embracing a glowing red-hot iron” <a href="https://archive.org/details/jungsseminaronni0000jung">said psychonalyst Carl Jung</a>. Some may argue this social media generation does not seem to struggle with loving themselves. But is the look-at-me-ism so easily found on TikTok and Instagram the kind of self-love we need in order to flourish? The language of <a href="https://theconversation.com/teaching-positive-psychology-skills-at-school-may-be-one-way-to-help-student-mental-health-and-happiness-217173">positive psychology</a> can be – and often is – appropriated for all kinds of self-importance, as well as cynical marketing strategies. Loving yourself, though, psychological experts stress, is not the same as behaving selfishly. There’s a firm line between healthy and appropriate forms of loving yourself, and malignant or <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-many-types-of-narcissist-are-there-a-psychology-expert-sets-the-record-straight-207610">narcissistic</a> forms. But how do we distinguish between them? In 2023, researchers Eva Henschke and Peter Sedlmeier conducted <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/355152846_What_is_self-love_Redefinition_of_a_controversial_construct">a series of interviews</a> with psychotherapists and other experts on what self-love is. They’ve concluded it has three main features: self-care, self-acceptance and self-contact (devoting attention to yourself). But as an increasingly individualistic society, are we already devoting too much attention to ourselves? <h2>Philosophy and self-love</h2> Philosophers and psychology experts alike have considered the ethics of self-love. Psychology researcher Li Ming Xue and her colleagues, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.585719/full">exploring the notion of self-love in Chinese culture</a>, claim “Western philosophers believe that self-love is a virtue”. But this is a very broad generalisation. In the Christian tradition and in much European philosophy, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10848770.2020.1839209">says philosopher Razvan Ioan</a>, self-love is condemned as a profoundly damaging trait. On the other hand, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2107991">many of the great Christian philosophers</a>, attempting to make sense of the instruction to love one’s neighbour as oneself, admitted certain forms of self-love were virtuous. In order to love your neighbour as yourself, you must, it would seem, love yourself. In the Western philosophical context, claim Xue and her colleagues, self-love is concerned with individual rights – “society as a whole only serves to promote an individual’s happiness”. This individualistic, self-concerned notion of self-love, they suggest, might come from the Ancient Greek philosophers. In particular, Aristotle. But <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/philosophy-stirred-not-shaken/201502/love-yourself-love-your-character">Aristotle thought only the most virtuous</a>, who benefited the society around them, should love themselves. By making this connection, he avoided equating self-love with self-centredness. We should love ourselves not out of vanity, he argued, but in virtue of our capacity for good. Does Aristotle, then, provide principled grounds for distinguishing between proper and improper forms of self-love? <h2>Bar too high?</h2> Aristotle might set the bar too high. If only the most virtuous should try to love themselves, this collides head-on with the idea loving yourself can help us improve and become more virtuous – as <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1057/9781137383310_6">philosophers Kate Abramson and Adam Leite have argued</a>. Many psychologists claim self-love is important for adopting the kind and compassionate self-perception crucial for overcoming conditions that weaponise self-criticism, like <a href="https://theconversation.com/clinical-perfectionism-when-striving-for-excellence-gets-you-down-43704">clinical perfectionism</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-many-people-have-eating-disorders-we-dont-really-know-and-thats-a-worry-121938">eating disorders</a>. More broadly, some argue compassion for oneself is necessary to support honest insights into your own behaviour. They believe we need warm and compassionate self-reflection to avoid the defensiveness that comes with the fear of judgement – even if we’re standing as our own judge. For this reason, a compassionate form of self-love is often necessary to follow Socrates’ advice to “know thyself”, says <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10677-015-9578-4">philosopher Jan Bransen</a>. Positive self-love, by these lights, can help us grow as people. <h2>Self-love ‘misguided and silly’</h2> But not everyone agrees you need self-love to grow. The late philosopher <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/news/2005/nov/29/guardianobituaries.obituaries">Oswald Hanfling</a> was deeply sceptical of this idea. In fact, he argued the notion of loving oneself was misguided and silly. His ideas are mostly rejected by philosophers of love, but pointing out where they go wrong can be useful. When you love someone, he said, you’re prepared to sacrifice your own interests for those of your beloved. But he thought the idea of sacrificing your own interests made no sense – which shows, he concluded, we can’t love ourselves. <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3751159">He wrote</a>: "I may sacrifice an immediate satisfaction for the sake of my welfare in the future, as in the case of giving up smoking. In this case, however, my motive is not love but self-interest. What I reveal in giving up smoking is not the extent of my love for myself, but an understanding that the long-term benefits of giving it up are likely to exceed the present satisfaction of going on with it." We often have conflicting interests (think of someone who is agonising over two different career paths) – and it’s not at all strange to sacrifice certain interests for the sake of others. This is not just a question of sacrificing short-term desires in favour of a long-term good, but a matter of sacrificing something of value for your ultimate benefit (or, so you hope). <h2>Self-compassion</h2> Hanfling fails to consider the role of compassionate self-love. While we might understand it’s in our interests to do something (for instance, repair bridges with someone we’ve fallen out with), it might take a compassionate and open disposition towards ourselves to recognise what’s in our best interests. We might need this self-compassion, too, in order to admit our failures – so we can overcome our defensiveness and see clearly how we’re failing to fulfil <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10677-015-9578-4">these interests</a>. Self-acceptance in this context does not mean giving ourselves licence to run roughshod over the interests of those around us, nor to justify our flaws as “valid” rather than work on them. Self-love, as promoted by contemporary psychologists, means standing in a compassionate relationship to ourselves. And there’s nothing contradictory about this idea. Just as we strive to develop a supportive, kind relationship to the people we care about – and just as this doesn’t involve uncritical approval of everything they do – compassionate self-love doesn’t mean abandoning valid self-criticism. In fact, self-compassion has the opposite effect. It promotes comfort with the kind of critical self-assessment that helps us grow – which leads to resilience. It breeds the opposite of narcissistic self-absorption.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205938/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ian-robertson-1372650">Ian Robertson</a>, PhD Candidate (Teaching roles at Macquarie & Wollongong), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/self-love-might-seem-selfish-but-done-right-its-the-opposite-of-narcissism-205938">original article</a>.

Mind

Maintaining friendships after a dementia diagnosis can spur feelings of joy and self-worth

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/colleen-whyte-1281976">Colleen Whyte</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/brock-university-1340">Brock University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/darla-fortune-1363967">Darla Fortune</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/concordia-university-1183">Concordia University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rebecca-genoe-1363968">Rebecca Genoe</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a> What would our lives be like if we could no longer depend on our most cherished friendships? The people who know us best, who have been there through our ups and downs, and share a history with us? For many people living with dementia, this is a reality. Over 500,000 Canadians <a href="https://alzheimer.ca/en/about-dementia/what-dementia/dementia-numbers-canada">are currently living with dementia</a>, and a diagnosis often leads to <a href="https://www.alzscot.org/news/friendship-and-dementia">a loss of friendships</a> and social opportunities. The reactions of friends greatly affect the experience of someone living with dementia. When friends distance themselves because they don’t know what to say or presume they no longer know how to interact with their friend, a person with dementia can experience <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/275353356_Friendships_for_People_Living_with_Dementia_in_Long-Term_Care">feelings of isolation and loneliness</a>. When people living with dementia can depend on their friends, they continue to enjoy meaningful leisure activities, experience <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/ageing/afx186">feelings of joy and self-worth</a>, and see themselves as <a href="https://alzheimer.ca/en/take-action/become-dementia-friendly/meaningful-engagement-people-living-dementia">valued members of their social circles</a>. <a href="https://dementiaandfriendship.ca/">Our research</a> had us interview friends together, asking them to share tips and strategies for navigating dementia. We heard moving stories of deepened bonds of friendship, genuine acceptance and the joy of simply being together. <h2>Adapting to changes</h2> Our research allowed us to speak with people who shared a 70-year friendship and couldn’t imagine life without each other. We learned that for some, a neighbourhood walk together was an opportunity to say a quick hello and how a weekly trip to the pub enabled some friends to connect and re-connect in a familiar space. People living with dementia and their friends <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0714980821000301">may adapt to changes</a> brought about by the diagnosis in several ways. For example, they may prioritize their friendship by setting aside time for regular phone calls and visits. They may alter the way they think about the friendship by being accepting of the changes. They may also use practical strategies, like providing reminders for plans, and offering additional support when spending time together. Friends of individuals living with dementia may seek ways to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1471301220980898">continue enjoying meaningful time together</a>. Sometimes this involves identifying activities that are comfortable and familiar. It may also involve providing direction and encouragement to support the continuation of enjoyable experiences, such as visiting a favourite restaurant. For some, additional comfort may come from hanging out as a group because there is extra support available if needed. <h2>Open and honest communication</h2> Open and honest communication is key to maintaining any friendship and becomes particularly important following a diagnosis of dementia. Yet, that may be the biggest challenge. Below are <a href="https://dementiaandfriendship.ca/">some questions that friends might find helpful</a> to ask over a cup of coffee, on a walk or in a quiet, shared moment: <ul> <li>What do you value about our friendship? Can I tell you what our friendship means to me?</li> <li>What is one thing I do that makes you laugh? Here’s something you do that makes me laugh…</li> <li>How can we make sure we maintain our friendship (i.e., talk on the phone, over the internet, go for coffee)? How often do you want to connect? How do we need to change our time together? What can stay the same?</li> <li>How can we support each other to continue enjoying the leisure activities that are meaningful to us?</li> <li>What are the best times and days to plan activities (i.e., morning, afternoon, weekday, weekend)? Are there exceptions?</li> <li>Do we need to schedule something in advance (need time to prepare, or get more rest the day before) or can we be spontaneous?</li> <li>Where do you feel safe and able to be yourself?</li> <li>When we are in public and you need me to step in for you, how will I know? What is “our” signal?</li> <li>What do I do if I notice you’re starting to make decisions that are not like you?</li> <li>Can I ask you these same questions in a few weeks?</li> </ul> The need for friendship <a href="https://alzheimer.ca/en/help-support/im-living-dementia/living-well-dementia/staying-socially-connected">does not diminish with age</a> and <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/happiness-in-world/201312/the-true-meaning-friendship">friendships continue to deeply enrich our lives</a>. Given that a dementia diagnosis often puts individuals at an increased risk of social isolation, we must pay careful attention to understanding ways to ensure that friends remain engaged with their networks in personal and meaningful ways. The first step is to trust in the friendship and begin to explore how it can be sustained over time.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/187038/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/colleen-whyte-1281976">Colleen Whyte</a>, Associate Professor in the Department of Recreation and Leisure Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/brock-university-1340">Brock University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/darla-fortune-1363967">Darla Fortune</a>, Associate Professor, Applied Human Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/concordia-university-1183">Concordia University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rebecca-genoe-1363968">Rebecca Genoe</a>, Professor, Kinesiology and Health Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/maintaining-friendships-after-a-dementia-diagnosis-can-spur-feelings-of-joy-and-self-worth-187038">original article</a>.

Relationships

"Worth it": Insane amount woman spends to clone dead cat

Kelly Anderson from Texas, US was devastated when she lost her "soulmate" cat Chai more than four years ago. Not long after, in what she calls "fate", Anderson decided to clone her beloved pet, a process which cost her a whopping $USD25,000 ($AUD38,000). "It was just one of those moments where I had been talking about cloning a few weeks before and fate kicked in," she told Weekend Today. "I remembered the conversation and decided to clone." The process took about four years, which is roughly twice the average time it takes to clone a pet. "It was not money that I had come easily to me but it was a very important process for me to do," she said. "It was 100 per cent worth it. The process saved my life." Anderson added that Belle, the successfully cloned cat, has grown to be as "bold, bossy, sassy" as Chai, and their personalities have become more alike. Despite the similarities, Anderson said that she doesn't set any expectations on Belle to be Chai's replacement. "I would still say she's very much her own cat and I treat her that way. I always try to treat them as individuals. "I never wanted to put expectations on Belle to be Chai. But I would say that they're very similar in a lot of ways." According to <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/business-60924936" target="_blank" rel="noopener">BBC</a>, the process itself involves extracting DNA from the pet to be cloned, then injecting that into a donor egg that has had its genetic material removed. The egg then grows into an embryo before being implanted into a surrogate mother, who then gives birth to the kitten. Pet cloning has become an increasingly popular practice, , despite how controversial and expensive it is, with celebrities like Barbra Streisand and Simon Cowell using the process to clone their own beloved pets. Anderson, who decided to document her story on social media added that people have mixed reactions to the process. "I think there's people who are fascinated and don't even realise that we're cloning animals ... so a lot of people are learning about cloning," she said. "But a lot of people also have opinions. So it's a mixed bag." Images: Weekend Today

Money & Banking

“Worth the wait”: Jacinda Ardern ties the knot

Jacinda Arden and her long-term partner Clarke Gayford have tied the knot, five years after getting engaged. The former New Zealand prime minister shared a series of loved-up photos from the big day, as she beamed from ear to ear as she embraced her new husband. Posting the photos to Instagram, she captioned the post, “13.01.24 Worth the wait”. Ardern, 43, and Gayford, 47, tied the knot at the Craggy Range vineyard in New Zealand’s Hawkes Bay region on Saturday, surrounded by their friends and family. The couple’s five-year-old daughter, Neve, accompanied her father down the aisle, wearing a dress made from her grandmother’s wedding dress. Jacinda wore a white halter neck gown by New Zealand designer Juliette Hogan, paired with a floor-length white veil and an all white bouquet. The wedding came after almost five years of engagement, with the former first couple originally planning to hold the ceremony in 2022 before the Covid pandemic forced the plans into disarray. “My wedding won’t be going ahead but I just join many other New Zealanders who have had an experience like that as a result of the pandemic,” she told reporters in January 2022, adding, “Such is life.” The couple began dating in 2014 after Gayford, a marine enthusiast and host of local fishing shows, contacted the then-Labour list MP about proposed legislation in 2013. Image credits: Instagram - Felicity Jean Weddings

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